Ride On (22 page)

The lads all looked at the documents for a few minutes. Dónal skimmed through his copy and glanced up at Jimmy. Jimmy was frowning at his. Aesop was still on the first page, bending down to try and read it. He hadn't gotten used to the controls on his own armchair and it was at its full height. He seemed to be miles above the table.

‘As you know,' said Alison, ‘we're extremely excited about you two guys and can see great potential for upcoming projects. This document and your talent will make all of us a lot of money over the next two years.'

‘Two years?' said Jimmy.

Dónal put a hand on his arm and looked at Alison.

‘Go on …'

Alison pointed to a graph on the overhead projector.

‘Well, as you can see, the next twelve months are going to see some movement in the industry. We'll be striving to maximise all the leverage we can within that calendar.'

Jimmy swallowed. They'd be striving to maximise their leverage? He was used to hearing this type of nonsensical bollocks when he worked in an office, but he wasn't expecting to have to listen to it here. And what was that about two years?

‘So, if no one has any questions, we'll move on to some of the details … eh, yes Aesop?'

Aesop had his hand up.

‘What does “whereon” mean?'

‘Em … well it doesn't really mean anything. It's just a word for … em …'

‘Oh. Okay. Can I have a lend of your pen?'

She passed it across and he started crossing out words on his contract.

‘Eh, okay, so moving on … are you … okay Aesop?'

‘Sorry. I'm just … I can't get this chair to go down. Look at me. I feel like I should be eating a bowl of Liga up here.'

‘There's a little lever just at the side. You need to push it down. But be careful …'

There was whoosh and then a bang.

‘Ow! Aw … me fuckin' mouth …'

‘Are you okay Aesop?'

‘Bit me tongue. Aw man, that hurts like a bastard. Look, it's bleeding … don't be looking at me like that Jimmy … Oh God … look at that … aw, I … I don't feel well Alison …'

He was looking at the blood on his finger, the other hand steadying himself on the table.

Alison barked a few instructions and one of the guys next to her went around to Aesop to help him to his feet.

‘Maybe you could show Aesop to the bathroom please Phil?'

Dónal looked at her.

‘And maybe then Phil could introduce him to a few people around the office?'

‘Good idea. Why don't you do that, Aesop, when you've got yourself cleaned up?'

‘Okay. Sorry for all this trouble Alison,' said Aesop, taking his contract and moving towards the door, leaning on Phil's arm.

‘It's no trouble. These chairs can take a bit of getting used to.'

When the door closed behind them, Jimmy turned around to Alison.

‘Sorry about that. Usually he waits until all the chocolate biscuits are gone before he gets bored and starts annoying everyone.'

‘That's okay Jimmy. Now, where were we?'

‘The album contract,' said Dónal. He hadn't been distracted at all by Aesop. He was still frowning and looking down at a particular part of it.

‘Right. Yes. Well, the way we see this working, going forward, is that …'

*

Aesop thoroughly enjoyed himself for the afternoon. Once he was done in the bathroom, Phil led him through the office, stopping at all the girls' desks and introducing Aesop as the drummer with The Grove. They all knew exactly who he was. Each one stood and smiled at him in turn and he bowed and shook their hands and grinned at them like his whole life was a complete fucking waste of time until about five minutes ago. He concentrated on cramming as many names as would fit into the special mental vault he used for people he wasn't planning on shagging but wanted to charm anyway. It was usually reserved for mammies and table staff in pubs. But these girls were the ones who'd be working on the album; making calls, sorting out the publicity, making sure the shops were stocked and the CDs properly displayed. They'd be putting out the press releases and contacting journos and setting up interviews and promotions. Never mind all that shite going on in Alison's office, this was where the real work was done and he wanted to make a good impression.

Phil was a bit of a tit though. He showed Aesop some of the latest reviews.

‘One magazine two weeks ago said you were easily the most exciting new drummer in England, Aesop. What do you think of that?'

‘I wasn't in England two weeks ago, Phil.'

‘I'm sorry?'

‘I'm from Dublin.'

