Revive Me (Say Something Book 3) (4 page)

She smiles and tugs my arm towards the door.

“Thanks for coming!” Tiffany says as we walk out.

“I should have known that wouldn’t be what type of wedding dresses you would want anyway. Come on I have an idea.” She giggles and pulls me towards the car.

Chapter Seven

Joslynn parks the car next to the woods line of a river I know all too well. This was our favorite place to swim as kids. Joslynn would always dive down and pretend she was a fish with a fish family. She used to say that any fish family was better than the family she had. I wipe the tears from my cheeks and step out of the car a bounce in my step this time.

We walk down the woods trail and sit under the trees. Big rocks line the outside of the river where others have come to swim. Being back here seems to bring the kid out in both of us.

“Remember the last time we were here?” I ask.

Joslynn turns towards me and crosses her legs pulling at the grass as she looks out over the water.

“Do you think they are still down there?”

My mom would let us come down here and swim during the summer. She would pack a cooler and we would spend all day in the water. The one thing Jos’ dad always held on to was her mom’s wedding rings. He used to shove it in her face and yell at her about how she took that life away from him. One day she took the rings from her dad while he was passed out and hid them at my house until we came to swim again.

We had been swimming for hours with her holding on to the rings and mocking her father until she broke down and cried and threw the rings in the air – both of us watching as they sank under water. We both cried for hours longer. She said that day it felt like a weight had been lifted off her shoulders even though we both knew he would be pissed when he looked for them and couldn’t find them.

“Probably,” I answered.

That day we both said that if we ever had a problem or a worry we would throw it in the river and watch it sink. Let the weight of the water weigh down the weight of the worry. The water seemed to handle it better than we could any ways and if it was in the bottom of the river there was no way either of us could pick it back up and worry again.

“I think that was the day I finally decided that no matter what that man said nothing else would weigh me down.” Jos deadpans.

“Yep.” I pick up a rock and close my eyes. “This is for the restaurant and the wedding. Neither are going to be the death of me. We are going to rock that shit!” I throw a rock in the water. Letting go of the breath I didn’t realize I was holding in.

“This is for being a better mom than mine was,” Joslynn adds and throws a rock too.

Lying back against my rock again, I close my eyes and listen to the sound of the water and the things in the woods around us. Being here always seemed to take it all away without ever having to proclaim it, sometimes it just helps to say it.

***

The ride back home is both quiet and relaxing as Joslynn and I feel like neither of us has to say anything more than what we said beside the water. When Joslynn drops me off, I walk into the quiet house and take a shower and plan dinner for the night. Trevor was so amazing with his proposal I want to surprise him with a dinner to show him how excited I am to carry his last name finally.

Once I am dried off and dressed I walk to the kitchen and click the radio on. The sound of the music and the smell of the food is soothing after a long day. Not long after I pull the chicken from the oven Trevor walks in.

“Hey, baby, hungry?” I ask smiling.

He walks to me and wraps his arms around me. I lean my head back and kiss him. His arms tighten around me and he deepens the kiss.

“Mmmm coming home to you is like walking into heaven.” He leans in to kiss me again.

My stomach rumbles and we both laugh. He lets me go and I fill our plates.

“How was your day?” I ask after eating in silence for a few minutes.

“It was good. Yours?” I leave out all of the wedding shopping and me getting sick again.

He looks to me and waits like he already knows and I curse Joslynn and her big mouth.

“You know we don’t have to have a huge wedding just something simple will be fine. At the end all I want is to be able to say you are my wife,” he tells me.

“So I can just wear my pajamas?” I ask giggling.

“Sure!” he snickers.

We eat the rest of dinner with small talk about the day at the shop and wedding plans. It’s so much easier to plan it now that I know what he wants and how things can go.

“I stopped by the restaurant on my way home – things are coming along really well. I think you and Joslynn will be up and going by the end of next month.” Trevor fills me in.

I smile and bounce in my seat. “I can’t wait.”

