Authors: Erin Lark
I closed my eyes, opened them again, but the image was the same. The noises around me were muffled, almost as if my ears needed to pop. I opened my mouth. Shifted my jaw from one side to the other. It helped—a little.
Beneath the buzzing in my ears and monitors beeping, I could hear footsteps, dainty ones, as the female who’d spoken to me stepped to my other side. She was accompanied by someone else, but just like everything else, he was a blur.
I winced when something pinched at my arm.
A needle,
I realised once someone rubbed a cloth over the injection point.
“Hold still,” the female said, her voice not nearly as quiet as before.
She lifted my chin so I was looking right at her—or at least the form belonging to her. I blinked and held my eyes open when she gently coaxed me to do so. While she held her fingers just under my eye, I shivered when a cool drop of liquid fell onto my lens.
She did the same to the other eye. “You can close them now. You should be able to see a little better when you open them again, just give me one second.” Her footsteps carried her away from me, and as they did, the lights dimmed. She returned to me moments later. “Okay. Open them.”
Wincing more from the cool air than the lighting, I took my first, sharp look around the room. And as I did, everything came into focus. Not just my eyesight, but everything that had happened up until now came rushing back in a flurry of images.
Krista getting off the bus. Her delicate body crumpled on the floor as she fought against her first shift. Malcom’s betrayal, and later on, his help
.
“Krista,” I began, my voice hoarse. “What are you…what are we doing down in the labs?”
I thought we left.
She offered me a reassuring smile and stroked back my hair from my face before kissing me on the lips. “Welcome back.” She closed her eyes, but the hint of sadness in her voice wasn’t lost on me.
“What happened?” I started to sit up once she unbuckled the straps around my wrists.
“Careful,” Krista warned, holding me in place before I could swing my legs over the side of the chair. “I guess the better question is, what do you remember?”
I frowned and looked past her at Darien. “The DOD.”
“Krista saw to them,” Darien said. “They shouldn’t be a problem.”
“Were they ever a problem at all?” I honestly couldn’t remember.
“Hmmm.” Krista cocked her head to the side. “Your memory’s still a little spotty, but at least you recognise faces. Once Jack learnt about the serum, he was more interested in wiping our memories than trusting us to keep the Ripples a secret.”
“Which explains why I can’t remember shit.”
“It’ll come to you,” Darien said, opening the door to the lab. “I’m going to see if the others need some help.” Then to Krista he said, “I believe Malcom should be aboveground by now, if you want to question him further.”
Krista waved her hand dismissively. “Forget about it. Brian’s memory is coming back, which is all we can hope for. Everything else can wait.”
* * * *
Krista
Brian and I looked on as Darien and his men ushered the other shifters onto a handful of buses, each one destined for a different city. With Malcom’s help, we’d been able to wipe most of the DOD’s memories and restore a fair portion of Brian’s. It was ingenious, really. The memory serum was none other than the virus reformulated. That explained why Malcom had been able to make it without any of us noticing.
That’s why I reacted differently.
When Malcom had told us about how he’d made the serum, Brian had explained how getting a double dose of the virus in varying quantities would be like giving someone a second shot of espresso. My shift was more violent because I’d got a double dose with time in-between so my body could adjust.
For the woman Malcom had killed, on the other hand, the virus and the memory serum combined had been too much. As for the antidote, that was something Malcom couldn’t replicate, not without the proper materials. He’d made enough for one dose—for himself if he ever screwed up. But now that I’d given it to Brian, and with the DOD completely wiped, he’d have to make even more.
He can handle it.
If there was one thing I’d learnt from Brian, it was how resourceful Malcom was. I didn’t doubt he was already planning on where to get the supplies and who to borrow the money from.
As for Brian, he hadn’t shifted since before Jack had given him the serum, but it didn’t matter. He knew everything about the Ripples virus and had no problem remembering me or who I was to him. The shifting could come later, far away from there. And no one was happier to be leaving this place than I was.