‘Oh of course, sorry. Maybe it said the UK, not England.'

Aesop nodded at him slowly.

‘Did you get The Muppets on the telly over here, Phil?'

About an hour later he saw Jimmy coming out of the meeting room and going into the lift without a word to anyone. Then Dónal came out and followed him. Aesop frowned and said his goodbyes to the girl he was talking to. Dónal and Jimmy were waiting for him on the street outside.

‘C'mon,' said Dónal, before Aesop could open his mouth. ‘There's a pub just down here.'

They all started walking down the road.

‘Anyone want to fill me in on what the fuck happened up there?'

‘Wait till we have a pint in front of us, Aesop. That got a bit heated, so it did.'

‘But I thought we were all mates, Alison and us?'

‘We're business partners, Aesop. Not always the same thing.'

‘Were you having a row?'

‘Discussion. In loud voices.'

‘Yis bleedin' eejits. See what happens when I leave you alone? You need my unique brand of charm and can-do attitude in these situations.'

‘Yeah. How's your tongue?'

‘I think a bit came off. Feels funny. Bumpy.'

‘Doesn't affect your appetite though. What's that you're eating?'

‘Yorkie. Do you want one? I have a Turkish Delight too.'

‘I'm grand thanks.'

‘Murray Mint?'

‘Where did you get all that stuff Aesop. Were you robbing their fridge?'

‘There's a fridge? Bollocks. No, that Phil bloke was annoying me so I had to get rid of him out to the shops a couple of times.'

‘How did he annoy you for God sake?'

‘Ah, he's a dope. He thinks Ireland is part of the UK.'

‘For the first time, Jimmy looked over.

‘You weren't exactly the best geography student yourself that Brother Patrick ever had, were you Aesop?'

‘Jesus Jimmy, at least I know where me own country starts and finishes.'

‘Yeah,' said Jimmy. ‘Dublin.'

‘Ah, not any more Jimmy. Sure I've a whole new appreciation for bog-warriors now. I mean, when you get right down to it, most of them are only a decent haircut and a change of jocks away from being like the rest of us.'

‘Very magnanimous of you, Aesop.'

‘Sticks and stones, Jimmy.'

They were outside the pub now and Jimmy pushed open the door and led them inside. At the bar, Dónal called for three pints.

‘Okay then,' said Aesop, picking up his glass. ‘What's up? Why did this fella come barrelling out of Alison's office like a man with the trots?'

‘Right Aesop,' said Dónal. ‘This is what's after happening, right? Are you listening?'

‘I am.'

‘Okay. Basically, they want us to sign a four-album deal. For a lot of money.'

‘The bastards.'

‘No, listen. The new album will be out in a couple of weeks, right?'

‘Right.'

‘Then you go on tour.'

‘Yeah.'

‘Well it seems that Alison and her team have come up with an ingenious solution to the problem of us not having a bass player.'

‘Deadly! What is it?'

‘Well, it's a bit complicated. But, what they want to do is for us to tour with Leet.'

‘Sure that's grand. It'll be a laugh having young fellas like that around the place.'

‘Yeah, well we tour Ireland, then the UK. We use Leet's bass player in The Grove. He plays with us every night when Leet come off. We just pay him a session fee.'

‘Okay.'

‘Now, here's where it gets a bit fucked.'

Jimmy put down his empty glass. He nodded to the barman for three more, even though the other two had barely touched theirs.

‘You can fucking say that again,' he said.

Dónal went on.

‘Senturion aren't sure about us being headline material in the States.'

‘Well that's all right, isn't it? Nothing's even been released over there yet.'

‘Yeah. But they think Leet might be.'

‘What?'

‘The Grove would be supporting Leet in the States.'

‘But they haven't even recorded anything yet! They're only kids.'

‘I know. But they have the makings of an album and Senturion are ready to put a huge amount of money behind it, based on what they've heard. They'll have songwriters working on it straight away on the side, and they'll come up with a production sound for us to work to in the studio. They're looking for something new and they've decided that Leet is it. They're going full tilt, man. They have some big American friends on board with the whole thing. It's time for a new biggest-band-in-the-world and Leet are in the right place at the right time. Could've been anyone, but it's Leet.'

