R.I.L.Y Forever (13 page)

“She was a bit clingy, but otherwise fine. She went down right before you texted. Did you get everything done that you needed to?”

“Yup, all ready for tomorrow. Are you ready for bed?”

“I’m in bed, but, as usual, I have too much on my mind to sleep.”

“Want me to tell you a story like I used to when you couldn’t sleep?”

“I can’t believe you remember that.”

He hadn’t forgotten a single detail of their time together, but he didn’t tell her that. When they were young, he called every night and he could tell by the tone of her voice if she needed soothing. Sometimes his made up stories were short, other times they were long and lasted deep into the night. He would weave stories for her until her breathing evened and he was certain she drifted off, or on rare occasion, until Ella picked up the phone and told him to hang up.

“Yeah, I remember. Shut the lights, lie back, and I’ll tell you a special story, one I’ve been waiting to tell you for many years. This one I didn’t have to make up, though.”

He waited until he was certain she was lying still under the covers and then told her a story his Grandma Mildred told him the day she turned 71 and he was the only one of her family to turn up to celebrate with her. Not even her daughter, his mother, bothered to come and wish her only living parent a happy birthday. It was ten days after Ella’s attack and as was his usual habit on Saturday morning, Ethan dressed and went to have breakfast with his grandmother. He was her only grandchild and they formed a special bond from the second he was born.

Grandma Mildred was a warm, loving person, unlike the child she gave birth to, and he knew that day was going to be tough for her. It was the first birthday she’d be celebrating without his Grandpa Frank. Grandpa Frank died a year prior and Ethan’s mother stopped speaking to Grandma Mildred a short time after. That day, Ethan bought his grandma a small coconut cake, her favorite, and red and white mums. He went to celebrate her birthday with her, though he was heartbroken Julia wouldn’t see him.

The second she saw him, his grandmother knew something was wrong. He’d introduced Julia to her a few months after they started dating. He and Julia visited her together on a number of occasions. The women liked each other from the start and in many ways, Julia was the granddaughter his grandmother never had. When he told his grandmother what happened to Ella and then of Julia’s refusal to see him, she held him in her arms as he cried like a child. She listened, saying little. Then she dried his tears and told him she had something for him—the angel-winged, heart-shaped locket with the inscription embedded in its center. She told him she was certain if he gave it to his sweetheart, she would always remember him, know he loved her and one day, she would make her way back into his life. Grandma Mildred explained how the locket came to be hers.

In the winter of 1941, when Mildred was nineteen, she was in love with a young man named Charles Laraby. She’d been seeing him for a year behind her parents’ back and they planned one day to be married. When the United States entered World War II, he was drafted and she was beside herself. They, like many, decided to elope and when he returned from the war, they would tell her parents.

Mildred and Charles spent one night together as man and wife; that was all they had. As a wedding present he gave her the locket with his picture inside it. He told her she was his angel and no matter what happened he would always be with her. Charles’s final words to Mildred were, “Remember you are the love of my life and I’ll love you forever.”

A month after Charles went to war, Mildred found out she was pregnant. She was ecstatic and terrified. Mildred shared the news with Frank, Charles’s best friend who had a heart defect and could not join the war effort. Before leaving for war, Charles made Frank swear he would take care of Mildred. Frank and Mildred had grown close over the last month and were good friends.

Frank and Mildred each sent Charles a letter telling him of her pregnancy, hoping one of the letters would reach him. They never received a response. She was nearing her second trimester and was about to tell her parents about the pregnancy and her marriage to Charles, when she received word Charles was killed in the line of duty.

Mildred was devastated and fell in a deep depression. Only the thought of Charles’s baby growing inside her kept her from taking her own life. Still, she had no idea how to tell her family and she knew she couldn’t take care of the baby by herself. Her options were limited and she was running out of time. Frank was with her every step of the way, sharing in her grief and offering warm, strong arms to comfort her.

A few weeks after they received notice of Charles’s death, Frank sat her down and told her he wanted to marry her and give her and Charles’s child a home and a future not marred by scandal. At first, she refused. She told him she didn’t love him and he deserved better. Eventually he convinced her although he wasn’t her first choice, he still cared for her and marrying her would not be a burden, but a joy.

By that time Mildred’s parents suspected their daughter was in trouble. When Frank asked them for her hand in marriage, they agreed to a small quick wedding. When Ethan’s mother was born a little earlier than expected, everyone turned a blind eye.

