Risking It All (19 page)

All too quickly, her climax struck, bursting through her, rapturous and freeing. A high-pitched cry wrenched from her throat as she shattered around him, splintering into a million hot little fragments.

Seconds later, a low, guttural groan tore from deep within his chest. His hips arched up one last time, and his hands seized her waist, held her firmly in place, as his release shuddered through him.

Kyle collapsed back against the sofa, taking her with him. His breath came harsh and ragged in her ear, a thin sheen of perspiration clinging to his skin. She wrapped her arms around his waist, rested her forehead in the curve of his shoulder, and clung to him. Half afraid if she let go she’d wake up to discover it all a wonderful dream.

Breathing harsh and erratic, he turned his head, his arms tightening around her, crushing her to him. “I love you, Cecelia.”

He whispered the words into her hair, his breath flowing over her neck as he spoke, but he might as well have shouted them. Warmth bloomed in her chest, and tears pricked at her eyes.

She tightened her hold on him and burrowed further into his chest. “I love you, too.”

***

“What are you doing?”

Ceci’s voice rumbled beneath Kyle’s ear. The laughter she tried unsuccessfully to hold back sent her belly shaking. Meanwhile, her fingers threaded through his hair in an idle fashion, simultaneously soothing and distracting.

“Shh.” He lifted his head and shot her a playful frown before pressing his ear back to her bare belly. “I’m listening.”

It was three in the morning, and they lay in the darkness of his bedroom with nothing between them but the moonlight streaming in through the window. Eight days had passed since she’d decided to give their relationship a chance, and so far, every night he found her waiting for him when he came home from work. What an awe-inspiring sight, to see her beautiful face and gentle smile after a long shift. To be blessed with the pleasure of falling asleep curled around her soft, warm curves. He could definitely get used to this.

Problem was, he couldn’t relax enough to go to sleep. The tension knotting his shoulders refused to let him. A side effect of the emotion that pricked at the back of his mind this week. Guilt. He’d broken his one rule when it came to her—that he wouldn’t get romantically involved with her until he told her the truth. No matter how hard he tried, or how many excuses he told himself, he couldn’t shake the unsettling notion the decision would someday come back to bite him. He’d lied to her when he’d promised to always be honest. What kind of way was that to start a relationship?

“You can’t hear the heartbeat through my stomach, silly.” Her light, breathy laugh echoed through the silence of the room. The sound filled his soul. He liked her happy, liked seeing her smile. He liked even more that he was the one who made her that way.

“I know, but I can’t help myself.” He lifted his head again, peering up at the dark shape of her face. “That was pretty awesome, getting to hear the heartbeat yesterday.”

He’d gone with her to her prenatal appointment the day before. Getting to hear the baby’s fast, steady heartbeat was an amazing experience he wouldn’t soon forget. It solidified her pregnancy, made it more of a reality. Then and there his heart claimed the baby, and the need to make them a family intensified.

“Liked that, did you?” Her fingers glided along his scalp as she slipped them through his hair again.

Ensnared by the sight of her, he settled onto one elbow to drink her in, to burn the moment into his memory. Ceci lay gloriously and unabashedly naked, in
his
bed, the soft moonlight streaking in through the blinds highlighting various parts of her body. She was beautiful.

Unable to resist, he followed the moonlight’s path with the tip of his index finger. Across her collarbone, from one shoulder to the other, then over the soft swells of her breasts. When he dipped into her sensitive belly button, she giggled and tried to squirm away.

He moved up to her side and slid over her, covering her body with his, holding his weight on his elbows. “You realize I’m hooked now, right? When I can, I’d like to go with you to every appointment.”

“Will it have the same effect on you every time?” Her touch light, she dragged the tips of her fingers around his rib cage and up his back, devilment dancing in her eyes. “You barely gave me time to get in the door before you whisked me off to the bedroom.”

She had him, and she knew it. Something about the doctor’s visit brought a strong territorial urge, a primal need to take and mate, to brand her as his again. He couldn’t begin to explain it even if he wanted to.

“All you have to do is walk in the door and smile, and my entire body stands at attention. Haven’t you figured that out yet?” He nipped at the curve of her neck, delighting in the sweet, slightly salty taste of her skin and reveling in her subtle flowery scent. “God, I don’t think I’ll ever get enough of you.”

