Authors: Jessica Burkhart
“You better!” Paige said. “But I think you're rightâwe will have fun.”
Paige sat at her desk chair and unzipped her makeup case.
“Ooh, allow me,” I said. “I'll do your makeup.”
Paige glanced down at the bag, then back at me. “I'd love that. But you have to do something first.”
“What?”
Paige turned her full gaze on me. “You have to tell me what really happâ”
“No,” I interrupted. “There's nothing to tell, Paige. Why do you keep asking? Everything went down exactly like I told you. If you're trying to spin it so that I'm innocent and you don't have to be mad at me for trying to steal Jacobâdon't. I'd understand if you thought what I did was horrible.”
Paige sighed. “I'm your best friend. Do you really think I can't tell when you're lying?”
It was my turn to sigh. “I'm
not
lying. And you're
my
best friend too. So you should believe me.”
Paige blinked a couple of times. “I know you. You'd never go after a girl's boyfriendâespecially if he was with your best friend.” Paige played with her eyelash curler. “I wish you trusted me enough to let me help. Something's
obviously going on and you're lying about it. No matter what it is, Sash, you know you can trust me.”
I moved over and sat at the end of my bed so I was closer to Paige. “I
do
trust you. You're my best friend and if I need help, you're always the first one I go to. I
promiseâthings are fine. I know you think something's going on, but it's only making things worse when you keep bringing it up.” I looked at my hands for a second. “I'm trying to forget about Friday and when you keep bringing it up, it doesn't help.”
Paige and I stared at each other for a few seconds, then she reached for her eyeliner and turned her attention to the mirror. I grabbed
The Secret Garden
from my nightstand. Paige and I didn't say another word to each other as she applied a final coat of lip gloss, smoothed her dress, and put on her shoes. Her hand was on the doorknob when she turned back to me.
“I'll never stop being your friend. You can try to make yourself look like the bad guy, but I know better. Something else happened.”
Paige opened the door and it closed behind her as she disappeared into the hallway.
I rubbed my eyes with my fingers and when I lowered my hand, my charm bracelet caught the light and glittered
in front of me. I touched each charm. The horse from my parents and the horseshoe and heart from Eric.
I stared at them for a long time. I knew what I had to do, but it was hard.
I held up my wrist and unfastened the charms from Eric. I looked at my braceletâlonely with only one charm. I got up, walked over to my desk and pulled open a drawer. I found a tiny jewelry box and put the charms inside. I closed the drawer on the heart and horseshoe.
And, finally, on my relationship with Eric.
TOTALLY MY LUCK
WHEN I WALKED INTO HEALTH CLASS ON
Tuesday, Ms. Utz was clearly excited about something. She was bustling from one end of the classroom to the otherâher large frame almost bumping into desks in the front row.
I sat down next to Paige.
“Did she drink a gallon of coffee, or what?” Paige whispered.
“Don't know,” I said. “I've never seen her move so fast.”
My eyes flickered to the doorway and I watched Jacob walk into the classroom. He sat on my other side and neither of us looked at the other.
I shuffled through my health notebook, pretending to be busy as Ms. Utz took attendance.
After she finished, she turned to us with a scary grin. “As a class, you're about to start a new project with a partner. You both will spend a week taking care of an egg. You'll log where you take your egg, document it with photos, and you and your partner must work out custody of the egg.”
An
egg
?! Seriously? That was sooo not in the syllabus, and Utz had never mentioned it when she'd talked about what we'd be doing during the class.
Plus, this sounded like the worst project
ever.
I didn't have time to care about a dumb egg when I had a zillion other things to do!
“Let me announce the partners and then I'll go into specifics,” Ms. Utz said. She started naming the pairs. Paige got Aaron, a guy who was in our English class. He was as crazy about grades as Paige, and I knew they'd be good partners.
“Sasha,” Ms. Utz said. “You'll be working with Jacob.”
I didn't even react. Of course Jacob and I were working together. It was totally my luck. Callie was going to think I'd planned this or something.
Ms. Utz handed each team an egg. She gave ours to me along with a small spiral notebook. “You must arrange times to trade off babysitting your egg,” she said. “You
cannot leave it in your room all day while you attend sports or class. Someone must always be watching it. The more photos you take of your egg with you in different places, the better your grade.”
So Jacob and I were going to have to meet up a lot for a week.
Greeeat.
“Before you leave class,” Ms. Utz said, “decide who's going to take your egg and when you're going to trade back. If it breaks, come see me.”
How was Utz going to know if we were watching the egg or not?
I thought to myself.
“Before we start reading chapter three, does anyone know the purpose of the egg exercise?” Ms. Utz asked.
To torture us
, I thought.
A girl in the front row raised her hand. “It is to teach us how to work together and be responsible for something?”
Ms. Utz nodded. “Yes, Krista, exactly. The goal is for you and your partner to take care of this egg and to get a feeling for what it's like to be responsible for something. Even though the egg is obviously inanimate, it will provide a great start for you and your partner to learn to be accountable for something fragileâlike a child or a pet.”
I laid the egg on top of my sweater that was sticking out of my backpack. This was so ridiculous. What if we already had a pet? Charm was waaay more responsibility than an egg.
I looked over at Paige and she shot me a sympathetic look.
Sorry,
she mouthed.
I shrugged.
“Jacob, you may start with the chapter,” Ms. Utz said.
Jacob looked down at his book. “Healthy eating is as important for the body as exercise,” he read. And as he talked, I closed my eyes, listening to the sound of his voice. I'd missed hearing him speak.