Mildred and Frank built a wonderful life together and had three other children of their own. Over time they grew to love one another with a ferocity and a passion few ever experienced. Frank had given Mildred and her child a home and a great deal of love. In return, she loved him back for the extraordinary person he was. Frank and Mildred were married for fifty years and for all those years, she wore the locket Charles had given her. It became a symbol of true love for both of them.

Frank developed an aggressive form of lung cancer and although he fought it with all his might, he knew he was losing the battle and would soon be leaving his Mildred. Before he went, he wanted to do something special for her, something that would mark the incredible life they had together. Thus, for their fiftieth anniversary, he took the locket that meant so much to both of them and had it inscribed with the words, “RILY, forever” and he placed his picture alongside Charles in the center of the heart. He gave it to Mildred and told her he wanted her to know she’d given him the best life a man could ever dream of and like Charles, he loved her forever and beyond.

This, Ethan explained, was the locket his grandmother gave him to give to Julia on a cool May day when he sat at her kitchen table and wept for the girl he loved, but who wouldn’t have anything to do with him. His grandmother kept the pictures of Charles and Frank, and gave him the locket assuring him Julia would indeed use those wings to fly back to him one day.

She hadn’t been wrong.

Chapter Twelve

By the time Ethan finished telling his story, Julia was weeping. It was a beautiful story. She couldn’t believe he gave her Grandma Mildred’s locket. Julia treasured the locket because Ethan loved her enough to give it to her even when she was at her worst. To her it symbolized the story of their love, but she never dreamed it held the story and secrets of other grand loves, too.

She told Ethan how touched she was by the story and asked him if the locket should be returned to his mother. Although she couldn’t stomach the idea of being without her locket, she had to ask. It was the right thing to do, even if that woman had been such a misery to her. Ethan explained his mother knew nothing about the locket. The day his grandmother gave it to him, she was adamant Julia have the locket and his mother never know of its existence. Thus, it was in the hands of its rightful owner and that’s where it should stay until Julia handed it down to Lilly.

Ethan’s mother didn’t know Frank wasn’t her birth father until after his death. She was helping his grandmother go through some of Frank’s personal papers when she came across the letter he’d written to Charles before her birth. It had been returned to the sender and Frank had held on to it. Grandma Mildred did her best to explain to her daughter all that happened so long ago and why she and Frank never told her about Charles, but his mother couldn’t or wouldn’t understand and her relationship with her mother was deeply affected for good.

It was well after midnight when Ethan and Julia agreed it was time to hang up and attempt to get some sleep. Julia assured Ethan he gave her a sweet story to dream about and she was sure she could drift off. She lied. She stayed up the rest of the night thinking of Mildred, Charles, and Frank, and her own growing feelings for Ethan. She knew without a shadow of a doubt she loved Ethan. What she didn’t know was what was holding her back from saying the words.

At first she was unsure of his feelings toward her, but now there was no doubt in her mind. He adored Lilly and Lilly adored him. He knew all about Matt and their crazy relationship and instead of running, he was ready to do battle on her behalf. He was every woman’s dream—smart, successful, sweet, and sexy. What the hell was wrong with her? He was the love of her life and she should be jumping for joy he was back in her life and wanted her and all the baggage she came with. And for the most part she was. Still she kept experiencing fleeting moments of dread. It was her own fault. Guilt crept in on a regular basis, filling up all the open spaces and crevices of her mind. She didn’t tell him everything about the past and even a lie of omission was a lie. Relationships built on lies were doomed to fail.

Monday morning came too fast and Julia was sleep deprived. She went through the day feeling groggy, irritable, and unsettled. In the short time Ethan was back in her life, she became accustomed to hearing his voice and seeing him, neither of which happened until late Monday evening and then their contact was brief. Ethan hit the ground running at the hospital and he didn’t make it home until well past 10 p.m. By the time he was able to call Julia, she was half asleep.

The next four days weren’t much better. She was busy at work and poor Ethan seemed to be running from dawn till well past dusk. Although they exchanged texts and brief phone calls, by Thursday the weekend they shared seemed like a lovely dream. She almost wondered if it actually happened. Julia’s body remembered just fine. Every time she recalled how he touched and kissed her, her entire body warmed all over again and she ached for his touch.

