Revelation: A Contemporary Erotic Romance (Iris Series) (34 page)

“He left Jeremy a voicemail early this morning,” Ryann said.  “Jeremy said he sounded really quiet and kinda sad, which seemed strange since he was calling to say they’d found some guy they’d been looking for for the last two weeks and they were interrogating him.  He said he might be running late for the training this morning, but that he’d be there.”

Emily nodded.  “I guess that means he won’t have gotten much sleep.  If it’s the guy he told me about a couple of weeks ago then it was a husband they’d suspected of stabbing and killing his wife.”  She wondered how he was.  She wanted to give him a hug.  Kiss him.  Hold him.

Snap out of it, Em.

They all stared at her.

“You talked to him?  When?”

“A couple of Mondays ago.”  She took another sip of her mimosa then became engrossed with the omelet on her plate.

“So nothing’s been going on with you two?” Janie persisted.

Emily cleared her throat and didn’t answer, but rather took a bite of food.

“You know, it’s interesting,” Ayanna mused while looking at Emily.  “Jon mentioned to me that Mike told him he was planning on pursuing you.  I believe his exact words were he was gonna ‘wear you down’,” Ayanna said taking a sip of her drink and giving an innocent look over to Emily.  “I’m sure Jon’ll follow up with him today about it.  You know, being the ‘big brother’ and you being out with another guy last night and all.” 

Emily snapped her head to Ayanna.  “Oh, God.  He better
not
say anything.”

Ayanna shrugged.  “I’m pretty sure he’s gonna say something, if at least to see his reaction.”  Ayanna watched for Emily’s
own
reaction to her words.  “So.  Has Mike managed to wear you down yet?  Or is it the other way around?”

Emily put her fork down and dropped her head in her hands.  Shit.  She’d told him she didn’t want to see anyone else.  Now he was going to think… She continued looking at her plate and swallowed.

“From the look of you, and how he sounded on the phone, I’d say you’ve both worn each other down,” Janie said quietly.  “What’s going on?”

Crickets.

“Em,” Janie said sincerely.

Emily finally looked up.  They all reached toward her in one way or another.  Some physically, some just with their eyes and expressions.

“You can trust us if you need to talk,” Janie began.  “Yes, he’s my brother, but I promise I can be objective.  I can go to the restroom and leave you all to talk if that makes you feel more comfortable.  But you need to know that all of us love you.  We can keep things confidential.  We just want you to know that you can talk if you want to.”

Emily looked around the table at these beautiful women who looked at her with such love and concern.  In that moment she made a decision.  She took a breath and began talking while blinking back her tears.

“When I was in high school,” she began, “I lost a lot of friends.”  She paused.  “Well, let me clarify.  They were people I thought were my friends, but when a girl claims a popular football player rapes her, people take sides.  And in Taylor’s case, pretty much everyone took his.  In some ways, I lost Taylor too.  She never did anything wrong, but if I was ever feeling upset about something, I never really felt like I could tell her.  I mean, how were my insignificant stupid problems anywhere near what she went through, right?”

She got a faraway look on her face.  “I felt guilty going to her when she had so much on her plate.  It wasn’t the best way to handle it.  I realize now that it further victimized her by not thinking she was strong enough to be a friend anymore.  In actuality, she is so much stronger than I
am.  We eventually worked through that, but I still struggle with sharing my problems with her.  I always feel like I need to have it all together –”

She took another breath and continued.  “I dated a guy for a short time my junior year, just puppy love really, and when he turned out to be someone who thought Taylor had made up the rape as well, I kind of gave up on relationships for a while, romantic and otherwise.” 

She looked up at the women.  “Suffice it to say trust doesn’t come easily to me.  And I know I talk a good game at being strong and fight better than most men,” she said with her mouth quirking up in wry humor, “but I’m just really good at acting.  In reality,” she paused, “I’m just a scared woman who isn’t truthful about how scared she really is.”

Ayanna reached over and put her hand on Emily’s arm while Ryann touched her other one.

