Rich People Problems (25 page)

“Send him in. I thought he was going to be here last week.”

Astrid got up from her chair and was about to head for the dressing room when her grandmother said, “Wait a minute.”

Astrid stopped in her tracks and turned around. “Yes?”

“Is his wife here as well?” Su Yi asked.

“No, it's just him.” Astrid paused for a second, anticipating another question from her grandmother. But Su Yi was now fidgeting with the bed controls, raising the incline of her bed to the exact angle she wanted. Astrid proceeded to the balcony, where she found Nick sitting pensively at the wrought-iron table.

“Is she awake?” he asked.

“Yes.”

“How is she?”

“She's okay. A lot better than I was expecting, actually. Come on, your turn.”

“Um…she really wants to see me?” Nick asked trepidatiously.

Astrid smiled at her cousin. For a moment he looked like he was six years old again. “Don't be ridiculous. Of course. She's ready for you now.”

*1
Declared a
UNESCO
World Heritage Site in 2015, the Singapore Botanic Gardens is cherished by locals in the same way Central Park is by New Yorkers or Hyde Park is by Londoners. A verdant oasis in the middle of the island filled with amazing botanical specimens, colonial-era pavilions, and one of the most amazing orchid collections on the planet, it's no wonder that so many Singaporeans want to have a tiny bit of their ashes scattered here. In secret, of course, since it's highly illegal. (No one escapes the law in Singapore, not even the dead.)

*2
If you read
China Rich Girlfriend
, you'd already know what a
pontianak
is. But just in case you haven't (and why the hell haven't you?), allow Dr. Sandi Tan, the world's foremost pontianakologist, to elucidate you: “A tropical female vampire-slash-dryad combo, often assuming the form of a comely, sarong-draped maiden, who inhabits the darker corners of the Southeast Asian jungle. Her metamorphosis into her true form will reveal: putrefying gray flesh, mucho teeth, many claws, accompanying unpleasant odors. Her traditional prey is the unborn fetus of a pregnant woman, consumed in situ, though during severe hunger pangs, any living person—even flatulent, stringy grandpas—would suffice. She can be summoned by tying a white string between two adjacent banana trees and intoning a chant of your own choosing, but she is more than capable of being an independent operator. Must not be confused with her inelegant country cousins, also female bloodsuckers, the
penanggalan
(bodiless flying she-demon with long, unwashed hair and a meaty chandelier of entrails) and the
pelesit
(an all-purpose slave, horrendously and pathetically devoted to her conjuror, with no agency of her own).”

CHANGI AIRPORT, SINGAPORE

Oliver had just boarded his flight to London and was in the process of stealing an extra pillow from the seat behind him when Kitty called.

“Morning, Kitty,” he said cheerily, steeling himself for the barrage he knew was about to come. “Did you sleep well?”

“Are you fucking kidding me? That was the worst night of my entire life!”

“I know several billion people who would have happily traded places with you, Kitty. You got to attend one of Yolanda Amanjiwo's legendary dinners. The world's most acclaimed chef prepared a twelve-course tasting menu for you. Did you not enjoy that? I thought the langoustines were superb—”

“Ugh! That so-called genius chef from that de la cellar place should be locked in his own cellar and they should throw away the key!”

“Come on, aren't you being a bit harsh? Just because you don't appreciate deconstructed surrealist Catalan fusion cuisine doesn't mean you should sentence him to the gallows. I could have eaten ten more plates of that
jamón ibérico
flash-frozen fried rice.”

“How could I possibly appreciate the food when I was being tortured? I've never been more humiliated in my life!” Kitty seethed.

“I don't know what you mean, Kitty,” Oliver said lightly as he took the stack of in-flight magazines out of the seat pocket and shoved them into the pocket adjacent to him before the passenger arrived. Anything for the extra legroom.

“Everybody at the dinner curtsied to Colette! That snotty Swedish ambassador guy next to me glared at me when I didn't move, but I'll be damned if I curtsy to my own stepdaughter!”

“Well, Thorsten obviously did not know who you were. And Kitty, that whole curtsying thing was a complete farce. I don't know which edition of
Debrett's
Yolanda Amanjiwo is reading, but she was absolutely incorrect. A British earl does
not
have precedence over the First Lady of the country where he is nothing more than a visitor. They should have been bowing to
her
. But these Singaporeans are so awed by any
ang mor
with a two-bit title that they just bow and scrape away like subservient little toadies. I remember a time when the Countess of Mountbatten came to visit Tyersall Park, and Su Yi wouldn't even come downstairs to receive her!”