Maybe now I can get some sleep.
No more nightmares about getting stuck between shifts or seeing that poor woman die for the hundredth time.
No, the sooner we got away from this place, the better. In the end, the decision to wipe the DOD’s memories had been up to Brian, and he’d quickly agreed that it was best if they didn’t remember about the virus or the shifters. Of course, this had meant transporting them to a new location before they could even begin to remember anything, but that was a small price to pay for our freedom, along with our privacy.
I smiled at Darien when he walked in our direction. “That’s the last of them.”
“Where will you go now?” I asked, hugging him. “Will you come with us?”
He laughed. “Soon. First things first. We need to get Mr Secretary and his men far from here before they can get their bearings.” Darien nodded to Brian. “See you in Montreal in, say…a week?”
I blinked and punched Brian in the arm. “Canada? You really were serious about that, weren’t you?”
“I meant every word,” Brian said, rubbing at his arm, which probably wasn’t as sore as he was making it out to be. “Better if we keep a low profile. At least until we know no one’s chasing after us.”
“Smart.”
“Until then, my friend.” Brian shook Darien’s hand before pulling him into a hug. “Stay out of trouble, eh?”
“Until then.”
* * * *
The mustard paint job, dim lighting and paper-thin walls didn’t matter. Our bodies collided, and there was nothing we or anyone else could’ve done to stop it. We’d reached the drab hotel before morning, and as soon as we’d closed the door, our hands hadn’t been able to move fast enough. We’d fought against clothing we’d packed just before leaving the encampment, with fingers that were too stiff to unbutton buttons and muscles that were so weak from travel, it was a wonder we didn’t collapse right there.
Brian had signed us in while I’d tried to keep my head from spinning. My thoughts were a whirl of confusion, and even after having sat down with Malcom, giving Brian the antidote, and saying our not-for-good-goodbyes to Darien, something inside me hadn’t settled. We could go back home, but home to what? I still couldn’t remember what my life had been like before the virus.
Brian had suggested we take it slow. The first stop on our trip was Montreal, to meet up with Darien then to see Brian’s relatives. But, for now, we played the role of newlyweds from South Dakota who had decided that travelling the United States made a better honeymoon than going to Hawaii. It was a lame story, but one that kept our recent past, the DOD and the Ripples virus a secret. The desk clerk probably didn’t believe us, but at least we looked the part.
We’d left our old names behind. Even though the DOD had had their memories wiped, there was no telling what they might remember later on down the line, and the less paper we gave them to follow, the better.
At least for now, the story he made for us had worked. I sucked in a breath of air when Brian lifted my shirt up over my head. There was no slowing down. No taking our time. All we had was rare tension and a need for release. Exploring, caressing and taking our time could come later. But not now. Not when we were both so in need of one another.
I yelped when Brian pressed me against the door. His lips seized mine moments later, drawing the breath right from my lungs as he moved his hands down to my waist. I removed his shirt while he undid my jeans, but neither one of us bothered to get them down the entire way. I somehow managed to get his pants undone, fishing beneath the fabric until my fingers grazed the head of his cock.
He groaned against my neck before biting at the skin there. My mind tingled, and for a brief moment, I wasn’t sure if I was a snow leopard or still human. Instinct—feral instincts—took over. I might have been in my human skin, but everything about how we moved and how we spoke went back to our ancestors. Primal.
His cock twitched in my hands, filling them as it hardened even more. Using his weight to hold me against the door, he grabbed my wrists and held them over my head. I tried to say something, to tell him the bed would be better. All that came out was a low growl, which pushed him even further over the edge.
There were no words. No conversation. Just bodies grinding against one another. Brian released my wrists to grab a condom he’d got from the bathroom. He tore the foil wrapper with his teeth before rolling the condom on himself. I swallowed. There was no going back. No stopping this. No stopping us. We’d collided in the past, but not like this.
