Rewired (The Progress Series) (26 page)

I ignored my teary eyes, feeling silly about the pure joy I was experiencing. “Yes, Jess. I’m very happy.”

After twenty minutes, Jesse put on his jacket. “I gotta go. But I wanted to ask you about this book.”

“Yeah. The book. Well, I don’t have much to go on, just a few old journal entries and what my memory has retained. But, not only did I want to get your permission, but I was hoping you’d help me with it.” I winced, hoping he wouldn’t start yelling at me. You just never know about those triggers of his.

“Why do you need my permission?” He laughed.

“Well, there’s some pretty personal stuff I’d have to write about.”
Obviously!

He shrugged. “Then call it fiction and change my name. Unfortunately I don’t know how much help I could be; you know my memory.”

“Well, there’s nothing like jogging the memory than reliving the past, right?”

He nodded and stood, smiling. “Does this mean I get to see you again?”

I smiled. “You bet your ass it does.”

He took a step toward the door and turned back. “What are you going to call it?”

I flashed a devilish grin and met his prying eyes. “I was thinking…
Progress
.”

Quickly laughing he said, “Fitting.” He took a step toward me and raised his eyebrow. “When do we get started?”

I leaned back in my seat with an appreciative sigh.

A Letter to the Reader
from Jess

Hi guys. It’s me, Jess. I’m sure you have a million not so favorable things you’d like to say to me right now. But just wait. I have a few things I’d like to explain.

I walked away from Charlie forever that day. And I think that both you and I know it was the right thing to do. My apologies to you if you thought I should’ve realized it sooner. But if you’ve read this far, you know how blind I can be.

It had been almost a decade since I’d heard from her until she contacted me about wanting to tell people our story.

Neither of us had the proper recollection needed to tell the story fluidly. But that’s the way the mind works. Memories shift and twist.
We forget the details and the things in between, but we retain the moments that impact us the most.

Everyone fights a battle of which we know nothing about. Charlie was the first for me. The first to love me without judgment.  The first to accept me without fear. The first to stay. There are some souls that are born strong. Those are the lucky ones. And then there are those of us who gain our strength through the shit-storm of chaos that our lives throw at us. I continue to fight a war that rages in my mind; a never-ending string of thoughts, moods, and exhausting memories. But I am now a fighter. I am now a survivor. I consider myself a victim, but have chosen to rise above it and arm myself with the thought of becoming a better man than I was yesterday.

I couldn’t have gotten to this point if it weren’t for Charlie. Because I wasn’t born strong, I
was forced to
become
strong. But my beautiful Charlie was both. She was my mother when I needed unconditional love, my friend when I needed someone to talk to, and my lover for all the times I needed to feel someone close without any intentions of letting go.

She will forever be inside of me. She was the one who fought
for
me and who continues fighting from within me today.

I’m not asking for your forgiveness in my behavior. No one could ask that after witnessing what I did to her. But if you’re still reading this, then you can say you’ve walked a mile in my shoes. And that’s all I ask.

“Think occasionally of the suffering of which you spare yourself the sight.”

–
       
Albert Schweitzer

We thank you for reading.

Much Love,

Jess

This has been a crazy ride. I had no idea what I was getting myself into when I began writing
Progress
last year. There have been just as many real-life twists and turns in this adventure as there were in all three books, and I am proud to say…I’m still breathing.
Barely.

I don’t know if I’ll continue writing after this, I don’t know if anyone is reading my work, I don’t know if this is what I want to be when I finally grow up…but let me tell you what I
do
know:

I had never been a reader when I began writing. Sure I’d read a few books here and there, but I had no idea of the kind of community that exists in the literary world. And you all are absolutely wonderful. The negative, the positive, and everyone in between. But if you’ve read this far, I just wanted to thank you for taking this ride with me. And what I’ve found in
you
has amazed me, shocked me, startled me, amused me, humbled me, and floored me. Every one of you is unique, and I appreciate every word you’ve written about my work. So most of all, I need to thank you: the person reading these words right now.

I’m also ecstatic beyond belief about the friendships that I’ve made on this joyride.

First, to
Claire C Riley
(author of
Limerence
and
Odium
): I adore you! You are just the no-bullshit, frank, caring, thoughtful and sincere person I needed to tell me the truth about my stories. I need to give you the credit for making Jesse more likeable (loveable) – because without you, he would’ve just been a jackass. And without you, I would’ve never survived the real-life rollercoaster.

To
Missy Johnson
(author of
So Many Reasons Why
and
Seduce
): My kindred sister… I wish you didn’t live in Australia, because I would be hanging out with you constantly! You’d probably have to tell me to go away at some point. Ha! But seriously, you are the kind of person the literary world needs, because not only are you completely devoted to your craft – spending sleepless nights promoting, writing, and determined to tell stories that people love – but also because of your warm heart and generosity. You are truly one of a kind.

To
an author who wishes to remain anonymous
(but I have grown to appreciate and respect her and her work): You know who you are. And I can say without a doubt that without your support and constant positive reinforcement, I wouldn’t have continued this journey.

To
Beth Rinyu
(author of
An Unplanned Lesson
and
The Exception to the Rule
): Beth! You. Are. The. Best. Ever. If you don’t know Beth, or haven’t had the privilege of reading her work, I just want to tell you that she is probably the nicest and sweetest person you’ll ever meet. She’s just as precious in real life as her many unparalleled characters. You can’t help but love her to death and want to give her a big squeeze!

To
Kaitlyn Oruska
(author of The Haven Series): Kaitlyn posted a thread on Goodreads asking to review realistic fiction. This was before I published
Interrupted
and I was still hesitant in promoting my work. But I gave it a shot. What has happened with my confidence and desire to succeed since Kaitlyn reviewed
Progress
has driven me to be the best writer I can. She showed me that every voice in this industry should be appreciated for what it is: art. And
that
is one of the most beautiful things an author can determine about their own work – that everyone has a voice, and everyone has someone listening.

And lastly, to
Amy Jackson
(my editor): As much as I’d like to claim I’m a writer, I have no words to describe what you mean to me. As I sit here, tears are welling in my eyes for the amount of respect and appreciation I have for you – not only as a person, but also as a friend and someone who is a freak about the written word. I would’ve never gotten
Progress
off the ground if it weren’t for you, and I realize now that I owe you an apology. Who knew that editors not only get paid, but also usually only go through one draft? Hmph. Not me! Thank you for the countless hours, the frustration, motivations, developments, trials and errors, and devotion you’ve put into this series. You’ve always been one of my favorite people, and you always will be.

There are also people I’d like to thank individually for putting up with each and every draft I made them read. Each one of the people listed below not only contributed to the stories, but gave me unique feedback and allowed Charlie, Sam, and Jesse to be who they were meant to be:

Paris Botoon

Kellie Paquette

Sara Kelly Skow

Elizabeth Gustafson

Jessy Walker

Karalee Vigstol

Albina Izmaylova

Angeleen Freeman

Laura Southwick

Dawn Hennessy Ravn

Jackee Spriggs

Tracy Loomis

Maureen Queau

Giselle Queau

Emily Madden

Nicole Beuthien

Sarah Papineau

Tou Yang

Scott Folke

Stacy Johnson

Karen Johnson

Mercy Cortez

Jessi Fraser

Frost

Giza Sangria

Debra Cooper

Julie Factor

Jolene Factor

Matt Leonetti

Tony Rauch

And lastly, thanks to the following groups/organizations:

RX Bandits – god I love you guys.

The Burnsville, Minnesota Police Department