“You're missing the point. Everyone treated Colette like royalty all through the dinner. They were dressed like peasants and the people were still sucking up! That idiot on my right wouldn't even lift his fork until Colette lifted her fork. And then the minute she was done with her dinner, we all had to stop. That Carolina Herrera–perfumed flan was the first thing I was actually enjoying, but then dinner abruptly ended and the royal couple was off.”

“The last thing I thought I'd ever wanted to eat was a dessert that tasted like Carolina Herrera, but it was superb, wasn't it? Well, aren't you at least glad the dinner passed with no incident? Colette didn't try to insult you or cause a scene.”

“No, what she did was worse—she didn't even acknowledge my presence! And I'm married to her father! The man who pays all her bills even though she won't talk to him anymore! Do you know how hurt he feels? That ungrateful, spoiled little beast!”

“Kitty, I wouldn't take it so personally if I were you. There were thirty of us in that ghastly room, sixty if you count the ridiculous footmen, and Yolanda was dominating every minute of Lucien and Colette's time. Trust me, I was right opposite from them. You were on the other end of the table hidden behind those ridiculous birdcage centerpieces—I honestly don't think she even saw you.”

“Colette saw me, I can assure you. She doesn't miss a thing. Why was she even in Singapore anyway?”

“Lucien is an environmentalist, and they are going to be based in Singapore for the next month, that's all. They're on their way to Sumatra to observe the orangutan situation.”

“What orangutan situation?”

“Oh, it's quite a tragedy. Thousands of orangutans are dying because of deforestation in their natural habitats. Colette's become quite involved in orangutan orphan rescue.”

“That's what you talked about? There was no mention of me? Of her father?”

“Kitty, I can assure you that the only people that were mentioned by name happened to be orangutans.”

“So she doesn't know you and I have a connection?”

“She doesn't. But what would it matter anyway? Why didn't you just come over and say hi? Be the bigger person and welcome her to Singapore? That would have been the smart move,” Oliver said as he struggled to tuck his leather valise under the seat next to him.

“Hnh! I am her stepmother! She should introduce herself to
me
, not the other way around!”

“Wait a minute…are you saying you've never met Colette?” Oliver was genuinely shocked.

“Of course not! I told you, she hasn't seen her father since she found out about our affair. And she wouldn't come to the wedding. She hasn't set foot in China in more than two years. She told him that he…that he was marrying a whore.”

Oliver could hear the tears in her voice, and he began to see the situation in a whole new light. No wonder Kitty had been traumatized when Colette made her grand entrance last night. In China, Kitty had been eclipsed by Colette in absentia, and here in Singapore, she had been eclipsed again in an even more dramatic fashion. A flight attendant gestured to Oliver. “Kitty, my flight to London is about to take off now, so I have to put away my phone.”

“Oh really? I thought no one cared if you use your phone in first class.”

“Well, you don't know this, but I'm one of those aviation geeks that actually likes to watch the safety demonstration.”

“I didn't know you were off to London again. You should have told me—I would have lent you one of my planes.”

“That's very kind of you. Kitty, I'm going to spend the next fourteen hours on this flight coming up with a plan. I promise you, Colette will never humiliate you again.”

“You promise?”

“Absolutely. And look on the brighter side…you have so much to look forward to. Your
Tattle
cover is coming out next month. You will be an absolute sensation, I tell you! And you're besties with Yolanda Amanjiwo now. This is just the beginning for you, Kitty. Colette has to head back to some drafty old manor in England, while we are designing you the most spectacular house Singapore has ever seen.”

Kitty sighed. Oliver was right. There was so much to look forward to. She put down her phone and looked in the small gilt mirror that was given to her as a party favor last night. She did look a bit like Emma Watson, that actress who played Hermione Granger. And Oliver with his big round spectacles looked a bit like Harry Potter. Oliver really was a kind of wizard. And now he was going to wave his wand and bring even more magic into her life.

On the SQ 909 flight to London, Oliver turned off his phone and tucked it into the seat pocket. A flight attendant suddenly leaned into his row. “Excuse me? Is that an extra pillow I see? I'm afraid I'm going to need that,” she said with an apologetic smile.

