Riverstar (3) (4 page)

“Cried?”

“Sobbed.” Annie wiped a stray tear from the corner of her eye. “It was heart-wrenching. He was happy and yet, well, you know.”

“Right. Of course.”

Bella stood, pulling Annie to her feet and hugging her. “Nothing will bring more happiness to all of us than a baby.”

They heard a car turning into the long driveway from the road. “That’ll be Drake and Alder,” said Annie. “Let’s go the kitchen. I’ll make you all a snack.”

“You know I love your snacks.”

“I have a new truffle oil popcorn with Parmesan cheese I want you to try.”

“Is it strips of Parmesan like you do with the Caesar salads at Riversong?” Bella’s mouth watered.

“Exactly. I toss it all together. Everyone loves it so far. I have to hold my nose though. The stinky cheese makes me totally sick.”

“You’re so pregnant.”

Annie giggled, taking Bella’s arm as they headed down the hall. “I really am.”

***

But it was not Drake and Alder coming up the drive. It was Benjamin Fleck in his sports car. No mistaking the flash of red
between the trees.

“Crap.” Bella looked down at her skinny jeans and riding boots splashed with mud. She fluffed her curls. And she needed a fresh coat of lipstick.

“You look fine. Beautiful, in fact.”

“Whatever. I don’t care.”

“Sure you don’t,” said Annie, smiling as she left the kitchen.

A few minutes later Annie reappeared with Ben in the doorway of the kitchen. He wore a pair of khakis, wrinkled from sitting in the car on the long drive from Seattle, Bella assumed, and a blue silk T-shirt with a leather jacket over it. He flinched when he saw Bella. Yes, flinched, like someone had thrown a ball at his face without warning. “Hey, Bella.”

“Hey,” Bella mumbled, turning away as she sat at the counter on the stool closest to the wall.

Annie went to the stove and poured popcorn kernels into hot vegetable oil.

“You just get into town, Bella?” he asked, leaning against the
counter with his forearms.

“Just now, yes.” Her voice felt strangled, like she couldn’t get enough air. She caught a whiff of his cologne and that was enough, she was back in the guesthouse with him like it was last night
instead of three months ago. He’d held onto her hips, his thighs against her backside, pushing her up the stairs, stopping half way and turning her around, kissing her until she pulled away. She’d taken his hand and led him the rest of the way into the small sitting
area of the guest house and then through to the bedroom. She’d wanted him like she’d never wanted anyone before, yanking at his belt, kissing him, his hands under the skirt of her sundress, tugging at her panties. He’d lifted her, wrapping her legs around him, and they’d fallen on the bed, not laughing or playful but almost ferocious in the way they’d attacked one another’s mouths and bodies.

Annie was saying something to her. “I’m sorry, what?” Bella
swallowed hard.

“I asked when you had to report for work.” The sounds of kernels popping grew faster and faster. Annie shook the pan, twice in rapid succession. The room filled with the particular aroma of vegetable oil and popped corn.

“First thing in the morning. We have an all-hands meeting. Richard likes to give an opening-day talk for inspiration and to set the vision.”

“Who’s Richard?” Ben took off his jacket and hung it over the
back
of the stool, watching her like he knew what she’d been thinking.
His
eyes were almost amused but there was something else too. Hurt? Longing? Regret?
Don’t go there
, she thought. He made it clear he
didn’t want anything to do with her. She must remain strong and distant.

“Our director.” His jacket smelled of his cologne and leather.
Damn you, Ben Fleck.

He slid onto the stool next to her. His cologne, again, was in her
nose. Did he have to sit so near? His thigh muscles were evident
under his khakis. She averted her eyes.

The popping slowed. Annie took the pan from the stove and set it on a hotplate. She then scooped two cups of the popped corn into small bowls and sprinkled them with truffle oil and shaved pieces of Parmesan.

She’d felt hungry, but now, with the aroma of the popcorn intermingled with the smell of Ben’s leather jacket and his cologne, it was nothing but longing in the pit of her stomach. Her hands itched to touch the sides of his face. Or even to just put her nose into the folds of his leather jacket and breathe in his essence like oxygen.

“Annie, did you get my message I was coming down today?” asked Ben.

