Rifts (37 page)

"Good," I said with conviction.

"Don't begrudge yourself your humanity, Grace. It is part of what makes you so special. You've lived a life profoundly more deep than most of your peers because of it. It also affects how you make your decisions and that is what I am grateful for."

I nodded once and let my body relax. “I'm afraid that all of this genetic change won't help me take care of Athena. She's still more experienced and powerful than I am."

Her fingers trailed down my cheek and she smiled at me. "One of these days, you're going to realize that you are not alone. You don't have to fight by yourself anymore."

"It's hard to remember when I keep getting sent out alone to take care of other people's messes."

"Are you sent or do you hie off on your own?"

Mmm, that was a pretty profound question actually. I guess I did end up going off halfcocked by myself because I thought I was the only one equipped to deal with the situation.

"Ahh, I see that you've come to the correct conclusion. Try sitting up now."

I swung my legs over the side of the table and sat up, bracing my hands on the table for support.

"Better?" she asked.

"Much," I replied. "So, what's the plan?"

Drew strode into the room with Zeus and Hephaestus at his heels. "The plan is that we go in and get our son back." He reached the table and peered into my face, checking me for any damage. "How are you feeling?"

I couldn't look him in the eyes. I lowered my head and mumbled, "Fine thanks."

"Can you guys give us a few minutes, please?" He asked the others.

"I don't think that's such a great idea," replied Heph.

"I don't get a rat's ass what you think, Hephaestus. I need to speak to Grace privately."

"Of course, dear." My mother interjected, then moved away from the table before I could grab her and force her to stay. She herded the rest out the door and shut it quietly behind her.

I took a deep breath. Crap. This was the last thing I needed. Every time we started talking, things went skewonky and one of us was going to end up a wrecked mess of goop. It was probably going to be me. He lifted me from the table and led me over to a pair of chairs.

"Sit," he commanded.

I barked in return. I couldn't help myself. That was me, always the smart-ass.

"Do I need to keep a handful of puppy treats on hand to make you obey?" He asked with a sardonic tone.

"Maybe," I griped back.

"Please sit down and make yourself comfortable." Okay, that was better so I sat down and was immediately grateful. The chair was infinitely more comfortable than the metal slab I kept finding myself on.

"Thank you," I said.

"You're welcome. Your body language was screaming discomfort. And," he paused a moment. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry that I keep hurting you."

"It's alright," I began, but he interrupted me.

"No, it's not alright. I've been alone too long. I forget how to communicate. I forget how to get my point across without shutting down or starting a fight. I should know better. I know how you feel about me, Grace."

That caused my blood to heat and my face to turn scarlet. A smart assed comment was on the tip of my tongue when he said, "Don't say it."

Instead I crossed my arms and turned as far away from him as I could before speaking. "I can't talk to you about this. I feel like a fool. I've been broadcasting my feelings for you over a loud speaker. I know that you don't love me back. I'm working on getting over it. I just – I just think that we should focus on getting Dylan back."

"I don't want this to work against us. We need to get through this. Grace, you're my best friend. Besides, how do you know I don't love you?"

"The same way I know the sky isn't green, Drew. It's obvious that you don’t." My answer came out a little more emotional than I'd hoped but it got the point across.

"Did you ever bother to ask me if I loved you?"

"Of course not! I'm not supposed to
have
to ask. You're supposed to just let me know." I was not going to fall apart again, god damn it. Why were we having this conversation in the first place? There were better things to do.

"Have you ever told me that you loved me?"

I closed my eyes and exhaled. "No."

"So you're holding me to a different standard than yourself. You've gotten angry with me for something that you're guilty of. You project the 'just friends' attitude so loudly that it's impossible to figure out what it is that you want. So instead of being mad at me, take a look at your actions and cut me some slack."

"What about Hope?" It was a damned good question and if he evaded I was so out of here.

"What about Hephaestus?" That question surprised me.

"I don't understand what he has to do with this. I haven't sided with him over you and let him nearly kill you."

"He let me know - quite prominently - that you let him kiss you. What are your feelings for him? Do you love him?"

"I—I don't know. I can't think of any of this right now. I don't even want to be having this conversation with you. I'm trying so hard to suppress those feelings. God, I wish we could go back to when it was easy, Drew."

"Yeah, me too. Love stinks."

"Are you saying that you love me?"

"Are you saying that you love me?" He rejoined.

"Hmm, table this conversation for after?"

"What if there isn't an after? What if one of us doesn't make it back?"