“I'm sorry, I didn't even see it,” Oliver lied.

“And is that your leather bag? I'm also going to have to ask you to tuck it under your own seat. Make sure the straps are tucked in completely. We have a very full cabin here in economy class today,” the stewardess said.

“Oh, of course,” Oliver said, as he bent down to retrieve his bag, cursing silently. It was going to be a very long flight.

TYERSALL PARK, SINGAPORE

The morning light filtering through the windows made the mahogany art deco furniture in Su Yi's bedroom glow like amber, and Nick was shocked for a moment to see how tiny and frail his grandmother looked in the middle of her hospital bed, the machines clustered around her like an army of invading robots. It had been almost five years since he had seen her, and now a tremendous sense of remorse descended over him. How had he let so much time pass? He had lost five precious years because of a quarrel, because of his pride. As Nick approached her bed, he was temporarily at a loss for words.

Astrid stood by Nick's side for a moment, and then she announced in a gentle voice, “Ah Ma, here's Nicky.”

Su Yi opened her eyes and gazed up at her grandson.
Tien, ah. He looks more and more like his grandfather every day
, she thought to herself. “You look even handsomer than before. I'm glad you haven't put on any weight. Most men put on weight after they get married—look how bloated Eddie has become.”

Nick and Astrid both laughed a little, breaking the tension in the room. “I'll be back in a while,” Astrid said, quietly slipping out through the bedroom door. No sooner had she closed the door behind her than Professor Oon entered Su Yi's sitting room.

“Good morning, Professor Oon,” Astrid said cheerily, blocking his way.

The doctor was momentarily taken aback. It had been more than a week since he had seen Astrid, and he couldn't believe how she was dressed today. Holy Annabel Chong! She looked even sexier than he could have possibly imagined in this skater punk outfit and those bootylicious camouflage pants. It was better than any Japanese-schoolgirl porn site. Was she wearing a sports bra under that big hoodie? Her body was a work of God. Recovering himself, Professor Oon put on his blasé, clinical tone. “Ah, Astrid. Welcome back. I was just about to run the morning vitals on your grandmother.”

“Oh, don't you think that can wait for a moment? Why don't you give me an update first, since I've been away? Ah Ma seems rather well this morning. Could her condition be improving?”

Professor Oon frowned. “It's possible. We put her on a new cocktail of beta-blockers, and she's benefited from a sustained period of rest.”

“I'm soooo grateful for all you've done,” Astrid said warmly.

“Um, yah. After I look at her latest EKG, I'll be able to give you a more accurate prognosis.”

“Tell me, doctor, have you heard of a specialist at St. Luke's Medical Center in Houston named David Scott? Dr. Scott has developed an experimental new treatment for congestive heart disease,” Astrid continued, not letting him off the hook.

Wow, beauty and brains. A woman who can talk so seductively about heart disease
, Professor Oon thought. That damn Charlie Wu was one lucky prick. If only Astrid came from another family, if only she wasn't so bloody rich, she could be his mistress. He would set her up at his secret apartment at The Marq and watch her do laps, naked, in the pool all day.

Inside the bedroom, Nick was wondering what precisely to say to his grandmother. “
Nay ho ma?
”
^*1
he said, and then immediately wondered why he had asked her such a stupid question.

“I haven't been too well. But today I'm feeling better than I have in many weeks.”

“I'm so glad to hear that.” Nick crouched beside Su Yi and looked her squarely in the face. He knew that the moment had come for him to deliver his apology. As much as he had been hurt by her, and as much as he felt that she had wronged Rachel, he knew that it was his duty to ask for her forgiveness. He cleared his throat and began, “Ah Ma, I'm so sorry for the way I behaved. I hope that you can find it in your heart to forgive me.”

Su Yi looked away from her grandson and let out a long slow exhale. Nicky was home. Her dutiful grandson was by her side again, kneeling at her feet and asking for redemption. If only he knew how she truly felt. She was quiet for a few moments, and then she turned to face him again. “Are you comfortable in your bedroom?”

“My bedroom?” Nick asked, momentarily confused by her question.

“Yes, has it been made up nicely for you?”

“Um, I haven't been staying here. I've been at Colin's.”

“On Berrima Road?”