‘But could it not have been us?'

‘Well, that's what we were kind of hoping for, Aesop. Unfortunately, they basically think you're too old. You and Jimmy. Great musicians, great songwriters … but a bit long in the tooth to attract the kids in the US. Kids who don't want to see their Dads up there on the stage. They need a new Green Day, now that Green Day are getting all serious.'

Aesop looked in the mirror behind the bar and flicked at his hair.

‘Me? Look at me, for fuck sake. I'm gorgeous! I could pass as twenty-two no bother.'

‘Maybe not any more Aesop.'

Aesop looked over at Jimmy.

‘Is this what has you like this, grandad?'

Jimmy nodded.

‘It gets better, man. Go on Dónal.'

‘Right. Aesop, do you understand what's happening so far?'

‘Yeah. Jesus, it's not like I've no brain at all Dónal.'

‘I know that. I just want to make sure you know where we are. We'll all need to be able to discuss it later, the three of us.'

‘I'm grand. Go on.'

‘Right. So, we release The Grove album, go on tour around Ireland and the UK with Leet as support. The Leet album is recorded on the road. Not easily done, but the timing means it has to happen that way. When it's ready, your album and Leet's album
both
go out in the US, a shed load of money behind theirs and fuck all behind yours. But you'll get the run-off because you're touring together over there – except with The Grove supporting Leet this time. All the kids over there run out and buy the Leet album because MTV tells them to, some of them buy yours too.'

‘Okay. I'm starting to not like it as much now.'

‘Right. But that's not all.'

‘What do you mean?'

‘Senturion are after having another great idea. What they're basically saying is, The Grove is too old to really sell records from a standing start. But Leet don't have the musicianship in the studio to cut it. Or the songwriting. So … after the US tour we all come back here and get back here to work on our second album.'

‘Yeah …'

‘Except, it's a Leet album.'

‘We work on a Leet album? But …'

‘The drummer and guitar player in Leet get fired. You and Jimmy join Leet for the other three albums in the contract. What you have in your hand there is really a contract for Leet not The Grove. You see the problem now?'

Aesop nodded.

‘One contract, two bands.'

‘No. One band Aesop. That's the problem. The Grove is no more. You can take the songs into Leet with you, almost everything else stays the same, except the front man of the band isn't Jimmy. Eamonn does the singing. Jimmy gets to hang back and become a guitar hero. You do what you've always done. You're Jimmy's rhythm section.'

‘And … The Grove is gone?'

‘Except for the songs. Yeah.'

‘Jimmy?'

‘Yeah?'

‘You all right?'

‘No.'

Aesop looked back at his pint for a minute.

‘Dónal, it'll never happen.'

‘Why not?'

‘Man, them lads in Leet have been mates since they were kids.'

‘I know.'

‘Well, they're not going to just fire the drummer and the guitar player, are they?'

‘Well, I don't know. But when there's money involved, Aesop, people can surprise you.'

‘Well … okay. But we can just say fuck off, right? We don't want to be in Leet. We want to be in The Grove. Right Jimmy?'

‘Right.'

‘And anyway, what are they on about? We're huge in Ireland! Everyone loves us.'

‘Ireland is a piss-splash Aesop. This is a whole different game we're playing. There's no money in Ireland. Not like that anyway. It's too small.'

Aesop had caught up to Jimmy at this stage and waved at the barman.

‘So,' he said, turning back to Dónal. ‘We sign this contract, tour, and then come back and join Leet?'

‘Right.'

‘And if we tell them to fuck off?'

‘We tour the UK and Ireland. With Leet if we want. Then we're on our own. The album is released at home and here. Anywhere else, it's only on export. End of story. We go looking for another deal unless the album really breaks. Then Senturion will probably get behind us again. But, Aesop, the album won't break unless they're behind us in the first place. And their plan is to pull money out from under us and put it into Leet. Do you understand?'