Road to Absolution (6 page)

“Wow, that’s a
dick move, Carter, especially for you.”

“I thought you’d
be happy!”

“You thought I’d
be happy that you dumped a girl for me on prom night?” I asked. “A night that’s
supposed to be special, but not only did you break her heart, you then didn’t
feel the need to tell me you’d dumped a girl for me? Think about what you just
said, buddy, and let me know if you still think I’d be happy.”

“Fuck!”

“Shelly was
nice
!”

“But she wasn’t
you
!”
he snapped. “God damn it, Cassidy, why the fuck can’t I win with you?”

“I didn’t know
this was a contest!”

He settled his
hands on his head and scowled. “I think we need to take a minute.”

“Why?” I
challenged. “What is any of this supposed to accomplish?”

“I love you, you
fuckin’ nut!”

“But you left
and I didn’t know where you were! If you loved me, you would have at least made
sure I knew you were okay.”

“And if you
loved me, you wouldn’t have fucked some French asshole and had his baby.”

I hissed through
my teeth, his barb a direct hit. “Well, you’re right about that, I suppose.”

“Oh, fuck,
Cass,” he rushed to say, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it.”

He headed toward
me again, but I shook my head. “I think… I think I need to go.”

“No, don’t. God,
Cass, just hash it out with me. I can’t lose you again.”

“And I can’t
have my past sins constantly shoved in my face!” I swallowed. “Not by you. I
won’t survive it.”

Carter nodded,
his face stricken with sadness. “You made a mistake, Cass. God knows I’ve made
a shit ton myself… you just got stuck with—”

“If you say I
got stuck with a consequence, I will end you. Maverick is not a consequence. He’s
the best thing that ever happened to me and if I had the chance to go back and
change what I did, I wouldn’t,” I sobbed. “Because I got him and he’s worth
it.” Again with the fucking crying. Damn it! I needed to get hold of myself.

Carter wrapped
his arms around me again. “I’m sorry, Cass. Seriously. I will never bring it up
again.”

“You can’t make
me choose between you and him, Carter. You’ll lose.”

He lifted my
chin and cupped my face. “Does that mean I have a shot here?”

“That’s not what
I mean.”

“Answer the
question.”

“Do you want a
shot?” I challenged.

“Yeah, baby, I
want a shot.” He kissed me gently and then stroked my cheek. “I love you,
Cassidy. That never stopped. I ran because I’m an asshole, but I figured out,
kind of recently, that some… no, a lot… of this is on me.”

I took a deep,
shaky breath. I wasn’t quite ready to let myself believe he was standing in
front of me.

“Please,
Cassidy,” he whispered.

“I… I don’t
know.”

“You take all
the time you need, babe. I’m not going anywhere.”

I pushed away
from him and wiped my face again. “I don’t know where we go from here, Carter.
Our lives are so different now. I don’t know how to make them mesh.”

“We can figure
it out as we go. There’s no pressure.”

I snorted.
“There
is
pressure, Carter. I have a child to think about now.”

“And I will get
to know him.”

I shook my head.
“Not yet.”

“What the fuck,
Cass?”

“I need to know
if this is going to work before you ‘get to know him.’”

“It’s going to
work, babe, because I’m not losing you again.”

I let out a groan
of irritation. “So, that hasn’t changed.”

“What’s that?”

“Your need to
make every situation your bitch.”

He chuckled.
“There’s nothing we can’t accomplish together.”

“Well, thank
you, Maya Angelou.” I flopped back onto the chair.

“Hey.” He
followed, sitting across from me again. “You still love me?”

“No.”

Carter smiled.
“Liar.”

I studied him
for several seconds and then rolled my eyes. “Yes, I still love you, you
dipshit bolt.”

“Love you too,
nut.” He grinned as he reached into his shirt and pulled out a chain that was
around his neck. Attached to it was the matching nut and bolt to mine and his
dog tags. “I still haven’t taken it off.”

I bit my lip and
pulled out mine. “Me neither.”

He lifted my
hands to his lips and kissed my palms. “I will do anything, Cassidy. Whatever
you need me to do, but I won’t lose you again.”

“I don’t know
how to get past the hurt… the hurt I’ve caused you more than anything.”

“I know. We’ll
have to figure it out, but if you promise to dig in with me, I’ll do the same.
I forgive you, baby. Do you forgive me?”

I nodded. “Yes.”

“Are you going
to figure this out with me?”

“Do I have a
choice?”

He chuckled.
“No.”

I leaned forward
and laid my head on his lap. “Can we wait to tell our families anything for a
little while?”

“Yeah, baby, we
can.” He stroked my hair. “But I want to meet Maverick.”

I nodded.
“Fine.”

“Why’d you call
him Maverick?”

I sat up and
smiled. “Why do you think?”

“Fuck me,
Cassidy. I love you.” He rose to his feet and pulled me with him, wrapping his
arms around me.

“I’m thinking
now wouldn’t be a good time to tell you what his middle name is.”

“Carter?
Seriously?”

I blinked up at
him. “I just said now would
not
be a good time to tell you that.”

He chuckled.
“You didn’t say I couldn’t guess.”

“Not really the
point, Carter.”