On her lunch break Thursday, Julia returned a call from Leslie Donaldson, an attorney specializing in child custody Lexi recommended. They spoke briefly and made plans to meet the following week for an official intake. Talking about fighting for custody made Julia anxious and she lost her appetite. She was tempted to call Ethan to see how his day was going and to tell him about her conversation with Ms. Donaldson, but after staring at her cell for ten minutes, she decided it could wait until the evening. Although she and Ethan hadn’t made any specific plans, she thought she would see him that night for a quick dinner. She was wrong.

Right before she picked up Lilly from the sitter, she received a text from Ethan saying he was invited to dinner with the Chief of Staff and had no choice but to go. He asked how she and Lilly were doing. Feeling anything but cheerful, she forced herself to sound peppy and sent a text back saying all was well, not to worry about them and to have a good dinner. Then she told herself to get a grip. They were both busy people, this was to be expected. Unfortunately, the lecture she gave herself wasn’t convincing because her mood plunged even lower.

It was late by the time Julia got Lilly fed, bathed, dressed and in bed. After cleaning up the kitchen and family room a bit, she gave into her bad mood and total body and mind exhaustion. Settling for a glass of wine and a handful of peanuts, Julia lay in bed with the TV on. She vacillated in and out of sleep when she her cell vibrate. She grabbed it sleepily. It was Ethan.

“Hi,” she mumbled as she glanced at the bedside clock and saw it was 11 p.m.

“Hey, I’m sorry I woke you. I wanted to see how my girls are doing.”

His girls
… she loved it when he called them that. The implication of ownership and belongingness warmed her each time he said it. She tried to de-fuzz her brain enough to have a real conversation with him, but she was exhausted and had downed a large glass of wine on an empty stomach.

“We’re okay. Lilly is asleep and I’m almost there. How was your day?”

“My day was fine. Long, but that’s to be expected. Are you all right? You sound funny.”

“I’m fine. I’ve had a long day too. I’m wiped.”

“Okay. I’ll let you go back to sleep then and we can chat tomorrow. Sweet dreams. Give angel a kiss for me in the morning.”

“I will. Goodnight.”

Julia hung up feeling remarkably lonely. The house was silent and felt empty. She grabbed the pillow Ethan had slept on and brought it to her nose. She smelled traces of his cologne and the scent soothed her. She hugged the pillow and fell into a fitful sleep.

Friday morning Julia woke up to the sound of heavy rain pounding the roof. Mother Nature was making a show of force: thunder, lightning, hail, and wind. You name it, it was happening. Lord she hated rain! She considered calling in sick, but thought better of it and dragged herself out of bed. By the time she got out of the shower, she missed a call from Ethan. Although she called him back after she dressed and was attempting to feed a cranky Lilly, she never got a hold of him.

The day went to hell from there. Traffic was a nightmare and she was late dropping Lilly off, late to work, late for a meeting, and then to make things fun, a patient threw up on her. By lunch, she wasn’t fit to be around humans. Noticing it had finally stopped raining, she sat outside on one of the picnic tables behind the hospital and deep-breathed until she felt more settled.

Unfortunately, peace wasn’t in the cards for her. She was forced to listen to a bunch of staff from the pediatric wing discussing a hot new pediatrician who had a sexy smile and smoldering gray-blue eyes, but no wedding band. They discussed Ethan’s many assets openly admiring every inch of his body and she wanted to get up and scream at them, “Hands off and eyes off. He’s mine!” Then she realized she was behaving like a teenage girl, mentally slapped herself, and went back to work.

At 4 p.m. as Julia got in her car, she received a text from Ethan saying he had a late consult and didn’t know what time he’d be done. She rested her head against the steering wheel and sighed in frustration as tears filled her eyes. She was being ridiculous. The man was a physician, what did she expect? His hours were going to be shit for a while. He had to re-establish himself in a new city. It wasn’t his fault.

The more she thought about it, the more frustrated she became with herself. She didn’t want to want or need someone like this again. Becoming dependent on someone for her happiness couldn’t be healthy. Her foul mood wasn’t due to a bad day, or even missing Ethan, but of being scared of her growing feelings for Ethan. The problem was her heart knew what it wanted and as usual it acted alone, not consulting with anyone before it gave itself away. She loved Ethan and when she wasn’t with him, she felt like she was stumbling through the day like a blind person.

