Rexanne Becnel (30 page)

Outside the sun shone despite the chill of the early December weather, and she longed more than ever to be away from the stuffy solar. Whether it was the close atmosphere or the company or the enforced lethargy she detested most she could not decide. But she knew that if she did not get out to walk, or ride, or whatever, she would surely scream.

The thought of Corbett’s anger should he learn of her disobedience caused her to hesitate. But then she became even more determined to get outside. After all, he went to and fro quite freely. Why shouldn’t she, a woman accustomed to the outdoors and the freedom to roam the countryside at will? Why shouldn’t she be allowed at least some brief reprieve from the closeness of castle life?

Convinced, she quietly slipped from the room and hurried down the much chillier hallway. Besides, she rationalized as she made good her escape, Corbett would never know. He had gone to see about some ship and would be away until the evening. She would be back long before then, and who would notice her absence, let alone mention it to him?

When she stepped into the sunshine, Lilliane felt an enormous relief. It was bitterly cold despite the deceptive sunshine, but she was dressed in a neat caddis work gown, a warm sarzil mantle, and a knitted woolen hood. She paused once she’d crossed the bridge and approached the gardens along the river, and took a deep breath of air.

The smells were so different here, she thought. No pungent forest odors or fresh scent of mountains. In London the smell of smoke from a thousand hearths drowned out all the other smells. Although it was not truly unpleasant, she still could not help but miss Orrick. Magda would have the household tasks well in hand by now. Bread would be baking; a large pig or hind would be turning upon the spit. Or perhaps she had a stew bubbling in the big iron pot. Ferga would be with little Elyse, seeing to the tiny baby’s every need. Thomas … Thomas, she realized, would be dreadfully lost now that her father was gone. Oh, how she wished she could be with him right now.

Lilliane walked slowly along the gravel path until she came to a wooden garden bench. In spring it faced a green lawn flanked with rose vines, but now it looked over a faded and desolate yard. With a heavy sigh she sat down and stared unseeingly at the barren garden.

A part of her must have heard the crunch of approaching footsteps, but it wasn’t until a familiar voice hailed her that her sad thoughts were brought up short.

“Why, Lilliane, you must be half to frozen!” Before she could respond, William had seated himself next to her and took her chilled hands between his own gloved palms.

“Whatever are you doing out here alone without even a maid or a page to see to your needs?” he admonished.

It occurred to her that Corbett would be terribly displeased to find William in London, but for the moment, at least, she was happy to see a familiar face. “I’ve no needs to be seen to.” She laughed, her mood lifting somewhat. “But tell me, what brings you to London?”

“I’ve business matters that need my attention,” he answered noncommittally. Then he squeezed her hands more tightly. “But I would hear more about you. Have you enjoyed court? It appears your new husband neglects you already.”

“Corbett does not neglect me,” Lilliane stated quite firmly. “He also has business matters to attend. Besides, he knows I am safe here within the reach of the royal guards.”

For a moment William did not reply. His blue eyes seemed to take in every aspect of her appearance, although she could not have defined his expression. At once wistful and cunning, she knew his eyes hid a myriad of confusing emotions.

But her own emotions were not confused any longer. She knew her loyalty must be with her husband; certainly her heart was beginning to be well attached to him. William must banish thoughts of any feeling save friendship between the two of them now.

Lilliane was set on making him understand just that when he released her hands and looked at her most seriously. “Yes. You are safe enough here, Lilliane. But even within the royal residence there are those who may not be trusted. I have no doubt your husband is concerned with your safety. I hope, however, that my equal concern will not be misinterpreted by him. Nor by you.”

She was much relieved by his conciliatory little speech. “Oh, William. I am grateful for your concern. Never think I am not. It has been so difficult for me when the two men I care most deeply for are at such odds with one another.”

“He is a suspicious man. In that he is much like his brother.”

“Yes. He’s very jealous,” she admitted. “But although I know very little of Hughe, I see few similarities between the two of them. Are you well acquainted with the family of Colchester?”