Trevor takes both of our plates to the sink and walks back to me and holds out his hand. The feeling of his hand wrapped around mine is the best feeling in the world. He leads us to the living room to the couch. The day has been so exhausting that as soon as I am laying in his arms my eyes grow heavy. The sound of his heartbeat and the movement of his chest is enough to pull me in to a deep sleep.

***

I wake as soon as the sun starts to shine through the windows of the living room. Trevor and I both fell asleep on the couch. My body is stiff as I stretch out and moan. His phone starts to ring and he lifts his hips pulling it out of his pocket. As soon as he moves my stomach rolls, and I have to jump up and run to the bathroom.

Just like each time before as soon as I make it in the door I fall to the floor and lean over – expelling everything from the night before. I can feel Trevor behind me before I turn my head and look in his direction the phone still to his ear.

“Yeah, she’s fine. I’ll let her know.” He hangs up his phone and lays it on the counter handing me a wet rag.

My whole body feels sticky and wet with sweat.

“How many times does that make you getting sick, baby?” he asks taking the rag and turning on the water in the bathtub.

I close my eyes and lean back against the wall not being able to find the energy to move any further.

“Three.”

He leans in, slips my shirt over my head – throwing it to the floor – and lifts me up to take off my pants and socks. When he has removed all of my clothes, he lifts me up and sets me in the water.

“I am calling the doctor.”

“No, babe, it’s probably nothing, just a cold or something.”

He shakes his head and walks out the door grabbing his phone on the way. I know that there is no point arguing with him. Once he has his mind set to do something he will do it and nothing will stop him. So I just lay my head against the back of the tub.

“You go in tomorrow,” he informs me while walking back in to the bathroom.

“How the hell did you get an appointment that fast? Never mind don’t answer that I am going to kick her ass!” I should have known he would call her and have her make me an appointment the second he walked out the door. That was one of the downfalls of being engaged to your best friend’s husband’s brother. I dry off and step out of the bathroom, walking past Trevor. I know it is wrong for me to be mad but the fact that the appointment was being made without me knowing makes me a little upset.

I walk to the room and slam the door grabbing my phone off the dresser and dial Joslynn’s number.

“Hello?”

“It would be nice if you two would let me do things on my own.”

“One of these days. I’ll see you tomorrow bright and early!” I can tell from the sound of her voice she is laughing.

I growl under my breath and hang up the phone.

“That was kind of hot!” Trevor states behind me and causes me to jump.

He wraps his arms around me and kisses each of my cheeks then my nose and forehead finally making his way to my lips. He deepens the kiss and sweeps his tongue in my mouth, and I moan. He picks me up and I wrap my legs around him until he leans over the bed. When he pulls back he grabs each side of the towel and pulls it open. His mouth trails from my neck to my chest, and he pulls my nipple into his mouth brushing it lightly with his teeth. He pushes his shorts down and slides inside of me. My hips lift off the bed and I close my eyes and moan.

“Your moans are like fuel, Taylor. The more you moan the faster I want to go.”

He grabs my wrists and he lifts them over my head. I look between us and watch as he moves in and out of me. His grip on my wrists tightens and his pace speeds up. It feels like each time with Trevor is the first time. He fits inside of me like the missing link to my puzzle.

He kisses me, catching each moan. His hands never letting go of my wrists. When he leans back his eyes connect with mine. Before I can beg it not to my orgasm hits and I am yelling Trevor’s name to the rooftops.

His orgasm follows mine and he lays down beside me, both of us trying to catch our breath.

“I just want to make sure you’re okay,” he says after a few seconds of silence.

I turn my head and look to him feeling bad that I was mad at him and Jos too.

“I know.”

I run my hands through his hair and watch as he shuts his eyes each time.

“Then try not to be too mean to Joslynn tomorrow when she takes you to the doctor.”

“Fine,” I relent.

“Good now that’s out of the way, why don’t you get some rest?”

