Rifts (17 page)

***

So, here I was on the road again walking back to the main part of the city. Man, I was doing a lot of walking lately. My senses were on high alert this time, though. I didn't need another episode with Hope because frankly, I was exhausted.

I was proud of the fact that I didn't flinch when Drew popped in beside me.

"You're training with Heph."

"You're very astute."

"Be careful or you'll end up as dour and humorless as he is," he quipped.

What came out of my mouth next was as much of a surprise to me as it was to him. "You have a very small vocabulary." It tickled me to see his body go rigid with surprise. He stopped abruptly in front of me, his mouth agape.

"That was just mean. Besides, you know very well that I don't have a very small
vocabulary
."

I rolled my eyes and continued walking. All of the marbles of you show a very small vocabulary. That's probably why you spend so much time strutting about like you're God's gift to women. Over compensation. It's nothing to be ashamed of, Drew. Most men aren't very well-spoken."

I glanced up at him to see his expression and continued walking.

"Again, you know that I
am
well-spoken. But let's move on to less prurient topics shall we? Have you told Dylan yet?"

"Do you need to borrow a thesaurus? I think I have one I can lend you." At his raised eyebrow, I rolled my eyes and responded seriously. "No, I haven't had the opportunity. Is that why you're here?"

"No, I wanted to see how you're doing. That incident with Hope last night, right before you nearly drowned, has me worried about you. You've had a hell of a few days."

"I hope she's still blistered," I muttered. That karma was going to come back to me eventually, but I wouldn't take it back. I
did
hope that she was still blistered. I still had a lump the size of an egg on the back of my head where she'd slammed it into the pavement. Bitch.

"I wouldn't know."

"How surprising. I thought that you'd be happy with your little reunion. I hear that your match was one for the ages. All sunshine and butterflies."

"Depends on who you're talking to I guess. I haven't seen Hope since the last time we were together at your house."

"Hmm." It's amazing what one little syllable can say about an entire bevy of emotions.

"You don't believe me." It was a statement rather than a question.

"You haven't given me much reason to trust you lately."

"You need to get over this anger, Grace. It's not attractive."

"Good thing I'm not used to being attractive in the first place. To answer your question, I'm fine. Life is fine. No, I haven't told Dylan and if you don't mind, I have a bit of a hike ahead of me…I'd prefer to enjoy it in silence."

"I never took you for a coward."

That heat seeking missile hit its intended target and I stopped dead in my tracks. I wanted to argue. I wanted to fight. Most of all, I wanted to get the hell out of here before he realized how much of a coward I truly was.

I didn't ask for this life but I was doing the best I could to make it work. I didn't ask for a nut-job sister who wanted to kill me for allegedly stealing her husband. I didn't ask to bear the sole responsibility of retrieving my lost, and possibly dead, mother. Who was he to judge me?

Normally, this was where I'd let my anger take over. My smart mouth had gotten me out of situations like this before. I found that I couldn't draw on that well right now, though. I was just so tired. I didn't want to fight anymore.

I looked up into his face, resisting the urge to smooth away the lines of stress and worry. I shook my head. "I can't do this with you. Can't you see that this kills me? Why can't you read my mind and just know what's going on in there? I can't say the words. All I know is that I hurt. I am so tired. It's easier to be angry with you than to face the fear and the crappy emotions." I looked up into his face, shook my head again and sighed. "So, you either understand or you don't."

Was that moisture gathering in my eyes? Are you kidding me? Where did hard-ass Grace go and why did she leave me with sniveling Grace?

It's difficult to realize that you're lonely and longing for the other half of your soul to come along. I wanted it to be Drew, but I knew that this lie broke everything I'd built up in my mind.

The blocks were tumbling down. Drew would always be one of my best friends. He'd always be the person who helped me reach for something bigger than myself. But he wasn't going to be my soul mate. I needed to be okay with that.

He reached out and ran a thumb under my eye, catching the moisture before it could fall onto my cheeks.

"If I could take it back, I would. Not what we did together, but keeping the truth from you. I'd tell you a million times and beg on my knees for your forgiveness. But I can't go back in time. I can't change what has happened. All I can do is tell you that I feel like something terribly important is missing from my life when you and Dylan aren't in it. I finally figured out what it was to have a family."