William leaned back. “Their father was an impossible taskmaster. But although he and Hughe disagreed on many things, Hughe held his tongue. Once Colchester was his, however, he changed everything. Corbett, as do most second sons, always sought his father’s approval. He would be the best warrior, the best at his letters, the first to volunteer for a task.” William grinned mockingly. “My own brother Albert was much the same. As if he might at least gain a larger portion from my father by winning his affection, for the inheritance was already mine. So it was with Hughe and Corbett. But now that Corbett is settled at Orrick, I think Hughe is none too pleased.” William’s gaze narrowed thoughtfully. “Does Corbett speak of his brother or of Colchester?”

Lilliane hesitated. She had been much concerned by Corbett’s close attention to all of his brother’s affairs. Although he was subtle in his observations, and he never brought Hughe’s name up in conversation, she knew somehow that it was Hughe’s presence in London that had prompted their journey. Still, it would be wrong of her to reveal such thoughts.

“He talks fondly of Colchester,” she finally replied. “But he and his brother have only infrequent contact. Do you see Hughe often?” she added, trying to steer the conversation away from Corbett.

“We supped just last night—” William stopped abruptly, then he slowly continued in a more offhand manner. “No doubt we may see him again this very evening in the council chambers.”

“No doubt,” she agreed. Then she stood up and pulled her mantle closer about her shoulders. “My, but it is colder than ever.”

With that hint William stood up as well. He did not notice the neatly folded parchment that fell from his girdle, but Lilliane did. When she stooped to retrieve it for him, she saw that the paper bore the symbols of Normandy. She could not help but remark on it.

“You have lost this letter, William. Do you correspond with Normandy now? Have you business concerns so very far away?”

At the surprised respect on her face, William beamed. “Not business in the most common sense. But I do hear regularly from my cousin in the king’s entourage.”

“Oh, and how does the king? When shall he return?” she asked eagerly. She’d never met old King Henry, but she had high hopes now of meeting King Edward some day. She noticed the small pleased smile that lifted William’s lips at her questions, but she did not place any great importance on it.

“Actually, I believe he does rather poorly. His health is tenuous at best.” When her eyes widened in concern, however, he added, “But my cousin is his physician, and he will no doubt see Edward well tended. Now tell me how you’ve spent your time in London.”

Lilliane would rather have heard news of Orrick, which she missed sorely. But she realized that if she spent too much time with William, Corbett would surely hear of it. Besides, she thought, perhaps William’s new attitude would appease her husband. If she could just get the two men to discuss Orrick or any other neutral topic in a noncombative mood.

Nonetheless, as William escorted her back within the walled compound, she decided it would be wisest for her not to mention their brief, accidental meeting. Corbett was too suspicious and jealous. No need for her to fan such flames further.

To Lilliane’s relief, Corbett was in a most jubilant mood when he returned from the docks. She had just finished her bath and was dressed only in her light kirtle when he entered the chamber. On seeing her he dropped his leather satchel and leaned against the stout door frame.

“Ah, my lovely Lily. What a feast you are for the eyes.” A wolfish light gleamed in those very eyes then and an appreciative grin spread across his face.

Lilliane blushed a pretty pink at his words, for she was still not accustomed to such casual intimacy between them, even in their private chambers. “I-I’m sorry I am so late in dressing …” She signaled to the silent maid who quickly helped her step into a rich, peach-hued gown of Tartaryn linen. Corbett did not voice objection as she made herself presentable, and Lilliane was dismayed by the small prick of disappointment this roused in her. Did she expect him to seduce her every time they were alone? Why, she was becoming quite wanton in the desire she felt for her virile husband! There was certainly a better time for what she wanted of him than such an early hour as this!

Still, no amount of self-berating could stifle the sweet longing she felt for him so long as he was watching her with that dark, unsettling gaze of his. It was only when she removed her precious necklace from its velvet purse that he waved the maid from the room. Then he approached Lilliane.

“You smell as delicious as you look,” he murmured as he gently pushed her long, thick hair aside. When he fastened the jewels at her neck, every touch of his fingers sent heated tingles shooting through her.