Annie shook her head, her face blank and innocent. “I didn’t.”

She’s lying
, thought Bella.
She didn’t want me to know he was coming. She planned this little meeting.
Annie was more devious than she appeared.

“Sorry to arrive unexpectedly. Something came up down here that I have to take care of tomorrow.”

“It’s no problem. You know this is your home for however long you need it,” said Annie, bringing her hand to her mouth, looking greener than the moment before. Was she feeling sick again? “How was your fishing trip to the Smith River?”

Ben grinned. “Really good. Used some Bivisible flies that
worked great. Love that river.”

Bella shuddered and pulled her sweater tighter, thinking of the skinny, curvy highway that ran above the Smith River in northern California. When she’d driven it earlier that day she’d gripped the steering wheel tightly and told herself over and over:
Don’t look down. Don’t look down.

Ben glanced at her. “You okay?” Had he noticed her shudder?

She shifted in her chair, picking up a piece of popcorn. The
kernel had exploded into four petals, like a lucky clover. “Yeah. Drove that highway this morning. It was terrifying. Just like the last time.” The popcorn smelled of dank soil and mildew from the truffle oil.

“Takes courage to do something that makes you that afraid, Bella,” he said, his eyes soft.

“I guess,” she said.

She looked up. Annie’s watchful eyes were perceptive, almost shrewd. She sees what’s between us, thought Bella. It’s not just me.

There was the sound of another car coming up the driveway.
“That’ll be my boys,” said Annie, filling two more bowls with
popcorn.

Neither Ben nor Bella had eaten. Annie’s eyes darted to the full bowls but she didn’t say anything.

Alder and Drake arrived in the kitchen. “Aunt Bella and Ben are here,” shouted Alder, his ten-year-old face as round and sweet as the
last time she’d seen. He gave Bella a hug and bumped shoulders with Ben. “Can you believe they’re filming a movie here, Ben?” His big brown eyes sparkled with excitement.
Oh, to be ten again
, thought
Bella.

“No, I really can’t. Makes Hylink look like nothing big.” He
smiled and ruffled Alder’s hair. “You been practicing your blackjack and poker face while I was gone?”

“Totally.” Alder made his face blank. “Can you read me now?”

Ben laughed. “I’m not sure what that face means, actually.”

Drake kissed Bella on the cheek. “Good to have you home, little sister. You get settled already?”

“Yep. Unpacked and everything.”

Alder gave his mother a high-five before digging into the
popcorn. “Thanks, Mom, I was hoping you’d make this today.” He looked over at Bella. “Truffle oil. I mean, seriously, how cool is my mom?”

“The coolest,” said Bella, smiling.

“Take that into your room and get your homework out of the way,” said Annie to her son. “We have guests coming for dinner.”

“Suddenly you’re not as cool,” said Alder with a sigh. He picked up his bowl. “What guests? Ben and Bella?”

“Ben, you’re invited to dinner, of course. That goes without
saying.” Annie tapped the counter with one finger, looking at Alder with a slight smile. “Some friends of Aunt Bella’s.”

“Like movie friends?” asked Alder, smacking his hand against his forehead. “Please say it’s who I think it is.”

“Genevieve and, yes, Stefan Spencer.”

“No way. Stefan Spencer is coming to our house. He’s only the coolest cat on the planet.” He looked over at Drake. “Dad, he’s the one in that badass motorcycle movie we watched the other night.”

“I know who he is,” said Drake drily. “And that movie was God awful, not badass.”

Alder threw up his arms, a look of utter amazement on his face. “Sometimes I don’t even know who you are.”

Drake chuckled and pointed at the door. “Get your homework done and then you can tell him how much you liked his movie.”

After Alder left, Drake put his arm around Annie. “You feeling any better?”

She rested her head against his shoulder. “I threw up again after you left but I had an apple with peanut butter and that’s staying down. For the moment, anyway.”

Ben looked over at Annie with a concerned look on his face. “Have you had the flu?”

She shook her head. “More of the nine-month variety.”