I opened my eyes and made myself listen to him talk about the food pyramid, which we'd all learned about in, like, second grade. I almost wished he was reading about something I'd never heard about before so I'd have to concentrate on the words and take notes instead of listening to his voice.
I couldn't do
that
âwaver. I'd made my choice and I couldn't go back and forth. Because if I started to think about Jacob, then my mind wandered to Eric. And I missed him so much even though I refused to think about it.
After we finished going through the chapter and Utz assigned homework, she dismissed the class.
“I have to go to riding,” I said to Jacob. I looked at my bag while I talked to him. “Do you want to take it first?”
Jacob gathered his stuff and stood. “Sure. And we can text or something tomorrow and trade.”
I handed the egg to him, careful that our fingers didn't touch. “Here's the notebook,” I said.
Paige was still busy trading info with Aaron, so I waved at her and walked out of the classroom. She'd understand that I didn't want to stay in here with Jacob.
Later that afternoon, I went to my riding lesson. I walked into the tack room and Julia and Alison were inside.
“Hey,” I said. I put Charm's saddle pad over my arm and reached to grab his saddle. I noticed that his tack was filthyâhow embarrassing. I needed to clean it ASAP.
“This isn't going to last much longer,” Julia said.
“What?” I asked.
Julia rolled her eyes. “Alison and I not riding. We're going to be back in the saddle sooner than anyone thinks.”
Alison glanced at Julia, then at me. “We can't keep watching everyone else ride. It's killing us.”
I put Charm's saddle over my arm and grabbed his
bridle. “I'm sorry it's so hard. Maybe you guys should avoid the arenas when lessons are going on. Take Trix and Sunstruck for a walk on the trails. You know they want to get out too.”
Alison nodded. “That's a good idea. We've got to do something. They're going crazy in their stalls, even though Mike rides them whenever he has time.”
“But Mike's not you guys,” I said. “I get it.”
I left them in the tack room and groomed and tacked up Charm. I couldn't imagine being in Julia's and Alison's position. I'd die without Charm and he'd never be happy with a stranger riding him. It had to torture Alison and Julia every time they stepped into the stable. Their ban from riding wasn't lifted until January and they had a looong way to go till then.
I put on my helmet and led Charm to the indoor arena. I mounted and started warming him up. I leaned down and hugged his neck, grateful to have him.
“How sad,” Jas said, entering the arena on Phoenix. “You don't have a boyfriend so you've resorted to making out with your horse.”
“That's exactly what I was doing,” I said. “You caught me.”
I looked away and trotted Charm forward. I was
actually glad when Heather rode inside. At least Jas would keep her mouth shutâsort ofâwhen Heather was around. We all warmed up our horses while waiting for Mr. Conner.
I halted Charm, backed him up, and then started him at a trot. A few strides later, I slowed him again and began working him in circles that got smaller and smaller.
“I know you're dense, but practice hasn't started yet,” Heather said. “This is called a
warm-up
.” She said the last two words slowly.
“We are,” I said. “Whatever.”
Before I could turn Charm in the opposite direction, Mr. Conner entered the arena with a smile. We halted our horses in front of him.
“Hi, girls,” Mr. Conner said. “I'd intended for us to practice inside today, but Ms. Walker asked if we could swap arenas so the advanced team could work inside. We hired her just to work with the beginner and intermediate teams, but when my schedule is full, she's going to take over the advanced team. So, let's move to the largest outdoor arena and we'll get started.”
Mr. Conner walked toward the door and we turned our horses toward the exit, then dismounted. I led Charm toward the door and just as Heather, Jasmine, and I
reached the wide doorway, Callie, Eric, and the rest of the advanced team started into the arena.
I almost stopped walking when I looked up at Callie and Eric. They were riding side by side and laughing. I pulled Charm forward, jogging to get away from them. I didn't want to watch them together. Eric wouldn't trash-talk me to Callie or anyoneâhe wasn't that kind of guy. But it made me feel weird to see them together. And I couldn't think about that before a lesson. Especially not when we were getting closer and closer to the tape for Mr. Nicholson.
By the time we got settled in the outdoor arena, I was ready for a tough lesson. I wanted Mr. Conner to push us hard so we'd be ready for the tape.
“Let's start with a sitting trot,” Mr. Conner said.
Jasmine, Heather, and I trotted the horses around the arena and I pushed my tailbone into the saddle.
“Canter,” he called.
At the same second, Charm, Aristocrat, and Phoenix leaped into canters and they made their way around the arena.
“Walk,” Mr. Conner said.
We slowed the horses and I waited for Mr. Conner to tell us what to do next. I hoped for dressageâCharm and I needed more work.
“Trot for two laps and then change directions,” Mr. Conner said.
I tried not to roll my eyes. This lesson was so basic! Where was the trot-without-stirrups-until-you-die Mr. Conner? This wasn't even close to the work we needed.
When he told us to cool out our horses, I almost wanted to raise my hand and ask if that was
really
it.
“See you next class,” Mr. Conner said.
I half-expected him to turn around and say he was kidding and there was no way we were getting off that easy. But he left the arena and didn't come back.
I dismounted and pretended to be cooling Charm. I walked him around the arena until Jasmine and Heather left. Before going inside, I peeked through the indoor arena to make sure the advanced class was gone. The space was empty so I led him inside, mounted, and urged him into a trot. We had lots more work to doâthere was no way that lesson was enough.
I sat deep in the saddle, pushing my heels down and keeping my hands still. We made figure eights through the center of the arena and I took advantage of having the entire space to myself. I kept one eye on the door, though. If Mr. Conner saw us practicing after already having a lesson, he'd make us stop. But I remembered
that he had a grain and hay shipment arriving today, so I hoped he was busy.