Ride 'Em Cowgirl (11 page)

Rave Positions. Cowgirl: You’re in control of the thrusting, so you can limit the depth to your own comfort. Spooning: Your butt can act as a soft, natural buffer to prevent deep penetration without inhibiting pleasure. Standing: The vertical angle can also limit his penetration depth.

Too wet. The good news: You save money on sex lube! But too much self-lubrication can also create a feeling of looseness, which can lead to a loss of sensation. Try wiping yourselves with a soft washcloth before (and during) intercourse. You may also choose to bypass extended foreplay and enjoy the excitement of jump-right-into-it sex—before an abundance natural juices begin to flow.

Rave Positions. Any and all, with a soft washcloth or disposable wipe within easy reach.

Not wet enough. Dryness doesn’t necessarily mean you’re not aroused. Self-lubrication can also be hampered by estrogen levels, stress, time of the month, menopause, prescription drugs, cold remedies, certain birth control pills, alcohol, marijuana—even extended lovemaking. The solution? Sex lube—and not the icky institutional stuff, but a smooth, sensual, silky lube created exclusively for your pleasure. Try lube shooters (see page 200) for longer, deeper slipperiness.

Rave Positions. Any and all, with a bottle of sex lube within easy reach.

What if they designed a bed just for sex? How would it zig? How would it zag? And most importantly, how would you ever get out of it to go to work?

Every year, folks in the sextoy business turn out hundreds of new ways to buzz, twirl and shake your love life awake. Sexy playthings now come in every style, shape, texture and color for you to try in bed, out of bed, in public, with intercourse or anal play—even by remote control!

Gone are the days of creepy dismal downtown sex stores. Now you can get anything you want in private on the web, in friendly boutiques filled with colorful toys and slinky lingerie, or at fun-filled sextoy parties at a trusted friend’s house.

In fact, your choices today are so vast, the only challenge is knowing which products are designed to satisfy your own true desires.

Position Is Everything

To add variety, a lot more pleasure, and even a few shared laughs as you tumble naked toward ecstasy, why not add a body positioner or two into your bedroom repertoire?

Sex furniture. Designed to contour to your aroused bodies, these wedges, pillows, couches and chairs position you for new erotic angles and elevations. Without gravity to fight, and with ease of access guaranteed, you’re free to pursue pure orgasmic pleasures.

Swing sets. Go airborne! Just screw a sex swing securely into a doorframe or ceiling beam (or get a portable stand), and enjoy gravity-defying fun with freedom of movement, deeper penetration and wild visuals. Order one with a bungee cord and experience bouncy “basket trick ” pleasures.

Sling sets. Like invisible hands holding her legs aloft, this sex sling takes all the strain out of Missionary. The woman places her feet in the holsters and pulls the straps for optimum leg placement. Voila! Deeper, longer, more comfortable sex.

Doggystyle harness. Rear-entry intercourse shouldn’t be a pain the butt. This comfortable harness holds a woman’s hips from below stimulation—all with better balance and control for him, which also means more pleasure for both.

Ankle positioners. For Missionary made easy, with G-spot emphasis, bring her knees to her chest and cuff her ankles into this adjustable positioner. Then let the good times roll.

G -spot positioners. This comfortable foot-and-ankle sling gives both sets of feet extra leverage, so he can gently push off and angle accurately for her G-spot, while her hips stay perfectly positioned without rolling up and out of G-spot range.

Environmental positioners. Get creative with what you’ve got. Place your hands or feet on the headboard, and push off for greater leverage, aim and deeper penetration. Or tie your lover’s wrists and ankles to the bed posts. Or try a suction-cup dildo on the headboard for one more erection to play with.

Shake, Rattle & Roll!

What’s the latest in hot new sex toys to enhance pleasure during intercourse? Begin salivating now:

Bullet vibrators. Press this tiny vibrator onto her clitoris during penetration and she’ll feel herself racing toward orgasm. Or hold it against his testicles or taint for his special treat. Works wonders on each other’s nipples, too.

Mini-massagers. These discreet, powerful, lipstick-sized orgasm-makers with easy-grip handles create easier clitoral fun, and the waterproof models are always ready to delight in the shower or tub.

Hands-free vibes. An elastic strap holds a small bullet vibe right on her clitoris, so your hands are free to roam during lovemaking. Or try a vibrating penis ring that’ll delight both of you. Feeling adventurous? A double-vibe ring delivers some exotic testicle-tickling, too.

