Rising Heat (83 page)

Hawks smiled and nodded, although I could tell that he wasn’t focused on me. He was glancing around the room, probably still looking for some kind of a camera or listening device. I prayed there was no camera in the room or whoever was watching would know that I had no intention of staying the night in Hawk’s office.

I saw that I had a query from a new potential client that had been sent from my website. I clicked it open, glanced at Hawk and lifted a finger, gesturing that I would only be one more minute. I glanced at the query and froze.

Barely able to hold back the shudder of horror and fear that swept through me, I could only stare. Hawk obviously saw the change in my expression and quickly hurried over the desk and stood beside me to read what was written in the query box.

You can’t hide from me.

I
couldn’t stop myself.

“What does that mean?” I exclaimed, striving to keep the rising fear for my voice as I looked at Hawk. It was a waste of breath. I knew exactly what it meant.

He gestured for me to be quiet, placing his finger over his lips. But I didn’t want to be quiet. I wanted to shout, to scream, to demand that the creep be caught. Now. He knew what I did for a living. How had he gotten the address to my website? My URL didn’t even have my full name on it. In fact, it was TWWebsiteCreations and that was it.

I glanced up at Hawk, who pointed to the ‘sender’ section of the query form. It was empty. It sounded stupid, because the question didn’t have any answer but it blurted out of me anyway. “Why is he doing this to me? What did I do to him?”

Hawk shook his head. “I don’t have an answer for that, Tracy.”

He gestured toward the overnight bag. I glanced at him and in my daze, I wasn’t quite sure what he wanted. Then he gestured to the door before putting his finger to his lips again. I took a deep breath, forcing myself to be calm.

I glanced down at the laptop, then back up at him. I wanted to invoice my client, but at the same time, I wanted to get the hell away. Was there no place safe from this guy? I couldn’t go home, couldn’t go to a motel, and now I was even afraid of Hawk’s office. How did this cretin know where I was all the time?

I left the computer turned on as Hawk had told me to, stood, and then walked toward the door, reaching down for my overnight bag as I did so. I was getting angry. No, more than angry. Totally pissed. I wanted this guy caught. I wanted him caught now. I wanted my life back!

Without a word, we exited his office, Hawk closing and locking the door behind us. I took the stairs first, my tennis shoes not making any noise on the stairs. Behind me, Hawk’s boots clumped loudly. I opened the door and emerged into the quilt shop. I didn’t see the owner’s son anywhere, but as usual, the older woman was puttering around, straightening shelves, fluffing fabrics, whatever. She glanced over her shoulder when she heard us.

“Leaving so soon?”

I didn’t say anything, but offered another polite smile as I headed for the front door. Hawk offered a brief wave, then closed it behind me.

“My Jeep,” he said.

I headed for the passenger side, my heart pounding, my legs feeling once again like wet noodles. Sure, I felt safe at Hawk’s cabin, as isolated as it was, but I couldn’t live there.

I made a decision. If this situation couldn’t be solved in the next few days, I would have to take drastic measures. I couldn’t live like this. Not just because I couldn’t work nor because of money, but because this was taking a huge emotional and mental toll from me. I hated to think of abandoning my grandmother’s house, but until this guy was caught, it might be best if I left the area.

Maybe if I left, the guy would give up, lose focus on me. The only problem with doing that was the chance he would focus on someone else. I didn’t want anyone to be stalked by this guy. I knew firsthand how it felt. I didn’t wish it on anyone, but I wanted his attention off of me! I felt guilty about that.

Hawk started his Jeep in and pulled out of the parking space. He glanced at me as he looked over his shoulder before pulling out onto the street. “What are you thinking, Tracy?”

“I’m thinking that I should leave the area. I can’t live like this, Hawk. I can’t!”

I could feel the panic bubbling up inside me again. Tried once again to tamp it down. It was growing increasingly difficult. My nerves were rubbed raw. It seemed that every time I turned around, the creep knew where I was. How? In God’s name, how?

“I understand how you feel, Tracy—”

I turned toward him, feeling anger, frustration and desperation surging through me. “How can you understand how I feel, Hawk? Did you ever have a stalker, or maybe a killer, set his sights on you? Have you ever been a target of something like this?” I knew that wasn’t fair, but I couldn’t stop myself.