As if reading her mother’s mood, Lilly adopted the same outlook on life and was irritable and difficult to deal with from the second Julia picked her up. She refused to sit in her car seat and no amount of reasoning or bribing seemed to work. Finally, Julia wrestled her into it and listened to her scream all the way home. At home, Lilly picked at her food, barely eating any of her dinner. Looking at her daughter, Julia knew she would have a devil of a time getting Lilly down for the night unless she was able to change both of their moods.

Julia started a bubble bath for Lilly and then hopped in with her. That did the trick, at least part way. They played in the bath with the variety of toys Lilly amassed until the water cooled. Then Julia dragged them both out, wrapping a now-crying Lilly in a fluffy towel and slipping on her bathrobe. She sighed, then put Lilly’s PJs on and broke a cardinal rule and let the child sleep in bed with her.

As she got them situated under the covers with Lilly holding tightly to George, Julia’s cell rang. The second Julia saw Ethan’s picture flash on the screen, she felt the weight of the world shift off her shoulders. All it took was a second, however, before nimble little fingers snatched the phone out of her hands and began tapping on the screen while happily crying out, “E! E!”

Julia wrestled the cell out of Lilly’s hands as she answered the call and turned on the speakerphone.

“E!”

“Hi, Angel, how did you hijack your mama’s phone?” Ethan’s laughing voice came over the phone.

“E! Come!” Lilly ordered as she continued to wrestle Julia for the phone.

“Hi, Eth. I’m here. I’m having some issues with little miss demanding today.” Julia’s voice was weary as she tried to be heard over Lilly’s continuous yelling for Ethan and the phone.

“Angel, you’re wearing Mama out. Be a good girl and settle down so I can talk to her and then I’ll talk to you. Okay?”

“Okay,” Lilly said and immediately settled back on the pillows, stuck her thumb in her mouth, and cuddled with George.

“You have to tell me how you get her to do that. She and I are in my bed because she has worn me down. This is the first time all night where she is actually looking angelic. This baby whisperer thing you’ve got going should be bottled and sold somehow.”

Ethan chuckled and said, “Hi, beautiful. You sound tired. What’s going on with you girls?”

Julia took the phone off speaker and Lilly lost it and let out an ear-piercing, “Nooo, Mama. My E. Nooo.” Then she burst into tears.

Seeing Lilly unraveling, Julia quickly put the phone back on speaker. “Ethan, for God’s sake man, say something. Have pity on me and talk. I made the mistake of taking you off speaker and she’s become unglued. I don’t get it.”

“Angel baby, what’s this all about?” Ethan’s low soothing voice came over the cell.

“E, mine,” Lilly sobbed.

For a few seconds both Ethan and Julia were silent, stunned at what Lilly said. But Ethan recovered.

“Lilly? Angel mine? Stop crying. I’m here sweetness. How about I tell you a story?”

Lilly stopped crying and with little sniffles and a sad little voice said, “Okay, E.”

Lilly settled back against the pillows with her thumb back in her mouth and George clutched tightly to her. Julia lay next to Lilly and gathered her in her arms, waiting for Ethan to begin his story. As Ethan told Lilly the story of the
Three Little Bears
, Ethan-style, Julia watched her daughter’s eyelids become heavier and heavier and then close.

Lilly said everything Julia wanted to say with that one word,
mine
. Lilly staked her claim on Ethan, just as he, seconds later, claimed her as his,
angel mine
. Julia’s heart ached for her child who never cried like this for her own father, but knew where she could find love and without hesitation reached out and grabbed it. She wished she were as brave as her girl. Her day had been shit because she started it without him and she felt his absence deep all day. Now, like her child, she was soothed by the sound of his voice.

“Jules,” Ethan’s soft whisper broke into her thoughts.

Julia glanced at Lilly. She was deep in slumber. Julia took Ethan off speaker. “Hey, Ethan. Thanks. She’s asleep. You’re off speaker now.”

“Glad she’s down. Now what’s going on with you two? What happened today?”

Julia hesitated. She didn’t want to sound needy, but the truth was she needed Ethan. He knew her too well and would know if she lied. It was now or never. She took a deep breath.

“Jules? Come on baby. Just tell me.”

“I’m well, that is … I think Lilly and I missed you,” she said, trying to get the words out as fast as she could before she chickened out.

When he didn’t say anything and there were a few seconds of total silence, Julia panicked. Had she misread him, misunderstood him somehow?

“Ethan, I’m sor—”

“Julia, don’t finish that sentence. Come downstairs and open your front door. I’m here.”

“What? You’re here?”