Ride with Me (14 page)

“Fucking twins, baby!” I kiss her hard and long. If we weren’t in a fucking doctor’s office, I would fuck her right now. But this place smells like disinfectant, and I want the fuck out of here.

“I can’t believe it,” she says on a gasp. “To be pregnant, but then to be pregnant with twins … Holy shit, Cruz.” She shakes her head in disbelief.

“I really can’t believe it, either, but we’ll roll with it, babe. That’s all we can do.”

Coop climbs up on my lap, which makes me wonder how long he will be able to do that. He’s only in kindergarten, but still. My belly will probably become monstrous with two babies inside.

Twins. I can’t fucking believe it. It’s exciting and scary all wrapped into one.

I have to wait a couple of days before I find out if all the blood work came back normal. I pray it does. If I hurt these babies at all, I’m not sure I could live with myself. It would be like ripping my guts out of my body.

“I’s payed a wedder game and runneded outside,” Cooper explains his day, giving me every last detail, and I let him talk. I love hearing everything he did throughout the day. It’s interesting to hear how he perceives things and processes them in that tiny, little brain of his.

After leaving the office, we picked up my prescription then came home to celebrate before picking Cooper up from school. Now is the time to tell him. I wonder how his brain will process this.

“Daddy and I have something to tell you,” I say, kissing Cooper on top of the head.

“What?”

I pull out one of the pictures the doctor let us take from the appointment today. It’s grainy, but if you look super close, you can see the two heads. “This is your new baby brother or baby sister.”

He looks at me questioningly, and I shake my head. I’m not explaining this right.

“Well, buddy,” I try again, “it’s actually two babies, but we don’t know if they are boys or girls yet.”

The doctor said we will be able to see the sex of the babies in another month or so.

“Welly?” Cooper’s eyes widen. “I’s gonna be a big brudder?”

“Yep. How do you feel about that?” I ask while Cruz sits quietly, observing the exchange.

“I pay with dem!” he squeals excitedly.

“Yep, you sure can, but they’ll be little at first, like baby Deke. They’ll need to grow before you can play monster trucks.” Cruz wraps his arm around me, obviously loving Cooper’s enthusiasm over having more kids in the house. We both wanted more kids, but twins? If they are anything like Coop, we are going to have a run for our money.

“Otay!” he screams and scurries off my lap. “I get nak.” Off he goes, like his world isn’t about to be turned upside down. Not in a bad way, but the adjustment will be a change for all of us.

Cruz pulls me into his warm body, and I curl into him.

“I still can’t believe it,” I whisper into his chest.

He moves his hand up and down my back soothingly as he kisses my head. “No matter what happens, we’ve got this, Princess.”

His words are all the reassurance I need. We’ve got this. Our family of three will be five very soon.

I let the joy infiltrate my soul. This is our forever.

***

“We’ve got something to tell everyone!” Cruz bellows above the noise at the clubhouse.

We haven’t told anyone. Ma knows I’m pregnant, but she has no clue it’s two babies inside of me.

I can’t help the giddy excitement that rolls over me as all the brothers and their ol’ ladies look our way. I feel like a stupid, teenaged kid. I’m blaming it on hormones. I will go with that for now.

Silence falls over the room as Cruz commands attention. His arm goes around my shoulder and Cooper comes to stand by us. “I’m fucking thrilled to announce that my ol’ lady … is pregnant!”

Cheers and yells erupt so loudly Cooper puts his hands over his ears.

People begin to walk toward us, but Cruz raises a hand, and they stop with puzzled looks on their faces.

“Not done.”

Silence falls again, and my eyes move to my mother, whose brows are scrunched in confusion. I give her a reassuring smile, not moving my eyes from her.

“We’re having twins!” Cruz’s voice is so excited, and Ma’s face bursts into a huge smile.

She pushes through the crowd, knocking people over to get to me. That is so not like Ma, but I guess it’s not every day you find out your kid is having two babies.

Her arms wrap around me as Cruz lets me go. “Baby girl.” Ma’s voice cracks, not something I’m used to. No, that is not like my hard as nails mother who has taught me everything I know.

I try to pull away, but she doesn’t allow it. Her arms turn into a death grip, and I feel her chest rising and falling with her breaths. Shit, is she crying? I rub up and down her back, trying to soothe her.

“It’s okay, Ma,” I tell her.

“I can’t believe you’re gonna have twins. I just can’t …” Her voice trails off as her breathing begins to even out. She’s pulling herself together in true Ma fashion.

The rest of the room is cheering, but in this small moment with my mom, I suck it in. She’s made me the woman I am today. I just hope I can do the same with Coop and these two little ones inside of me.

Ma finally pulls back and swipes her eyes so quickly I would have missed it if I weren’t so damn close. “I’m so damn happy for you, baby girl.”

I feel the clog in my throat yet push it back. I will not cry. I won’t, dammit.

“Give me my girl,” Pops calls out to Ma, who steps back and moves over to Cruz. My father’s strong arms come around me, and he kisses my temple. “Twins, huh? One couldn’t be enough; you had to go full throttle,” he teases.

“I blame it on Cruz’s super sperm.”

He pulls away from me. “Don’t fucking talk about his sperm to me, woman,” he chastises, but a small smile plays on his lips. I shrug. “I’m so damn happy for ya.”

I pull him close and whisper in his ear, “Thanks, Daddy.”

He tightens his hold around me, and I choke down the emotion that wants to spill out. Dammit, I’m not crying!

He releases me, and then I’m immediately swept into hug after hug, no one thinking twice about it.

