Riverstar (3) (2 page)

Drake and Annie were coming down the aisle, both beaming. Bella turned slightly and her eyes met Ben’s. For a split second, before he made them dull and unreadable, she’d seen sympathy, as
if he knew what was on her mind. The night they’d spent together, she’d talked of her niece and sister-in-law; it had given her comfort to know he’d
known them as well, because of his long relationship with Drake. She’d confessed to a deep emptiness since their deaths that she couldn’t rid herself of, despite all the ways she tried to fill the caverns of grief with friends and booze and intense sports. The only
thing she hadn’t confessed to Ben? Graham Rouse. She’d tried to fill the grief with Graham, as well. But he brought further grief, time and time again. Those days were done, at least. Yes, at least there was that.

***

After the ceremony, she stood with Drake and Annie on the corner of the deck. She held Annie tightly for a moment before taking her hands in her own. Annie’s skin was so fair and pink
against her own olive complexion, tanned from California sunshine. “Does this mean we’re officially sisters?” asked Bella.

“Yes, it does,” said Annie. “I’m so happy.” She lowered her
voice. “Are you all right? I mean, with Ben here?”

“I’m fine. But really? Did he have to bring a child to the
wedding?”

“Alder has to have a little friend too,” said Annie, laughing.

Drake glanced over at where Amanda was standing with Ben, laughing at something he must have said. “She’s not that young.”

“Spoken like a man,” said Bella.

Annie wrapped her arm around Drake’s waist. “You stay away from her.”

“You know I only have eyes for you,” said Drake, reaching down and kissing Annie on the mouth. He looked up at Bella. “This is my wife. Can you believe it?”

“It’s wonderful,” she answered. “Truly.”

Annie leaned closer to her, whispering, “Just tell him you miss him. I can see the way he still looks at you.”

“I don’t know. I already did that when I called him on the phone a couple of months ago. I blew it, Annie. He’s not going to give me another chance.”

“Put yourself out there. What can it hurt?”

Bella shrugged and glanced over at Ben, his dark blond hair shining in the last rays of September sun. She was flooded with it
then—the wanting of him. Why had she ever let him slip through her hands?
Because you’re an idiot,
she told herself.
Always have been.

“It could hurt my pride,” said Bella in answer to Annie’s
question.

“Who cares?” said Annie.

“You know, you’re right. It deserves at least another try. Men are so cowardly when it comes to this kind of thing. Right?”

“Just don’t get all sassy and mean,” said her brother. “And maybe you’ll have a chance to make amends.”

“I’m not mean,” said Bella, instantly annoyed. Why did her brother always have to point out all her flaws?

“Drake, that wasn’t helpful.” Annie poked him in the stomach. “You two aren’t allowed to fight on my wedding day.”

“Sorry, sweetheart,” said Drake.

“Yeah, sorry, Annie. We’ll be good. Can we have cake now?”

“As soon as we get the photos taken” Annie laughed. “Billy made an extra large cake so you can have as many pieces as you
want.”

She did love cake. Not exactly a substitute for the hot sex she had with Ben two months ago but it would have to do. For now.

***

Later, Bella sat on the wooden swing under the oak with a piece
of cake. It was handmade by Billy, Annie’s assistant chef at
Riversong, and was white with raspberry filling and butter cream frosting, the bride’s favorite. Bella ate it slowly, savoring the creamy frosting, especially. She was finishing the last crumb when she looked up to see Ben striding across the yard toward her, carrying two flutes of champagne. He’d taken off his suit jacket and rolled up the sleeves
of his button-down shirt, revealing his ropy forearms. She stood, her high-heeled sandals sinking slightly in the soft lawn, holding onto
the rope handles of the swing in one hand, her empty plate in the other.

“Annie said you might want this.” He handed her a glass.

“Thanks.” She met his gaze for a moment before taking a sip. His eyes were the same color as the pale tufts of new grass at her feet. When she’d met him two months ago, he’d seemed always on the verge of laughing. Now, his face was set, guarded, unreadable. She’d done this to him, she thought, filling with regret. Why hadn’t she handled their parting better?