“It’s not easy for me to share my feelings,” she said looking down at her lap.  “To men or women.  I know how to give opinions, argue, talk politics.  I’m even pretty good at telling other people what to do,” she chuckled and so did Ayanna.  “But I think I might need some help with something and if you guys would be willing to listen,” she said quietly, “I could use some advice because it’s absolutely beyond me.”

“We’ll do whatever you need, Em.  Just tell us,” Tiffany said.

Emily told them about Scott, how he’d been her first and only back in law school and that his insensitive comments to her when they’d been dating, along with his cheating ways had put her off men for good.  She shared that she never felt understood by people, especially men, since she’d felt like men thought she was too strong and standoffish because she never needed to be saved.  She was beginning to realize that she was partly to blame for that by not giving anyone a chance to know her.  Until Mike, she’d never felt so connected to a man, other than the men in her family.

She got even quieter but shared the fact that she and Mike finally gave in to their attraction after the barbeque.  She looked up at Janie, who looked like she was going to burst into happy tears.  Emily smiled and explained she was still completely flummoxed by the fact that he actually liked how she fought and argued.  She told them with humor how the last few weeks had unfolded with the handcuffs, the singing telegram, and then turned serious when talking about the club and bumping into Scott, as well as her foggy memory of how the night unfolded.

When she finally got around to how that Monday night two weeks ago ended and then what she’d said to Mike before asking him to leave, the table seemed to get even quieter.

“He confuses me.  I mean, he turned into this guy who is so good.  So nice.”  She looked at Janie apologetically.  “Sorry.  I don’t mean to say –”

Janie put up her hand.  “Trust me.  I know he’s a knuckle draggin’ ass most of the time, but he really is a good guy.”

“He’s fun, infuriating, wonderful and sensitive, brutally honest, makes me laugh, likes to
fight with me, and the sex,” she stuttered, “the sex is like nothing I thought ever even existed.”

Janie made a face and winced, putting her fingers in her ears.

Then Emily got serious.  They all waited for her to continue.

“I think,” she began and then blinked back more tears.  She covered her mouth then leaned her chin on her hand and said, “Cone of silence here, okay?”  Once they all nodded, she finished with, “I think I
’m in love with him.  And I’m scared to death.  He’s not one who does relationships.  And I don’t think I can just sleep with him.  I’m not built that way.  I thought I could do it, but I don’t think I can.”

“Why do you think he’s not one for relationships?” Ayanna asked quietly.  “Just because he hasn’t had a serious one doesn’t mean he’s not
for
one.”

“Guys, come on.  Janie, forgive me, here, but everyone, look at his personality.  He’s a babe magnet.  He flirts like there’s no tomorrow.  How many women has he been with that have probably fallen for him?  He has a knack for charming the women he’s with and making them feel like they’re the only ones in the room.  I don’t wanna be another one of those women.  Ry, you even told me he said to you once that he would never fall in love.”

“So what?” Ryann asked.  “You don’t think people can change their minds?  Jeremy did.”  Ryann looked her in the eye and continued.  “Mike said that because he hadn’t found a woman he could fall in love with yet, Em.  Did you see how he was when you took down that guy who was robbing that lady in front of the brownstone on Labor Day?  How he kept saying you were magnificent?  He loves that about you, watching you in your element, arguing with you.  You’re a great match for him, verbally and physically.”

“He’s made a few comments,” Emily murmured. 

“What kinds of comments?” Janie asked.

“Just things.  Complimentary things about how,” she swallowed, “how no one can compare to me.  That he wouldn’t want anyone else.  Nice things that make a woman feel special.”  She covered her mouth to stop the sob from coming out.

