Ripper (26 page)

I like to say they saved me, but sometimes I wonder because the truth of the matter is I don’t have those scars either.

The dream was gone, but the feelings were still riding me hard. I wanted to stop talking, to stop the unwanted emotions from swamping me. I wanted…Gray.

I sat up and turned around to face him. I reached out and traced the hard line of his jaw. His face was all angles and planes. If you studied his features separately he was too hard to be handsome, but something about Gray softened the ultra masculine lines and made him beautiful. I leaned in and pressed my lips against his. His callused hands found my hips and stroked up to my waist. We kissed for a moment, our tongues tangling, and though I wished I could stay there for hours, I knew that wasn’t what men wanted.

Men liked it fast and hard and they wanted a woman who did, too. I reached over and turned off the light.

“Hey,” Gray protested.

“I want you.” I pulled the T-shirt over my head. I felt much bolder in the dark. I was determined to have him and to be the kind of lover he wanted. I couldn’t be the kind of woman he needed, but maybe I could give him what he required in bed. The last thing he would want is to waste a bunch of time kissing.

I stood up and slid out of my panties. I let my hands find the band of his briefs and tugged them until his cock came free. I felt the full length of him. He gasped as I squeezed his erection. He was big. He was much bigger than I’d ever had before and I didn’t have the addition of alcohol as a lubricant, but I was determined. I straddled him and, before I could convince myself it was a bad idea, I reached down and forced myself onto his incredibly hard dick.

“Kelsey,” I heard him say and it didn’t sound sexy. It sounded a little like a protest.

I wasn’t moving fast enough. It hurt, but I tried to work my way onto him. I had him about halfway in when he flipped me over forcefully and he pulled out. The light came on. I felt my body flush when I realized he was furious.

“What the hell was that?”

Embarrassment flooded my system, so much worse than anything I’d felt before. I knew I wasn’t great in bed, but I’d never had a man shove me away and ask what I was doing. It was usually obvious. I managed to sit up and reached down to grab the sheet. I pulled it calmly up to cover my body. Calm. That was the key to getting through this debacle. I didn’t do what I wanted. I wanted to cry. I wanted to run and lock myself in the bathroom because I’d made a complete fool of myself. I wasn’t sure what I had done to offend him because he’d been hard as hell, but he obviously didn’t want to have sex with me.

I shrugged as casually as I could. “Sorry, I misread the signals. Oh, well, can’t be sexually compatible with everyone, I guess.”

His jaw dropped open at the comment and he spent way too long a moment looking at me. I wished the light could have stayed off because I felt completely naked under his scrutiny. I had to look away and I wished he would leave. I thought about getting up and walking out. It was almost morning as it was. I could call Liv to come get me. I stayed where I was because I didn’t want him to see me naked again. It was obvious I wasn’t his type.

His voice came out on a low growl. “What the hell have you done to yourself, baby?”

“What does that mean?” I asked irritably. I had to find the one guy in the world who wanted to talk about his freaking feelings.

Gray sat down on the bed again and he reached out to take my hand. I wouldn’t give it to him, so he settled his palm on my knee. He seemed calmer, but I thought getting the pity lecture might be worse than actually having him angry with me. “Have you ever made love, sweetheart?”

I laughed. “Don’t be ridiculous, Gray. I’m not a virgin. I’ve had sex before.”

“With anyone who gave a shit about you?’

Now I was pissed because he’d hit the nail on the head and I didn’t want to face that fact. I no longer cared if he saw my tits. I pushed his hand off me.

“Fuck you, Gray,” I said with every intention of getting out of the house.

Any softness in his face was replaced with iron-hard will. As I started to get up, his hand shot out and grabbed my ankle. Before I knew what was happening, his full weight pinned me to the bed and he used his hands to twist something around my wrists. It happened so quickly. Before I could take a breath, I was on my back with Gray pressing me into the mattress. My hands were bound tightly together with what looked like black lace.

I stared up at the sight of my hands, too shocked at the moment to be truly pissed off. “Are those my panties?”

Gray didn’t move, continuing to use his two hundred twenty pounds of pure muscle to hold my one twenty down. He leaned to the side and I heard the nightstand drawer open.