He shook his head. “No, I just had hundreds of bad guys wanting me dead when I was in the military.”

I immediately deflated and watched his knuckles turn white as he gripped the steering wheel. “Sorry, I shouldn’t have said that. And to answer your question, no, I’ve not been in your situation, but I can empathize. Everyone is doing their best to figure this out—”

Anger soared again as I realized he was about to defend the stupid law enforcement officials who were sitting on their asses doing nothing. “Really? You think so? Is that why the cops can’t work with the FBI, and nobody will tell you much of anything other than what Detective Cutter sneaks to you on the side? Is that how this works? If they don’t share information with you, you’re working blind. Your confidential informants are not going to miraculously come up with the identity of whoever is stalking me. We both know that’s not going to happen. This guy is good. He’s careful. He’s torturing me, Hawk! He’s emotionally torturing me!”

He said nothing. After all, what could he say to that? I sighed. “Are we going to let Detective Cutter or Westin know about this latest contact?”

“I’m not sure,” he said.

I frowned. “What do you mean?”

“I didn’t want to mention it, especially since I don’t have any evidence, but there is a slight chance, and I mean really slight, that this stalker or killer is someone with a law enforcement background.”

I stared at him in shock. Law enforcement? Was he saying what I thought he was? That my potential stalker or this nut job killer was actually a police officer? I voiced my dismay.

“We have to consider all possibilities,” Hawk said as he drove out of town. “He certainly knows about protecting his identity, not leaving any forensic evidence behind. He’s obviously aware of the investigation, and he has access to high-tech equipment like the cameras in your house.”

“But you didn’t find anything in your office to indicate the presence of any cameras or listening devices, or anything else?” I hated the desperation that I heard in my voice. I very much wanted him to be wrong.

He shook his head. “Somehow, he’s tracking your movements. I just haven’t been able to figure out how.”

“He has to be following me.”

“We’ll see. Your cell phone, your laptop, anything with electronic capabilities is back at my office. So let’s see what happens tonight. We’ll go to my cabin. Then tomorrow we can—”

“Hawk, I’ve decided. I’m not going to let this guy ruin my life or scare me into hiding forever. At least not yet. If nothing happens tonight, I want to go back to my house tomorrow, at least for the day. I have to work. He wouldn’t try anything in the daytime, would he?”

The muscle in his jaw jumped. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

I snapped, losing my cool. “But what am I supposed to do, Hawk? Let my business die? Go into default on my school loans, my business? My credit card payments? I have bills to pay! I can’t just let everything flounder.”

I knew that Hawk understood what I was saying. I did. I understood that by going back home, I might be putting myself at risk, but I didn’t really know what else to do. I could pick up and move, lock, stock, and barrel, but where? I didn’t have that much money saved up to relocate.

Relocating meant coming up with deposits, security deposits, first month and last month rent. Thanks to this mess, I had already missed paying the bills with due dates on the day all this started . Now I was facing double payments next month, plus fees. I wasn’t rich. Yes, I had Grandma’s house and I didn’t have to pay a mortgage on it, but I did have to pay insurance. I was trying to save up for taxes, maybe even tuck some money away into a retirement account. I didn’t want to live hand-to-mouth forever. I needed security in my life, not only physically, but financially.

“I get it, Hawk. I won’t have to worry about finances or my business reputation if I’m dead, but I’ll be ruined if I just give up. Don’t you see?”

I couldn’t tell if he really understood. After all, it wasn’t happening to him. I was getting defensive, angry, and I didn’t like it one bit. We drove once again into the rural Vermont landscape, but this time its beauty escaped me. All I could think about was making all this stop. I began to think aloud.

“How do we get ahead of this guy?”

“What do you mean?” Hawk asked, glancing at me before turning to watch the road.

“I can’t even believe I’m suggesting it, but is there some way that I might be able to lure him into the open—”

“Are you nuts, Tracy?” Hawk exclaimed. “You mean deliberately putting yourself in dangers path? Turning yourself into bait?”