“Oh, Em,” Janie said.  “I promise you.  He doesn’t just say things like that to women.  He’s a charmer, yes, but he would never lead someone on.  To my knowledge, he’s never said things like that to
any
one.  It’s always just been fun and games with him and he’s never been serious about a girl before, but we all see the attraction that he has for you.  And it’s not just physical.  He likes you, you know?  Likes talking to you.  He sounded so depressed on the phone and I know it wasn’t a case.  He doesn’t let cases get to him like that.  It had to be you.  If he’s saying the things you mentioned, then that’s his way of letting you know how important you are.  Especially given what he said to you when you last saw him.  And Em,” she said, “he won’t call.  He respects you too much and he’ll want you to come to him when you’re ready.  So go to him.  Be honest with him.”

All of the girls were nodding.

“That’s what he keeps saying to me.  He knows I haven’t been honest with him.” 
Had she totally screwed this up?
  “I’m just so scared,” she whispered.  “I hate the fact that I’m such a coward.”

“When I was trying to figure out stuff with Jeremy,” Ryann began, “it was my mom who slapped me into shape and so now it’s up to us to pass along the same wisdom that she gave me.  It basically comes down to this:  You won’t know until you talk to him, Em.  If you’ve been looking for a man who’ll understand you, who’ll accept you for you, I think you’ve found him.  You just have to go get him and see where it takes you.  You won’t know until you tell him, until you try this thing.  Is it terrifying?  Yes.  But are you really gonna live your life wondering about what could’ve been?  You need to give him the benefit of the doubt here.  Maybe he’s been looking for someone who’ll understand him too.”

Emily’s memory was sent back to the night at her apartment and the conversation they’d had on the sofa.  About how he hadn’t felt completely understood as a kid. 

Janie was wiping her eyes.  As Emily looked around the table and wiped hers as well, Ryann, surprisingly, was the only one whose eyes
weren’t
wet.  And she was usually the crier in the bunch.

“I need to talk to him,” Emily finally said.

“Yes, you do,” Ayanna said.  “Today.”

“I’ll text him tonight.  He’ll have the training and then I’m sure he’s gonna need some sleep.  But I’ll definitely text him tonight.”

“Good,” Ayanna said.  All of the women at the table seemed to take a collective cleansing breath.  “Well.  Okay then.  It’s five o’clock somewhere.  Who needs another drink?”

Just as Ayanna raised her hand for the waiter to bring more mimosas, they all noticed Jeremy, Luke, Drew and Jonathan walking over to the table.  Emily immediately looked for Mike, but didn’t see him.

“Hey!” Ayanna said.  “You crashin’ our party?”  She leaned back for a kiss from Jon.

“You mentioned where you’d be, so we thought we’d swing by,” Jon said before planting one on Ayanna’s lips.

“Where’s Mike?” Ryann asked Jeremy as he kissed her hello.  At the same time, she squeezed Emily’s hand under the table. 

“He’s just parking his bike.  Jon, Luke and Drew drove with me.”

They all began to shuffle so the guys could fit at the table.  Tiffany was all aflutter, looking sick to her stomach as Drew pushed his way in to sit next to her, while Luke put a chair between his sister and Janie.

There was a buzz of conversation, but all Emily could think about was Mike and what would happen when he walked in.  She swallowed, trying to tamp down the panic.

“It looks like you’re feeling better,” she heard Drew say to Tiffany.

“Were you sick?” she heard Luke’s voice ask his sister.

Just breathe.  Breathe.

Mike walked in the entrance and began looking around.  Emily’s eyes immediately latched onto him, gobbling him up with her eyes.  He looked tired, drawn, with dark circles under his eyes.  When he turned his head and finally saw them in the back, his eyes clashed with hers.

She could see his lips form the word ‘shit’ just before he took a deep breath and began walking toward the table.  His eyes slipped from hers and zeroed in on Jeremy’s, looking annoyed.

A round of ‘heys’ sounded from the table as he approached and people began to move to make room for him.

“Well, this is a pleasant surprise,” Mike said, even though his face didn’t show the ‘pleasant’, only the ‘surprise’.  “I didn’t know you girls would be here.”  He had a tight smile on his face and glared at Jeremy.

“We didn’t tell you?” Jeremy asked innocently.  He turned to Jon.  “I thought we told him we were gonna see the girls.”