“They are, indeed, sweetheart.” His erection was even harder than it was before and I hadn’t thought that was possible. He twisted his hips to grind it against my pelvis. “Those are your pretty little panties and these are my handcuffs. Regulation Ranger issue.” He snapped one around the material between my wrists and the other he clipped to the wrought iron in the headboard. My arms were completely useless, held over my head and locked to the bed. He felt safe enough to get up and look down at his handiwork.

I was completely naked to his roaming eyes. I’d never felt quite that naked before though I certainly had been. Sex had been quick. Get the clothes off. Get the deed done. Gray hadn’t gotten that memo. He left the light on and sat back, his eyes on my body.

“I think I’ll take charge now.” He leaned over and covered my mouth with his. I had nowhere to go and no way to protest so I got to do what I wanted to do in the first place—enjoy the feel of his mouth on mine.

The man knew how to kiss. Slow at first, like he was softening me up and he was. The longer he brushed his lips against mine, the more I relaxed. I let go of what had happened before when his tongue dragged over my lower lip and he started whispering to me.

“You’re too beautiful, Kelsey. I can’t go fast. I want it to last. I want it to last forever.” His hands framed my face, like I was something precious and had to be handled with delicacy. “I could kiss you forever.”

His tongue plunged in, twisting around mine, like muscular velvet stroking into me. He held my head in both his hands, keeping me still for his plundering. Over and over again he kissed me. Until I caught his rhythm and we were in tune. I breathed when he did. My heart seemed to time to his. Intimacy. I didn’t understand the word before Grayson Sloane kissed me.

He finally sat up with a satisfied smile and one hand reached out to tweak my nipple.

I hissed at the sensation. It was part pain, but after the first little flare, the sensation seemed to go straight to my pussy.

“Now let’s talk about how this is going to go, my love.”

“Do you often tie women up, Gray?” Of all the things I’d expected him to do, this hadn’t even been on the list.

His smile was sensual and his accent deepened when he was aroused. “As often as they’ll let me, darlin’. I like it. You look so fucking gorgeous like that. Later, I’ll tie your legs down, but this first time I want them around my waist, squeezing me when you come. And you will come. I’ll make sure of it.”

Wow. That did all sorts of things to my insides. I felt a warm rush of arousal as my pussy came alive at the thought of him inside me. I lusted for this man. Before I simply wanted the physical release of sex and the nearest available guy would do, but now there was only Gray.

He was so beautiful and I wasn’t.

I worried no one else would ever do it for me after him. I also worried that I had no idea how to give him what he wanted. Arousal fled a little as doubt came roaring back. I hadn’t made love before. He was right about that. I’d degraded myself because somewhere deep down I thought I deserved it. Gray was offering me something completely different and it was terrifying.

“All right, you had your fun, lawman. Untie me.”

“Is my tough girl scared?” He reached out and let his fingertips brush across my chest, making my skin tingle all over. “Do you want out so you can run away and pretend you’re not vulnerable to me? That’s not happening. It’s obvious to me you have no idea what you’re doing and I aim to teach you.”

“Go to hell, Gray.” I pulled at the bindings on my wrists. If I was really honest with myself, I didn’t try hard.

His eyes went dark and serious. “I’ll get there, baby, but I’m not going until you understand a few things.” He knelt on the bed and placed his big hand on my belly. I practically quivered at his touch. “Listen to me and listen well. I love you, Kelsey Atwood. I love you and I’m going to fuck you.”

“That doesn’t sound so loving to me.” Fuck wasn’t a word I associated with love.

He leaned over and kissed my shoulder, moving to my neck. “Only because you don’t know the difference between getting laid and spending hours fucking someone you can’t live without. I’m going to love you until you don’t remember what your pussy felt like without my cock in it.” He trailed his hand down and gently slid his middle finger across my clitoris, parting my labia and delving inside. He sighed. “That’s better. When you jumped on me you weren’t even wet. It’s not supposed to hurt. Don’t you look at me like that. I’m not judging you. I’m telling you that I’m different from some guy in a bar. I love you. I’ll take care of you.”

