Ripples (DROPLETS Trilogy Book 2) (24 page)

     Yet, a thought interrupted my reasoning and I stopped walking. Zale would always be Zale. He was an entirely different person; he was no different to be near than any other person would be. I stood transfixed, not knowing what to do when a thought pricked the back of my mind as if it came from some part long lost within me. There was one place I could go to be near him and immediately, I turned and ran in the opposite direction.

     The closer I got to the roaring water, the faster my legs pumped. A solid throbbing had wedged its way into my throat and I knew I was going to break down into tears soon. But the need was to mourn, mourn for who he really was, not the one that had been in the cell in Hyvar, but the man that he had been. The recent image of his face from my dream, filled my mind.

     With a small cry, I saw the water up ahead and stumbled toward it. Choking on air and trying to hold back the tears behind my eyes, I found the small pathway of rocks that led to the flat ledge on the other side. A small branch captured my foot and I tripped forward onto the flat, solid rock. And the tears graced my cheeks for the only person who knew of this place with me; the one who had shared his delight in the deep pools below.

     Sniffing loudly, I inched closer to the rock’s edge and dangled my feet into the water. In my mind, I could see him right below me in the sunlight, his eyes reaching mine. There had been a trust, even when he barely knew me, back when I couldn’t tell him the truth of who I was. He had believed I would never hurt him, but he had been wrong.

     I shook my head, trying not to think of what had happened in Hyvar. For too long, I had solely focused on those images. For the first time in what felt like ages, I was able to picture him without the scars, without the pain in his voice. And as the tears fell, they were no longer painful, but joyful in finally being able to remember him without thinking of what had happened.

    “Lissie?” the deep voice of the warrior startled me, from where I sat on the rock. My head swiveled to see Zale crossing the same path I had earlier, to get over to the flat ledge. Thinking quickly, I wiped away the rest of the tears slipping down my cheeks. I knew they left no trails on my smooth skin.

     He reached my side and sat down without a word, but I couldn’t bring myself to look at him. He sighed heavily.

     “I know the feeling,” he said and I felt him shrug, his shoulder brushing my own.

     “What?” I said, looking up.

     “The anger. I can see it in your eyes sometimes when you look at me.” He shrugged again. I felt my mouth fall open, as I tried to form a thought, tried to figure out a way to explain.

     “It’s not you,” I said, feeling ridiculous, “its me.” But it wasn’t enough.

     His mouth quirked at the corner. “That’s exactly what I mean,” he said.

     “You do?” I asked, not sure where this was going.

     “Of course,” he said, his hands rubbed together and I watched them as he shaped his words. “If there’s anything I know, its anger.”

     “I’m not angry,” I pointed out.

     “Yes, you are,” he rebutted and I had to bite my tongue to keep myself from retorting. “I can see it in your eyes. It’s always there when you look at me, even when you try to hide it.”

     My breath caught. How could I have been so stupid to think he would never notice?

     “But it’s okay,” he said, his voice growing deeper. “I know what anger can do to you, how it can cloud your judgment and make you do things.” The words fell from his mouth and I felt he was talking more about himself than me.

     His hands opened, the palms facing up and I could just make them out in the light off the shimmering pool. Head bowed over his hands, I could barely see the grimace on his face.

     “I’m sorry,” he said, “it’s hard for me to explain, but I need you to understand what it feels like, and why I did what I did.”

     I waited patiently, not sure of how we had reached this place, not sure of what he was speaking of, but I wanted to know.

     “I live in a cloud of anger,” he began, abruptly. “Whenever I am in Hyvar, I can barely think or feel. My mind is distanced from my body and I do things without realizing what I’m doing.” His hands still lay open on his legs.

     “I hadn’t felt anything, until,” he stopped and turned to look at me, I could just barely see his eyes. He continued, “Until the night you came into my room looking for the human. That was the first moment I actually
felt
something. It was like waking up after being asleep for too long.”