“Only you could wear a tight red dress to a wedding and get away with it.” He gestured toward her body with his champagne glass.

She smiled, letting her eyes twinkle at him. “Is that a
compliment, Benjamin Fleck?”

He shrugged, his eyes cold. “Sure. I guess.”

How different he was than their first meeting, when he’d flirted with her without hesitation, teasing her about wearing her bikini on the deck of Drake’s house.

“How you been?” he asked.
Uncharacteristically nonchalant
, she thought.

She matched his tone. “Fine. Busy with work.”

“Yeah. Me too. The building’s almost done. They put it up in
record time.” Ben’s company, Hylink, had sent him to River Valley
to open a new call center. According to Drake, it would bring hundreds of new jobs to the town.

“Just finished a shoot in Los Angeles. High budget thriller with Stefan Spencer.”

“Big fan of his.”

“I remember.”

“You between gigs, then?” He took a sip of his champagne, his gaze constant on her face, unflinching, but there was something else, too. Distrust?

“For a few days. I have a film starting next week back in Los Angeles. And then I’m coming up here in October. I don’t know if Annie told you but Graham chose River Valley for the film’s
location.”

“She told me. Yes.” His expression was dark. He shoved his free hand into the pocket of his slacks.

“It’s a love triangle set in a logging town, so this place is
perfect.” It sounded cheesy to Bella but what did she know? She just painted the actors’ and actresses’ faces to be as pretty as possible despite the harshness of HD film. “Gennie’s starring in it so I couldn’t say no.”

“Genevieve Banks. Movie star by day. Bella Webber’s best friend by night.”

She smiled. “You remember?”

“I remember everything.” His eyes pierced into her.

“Me too.” She said this softly, peering into her champagne glass. “Stefan Spencer’s the male lead in it. He and Gennie have never worked together so I’m excited.”

“It’s still weird you know these people.”

“That’s what Annie says too.” She shifted her weight to one leg,
lifting the toes of her left foot out of her sandal and letting it dangle for a second or two, before turning her gaze to his face, wanting nothing more than to look upon him for the remainder of the
evening as she slipped her foot back into place. “How are your nieces?”

His eyes lit up for a moment. “They’re good. Both just had their birthdays. Seven and ten now. Hard to believe.”

“Did your older brother find a new job yet?”

“Yeah. Like a month ago.”

“Oh, good. So they’re fine?”

“Is Gennie the only reason you couldn’t say no?” asked Ben, his voice sounding pinched and as if he hadn’t heard her last question.

She looked up, aggravated in an instant, knowing his
implication, but wanting him to say it. “What do you mean?”

“Graham’s the producer of the film. Which means he’ll be here. Isn’t that right?”

She flushed and turned her gaze back to the glass in her hands. “Unfortunately, that’s right. He doesn’t mean anything to me anymore. That’s the truth, Ben.”

“Okay.”

She took a sip of her drink, watching him over the rim of the glass. “I’ll be staying here at Drake’s.”

“I figured.” His eyes widened slightly.

She smiled and used her saucy voice. “You can’t get away from me even if you try.” Damn him, anyway. There was no reason she couldn’t flirt. Make him remember how hot it had been between them.

“Oh, is that how it’s going to be?” He grimaced, rubbing under his eye with a circular motion.

“What?”

“All flirty and tempting before you disappear again with no warning?”

She took a step backward, gripping the side of the glass with her now damp palm. “Is that what you think I did?”

“Bella, it
is
what you did. And in the words of Maya Angelou, ‘when people show you who they are, believe them the first time.’”

Her voice went higher, defensive. “That isn’t who I am. I had some unfinished business.”

“Yep. I get it. You weren’t available. Too busy giving it all up for a married man. Brilliant move.”

His anger surprised her but she felt it too, hot in her chest. What gave him the right to judge her? “Glass houses, huh, Ben? Must be nice to be so morally superior. If I remember right, you weren’t exactly holding back that night in your pursuit of me. And you didn’t exactly ask my situation.”

