Ripping Pages (14 page)

Everyone in the theater was extremely nice, and I really got along with Laura. She was also from Texas. She was twenty-three, from Dallas, and she had lived in New York for about three years. She was beautiful—slender with curly blonde hair and striking green eyes.

They had lunch brought in from the deli down the street, and Laura and I spent lunch getting to know each other a little better.

The day turned into night, and I realized that I hadn’t checked my phone in a while, remembering Van wanted to take me out to dinner.

Seth told us we could pack up to go home and to meet back in the morning at eight a.m.

As I was leaving and waving my goodbyes to my new friends, Seth came up behind me. I spun around and there he was, a little too close for comfort.

What the hell was up with these guys lately. First Josh and now Seth.

“Can I help you with something, Seth,” I said not wanting to be rude to my boss.

“Actually, since you’re new here, I wanted to take you out to dinner.” His voice dripped with suggestion and I wanted to run away. First of all, I could have sworn he was gay. I guess I was just naïve.

I stuttered as he stared at me intently waiting for my answer, “I—oh, I’m sorry, Seth. But I have plans already.”

I gave him a small smile.

“Boyfriend?”

“Yes, sorry.”

Whether I was apologizing for having a boyfriend, or for declining his dinner invitation, I wasn’t sure. I guess I should have been flattered. I mean, Seth was delicious and sexy, but he was not my Van.

Crap. Van.
It was already well past nine p.m., and he hadn’t heard from me since around two.

I quickly called him. His voice when he answered sounded husky from sleep, and I instantly wasn’t hungry for food anymore.

“Hey, Sweetness,” he said, his voice raspy.

Why was a guy’s sleepy voice seriously the sexiest thing ever?

“Hey baby. Are you already sleeping? Without me?” I laughed.

“Damn, what time is it?”

“It’s only nine. Sorry we were so crazy busy today, and I didn’t realize what time it was. Do you still want to go eat, or do you want me to grab you something on my way.”

“I’ll order us some Chinese. Just get your sexy little ass over here.”

“Yes sir, bossy.” I giggled.

“That’s right.”

I hung up the phone and grabbed my things and headed for the door. Seth was waiting for me.

I ducked around him and out the door.

“Night, Seth. See you tomorrow.”

“Night, Tinley,” he mumbled.

I hailed a cab and practically jumped out of the moving vehicle, past the doorman, and up to Van’s penthouse.

I knocked softly.

The door opened and there stood every girls fantasy in the form of my boyfriend.

He was shirtless and those rippled muscles that went all the way down past the low-slung South Park pajama pants he was currently sporting, were glistening with beads of water. My mouth immediately went dry, and I suddenly wanted to quench my thirst with the water dripping off him. Inch by magnificent inch.

Snapping me out of my gawking, Van laughed. “Enjoying the view?”

I laughed and feigned innocence. “I have no idea what you’re referring to.”

“Come here.” He grabbed me and kissed me…
hard.
He felt every part of me, his hands everywhere. It became intense and fast. Even though we’d seen each other not twenty-four hours ago, it was as if we couldn’t get enough of each other. We needed each other to breathe.

We pulled away, panting.

Van cupped my face in his big hands and kissed my nose and then my forehead. Leaving his lips there he whispered, “I missed you. How was your first day?”

He pulled back and grabbed my hand leading me to the couch.

Sitting in the middle of the coffee table was a dozen purple orchids in a silver vase and a small blue box sitting in front of it.

Seeing the Tiffany box made a tiny pang in my chest because it reminded me of James and the ring he left for me before he actually left
me
.

Just the night before, after Van had left, I had done some unpacking. There were several small boxes that had come from my closet. One in particular left me crying for quite some time. I had been trying to make one trip from the far side of my room to my closet to put them away so I carried far too many than I should have. Me, being a klutz, tripped over a shoe on my way and dropped all the boxes. The top and smallest one flew across the room, scattering the contents all over the floor. That was my James box. I knew I should have just gotten rid of the memories as James got rid of me, but I could never bring myself to do it. There were notes and little mementos. Concert and movie tickets. Dried red roses from the many times he had surprised me. Deflated helium balloons from when I was sick. Cards from birthdays and anniversaries. I picked them all up and dumped them back into the box. Only one thing remained on the floor from that box. The envelope where James had ended everything. The one I had sealed shut with the engagement ring still inside that I couldn’t bring myself to sell. I held it and broke open the envelope reading the words over and over again.

Tinley,

I'm so sorry Baby.

Please know that I am not trying to hurt you.

I will love you forever.

Would it always hurt when I thought about James? No matter how fantastic Van was, would I always have a spot in my heart for my first love?

I internally slapped myself out of it. Here I was sitting next to this amazing man who was giving me a present, opening himself up to me, and knowing this was a big deal to him.

I smiled. “What is this, Mr. Whitaker?” I asked in awe.

“This, Miss Michaels, is for you.” He grabbed the box and gestured for me to sit next to him. He handed it to me as he scooted closer to me. I propped my right leg under my butt and sat my left foot in the floor so I was facing him.

“Open it.”

My smile was huge as I slowly opened it.

I couldn’t believe what I was looking at. It was so simple, but it meant more than I could say.