His face went from concern to delight. “What? Really?” He
jumped from the stool and went to where they stood on the other side of the
counter. “You guys, that’s awesome.” He shook Drake’s hand and hugged Annie. But when he turned back toward Bella she saw the sting of envy pass over his handsome features. He wanted a family
of his own. They’d talked of it that night, holding hands under the covers. “I want nothing more than to share my life with a woman I love and have a few children. I’m a simple guy, Bella, with simple dreams.”

“Me too,” she’d whispered into the dark.

Now, Drake motioned toward the back of the house.
“Sweetheart, I want you to take a nap before tonight.”

“My husband’s so bossy,” said Annie to Ben.

“Don’t I know it,” said Bella.

She expected Annie to protest about the nap but instead she nodded, following Drake out of the kitchen with a guilty glance back in their direction. “See you all later.”

She was alone with Ben. Great. Now what?

“You’re teaching him blackjack and poker?” It came out sounding like an accusation.

He raised one eyebrow, looking at her. “You have a problem with that?”

No. I don’t. I think it’s the coolest thing ever. And so are you.

She shrugged, pushing her popcorn bowl away. “What do you care what I think?”

His eyes skirted sideways. “I didn’t mean to imply I did.”

“Fine.”

“Fine.”

Her cheeks flamed. There was the blasted lump at the back of her throat again. “I’m his aunt now. I take that very seriously.
Regardless of what you think of me.”

“Bella.” He said it quietly, almost under his breath.

She stared at the counter, fighting tears. “What? You have a few more digs? I’m too irresponsible to be a good aunt? I’m just a bitter single woman with no hope of having a child of my own and isn’t that a blessing in disguise? Why don’t you bring up Graham again? Anyone who had an affair with a married man doesn’t get to have an opinion about what her nephew should or shouldn’t do? Or how
about telling me I’m just a stupid, frivolous makeup artist too chicken to do anything important with my life. Those are good ones.”

He put up his hands. “Bella. Stop. I would never say those things to you. You’ve got me confused with someone else.”

“Do I now? Aren’t I just a heartbreak waiting to happen? Isn’t
that what you said?” The tears slid from her eyes onto her hot
cheeks. She jumped from the stool, her foot catching in the bottom rung and causing her to lurch forward.

He stood, catching her in his arms. “Stop, just stop.” He brought her close, leaning down, his mouth capturing hers, kissing her hard, pressing into her, tugging at her bottom lip with his own, his tongue flicking like a teasing flame. It took her breath away, this kiss that
went on and on so the world ceased to be anything but Benjamin
Fleck.

He pulled away, finally, setting her onto her stool as if she
weighed nothing. It was intoxicating the way he tossed her about, handled
her, touched her. “Bella, I’m sorry. I don’t know what just
happened.” He raked his hand though his short blond hair. “I cannot be in the
same house with you and not have this happen time and time
again.” His eyes were wild, like a trapped animal.

“Why don’t you want it to happen time and time again?” she whispered. “Am I really that awful?”

“You’re beautiful and smart and holy shit, the sexiest woman I’ve ever met but you scare me to death, Bella Webber.” He said it
sadly, as if resigned to his fear, knowing it paralyzed him but
helpless to fight against it. Then, he turned away, marching out the door, leaving her alone in the kitchen. She picked up his bowl of popcorn and threw it against the wall. It shattered and splintered into a dozen pieces on the floor, the untouched popcorn intermingled with the broken china.

She put her head onto the counter. This was a mistake, this going north. She should have stayed by the beach where she belonged.

***

Bella ran along the path, breathing hard, the sun warm on the back of her neck, the crisp air filling her lungs.
Run, just run
, she told herself.
Don’t think
. Her headphones blared Coldplay, the pounding music matching her pounding feet. The oak and maple leaves were red and orange and yellow, bright under the sun. The ground was damp and muddy as she trudged up the hill, the burn in her calves and thighs a welcome distraction from the ache of Ben’s rejection. She stopped when she reached the top of the hill, leaning against a tree to catch her breath before running the rest of the way back to the house. Once there, she came in through the kitchen door from the deck. Drake was there, looking slightly panicked.

“Annie’s exhausted. And puking again,” said Drake. “Which means we have to cook.”

“We?” She touched her chest with her index finger. “I think you mean you. I don’t cook. I eat.”