“Guess I figured you were free when you fell into bed without pause. Especially given everything else we talked about that night. You know, our dreams for the future, your business idea, my love of
fly-fishing. The difficult relationship I have with my distant yet
controlling father. My flaky younger brother who smokes too much pot. My engagement that ended abruptly. Your grief over your niece and sister-in-law. How much you still miss your mom. Your fear of heights. Jesus, Bella, you told me every detail about your idiot father hanging you over the side of a building when you were three but you couldn’t tell me about the long affair you’d just ended with a married man? It’s not like we just talked about frivolous, meaningless stuff, Bella. I thought it meant something to you. I thought you were free.”

She stared at him, the anger in her throat now. “It did. I was.
Free that is. Crap, Ben, it was complicated. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. I should have. I see that now.”

His question came fast, like he was spewing without thought. “Bella, what were you doing with him? Three years?”

“It was a mistake.”

“A long one.” His face was pink. He pulled at the collar of his shirt.

“I’ve beaten myself up enough over this. No need for you to do it, too.” Her voice caught; a lump had formed at the back of her
throat.

“I have a low tolerance for cheaters. And you deserve better,” he added, softer.

“I know that.”

“Do you?” He cocked his head to the side, staring at her with what could only be described as skepticism. “Will you remember that while you’re seeing him every day on set?”

“I’ve been doing the work, Ben.”

“The work?”

“Therapy.”

“Good for you.”

He sounded so bitter, she almost gasped. “It’s no coincidence I fell for Graham three months after Chloe and Esther were killed. I’m sure you can imagine how this might happen.”

“Yes,” he said, his face transforming into something less
shielded but more pained.

Neither said anything for a long moment. The light was fading now and a breeze had come to the mountain, bringing the scent of Drake’s late September roses. The scent of roses had been there the
first time Ben had kissed her. Did he remember? “Where’s your
date?” asked Bella, both as a way to break the silence and to keep herself from asking him about the roses.

“In the house.” He leaned against the tree, taking another swallow of his champagne. “She’s not really a date.”

“What does that mean?”

“I’m not dating her. She’s just my date here. For the wedding,” he added, as if that weren’t implied.

“How old is she, anyway?”

He smiled for the first time. “That bugging you? You hate it because you’re not the most attractive woman at the party?” Despite the smile, there was more than just a hint of spite.

“Wow. That wasn’t nice,” she said, fighting tears as she
swallowed the last of her champagne. She needed another glass. Pronto. And it was true. The girl was pretty, even though she looked remarkably like a Barbie doll, and it bothered Bella. A lot.

His face softened. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that.” His voice sounded husky and tender now, like the night they’d spent together.
“Anyway, you
are
the prettiest girl at this party. At any party.”

Like she’d just been wrapped in a soft blanket, she went warm with pleasure.
Have the courage to tell the truth
, she instructed herself. “Ben, I’m finished with Graham. Have been since the moment I went back to Los Angeles. The truth is, you got under my skin. Big time. And I’m sorry for how we left things. It was my fault. Totally my fault. I was confused and, well, it was just bad timing. I’d love to try again.” She paused, watching the bubbles in his glass of champagne. Even his hands were sexy: close cropped nails, thin tufts of dark blond hair on his wrists and knuckles. She shivered, remembering the way he’d moved his hands over her body, the way he’d gripped her hips, how lightly he’d touched her breasts. “I’m going to be here. Working on the film. We could start over.” She moved her gaze to his face, hoping to see a clue to his thoughts, but he was looking toward the house with the same veiled look in his green eyes. “There was a real connection between us. Right? You felt it too?”

“I did.” His voice was muffled, subdued. “Like nothing I’d felt before.”

She filled with hope. Perhaps there was a chance. Annie was
right.
Just be open, tell him the truth.
“I haven’t stopped thinking about you.”

He met her gaze then, reaching out and touching her bare arm with the tips of his fingers. There it was, the undeniable spark, like something alive between them. “I haven’t stopped thinking about
you either.” He withdrew his hand, looking up at the sky and then
back at her. “But Bella, you’re bad news—a heartbreak waiting to happen. And I can’t go through another one. I won’t survive.”