     My breath caught as I remembered back to that night on Hyvar. I could still hear the words he’d said to me, the ones that declared Patrick’s death. If only I had known then he was standing right in front of me.

     “That’s why I came to find you,” his words poured from his mouth. “After you left, I was in the dark again. My body did as it was told and I couldn’t control it. It was only when I thought of you that I could think clearly. And that’s when I left for the first time.”

     “From then on, it was you who kept me sane,” he admitted, and reached for my hand. “I’ve been able to keep the anger at bay because of you, so on the night you said you wouldn’t come with me, I let go.”

     I knew which night he spoke of. A shiver ran down my spine as I remembered the look in his eyes, when he’d stood to leave my brothers’ house. I squeezed his hand in response.

     “The anger took me, and I was lost to it.” Somewhere in the back of my mind I remembered a similar confession. One Patrick had made long ago when he found out the truth about me. That was the day after I had thought I’d lost him. The day he had left the king’s presence in Lathmor, without another look in my direction.

     “When I made it back to Hyvar, I gave in to the anger all around me and banished you from my mind,” he said, and his voice shook with something I had never heard before. “I know what I did in Lathmor. I can still here their screams, but the worst thing I ever did, is there on your throat.” My hand lifted to the cut, where the blade of my own dagger, had pricked my skin.

     “Yes, that.” He nodded. “If you hadn’t made me look at you, I never would’ve stopped. I would’ve killed you.” He looked away and back down onto the water. “I know saying sorry can never cover what I did, but I thought you needed to know.”

     Silence fell between us as we sat side by side holding hands. The rushing waterfall filled our ears, stilling the thoughts that ran through my mind. After wondering for so long, I had my answer. Whether he remembered me from our past or not, there was something in him that called to me.

     The thoughts were overwhelming and it was a long time before I could form a clear thought in response to what he told me. I leaned my head against his strong, broad shoulder and sighed, I had never felt more secure in his presence.

     “Thank you,” I said, knowing he could never know the depths of my thankfulness.

     He chuckled softly, the sound foreign to my ears. I felt his lips press against my forehead. “Can you at least tell me what’s wrong?” he asked, gently.
So he had seen my tears.

    “Not really,” I said and shrugged; the movement awkward next to his large body.

     “And why is that?” He asked, reaching around my shoulders to draw me closer to him. With his other hand, he brushed my chin and turned it upward. I kept my eyes closed feeling his thumb brush over my lips and then his own mouth met mine. He kissed me gently, coaxing me out of my sadness to respond to him. Slowly, I began to react but only lightly; this was nothing like the kisses we had shared in the cave. They were softer, more delicate and cautious; an acceptance for the apology he’d given me. Gradually he pulled away, his breath caressing my lips.

     “Now will you tell me?” The deep voice prodded and I opened my eyes.

     Our gazes met in the darkness and I found a gentleness in his eyes I’d never seen before. Yet, there was a darkness still hidden in them, and I knew in my heart if I was going to love him, then the darkness was part of who he was. But I knew he would never again hurt me, never again would I feel physical pain from his anger. As much as I wanted to tell him why I was crying, I couldn’t. It was private, something for me to treasure with Patrick’s memory. And now, I could remember him as I always should have. The way he was, bright, vibrant and very much alive.

     I shook my head in response to his question.

     “You’re stubborn, aren’t you?” Zale said. “What can I do to make you talk?”

     I raised my head questioning his choice of words and he smiled ruefully. I smiled back in response, when he suddenly scooped me up into his arms and jumped into the crisp pool, taking me under with him. A cry escaped my throat as the dark fabric of my pants split and my legs stuck together, replaced by the lavender of my fins.

     When my head broke through the surface, I glared at him as he treaded water directly across from me, still in human form. Part of me wanted to wipe the smug look off of his face.

     “What was that for?” I said, wanting a real answer.