It is so wonderful that we get to bring two babies into a world with so much love.

***

For the past month, I have been trying to get everything in order at X. I know Blaze can handle anything thrown at her, but me being four and a half months along already, everything is up in the air with me. I want to make sure I do everything that needs to be done in case I can’t go in for a few days.

I’m not going to lie; my body is fucking tired. It’s like every bit of energy I have is being sucked out of me. It’s a good thing I’m in shape because I would hate to see myself if I wasn’t.

Sitting in the doctor’s office, Cruz waiting not so patiently beside me, I feel my belly. A movement kicks my hand, and I gasp, my eyes darting over to Cruz.

“What?” he asks, rising from the chair. He must see the concern in my eyes.

“I think I just felt a baby kick.” My voice comes out in a soft whisper. I’m stunned, mystified. It’s like nothing I have ever felt before.

To feel your babies inside your belly, moving and making their presence known is kind of like a dream. It also makes me think of Cooper and how I wish I had carried him. Even though I didn’t, it makes him no less my son than these two babies inside me. It’s just a different experience.

“No shit?” Cruz raises his hand, and I grab it, placing it on the spot where I felt the movement. Just then, another kick comes, and Cruz’s face lights up with a smile.

“Did you get to feel Cooper?” I feel the urge at that moment to know. We have never really talked about that time in his life. We just let things stand where they are and move on from there. Coop is my kid, and that is all that matters. But feeling these little ones, my curiosity gets the better of me.

“I did. Mel”—he shakes his head, remembering the incubator who was no mother at all to Cooper—“let me, but everything she did was a ploy to get me to be with her. I took some of her shit because I wanted to feel my boy, see my boy when he was born, but nothing like this. Nothing like feeling it for the very first time.”

“It’s phenomenal.” The movement in my belly gets more intense. “I’m thinkin’ they might be having a party in there.”

Cruz chuckles. “Those are my boys.”

“Or girls.” I punctuate the ‘s’ at the end of girls, knowing Cruz thinks they are both boys. I have a feeling otherwise.

“Well, looky here!” Dr. Hernandez’s smiles broadly as she enters the room.

Cruz lets go of my belly and returns to his seat.

“What did I miss?” she asks expectantly.

“We felt the babies move.”

The doctor’s smile broadens. “Excellent. Your urine looks good, and we’ll send off for the new blood work.”

“What about the drinking?” I ask quickly, wanting to get that fucking elephant out of the room and smash it.

She smiles warmly. “All of the previous blood work came back normal. Sure, some of your counts are higher, but it’s normal for mothers with twins. As of right now, I see nothing to worry about, but I strongly recommend no more drinking.”

“You don’t have to worry about that, doc.” I look at Cruz. We’ve discussed this a lot since I found out I am pregnant. He’s tried to put my fears to rest, and while I appreciated that, I have still been scared. I’m always scared something will happen to Cooper—hell, to Cruz, too—add in these two, and I’m hoping I don’t lose my shit. “No booze.”

She nods in understanding. “Now let’s check these little ones.” The excitement in her voice is hard not to feel. “Lie back. Jill will be right here.”

Sure enough, a knock comes at the door just as I lie on the table, and Cruz comes around to the opposite side to hold my hand.

“Perfect. Let’s see these babies.”

Dr. Hernandez watches the screen closely as Jill moves the ultrasound wand around my belly after squirting the lube on me. This time, when I look at the screen, I can see a little head and a little body clear as day, nothing grainy like before.

“That’s the arm,” the doctor says, pointing to the monitor. It looks like the baby is waving hi to us. Bizarre, but totally kick ass! “Want to know if you’re having boys, girls, or a combo deal?” It sounds like she’s ordering a number five at McDonald’s.

I look over at Cruz.

“I wanna know, babe.”

I know he does. It’s all he’s been saying since the last appointment. Me? I just want healthy babies.

“Sure,” I agree.

Dr. Hernandez points to screen. “Right there is a little penis.” Joy fills me at another little boy. She then moves the wand of the ultrasound over to the other baby. “See those two little lines?”

I nod my head.

“That’s a little girl.”

This time, the tears well up, and I can’t stop them from falling over. A boy and a girl. How in the hell did I get so lucky? Fucking hell.

I look up at Cruz.

“Fuck, yeah,” he says through his wide smile. “But our daughter wears a fucking chastity belt.”

That dries my tears up, and I burst out laughing.

A boy and a girl. Holy shit. It’s like I won the baby jackpot. Not that I wouldn’t love any combination that is in my belly, but having both is fantastic. Happy doesn’t even seem to cut it. A family of five, and I can’t fucking wait.

“What do you mean ‘you want me to go get it all’?” Ma asks.

I sit on the couch in my living room, putting my feet up. The doctor wasn’t kidding when she said I would start showing. Shit, I can’t even button my pants anymore.

“Ma, you know what to get. I’ll give you the money, and you can shop until your heart’s content.”

Ma’s been bugging me about getting baby furniture, diapers, and all the other stuff that we are going to need. I look at it like we have time, so why hurry?

“This is supposed to be mother/daughter time, and I’ve gotta get you ready for your little ones.” She oozes happiness. Ma and Pops are already talking about spoiling the twins. They already do Coop, so I don’t see much changing in that department.

I roll my eyes. “Love ya, Ma, but my feet are saying ‘stay here and rest.’ ” For some reason, my feet decided to blow up like elephants today. They don’t really hurt, but they are sore. I called the doctor’s office, and they told me to elevate them, which brings me to sitting here on the couch with them up.