She rewarded with him a soft mewling that sent a wave of heat straight to his groin, and he lifted his head again, wanting to lose himself in her eyes. He wanted to remember her this way, commit every moment to memory.

She stroked his back, somber for a moment. “It’s odd, being with you this way. Scary and exhilarating at the same time. Like being on a roller coaster, the kind with the three loop-de-loops. It terrifies me, but I can’t stop coming back for more. I’m tired of being afraid, tired of running from my fears. This feels so right, and for once in my life, I’m letting myself go with it.”

“I, for one, am glad.” He kissed her again. “You’re not alone in that feeling. Truth is, it still scares me a little.”

Her thumb caressed over his lower lip in a lazy, thoughtful manner. “Can I ask you something? It’s kind of a dumb question, but . . . I need to hear you say it.”

The somberness of her expression and the tension that suddenly filled the minuscule space between them had unease curling in his gut.

“There’s no such thing as a dumb question.” He sifted his fingers through her hair, smoothing the silky locks away from her face. “What is it?”

She drew in a deep breath. “Does it bother you that the baby’s not yours?”

“He is mine.” He leaned his forehead against hers, staring into her eyes. “In every way that counts. Does it bother you?”

“Yes, because I wish he was.”

“I want to be there for every step of it, Ceci. I want to watch your belly grow, be there when he’s born, all of it. We’ll do this together. The baby may not share my DNA, but he’s very much mine.”

As the tension in her body eased, she reached a hand up and stroked his cheek with lingering tenderness. A soft smile played at the corners of her mouth, her eyes searching his face. “I love you, Kyle.”

Her soft-spoken words washed over him and went straight to his heart. How long had he waited, dreaming of the day when she’d look at him that way? Say those words? He’d never allowed himself to believe the moment would ever arrive. Yet he found himself speechless, unable to do little more than smile in return.

“Ditto.” He whispered the words against her lips and captured them, sipping and tasting, slowly losing himself in the sweet headiness of her mouth.

With a soft moan, her hands slid up his back to clutch his shoulders. Her mouth sought his with a hunger that sent the blood pumping hard and hot through his veins. From there, the kiss gained strength, set the fire blazing between them for the third time that night.

“Love me.” She arched her hips against him, and his body tightened in response, reaching for her heat.

He caught her hands above her head and twined their fingers together, wanting to connect to every part of her. “Already a couple steps ahead of you, Ceci.”

“Will it always be this way?” Hands clutching his like she never meant to let him go, she panted, writhing beneath him. “So crazy, so mindless?”

“God, I hope so.” His own breathing came harsh and ragged as he nibbled on her earlobe.

Being with her this way amazed him. In the span of a few heartbeats, she drove him to the brink of delicious madness yet filled his heart to the point of bursting. Every moment they spent together, every time they made love, brought them closer and deepened the bond between them.

As he caught her gaze and arched into her, beginning their slow descent into oblivion, he knew the moment had arrived. Tonight he’d enjoy his time with her, revel in every second they had. In the morning, when the sun came up, their relationship would no doubt change. He had to tell her the truth and let the chips fall where they may. He could only hope she was stronger than he gave her credit for, that she could handle what he had to tell her, because he couldn’t lie to her anymore. She deserved better from him than a mouthful of lies, and he couldn’t allow their relationship to go any further without telling her the truth. He only prayed that when it was all over, she’d forgive him.

***

Jarred awake by an incessant buzzing, Kyle reached out blindly and slapped the top of his alarm. When the buzzing came again, he pried his eyes open and turned to squint at the clock. The red numbers read 7:05, and it wasn’t buzzing. This time his mind recognized the sound as the doorbell as it sounded yet again, and, with a groan, he pulled himself upright. He retrieved his discarded jeans on the floor and stood to yank them on, buttoning them as he left the room. The doorbell buzzed again, twice in rapid succession.

“I’m coming, I’m coming.” He grumbled in the general direction of the door, shuffling, eyes half open, down the hallway into the living room. Whoever this was had better have a darned good reason to jerk him from the warmth of his bed, not to mention Ceci’s soft curves, at seven in the damn morning.