My heart plummeted to my knees and it was a long time before I could breathe again. It wasn't an admission of love. He was admitting that he belonged to something greater than himself. Maybe I had grown up and had finally realized that some things in life were just more important than holding onto the hurt. Whatever the reason, I looked into his eyes and showed him the sorrow I was holding and the fear. "I want to tell you that those aren't the right words but hey, things are crazy. Drew, you
are
family. We'll figure it out." It was a quiet admission but you'd have thought that I'd yelled it.

His body visibly relaxed. "Thank you. You have a lot on your plate. A lot to focus on. I don't want this thing between us when it comes down to the punches."

My fingertips reached for the egg sized lump and I winced. "Yeah, I need to roll with them a little better, I guess. I just left Dylan back at Heph's compound. We could probably spring him and sit him down for a talk if you are read—" I didn't even finish the sentence before we blinked out of the middle of the street and back at Heph’s door.

"Eager?"

"Yeah, I guess I am."

"A warning would have been nice." My eyebrows were pasted to my hairline. I was getting really annoyed by my inability to teleport.

So…how do you tell a kid that the person he thought was his father his entire life is actually someone else?

I didn't know how to start and suddenly I was nervous. My elbow shot out and caught Drew in the ribs. "Ow! What the hell, Grace!"

"You tell him," I whispered.

He sputtered.

"Tell me what?"

I looked at that not so baby anymore face and pasted a bright smile on my face. "That you're the most awesome kid in the Universe. How did you know we were out here?"

"Um, Heph asked me to answer the door and ask erm - Drew what in the blankety blank, blank he was doing here."

My eyebrow arched. "Are you filling in blanks for bad words?"

His face turned scarlet. "Yes."

"I see." I wondered where that came from. I hadn't heard of a rift between the men but I guess it made sense with Drew's earlier attitude. Yet another thing to file away for later, I guess.

"We came to see you, buddy. We have something to talk about." Drew eased me out of the way and put his hand on Dylan's elbow to guide him out of the house.

Dylan dug in his heels. "I – I need to ask permission first. I er…if I don't, I have to do sewer duty and Mom, I can't go down there. It smells pretty heinous."

My eyes narrowed as I really examined my son. I'd been pretty off hands with him since we'd gotten here. His training took him out of my sphere of control, but I wondered what in the world he’d done to Scott to get stuck with this kind of punishment. He said he'd tagged him. Maybe I should have asked how badly.

"I'll take care of that, Bubby. Just stand here and talk to Drew. I'll be right back."

I jogged to the forge and found the area empty. "Heph?" My voice echoed through the room and down a hallway I hadn't seen before.

"Aren't you supposed to be somewhere doing something useful?"

I started and turned around. "Yeah, I'm supposed to be telling my kid about his parentage. I wanted to get him released from his blankety blank, blank duties so we could do it without him worrying about having to clean the sewers. Really? Sewers?"

"Would
you
want to clean the sewers?" He folded his massive arms across his chest and raised an eyebrow.

"Good point. Anyway, this is important and I haven't had much time alone with him to get this over with."

"Nervous?"

"Yeah."

"You'd be surprised what the kid knows."

"Would I?"

"Grace, he's your son. What do you think?"

"Crap, I better get back there before all hell breaks loose." I turned to jog back, but his words stopped me.

"Would you like to come back for dinner?"

"Wha—what?"

"Dinner," He continued gruffly. "I still have some training left to attend to. We can do that after."

"I—yeah. Sure. Let me just get this taken care of. It really depends on how he takes it. You know?" Where did this awkward come from? Wait, was he being nice to me?

I wasn't sure how to take this. Was my world so topsy-turvy that I immediately looked for the 'This is a Trap' sign? Why was he being nice? I shook my head, scattering the thoughts.

"Right, of course." He nodded his head toward the door, dismissing me.

So I ran. As fast as I could, actually. I just wasn't sure if I was running away from him or toward something else.

Dylan was walking through the front door to find me when I barreled into him. Limbs flailed and bodies crashed as we both hit the floor.

"What the Hell, Mom!"

"Did you just say Hell?" His profanity diverted me from the instant worry of knocking my baby down. I forgot to check him for cuts, bruises or gashes in my shock.

"No?"

"Yes?" I shot back.

"Maybe?"

"Maybe you forgot that you aren't allowed to swear in front of your Mother?"

"You swear all the time." Oh,
busted
! There is nothing worse than your kid calling you out when you're getting ready for an all-out motherly tirade on bad language. He was right. I
did
swear all the time. However, I was also old school enough that I felt confident in pulling the 'Do as I say not as I do' card.