“I feel fine now.” I poke out my bottom lip.

Trevor rolled out of the bed and pops me on the hip on his way to the bathroom.

“Rest.”

He walks into the bathroom and shuts the door behind him and soon after I hear the shower turn on.

Chapter Eight

The rest of the day I lay in bed and read while Trevor treats me as if I get out of bed I will fall apart. Each time he asks if I am okay or offers me food I smile. I love that even as tough and tattooed as he looks he has no problem getting on his hands and knees by the bed to feed me even though I can feed myself. Once it’s time for bed, he is out within seconds.

I curl up on my side and wrap my arms around him.

Before I know it my alarm is going off. I jump out of bed and run to the shower before Trevor wakes up. My stomach is in knots and I pull my blonde hair up and tie it in a ponytail wasting no time on makeup. I want to go to the doctor so they can tell them I had an upset stomach and go on about life.

I have a wedding to plan and a restaurant to get off the ground. A little stomach bug here and there is not going to slow me down.

“Baby, Jos is here!” Trevor yells from the kitchen.

“Coming!” I run out of the bedroom and grab my coffee on the way out the door kissing Trevor.

“Hey,” Joslynn greets me as I climb into the passenger seat.

“Y’all do know I can drive right?” I point out.

Joslynn winks and turns up the radio to block out my bitching she knows will follow us to the doctor's office.

As soon as we pull up it feels like there is a case of butterflies in my stomach wanting out.

“Come on,” Joslynn demands.

I shake off the nerves and walk through the doors. The doctor's office is set up like any other. The nurses are smiling and busying themselves. I sign in and wait for the papers I need to fill out. The whole time I am filling them out my hands are shaking and I hope they can read it. I haven’t been to a doctor’s office since I left rehab and had no intentions of finding my way back into one.

“Taylor?” the pretty brown headed nurse says at the door holding a clipboard.

“This you can do on your own.” Joslynn smiles at me.

I shake my head and follow the nurse down the hall.

“My name’s Mandy. Let’s get your weight and we will get you in a room and find out what’s going on,” she adds and points to the scales for me to step on.

I feel like a child as I watch her move the brackets until they are even and she jots down my weight on her piece of paper. I follow her down another hall until she opens a door and motions for me to walk inside.

“So what’s going on?” She looks at me attentively.

“To be honest, I have an over reactive fiancé and best friend. I have gotten sick three times and they think something is wrong,” I convey and shrug my shoulders.

She jots down more words on her notepad and then takes my blood pressure and then jots more things down. Each time makes me more and more nervous. I don’t like not being able to see what she is writing. It feels like walking into a room full of people talking and all of them stopping as soon as they see you.

“Okay can you go to the restroom and give us a urine sample? Just leave it on the counter outside the restroom when you’re done and I will get it. Then take your clothes off and put this on. Dr. Moon will be with you soon,” she explains then hands me a cup.

All of this feels like a whirlwind as I go through the motions of each thing she has asked me to do. Once I am in the paper gown I sit on the sterile bed and swing my legs back and forth letting the feeling of being a kid overwhelm me.

I hear a knock on the door and soon a man with gray hair and glasses walks in. He walks to the bed and holds out his hand for me to shake.

“Nice to meet you I am Dr. Moon.”

“Taylor,” I respond.

He sits on his spinning chair and reads through my file asking many questions. Some making sense and others making me more nervous than I was when I first walked in. The nurse peeks her head in the door and hands the doctor some papers and shuts the door behind her. Again, I feel like I am in a room full of people who are talking about me as he looks over the papers and writes a few things in my file and then turns his attention back to me.

“It says here you have gotten sick at least three different times?”

“Yep.”

“How long have you been engaged?”

I scrunch my nose at his question for a few seconds and he smiles.

“I have a thorough nurse.”

The words I said earlier come to mind and I shake my head.

“We have been together for seven months. Engaged for about three days.”