My throat closed up at the thought of living in this world without him. "God, why are you forcing this? Yes, I'm saying that I love you. I love you with the entirety of my soul. It's easier for me to wake up in the morning knowing that you are in this world and that even if you aren't with me, you're near. So yes. Yes. I love you. I will always love you no matter whether we're together or apart. I cannot imagine loving anyone else in this Universe the way that I love you." I was angry now at my admission. I was ashamed that I had to spill this out because the thought of him not knowing was too much to bear. "You've completely wrecked me for anyone else and I haven't even had sex with you yet. How stupid is that? I don't even want to love you. Because Drew, I don't think we could even
be
a couple. You're my damned best friend. I just…I just need you in my life." I wiped a single tear from my eye and tried to laugh it off.

"We have in fact had sex," he smiled.

"Well you know what I mean." I said exasperated. And this was where we had the breakdown. I told him everything and he told me nothing.

He sighed. "I don't know if I can top that admission, but Grace – I
do
love you."

I nodded and waited for the 'but,’ because there was always a but. "But?" I asked. To Hell with the waiting, I'd just force it out.

"We have a lot of issues. You're my best friend, too. I don't want to lose that." He grinned ruefully.

"Yeah we do. I feel like such an idiot. You make me stupid, Drew. I'm so tired of being stupid. So let's forget about all of the romantic shit, be best friends and put this away for now so we can go get our kid." I said as calmly as I could.

He hesitated, like he wanted to say more, but simply nodded instead. "Okay, I'll go get the others."

"Can you give me about five minutes? I need to use the bathroom." It was a ploy. He knew it was a ploy but he nodded at me anyway. I just couldn't face everyone after this emotional idiocy. Loving someone was completely different than being able to coexist with them and be in a relationship with each other. I guess I finally realized that and it was a loss wrapped in a gain that I just couldn't make sense of. It's a powerful feeling – that feeling of relief when you realize that you're not crazy. You're just confused. I smiled wryly at myself. Yeah I needed him in my life and I wasn't going to deny that. But he wasn't going to be the love of my life.

He stopped before he reached the door and turned around to stride back to me. He pulled me out of the chair and into his arms and kissed me like it was going to be our last.  Tears leaked from my eyes as my mouth devoured his. I wanted to be as close as I could. If I could have crawled inside of him and lived forever in that moment, I would have. "I love you," I whispered against his lips.

"I know," he said after kissing me one last time. Then he disappeared before my eyes. I collapsed into myself and worked on calming the tumultuous emotions roiling within me. It was time to focus.

A veritable pantheon of Gods filed into the room. Ares was exclaiming loudly, "I still think that you should have bloody well told us, Zachary! It wasn't your gods damned decision to make!"

"Gentlemen, what's past has passed. We need to focus on the now," my mother said gently. God, I was so glad that she was here now. The entire mood of the room shifted to a calmer venue.

Hephaestus was the last to enter. Our eyes met and I looked away. I didn't know how to deal with that nonsense, so I was going to ignore it. But I didn't miss the disappointment in his eyes. I focused instead on the sheer power of the people in this room.

"So what's the plan," I asked rising from my chair.

"Ares has whipped up a proposal that should put us in there and get us out without too many problems," Zeus began.

"It's a brilliant tactical strike!" Ares boomed.

"Yes," Zeus sighed. "It's a brilliant tactical strike.

"Thank you," Ares muttered in reply.

"Anyway," he threw a pointed look at Ares before continuing. "We have a brilliant tactical strike. This is what we're going to do and hopefully we can get in there, get Dylan, bury Nyx once and for all
and
get back home in time for dinner. I understand that they're making roasted duck tonight. You all know how much I love my duck confit."

My mother rolled her eyes and tried to hide her smile as Zeus laid out the details of the plan. It seemed simple. We'd Rift into Atlantis in two groups, with my Mother leading the first group and me the second. My group would branch off and find Dylan. Hers would make for Nyx's resting place. They'd all realized that burying her in stasis under water wasn't the best idea. They were going to plant the bitch in lava this time.

My body started vibrating by the time everything had been explained. Adrenaline rushed through my veins making my blood hum. This was it. We were going to get Dylan and then he and I would be safe and able to go home.

"Grace!" Zeus thundered.

"Yes sir?"

"Were you paying attention?"

"Of course I was. What?"

"You'll take Ares, Drew, Mercury and Scooter. The rest will go with me. Are you ready?"

"At least I got the dog," I smiled and rubbed Scooter's ears.