“How the hell else is he going to be stopped?” I demanded. “Either he’s caught or I’m going to have to move, stay in hiding, look over my shoulder for the rest of my life. Do you think I want that?” I rushed on. “Do you want me to leave another woman open to his targeting? If I’m gone, he’ll lose interest, right? That leaves somebody else in danger, doesn’t it?”

“Tracy, stop and think about what you’re saying—”

I didn’t know what I was thinking. I was just trying to get away. Get away from my fear. “Maybe I just need to be more proactive, stop running from the guy. If I don’t run—”

“Don’t even go there. Risking your life is not the way to solve this.”

“Then you tell me what I’m supposed to do.” My voice was becoming shrill and I forced myself to lower it. “Am I supposed to expect you to babysit me every hour of the day? No. I’ve just about reached my limit. This has gone on long enough. I know it’s only been a couple of days, but it feels like forever. I tell you, I’m not going to deal with this!”

He said nothing, but continued to drive. We wound our way through the thick woods, heading to his cabin. While I had felt secure and at peace at his cabin, at least for a little while, I couldn’t guarantee that feeling was going to last. If the guy was following us, somehow, he’d find me no matter where I was.

How far was this guy going to go? Would he really follow me if I relocated? I had heard of stalkers doing that, but what about killers? I didn’t like the idea of making myself a target, but I didn’t know what else to do. Yes, it was foolish and I wasn’t thinking straight. I was exhausted, mentally and emotionally. Maybe I was just being stupid. Spouting bravado when I felt nothing close.

I decided that maybe a good night’s sleep would be good for me, help me to see things with a little more clarity. The killer had told me that I couldn’t hide from him. Well, that bastard was in for a surprise. There was no way anybody could find me at Hawk’s cabin. At least for the time being. And if it turned out that the killer was right, that I couldn’t hide from him, then we had to come up with a different plan.

By the time we got near Hawk’s cabin, I had calmed down a bit. Being away from Seneca helped a little. As he wound his way through the trees and parked in a copse of pine and poplar, he turned off the engine and looked at me. I could see the concern on his face.

“You okay, Tracy?”

“Yes… no. I don’t know. My mind is racing. I’m full of crazy ideas, none of which are rational. I’m just so unsettled.” I sighed. “Maybe tomorrow things will look different. Right now, I just feel cornered. Trapped. As if there’s no way out. It’s as if I have one of two choices. Either he kills me or he gets caught. And I have a gut feeling that he’s going to tire of these games with me sooner or later.”

Hawk didn’t say anything as he got out of the vehicle and then came around to my side. I grabbed my overnight bag from the floor in front of my seat and handed it to him, and then climbed out of the Jeep. “He said I couldn’t hide from him.” I followed him to the door of the cabin. “How does he know I’ve been hiding?”

He opened the door and stepped back to allow me entry. He immediately closed it and placed the two by fours into the slots. “He didn’t see you for a while. He’s smart enough to figure that you went someplace.” He gestured around the woods. “While I don’t think there’s a chance of him finding this place, I don’t want to underestimate this guy. Neither are the police.”

He placed his hands on my shoulders and peered down at me, his expression serious.

“I want you to know that everyone involved in this case is doing their best to help you, to catch this guy. I know it seems as if we’re spinning our wheels, not getting anywhere, but we’ll find him. I want you to believe that.”

I wanted to believe it. The problem was I wasn’t sure if it would be too late for me by the time they did.

*

After we arrived at the cabin, I sat on the bed, watching as Hawk fixed supper. Nothing fancy. Using some of the canned goods and dried meat in his pantry, he made a surprisingly mouthwatering and aromatic stew. My stomach rumbled loudly. I was hungry and knew I had to feed my body even though my mind was telling me I didn’t want anything.

I did manage to get down a little bit of that stew. It was very good and tasty, but my stomach was just so upset. At the same time, I knew I needed my strength. I decided that I would try, very hard, not to give this stalker, this killer, or whoever he was, so much power over me that I destroyed myself. Maybe that’s what he wanted. Maybe he wanted to watch me crumble, to lose all hope.

“Maybe that’s what he wants,” I muttered out loud, handing the empty bowl back to Hawk. He sat on the floor in front of the fireplace and reached out to take the bowl for me, his brow furrowed.