Back then, sex had been a form of release. Expression. But now? Now it was almost as if we couldn’t get enough of one another. I couldn’t touch him enough. Taste his skin enough. Salty with sweat and grime—I didn’t care. It was him—the man I’d fallen in love with more in the last two weeks than during the last couple of months.
It wasn’t just a release this time. This was us. The way we were meant to be. Both human and animal.
Holding my wrists with one hand, Brian guided himself to me, and with one quick thrust, he was inside. I released a breath I hadn’t known I’d been holding, and as he widened his strokes, I rocked my hips as much as the door would allow. By now, my back was arched so much, it was a wonder it didn’t break.
Pressing his other arm against the small of my back, Brian held me in place. He touched his lips to mine. He licked behind my ear, bit my neck. And my body slowly made its ascent into orbit. I sucked at my bottom lip and moaned.
“Fuck…” I said, closing my eyes. “I’m…I…”
“Not yet,” Brian growled against my ear, slamming into me. “Wait for me.”
I actually managed to open my eyes long enough to look back at him. “Always.”
He released my wrists and caressed my cheek. “Have I told you how much I…” He twitched—gained control. “How much I love you like this?”
I trembled as I willed my body to hold back. “As a sub?”
He shook his head, and when he spoke again it was as if talking alone was the hardest thing for him to do in the world. “As my equal.”
I furrowed my brow, but the words I wanted to say were lost under another tremor. I whimpered. Screwed my eyes shut. Bit my lip. I clawed at him with nails that threatened to break his skin. It wouldn’t have been the first time, and he didn’t stop me.
Instead, he quickened his pace, bucking against me so hard I was pretty sure the neighbours heard us.
If they haven’t heard you already.
A moan bubbled up through my chest, one I couldn’t let go.
I was so close—so very close—and it wasn’t even his thrusts, what he did with his lips or what he was doing with his fingers on my clit that aroused me the most. It was him. Every ounce of him. Those eyes. That smile. And most importantly, the way he hovered over me.
I twitched beneath him as white specks flashed along the corners of my eyes. Brian’s shoulders rippled. He wasn’t losing control. He was losing himself, and so was I. With every wave of tension, every quivering muscle, I was that much closer to falling over the edge.
Time had stopped hours ago, and I began to wonder if we’d ever finish at all. We no longer breathed. The air in the room was gone. All that was left were our bodies, and an intense need to be together.
Brian’s lips brushed against my ear. “I wish this could last forever.” His voice was strained. “All night. But fuck…I just…I can’t…”
I leant forwards and kissed him on the neck before biting as hard as I could without breaking the skin. Brian’s Adam’s apple bobbed. He grabbed my hips. Held them. Clawed at them. I bit down again, and in that moment, he let go.
He exhaled, growling so loud I was sure the Brian inside his body wasn’t quite human. Rocking my hips, I drew out his orgasm as far as I could, and when he started to pull away, I bucked one last time and came.
No matter where we were or how uncomfortable it might’ve been, the results would’ve been the same. We’d had sex, and it was the best I’d ever had.
Sex as a free woman always feels better than as one imprisoned in her own body.
Sated and completely at peace with the leopards deep inside, Brian and I removed what was left of our clothes and crawled into bed. And as he stroked my hair and lulled me to sleep with his thrumming heart, I dreamed for the first time. I was still human. I might have had an animal tucked inside, but I was alive. Still alive, and very human.
Also available from Total-E-Bound Publishing:
Lifesong
Erin Lark
Excerpt
Chapter One
I remembered him. My wolf. His silver eyes. His fur warm against my skin and the words he’d spoken to me.
“This is a dream,” I’d said, holding myself upright with the help of a nearby tree. “You’re not real.”
He’d hidden his eyes from me. “Perhaps not, but I’m no dream, either.” When I hadn’t spoken, he’d continued, “You’re awake, child. And though I cannot force you, I’d like you to come with me. The land beneath us is dying, and there isn’t much time. There’s something I need to show you.”