It had better not be Becca.

He stopped to scrub his face with his hands, trying to rouse himself a bit, and darted a glance out the front window. The sun was up at least, though black clouds covered the sky and a light rain showered the earth.

With a shake of his head, he turned the dead bolt and yanked the door open, only to find Chase on his doorstep. A sight that instantly roused him. Chase wasn’t a morning person, either. Never had been. Their mom used to have to practically drag him out of bed in the morning just to get him to school on time. That he’d come over so early had unease itching at the edges of Kyle’s consciousness. “It’s early.”

“I know. I’m sorry, but I need to talk to you. Figured if I came early enough, Ceci might still be sleeping.” His brother stood before him with his shoulders slumped, his brows drawn together in deep concentration. Like he’d come bearing bad news. He leaned to the right, peering around Kyle into the apartment behind him. “She is here, I take it?”

“She’s asleep in the bedroom.” Kyle stepped back and pulled the door open wider, a hard knot of dread forming in his stomach. Why did he get a bad feeling about this? “What’s up?”

Chase moved past him, and Kyle closed the door quietly before following him into the living room. Chase sank onto the sofa, resting his elbows on his knees. “Good. I’m pretty sure you’d rather she not hear this. She came to me a couple of weeks ago asking me to help her find her parents. She also told me you wouldn’t help her. Now, far be it from me to stick my nose where it doesn’t belong, but I can’t see you refusing her anything.”

His brother’s words hit him like a sucker punch. Kyle dropped into the recliner adjacent to the sofa as the breath rushed from his lungs. Ceci was on the verge of discovering the truth about her past before he had the chance to tell her.

God, how stupid could he be? How could he not have seen this coming? To hear the news from anyone but him would crush her. All the implications of that flooded through him, along with a small measure of relief. At least Chase had come to him with the news first.

“Damn.” Resting his elbows on his knees, he ducked his head and dragged his fingers through his hair.

“I figured you had your reasons, though, and they were none of my business, so I started searching. I found this.” Chase thrust a couple of pieces of paper at him.

A sick feeling twisted in Kyle’s stomach. He didn’t need to ask to know what Chase had found, but he took the papers with shaking hands. As expected, a carbon copy of the same newspaper article he’d found years ago stared back at him. Acid rose up the back of his throat as he eyed the little girl in the black-and-white photo at the top of the page. The same wide, wary eyes that had haunted his mind for three years now stared back at him.

“That’s her, isn’t it?” Chase rested his elbows on his knees, folding his hands together.

Kyle could only nod in response as he scanned the article he’d gone over at least a dozen times before.

Chase narrowed his eyes. “Why do I get the feeling you’ve seen that before?”

“Because I have.” Kyle dragged his attention from the paper, turning back to Chase. “It’s the same one I found three years ago.”

“Three years?” Chase arched a brow at him. “And you haven’t told Ceci any of this?”

“Her grandmother made me promise not to.” He turned to the front window. Rain pelted the glass, creating a soft ping in the quiet room. “This stuff would tear her apart. She doesn’t remember any of it. She thinks her parents gave her up for adoption.”

“Don’t you think she deserves to know the truth? That her parents didn’t abandon her? I’m assuming that’s how she must feel.”

“That’s exactly how she feels.” Kyle let his shoulders slump. Dejection and confusion weighted his limbs. “I’ve spent years researching this. I have an entire file on it, all of it saying if I tell her the truth, I risk jarring her memory. A memory she doesn’t even know she has. I swore I could never hurt her that way. I didn’t want to be the one to bring that nightmare back to her.”

“You should have told her the truth.” Chase settled back against the sofa cushions, resting his hands on his thighs. “In our line of work, sometimes we have to do the hard thing. You know this. You’ve done it a thousand times.”

He let out a heavy sigh and let his arms drop to his sides. His brother was right. It was never easy, but it was part of the job description. Telling people things they sometimes didn’t want to hear. But it was different with Ceci. “I know. I was going to tell her this morning. We just haven’t gotten up yet. Thank you for bringing this to me first. I wouldn’t want her to find out this way. It would gut her.”