Him-on-her dildos. Choose your shape for G-spot pleasuring or for girthier “hurts-so-good” thrills. For the ultimate adventure, insert one into her anus during lovemaking for a penis-dildo

Dr. Sadie Sez: Pick-Up Your Toys—And Clean Them!

Before and after each use, thoroughly clean toys with warm water and antibacterial soap or an adult toy cleanser. You can sterilize silicone dildos in boiling water or wash them on the top rack in your dishwasher, but not latex and battery-operated toys. Dry all washed toys completely before storing them.

double-penetration sensation, or try it with a strap-on for dual in-n-out motions. Remember: no back-and-forthing!

Her-on-him dildos. She’s the Penetrator-In-Chief with this dildo-holding strap-on harness fastened snugly around her waist, probing for orgasmic HE-spot pleasures.

Hot-To-Trot Penis Toys

If you haven’t checked lately, look at how many different kinds of gadgets a guy can now look forward to:

Penis rings. Also known as “cock rings,” he straps one snugly around the base of the penis—or together with both testicles—to create harder, longer-lasting erections while helping to spout huge orgasms. Available in a variety of fabrics, rings offer features like Velcro or “release snaps” ready to open one at a time as climax nears. Caution: Not for men with vascular issues.

Penis extenders. For longer length and firmer penetration, try a penis extender. Today’s models are worn like condoms with soft extension heads available in different sizes to suit your needs.

Penis thickeners. These lifelike sleeves wrap around the erect penis to create a snugger fit inside the vagina. And they allow the head of the penis to pop out at the top, so he still enjoys lots of erotic sensations.

Penis buffers. If he’s too well-endowed for her comfort, slide on a penis buffer (aka jelly masturbator) at the base of the penis to keep from penetrating too deeply and injuring her cervix.

Backdoor Entertainment

Butt plugs. These flared-base “can’t-disappear-inside-you” plugs feel terrific during intercourse—especially the vibrating

models. Just lube one up and slide it slowly inside for a sensational feeling of fullness—as well as thrilling, gripping pulsations during orgasm. Wearing a plug in her anus can narrow her vaginal canal to create tighter vaginal intercourse for him, too.

Prostate stimulators. Try one of these prostate-seeking, orgasm-escalating toys for sensations you didn’t think possible. These stimulators are curved just right to automatically excite the prostate together with the natural movements of intercourse—hands-free! These are also available in vibrating models. Try doing simultaneous Kegel-squeezes for super HE-spot orgasms.

Anal T’s. These vibrating angled-to-excite toys feel like someone else is pleasuring the prostate during intercourse. Slip one

Dr. Sadie Sez: Playing With Anal Toys? Don’t Be A Butt-Head!

Rule One: Use lube. Always. Rule Two: Insert and extract toys slowly. Rule Three: Choose toys that don’t trap bacteria, such as non-porous silicone or glass (or roll a condom over latex or rubber). Rule Four: No back-and-forthing between anus and vagina. Rule Five: Practice the safety tips in the Appendix.

in, turn it on, and let its vibrations do all the work, while you work her.

Slippery Sensations

Sex lubricants now come in many different varieties—try a few till you find the feel that slips it to you best.

Water-based lubes. From watery “pour-it-on” liquids to thick “ooze-it-on” gels, this type of lube is compatible with condoms and every type of sextoy. It comes in lots of exotic flavors for oral slurping, too. Gels last longer, so be sure to replenish thinner lubes more often. Clean-up is easy and stain-free, and washes right off everything, including you.

Silicone-based lubes. This type of lube is longer-lasting and super slippery. Great for anal play and perfect for sex in a shower, hot tub, or pool because it stays slippery, even in water. However, it will create a slip-hazard if it drips on bathroom tiles. Be careful. Requires a little extra effort to wash off.

Lube shooters. Don’t order one at happy hour, but these single-use lube-tubes will make you very happy. Squeeze one deep inside the vagina or anus, and you’ll enjoy total slipperiness when and where you need it. Try a silicone shooter before underwater intercourse, or for longer-lasting anal play.

Dr. Sadie Sez: Get The Buzz.