     “To get you to talk,” he smiled again and I shook my head in annoyance. “See, you just shook your head. Now we’re communicating.”

     I couldn’t help it, I laughed. “That is the worst joke I’ve ever heard.”

     “And yet, you laughed.” He pointed out and I splashed water in his direction, which he dodged quickly. “Although I didn’t expect you to transform so quickly.”

     “I don’t really have a choice in the matter.” I said offhand, while I tried to pull my black shirt over my head. There was no sense in keeping it on when there was no battle to be fought, and the strip of lavender scales that covered my chest provided me with just as much modesty. The wet fabric sucked free from my skin and I threw it on the rock that had so recently been my resting place. When I turned back around, I found him staring at me.

     “What?” I asked wondering if I had done something wrong.

     “Why wouldn’t you have a choice?” He asked.

     “Because I’m not old enough,” I said. My fins flicked back and forth, infinitesimally moving and yet powerful enough to keep my shoulders above the water. “I’m still seventeen and I can’t control my fins yet. As soon as I’m submerged, I transform.” I shrugged as though it was nothing. The look on Zale’s face said otherwise.

     “He changed you when you were too young?” he asked and I nodded. “And against your will,” he muttered to himself under his breath.

     His eyes roved around the scenery looking at everything but me. I looked away for a moment thinking this was all very awkward, when I heard the water change from its constant light lapping from him treading water. Curious I turned back.

     He had taken his shorts and shirt off and was in the process of throwing them onto the grass beside the watery pool. But that was not what captured my attention; instead I was too busy staring at his fins that swayed in the water. They were a midnight velvet, a deep black that shimmered from metallic darkness to a subtle storm cloud. The color matched the black scar on his shoulder perfectly.

     Suddenly his eyes were upon me and a smirk crawled across his lips. “Have you never seen a merman before?” I could tell he was teasing me and decided to ignore the comment with a shrug. In one quick movement, he grasped me about the waist and pulled me against his chest.

     “Or is it only ugly ones you’ve seen?” The cocky grin widened.

     “No,” I said, pretending his closeness didn’t bother me. He was the most attractive merman I’d ever seen. “I just thought you would look better than you do.”

     “In that case,” he said, with one eyebrow raised. “I guess I will have to convince you.”

     “Exactly how do you plan on doing that?” I asked even though I knew what he had in mind. His head was getting closer even as I spoke.

     Before he could reach my lips, I ducked under the water and slipped right out from under his arms. With a giant kick, I shot off toward the waterfall. The water behind me whooshed and I knew he was chasing me. A giggle escaped my lips and once again it was strange for me when no air bubbled out of my mouth. There were some things I believed I would never grow used to.

     He chased me all over the small rocky pool, never quite catching me but coming very close. I knew he was letting me stay out of his reach because he was much faster than I could ever be.

     Finally, he caught me in a vice like grasp and I squealed, much to his delight. I smiled at him and looked at his serious face under the water. His dark brown eyes searched my own while his deep golden hair billowed with the current. Slowly his head lowered to mine and he kissed me passionately, his hands stretched and tugged me closer to his body while my arms wrapped around his neck.

     Our mouths moved in synchronization and our arms locked around one another as though we couldn’t get close enough. He shifted the tilt of his head and began to trail kisses up my cheek near my ear. My breath caught in my throat as his lips slid down my chin and onto my neck. Shifting my head, I glanced beneath our entwined arms and gasped at the sight beneath me.

     Our fins were intertwined in a perfect spiral of black and lavender; it was otherworldly and mesmerizing. My lavender scales sent a shimmer of brightness onto the black metallic that wrapped around it. The long muscular tails flicked together in rhythm with the lapping water. I could feel the solid stability of his tail against my own. Every scale seemed to be aware of him and trembled with something I couldn’t explain. Unconsciously, my own tail tightened around his as my fingers slid around his shoulders  to rest against the ridged scars of his back.