“I hate having to share you with anyone tonight,” he added. Then he pressed a sensuous kiss to the nape of her neck.

“Must we go to the council chambers tonight?” Lilliane breathed as she let herself sway against his solid form. For a moment she thought he might agree with her, for he gathered her in his powerful arms as if he would never let her go. Then she felt his slow sigh.

“Tonight I must be there.” Then, at her own sigh of disappointment, he added, “But if all goes well tonight, tomorrow we shall depart for Orrick.”

Lilliane’s complete delight with that news carried her happily through the evening. If anyone had doubted the contented state of affairs between Lord Corbett and his exquisite wife, this night convinced them otherwise. He was never far from her side, though he spoke with any number of lords during the long evening hours. Her merry laugh was always in his ear, her lilting voice ever within his conscious awareness though he may have addressed another. His eyes constantly wandered toward her.

For Lilliane’s part, she did not stray far from Corbett, though she shared conversation with lords and ladies alike. She felt as if she were floating with happiness, and nothing would stifle that lovely feeling. When she had a few moments to herself, she tried to understand her strange jubilance. Certainly she was happy they would be departing for Orrick on the morrow. She’d longed for that almost since they’d arrived in London. It was odd, though, that on the eve of her departure she was finally enjoying one of these normally difficult evenings.

Perhaps she was enjoying herself simply because she was happy, she thought. But it was more than their imminent departure that had settled this effervescent mood upon her. Once more her eyes sought Corbett, only to find his turbulent gaze already on her. He was standing a little distance from her, speaking to the archbishop of York. Yet despite the other man’s animated discourse, Lilliane knew Corbett’s thoughts were on her. That knowledge sent a sweet, secret thrill through her. Who would have thought she could ever be this happy with him? For a moment her eyes misted as she recalled how adamantly her dear father had stood by his decision for the two of them to wed. She had fought him every step of the way, yet if she had been successful in her flight to Burgram Abbey that terrible night, where would she be now?

Being courted by William.

It was an abrupt realization, and a distasteful one as well. Her other choice would have been to spend the balance of her days at the abbey or as the spinster sister under the watchful eye of her brother-in-law Aldis, which was equally unpalatable. With a tiny shudder she sent a grateful prayer aloft. Then her eyes refocused on Corbett and her lips curved in a contented smile. At once he ended his conversation with the mighty archbishop and crossed to her side.

“You must cease such enticement,” he murmured for her ears only.

Lilliane laughed at that. “Am I enticing you, then? I thought I was merely gazing at my husband. Would you prefer that I did not?”

“What I would prefer …” His thumb ran tenderly down the slope of her cheek then lightly caressed her lower lip. It was only with great effort that he forced his hand away from her. “What I would prefer,” he whispered huskily, “is to know what thoughts … what emotions you hide behind those innocent amber eyes.”

For a moment she considered his words, pondering also just what those emotions were. Then in a sudden moment of clarity she knew.

She loved him.

It was not just respect. Nor desire. It was far more intense than either of those emotions, and the very knowledge left her awestruck. At some point in their difficult, turbulent marriage she had fallen deeply and completely in love with her husband.

It was something she’d never expected, and the truth of it was almost too incredible to believe.
She loved him.

But how was she to reveal such emotions to a man whose own feelings were an enigma to her? For a moment longer she stared into his smoky gray eyes before she lowered her gaze in confusion. She was far too transparent with her feelings while he hid everything too well.

“I am happy,” she admitted a little breathlessly. Then she bravely looked back up at him. “Aren’t you?”

“Yes.”

One short sweet word and yet it meant more to Lilliane than even she could have expected. He was happy with her. She had thought as much, but his easy admission was welcome confirmation. She could not speak for the giddy emotions that filled her. But her tremulous smile and glistening eyes revealed her inner feelings.

Clearly pleased, Corbett bent near and whispered softly, “How tempting you look, my Lily. It takes all my willpower to avoid whisking you up those stairs right this moment to a more private place.”