“No, Colin's family sold that house a few years ago. He's living in Sentosa Cove now.”

“Why on earth are you staying there and not here?”

It dawned on Nick at that moment that his grandmother didn't have a clue that he'd been back for over a week. She obviously had nothing to do with banning him from Tyersall Park! He wasn't sure what to say at first, but then quickly recovered himself. “There are so many people visiting at the moment, I didn't think there would be room for me.”

“Nonsense. No one is supposed to be in your bedroom.” Su Yi pushed a button beside her, and within a few seconds Madri and Patravadee were by her bedside.

“Please tell Ah Ling to have Nicky's rooms made up. I have no idea why he is staying at some godforsaken place instead of here,” Su Yi instructed her lady's maids.

“Of course, ma'am,” Madri replied.

At that moment, Nick realized that this was his grandmother's tacit manner of forgiving him. He felt suddenly lighter, as if a gigantic boulder had been lifted off his back.

As Su Yi's lady's maids stepped out of the bedroom, Adam and Piya walked into the sitting room and for a few seconds before the bedroom door closed saw their cousin Nick crouched by his grandmother's side.

Astrid waved from the settee where she was seated talking with Professor Oon. “Adam! It's so good to see you!”

“Oh Astrid, I'm sorry, I didn't see you over there. Piya, this is my cousin Astrid. She's Auntie Felicity's daughter.”

“I've heard so much about you,” Piya said with a smile.

“Was that Nicholas I saw in there with Ah Ma? We were just going to have a quick look-in before breakfast,” Adam said.

“Nicholas Young?” Professor Oon said in alarm. “He's in the bedroom? But we are under strict orders not to—”

“Francis, hold that thought for one minute,” Astrid said, placing her hand on his lap, her fingers almost grazing his inner thigh. The doctor trembled at her unexpected touch and immediately went mute. Astrid turned to Adam and Piya and said, “I'm sure Ah Ma would love to see you in a little while. She's doing much better this morning. Why don't you head down to breakfast first? I hear that Ah Ching is making her famous crepes.”

“Ooh, I do love a good crepe,” Piya said.

“Me too. And Ah Ching makes a special sauce of Belgian chocolate and Lyle's Golden Syrup to drizzle over them. Professor Oon, have you ever had chocolate-infused golden syrup drizzled over your crepes?”

“Er, no,” the doctor said, sweat beginning to bead around his temples.

“Well you must. In fact why don't you join us right now? Let's all go down for some crepes. I'm sure the whole family would love to have an update from you about Ah Ma,” Astrid said, getting up from the settee.

The three of them stood there, waiting for the doctor.

“Um, give me a minute,” Professor Oon said sheepishly. He knew that there was no way he could stand up at that moment.

Back in the bedroom, Su Yi had instructed Nick to go to the top drawer of her bureau and fetch something for her. “Do you see the pale blue box?”

“Yes.”

“At the bottom of the box are some silk pouches. Please bring me the yellow one.”

Nick unfastened the metal clasp on the blue embossed leather box and flipped open the lid. Inside was an assortment of objects and curiosities. Vintage tortoiseshell combs and coins of varying currencies mixed in with letters and faded old photographs. He came upon a small stack wrapped with a piece of ribbon and realized that it was every picture he had ever sent to her from his boarding-school days in England. At the bottom of the box were several jewelry pouches, the kind made of padded silk that one saw in Chinatown trinket shops all over the world. He found a small yellow pouch and returned to his grandmother's bedside.

Su Yi unzipped the pouch, took out a pair of earrings, and placed them in the palm of Nick's hand. “I want you to have these. For your wife.”

Nick felt a lump in his throat as he realized the enormous significance of her gift. His grandmother was acknowledging Rachel as his wife for the very first time. He glanced at the earrings in his palm. They were simple pearl studs set on old-fashioned gold posts, but the luminosity of each pearl was stunning—they seemed to glow from within. “Thank you, Ah Ma. I know Rachel will love these.”

Su Yi looked her grandson in the eye. “My father gave these to me when I escaped Singapore before the war, when the Japanese soldiers had finally reached Johor and we knew all was lost. They are very special. Please look after them carefully.”

“We will cherish them, Ah Ma.”

“Now, I think it's time for my morning pills. Will you call Madri and Patravadee in?”