“Congratulations on both then,” he offers and hands me a piece of paper.

A lot of it doesn’t make sense except for two words that pop out from the paper at me and I feel like my whole world stops spinning. The room instead has taken its place and my whole body is sweating. I can’t be! This is all happening out of order.

I fake a smile for the doctor and hand the paper back to him.

“Mandy will give you a list of good OB/GYN doctors and you can make an appointment there to find out how both you and the baby are.” He smiles again and stands and walks out of the room.

Mandy leaves the room and I change back into my clothes – my body shaking as I do so. As soon as I have my clothes back on she walks back in the room and hands me a piece of paper with a list of doctor’s names and phone numbers on it. I know one of them from when Joslynn had lil man but I never thought I would need to use her for myself.

How am I supposed to tell Trevor that we are going to have a baby? I know that our lives haven't gone in the natural order of things but being pregnant before I am married is one of them I hoped I could skip. I want to make sure Sunshine’s was up and running and we had time to be newlyweds before all of this happened. I walk out of the room feeling I like I am in another world knowing that as soon as I walk out the door Joslynn is going to want to know what he said even though she probably already knows.

She stands when I walk out the door and I hand her the paper in my hand and walk out the door. Not the best way to tell her but it’s the only way I can form an answer at the moment. I hear her shoes clicking on the ground behind me as she follows me to the car.

Neither of us says a word for a while. I feel like I am on the edge of a breakdown and at the slightest shift, I will tumble over with no end in sight.

“What the hell am I supposed to do now Jos?” I ask.

“Be a mom,” she responds and pats my leg.

We have been friends for so long that sometimes even the smallest answer from her is the best. She drives me home and I walk through the door and straight to the couch. I can hear Trevor in the shower. I should have known he would wait until I got home before he went to the tattoo shop. I wanted at least a few hours to form the words before I had to say them. A few hours to form the response to each of his reactions he may choose.

He walks out of our room and stops in the living room when he sees me sitting on the couch.

“Well? Are you okay? Was it just a stomach bug?”

“Trevor… I am… uh…”

“What, Tay, what’s wrong you’re scaring me!” He sits down beside me and pulls my hands in his.

“We are… Oh God, Trevor, I am pregnant,” I blurt it out and watch as his eyes fall to the floor and he lets go of my hands.

His eyes scan the room as if he is looking for something to save him and I feel right then I have ended his life. I have taken all his dreams and hopes for the future and burned them. I take a deep breath to hold in the tears and stand from the couch. From the look on his face I know there is nothing else to be said.

As soon as I make it to his side he grabs my arm.

“Where are you going?” The tears now falling down his face he was trying so hard to hold in.

“I need to shower and you need to work.” I try to pull my arm from his and he tightens his grip shaking his head.

“That’s all? You tell me we are having a baby and then you go shower?”

“From the look on your face that is not the news you wanted to hear. There is nothing else left for us to say.”

“I’m sorry, baby, I am happy, I just don’t… don’t know what to say… how to react.”

“It’s fine.” I pull my arm from his and walk to the shower.

From the time I was a child I thought about how I wanted my life to go, what I wanted to be when I grew up. But I have come to realize that some dreams are just that, dreams. It feels like dreaming is where you go to make your life what you want it to be and then when you wake up its back to reality back to the things you were dealing with when you laid down.

I step in the shower and let the water wash over me. Sliding down the wall, I let my tears mix in with the water and watch them go down the drain. I know that this is not the order of how I wanted things to go but this is how they are going.

I hear the door close and try to wipe the tears. I turn the water off and pull back the shower curtain. Trevor is sitting on the floor with his back against the door.

“I am so sorry, baby.” He apologizes and slowly lifts his eyes to mine.

“I know.”

“We are going to be parents… Wow.” He declares.

I see the corners of his mouth turn up and my heart melts. Maybe I didn’t end his life, maybe just maybe, I have given him life. Given him a reason to live more than just myself.