Van had gotten me a real Tiffany bracelet.

It had three beautiful charms dangling from the silver links.

The first charm was the thematic masks they use for theater to symbolize comedy and tragedy. It was black and white. The second charm was an apple to symbolize the Big Apple and the third charm made my tummy flip. It was a yellow taxi.

I looked up at him.

“I got you that because that night when I helped you out of the cab was when I really knew you were something special. That was when I knew I had to get to know you. I knew that you were going to be mine.”

I swooned as he grabbed the bracelet gently from me. “Hold out your wrist.”

He stared into my eyes as he clasped the accessory around my arm. He flipped my hand over, palm up and placed a kiss to the inside of my wrist.

He lifted me up and threw me over his shoulder, caveman style, taking me up to the very top floor to the crow’s nest balcony. I gasped when he placed me on my feet. The balcony looked out to the Manhattan skyline and all around the patio floor was a huge blanket and our Chinese food set out next to my Moscato D’Asti and frozen berries.

“You’ve thought of everything, haven’t you?” I teased and lifted to my tip-toes to kiss his cheek.

Van and I never did get to eat warm Chinese food that night, but let’s just say, we satisfied our appetite in other ways.

When we made it to Van’s bedroom, we lay there, cuddling and talking.

I wanted to tell him where I was coming from when we first met and the reasons I was so afraid to try with anyone again.

“Van, remember the first time we, you know?”

“Did it?!” He laughed.

“Yeah…”

“Sweetness, how could I forget? That shit was fucking epic.”

“Whatever. You are so full of it.” I teased him pushing his shoulder. “No, but really. I feel like I need to let you in a little bit. So you know why I seem so guarded sometimes.”

He looked at me sincerely and gently grabbed my wrist, kissing the inside of it. “Go ahead. I’m listening, Sweetness.”

I took a slow, deep breath, and then I proceeded to spill my guts of all my fears, about James and my father, to the only person I knew who could either make or break me. He now held my heart is his hands, and I just prayed like hell that he didn’t crush it to pieces.

When I was done, he looked at me with sadness and empathy. “I’m so sorry, baby. I had no idea. I just want you to know that what I said in there, I meant it. Everything. I promised I would never hurt you. I will never leave you. Ever. I swear.”

I kissed him with tears streaming down my face.

He looked solemn all of the sudden.

“You know,” he started, “I’ve only been in love once. Long story short, she broke my heart, and I never got over it. Not until you, that is.” He smiled but I could see the pain he had tucked away. This girl, whoever she was, had done a number on him. “So that’s why I slept around. That’s why I never wanted to be close to anyone. She ruined me. And then I saw you and I knew that you were supposed to be with me. I knew you were my new beginning.”

He brushed his lips gently with mine, and my lips parted. He deepened the kiss, plunging his tongue desperately into my anticipating mouth. He kissed me differently. It was as if he were trying to let go of old hurts and start over. I followed. Here we were, two broken people trying to mend our shattered hearts together to make them whole again.

We made love that night and it was incredible.

Once we had finished and were cuddling up together, I blurted out something I had never told anyone, and I certainly had never planned to tell Van. Ever.

“I used to listen to your songs when James and I…”

That got his attention. He flipped me over onto my back and kissed the hollow of my neck.

“Oh, really?”

I grabbed a pillow and threw it over my face. “Yes,” I said, the pillow muffling my voice.

“Tinley,” he said in a teasing tone. “Did you ever listen to it when you were by yourself?”

I nodded under the pillow.

He snatched the pillow from me. Kissing me quickly on the lips and biting my bottom lip he asked, “And did you ever come listening to me sing to you?”

I swallowed hard and nodded, looking away.

He gently grabbed my chin making me face him. “That is so fucking hot. I think we need to do something about that.”

“What are you talking about?” I asked confused.

“Well, you haven’t had the real thing in front of you. I want you to come while I sing to you.”

I blushed furiously. “Van,” I whined.

“Sweetness,” he warned teasingly as he made his way down my body humming and singing the chorus to one of the band’s sexiest songs.

Yep. The real Van singing and making me feel good was much better than me alone with the radio.

The next day, I went home after rehearsal. Tatum was home. I missed her. I had been texting her back and forth.

I walked into the kitchen to find my model cousin, the one who didn’t have a domestic bone in her body, cooking chicken and dumplings… from scratch.

“What the hell are you doing, whore?” I laughed as she jumped and turned around.

“Oh my God, Tinley. You bitch. You scared the shit out of me.”

I went to hug her flour covered self.

“How was Belize and the photo shoot?”

“Oh, gosh, Tin. It was amazing. So beautiful. I brought you a little souvenir.”

“Aww,
you
so sweet,” I teased.

“How’s that hunk of sexy rock star you’ve been bonin’?”

“Wonderful,” I sighed dreamily. “And how is this mystery man you’ve been seeing?”

“He’s amazing,” she said, starry eyed. “He’s actually coming over for dinner. You want to join us?”

“Oh, no. Thank you. I have to go to the café’ tonight. Have fun, though. I’m going to take a shower and head out.”

“Ok, babe. We need to have a girl day. I never see you anymore.”

I gave her another hug. “That sounds great. Maybe Thursday night after rehearsals.”