To learn more about the joys of toys, including selection, techniques, and safety, feel free to pick up a copy of my book, TOYGASMS! The Insider’s Guide to Sex Toys and Techniques at ticklekitty.com.

Appendix: Safety First-Protect Yourself

This book is about pleasure, positions, orgasms and sex.

It’s also about health, honesty, safety and self-protection.

No human on the planet is immune from today’s sexually transmitted infections (STIs). You can catch one or more from intimate sexual contact with someone who’s already infected, either through vaginal, oral or anal sex, or even genital rubbing with no penetration.

What’s the difference between an STI and an STD (sexually transmitted disease)? The term STI has a broader meaning; a person may be infected (through viruses or bacteria), and has the potential to infect others, while showing no signs of disease. The infected person may not feel sick, or even be aware of the infection. An STD is an STI that has begun to exhibit the symptoms of disease. Because our focus is on prevention, this book uses the term STI to epmphasize that you can become infected from a sexual partner, even if that person shows no symptoms.

STIs can last a lifetime, damage your relationships, cause sterility and birth defects, and lead to tragic illness and death. Sobering? Yes. Is there something you can do? Yes.

Practice Safer Sex—Here’s How

Those who take the safest route—total abstinence from sex with anyone else—probably aren’t reading this book (but if you’re peeking, pick up a nice vibrating sextoy or two, along with some slippery sex lube. Masturbating is perfectly safe!).

The next safest option is total monogamy. This means you promise to be 100 percent faithful to your lover—and you both keep that promise. No cheating, no needle sharing. You’ll still need to practice birth control to reduce the risk of unwanted pregnancy.

But what if you’re in non-committed relationships, or engaging in casual, or “friends with benefits” sex? There’s really only one way to decrease your chances of contracting or transmitting STIs—or even ending up with an unwanted pregnancy: practice safer sex—each and every time.

The good news: you’re mostly safe kissing, licking, nibbling, sucking and massaging your lover everywhere but on the private parts (but you can catch cold sores if your partner has them on the mouth). And you’re mostly safe bringing your partner to orgasm through Outercourse (chapter 15), as long as you keep your partner’s body fluids from entering your body, either through an orifice or a cut in your skin. (This includes semen, pre-come, vaginal fluids, blood, and—take a deep breath—discharge from sores caused by STIs.)

Steps To Safer Sex—Easier Than You Think

1. Know your partner. Lower your risk by limiting your number of sexual partners, and skipping anonymous and casual sex. It’s okay to ask a partner about his or her sexual history. If a new lover pulls out a condom without you ever asking, that’s a good sign. If he resists a “glove”—then no love!

2. Practice monogamy. This means being completely faithful. Start with testing to be sure you’re both free of any hidden STIs from the get-go. If you have the slightest doubt your partner may not be completely monogamous, insist on protection.

3. Use latex condoms. Without fail, roll a fresh latex condom over the penis before it ever touches the vagina, mouth or anus. Roll them over sextoys, too. And always use sex lubes that are “latex-compatible,” such as water-based varieties.

4. Store condoms wisely. Keep a fresh supply on hand. Don’t leave them in the heat, glovebox or wallet. Never re-use them. And always toss them after their expiration date. If you open one that looks or smells bad, don’t use it.

5. Use dams, gloves and cots. Before engaging in cunnilingus or analingus, place a latex dam or a large sheet of plastic wrap over the vulva or anus so the mouth and lips never touch the skin. Don’t invert them, and never re-use them. For fingerplay, wear a latex glove or “finger cot,” a snug latex cover that rolls onto your finger.

6. Apply sex lubricant. And plenty of it. It’s inexpensive, feels good and essential for anal play.

7. Stay sober. Drinking alcohol and taking recreational drugs weaken your resolve, lessen your ability to communicate, and make it tougher to focus on putting on a condom correctly. Know when to say “when.”

8. Wash up. Before anyone touches anything, wash hands with antibacterial soap and warm water. This includes fingers, sextoys and yourselves. Don’t introduce germs from the outside world onto and into your most sensitive private parts. If he’s uncircumcised, encourage him to wash under his foreskin—every day.

9. Clean your sextoys. Before and after each use, wash each sextoy with water and antibacterial soap or an adult toy cleanser. You can sterilize silicone and glass dildos in boiling water or wash them on the top rack in your dishwasher. Dry your washed sextoys completely before storing them, or for the safest results, let them air-dry.