In the breakfast room, Ah Ching had set up a cooking station at the end of the long dining table. Rather unusually, she eschewed the use of a crepe pan to make her beloved recipe. Instead, she cooked them on her trusty wok, expertly tilting and twisting the large black wok to create the perfect round thin pancakes.

Eddie had woken up Fiona and the kids for this special treat, and his mother, Victoria, Catherine, and Taksin were assembled in the room as well, eagerly awaiting their custom-made crepes.

“Can I have mine with some ham and cheese?” Taksin asked. “I prefer savory ones to sweet ones, especially in the morning.”

“Uncle Taksin, you're missing out if you don't try the fabulous sauce that Ah Ching makes,” Eddie said.

“I want mine with ice cream,” young Augustine said.

“Augie, you will eat them exactly as I instruct you to!” Eddie barked at his son.

Catherine exchanged glances with Alix, who simply rolled her eyes and shook her head.

As the family began tucking into the first round of crepes, Astrid entered the dining room with Adam, Piya, and Professor Oon.

“What are you doing here?” Eddie said, startled by his cousin's sudden appearance at the house. He thought she had been ordered to stay away by her parents since the India engagement scandal.

“I'm having crepes, just like you,” Astrid replied breezily.

“Well, I suppose
some of us
don't have any shame,” Eddie muttered under his breath.

Astrid chose to ignore her cousin and went over to greet her aunties with pecks on their cheeks. Victoria stiffened visibly as Astrid kissed her and asked, “How is your mother? I hear she's been bedridden for the past two days.” Implicit in her disapproving tone was that Astrid was the one responsible for making her mother sick.

“Considering the fact that she managed to play bridge for five hours yesterday with Mrs. Lee Yong Chien, Diana Yu, and Rosemary Yeh, I think she's doing just fine,” Astrid replied.

Alix wondered what the doctor was doing at their breakfast table, but ever well mannered, she smiled graciously at her old classmate and said, “Francis, how good of you to join us.”

“Er, Astrid insisted I try some of Ah Ching's famous pancakes.”

“You've been upstairs already?” Eddie said in alarm, wondering if she had told Ah Ma that Nicky was in town.

Astrid looked him straight in the eye. “Yes, I've spent a little time with Ah Ma. She wanted to see photos of my engagement, since she helped to plan it. Such a wonderful stroke of luck that there was someone there to capture the occasion.”

Eddie looked at her openmouthed.

“Congratulations on your engagement, Astrid,” Fiona said.

“Yes, congratulations,” Catherine and Alix both chimed merrily.

Victoria was the only aunt not to offer any wishes, turning instead to Professor Oon. “How is my mother faring this morning?”

“Well, I haven't had the chance to look in on her yet, as Nicholas is with her at the moment.”

“
WHAAAAT?
Are you telling me that Nicky is upstairs with my grandmother?” Eddie exclaimed loudly.

“Calm down, Eddie,” Fiona chided.

Astrid smiled sweetly at her cousin. “Precisely what is your issue with Nicky seeing Ah Ma? When did you become her bouncer?”

“He's been banned from the house!” Eddie said.

“Who banned him, exactly? Because if you ask me, Ah Ma was certainly quite overjoyed to see him a few minutes ago,” Astrid said, calmly pouring some of the chocolate golden syrup onto her crepe.

“Are you sure about that?” Victoria said indignantly.

“Yes, I was in the room when Ah Ma specifically requested to see him.”

Eddie shook his head angrily, bolting up from his chair. “If nobody is going to do anything about this, I am! Nicky's going to give her another heart attack!”

“Give
who
a heart attack?”

Eddie spun around to see his grandmother sitting in a wheelchair as Nick pushed her into the breakfast room. Trailing them were her oxygen tank and several other medical devices, dutifully being guided along by her Thai lady's maids. Behind them followed a cluster of nurses and the on-duty associate cardiologist.

“Mummy! What are you doing down here?” Victoria shrieked.

“What do you mean? I wanted to have breakfast in my own breakfast room. Nicky told me that Ah Ching was making her delicious crepes.”

The young associate looked at Professor Oon rather helplessly, but handed his boss several computer printouts. “Prof, she insisted on coming downstairs, but I managed to run some diagnostics first.”

Professor Oon scanned the morning's reports, his eyes widening. “My goodness…Bravo, Mrs. Young—I am amazed you are feeling so well this morning!”