I took a deep breath and decided to play things differently. My instinct was to run, to push him away because I already felt too much for him. But I couldn’t walk away from Gray and not only because he was really good with bondage. If he broke my heart at least I’ll have loved someone, just once.

 I nodded.

“Thank you, sweetheart,” he said almost reverently. He stood and moved to the end of the bed. His hands ran up my legs and I sighed because it felt good and warm everywhere he touched me.

I let my head fall back. “You can let me out, Gray. I won’t fight you.”

He raised my foot up in his hand. “Hell no, Kelsey. I got you where I want you. Like I said, I’d tie your legs to the post, too, but I have plans for them. I’ll go easy on you tonight, but eventually I intend to introduce you to some…exotic play.”

“Just how kinky are you, Grayson Sloane?”

His lips tugged up in a dirty little grin. “I have a kink or two, but I promise you’ll like them.”

“Are you one of those dominant people who’ll expect me to kiss your feet and call you master?” We needed to get that straight right off the bat. I wouldn’t be doing any of that. I was willing to discuss other things, but the master bit was not negotiable.

“If you’re asking if I want to be in charge, then yes. I want to be in firm control of our sex life. I get the feeling I won’t be in control of anything else. I’ll want to tie you up and eventually I want to spank that pretty ass of yours. I know what I’m doing. I will never ask you to kiss my feet, Kelsey,” he promised as he held mine. “But I will always kiss yours.”

He sucked my toe into his mouth and I gasped. I had never thought of my toe being even vaguely erotic, but I had been wrong. He flipped me over on my belly, the restraint he’d improvised twisting smoothly and allowing the action.

“What are you doing?”

“I’m kissing you. Are you going to ask me a question every two minutes?” He licked and kissed his way up my calf. When he got to the back of my knees, he pressed his tongue there and I nearly came off the bed. “Because if you are, then I’m thinking about getting you a gag.”

“That’s rude,” I said even as I squirmed under his assault. One hand firmly caressed my ass. I tried to breathe, to get enough oxygen into my lungs that they would start to function again.

He kissed up the length of my spine, running his tongue along my curves as though he was prepared to taste every inch of me. There was nothing for me to do but lie there and let him worship me. That’s what it felt like. It felt like adoration, like I was worthy. Yes, what was happening was sexual, but Gray was right. There was so much more to it.

He flipped me over again and when I glanced down, his face hovered on my pussy. He breathed in deeply and closed his eyes but not before I saw a rush of satisfaction.

“Spread your legs for me, Kelsey.” He was up on his knees and I could barely take my eyes off the sight of that big cock jutting out proudly from between his legs. It curved about halfway up his flat stomach. His hand came out and stroked it up and down while he waited for me to comply.

I knew what he wanted. I wasn’t sure it was something I wanted to do. I hadn’t liked it at all the one time a guy had tried it on me. It was awkward and he’d bitten me a little too hard.

“I don’t like that.” I pressed my legs firmly together.

“I didn’t ask you what you liked,” Gray said and I could feel he was being patient with me and that his patience was rapidly coming to an end. “I told you to spread your legs. You promised to trust me. Give me two minutes. If you don’t like it, I’ll stop. Now, obey me and spread your legs or that exotic play might come sooner than you think.”

His voice had reached a dark, deep place and I was fairly certain he’d threatened to spank me. Though I certainly wouldn’t have admitted it to him at the time, the idea kind of got me hot, too.

Two minutes. I could last two minutes. It would be embarrassing, but Gray wanted it and maybe part of pleasing Gray was taking risks. With conscious will, I forced my legs apart and allowed Gray to slide his body between them.

“You’re so pretty.” I could feel the warmth of his breath on my sensitive flesh. He kissed me lightly and I tried to not shake. Again, I should have listened to him. This felt one hundred percent different than some drunk guy. He didn’t dive right in and I started to think that Gray didn’t do anything fast. He took his time, enjoyed himself fully.

“I’m going to shave you,” he promised, rubbing his fingers across the curls on my pussy. “You’ll be gorgeous bare and I’ll be able lick every inch of you. I want you to think about that for a minute. I want you to think about how good it will feel when my tongue dives deep inside. I can fuck you with my tongue. I can worship you, licking every sweet inch of this pussy.”