“Kind of is the
point, Cassidy.” He cocked his head. “Backtracking a bit, what did you mean by
you didn’t know I was okay? I sent you letters.”

“No you didn’t.”

“Babe, I
did
.
We almost never had reliable internet, so I sent two handwritten letters in the
packages I sent home with a note for my mom to forward to you. I had one or two
opportunities to send stuff home, so I packaged stuff up together. I know my
brothers got the stuff I sent, so I’m sure she would have forwarded.”

“Well, I didn’t
get anything from you, Carter, so I don’t know what to tell you.”

“I’ll talk to my
mom and figure it out, honey, but I swear to Christ I sent you letters.”

 I bit my
lip and nodded. “Okay.”

“How do you want
to handle the Maverick thing?” He stroked my hair. “Me establishing myself in
your lives?”

“I don’t know. I
guess we’ll take it slow. He knows who you are… sort of.”

“He does?”

I slipped out of
his arms and nodded. “I have a couple of pictures of you that he’s looked at
more than a few times. I have the one of you in your flight suit and the one in
your uniform, remember? You gave them to me after BMT? Plus all the ones from
when we were kids.”

Carter nodded.
“I didn’t think you’d keep ’em.”

“I have
everything you ever gave me, Carter,” I said. “Maverick obviously didn’t see
you walking toward the kitchen earlier or he probably would have called you by
name. You have always been Uncle Carter in my home.”

“Shit, Cass!
Uncle
Carter? I’m not your fuckin’ brother!”

“Well, I’m
sorry, Carter, what would you have rather me told him? ‘Honey, this is Carter.
He was my best friend a long time ago, and I still love him more than anyone in
the world outside of you, but I decided to screw your biological father and now
the love of my life won’t speak to me. Please bear with me while I never date
another man as long as I live, and a part of my heart never truly heals,
probably because I named you after him, all the while we’ll stare at his
pictures together and wish for what could never be’?” I sighed. “I think that
would make me a pretty crappy mom, buddy. It was easier to just say you were
Uncle Carter, and you were off flying planes and saving the world.” I looked up
at him and rolled my eyes. He was staring at me as though I had lost my mind.
And then he let out a roar of laughter that had me scanning the room for
something to throw at him. “Bite me, Carter Quinn!”

He continued to
laugh, but picked me up and threw me gently on the bed where he covered my body
with his and kissed me, his laughter and my irritation drying up pretty
quickly. I had never been kissed like this. Don’t get me wrong, I’d been kissed
before, but even Pierre, who I considered to be a boyfriend regardless of how
long it lasted, never kissed me like this. I knew Carter would be good at this…
he was good at everything… but I hadn’t banked on just how good. He slid his
tongue into my mouth and I met it with mine, arching into him when he slid his
hand under my shirt and cupped my breast. He tugged one of my bra cups down and
ran a fingernail over my nipple, making it pebble instantly.

His mouth moved
to my neck, his warm breath against my skin sending shivers down my spine.
“Baby,” he whispered. “God, Cass, you’re amazing.”

“Wait, Carter.”
I pushed at his shoulders.

“Huh-uh,” he
whispered against my skin. “Not waiting anymore.”

“No, Carter.
Stop.” I pushed at him again.

He rolled off
me. “What the hell?”

“I’m not doing
this with you.”

“Ever?”

I blushed.
“Well, no, but certainly not today.”

“Why?”

I slid off the
bed. “Oh, I don’t know… maybe because you had your hand up another woman’s
shirt less than three hours ago.”

“Fuck!” he
hissed.

“
And
you
offered to do that to her later.”

“Cass—”

“
And
you
have a reputation of being a total man whore.”

He sat up and
scowled. “Who the fuck have you been talkin’ to?”

“That’s not
important.”

“Yeah, it
fuckin’ is, Cass. Those bitches—”

“Please don’t
call them bitches.”

“Fuck me,
Cassidy,” he ground out. “If those women can’t keep their mouths shut, don’t
matter that they’re old ladies, we’re gonna have a problem.”

“Well, you
better get over that really quickly, buddy, because I like them, and I honestly
don’t get the impression they’re going around saying anything to anyone else.
They were simply filling me in on what they’d heard from their
husbands
,
mind you, so if you have an issue, talk to them.” I crossed my arms. “Just
don’t start a fight.”

“Holy shit,
woman, what the fuck does that mean?”

“I just heard
you like to fight, which surprised me a little, because you were always so good
at keeping your anger in check.”

“Yeah, well it’s
been a shitty few years, Cassidy, but that’s not really the point—” Before he
could finish whatever he thought would change my mind, his phone buzzed on the
nightstand. He groaned and grabbed for it, letting out a frustrated sigh.
“Maverick’s looking for you.”

I nodded,
setting my clothes right. “I’m the worst mom ever.”

“Baby, calm
down. He’s safe. We’ll go down and check on him.”

“I shouldn’t
have to get a text from another person telling me he’s looking for me! I should
be down there with him—” I ranted as I fixed my hair, “—not up here letting you
paw at me.”

“Paw at you?”
Carter laughed. “I haven’t even begun to paw at you.”

“Carter, shush.”
I closed my eyes, my body thrumming with desire. I couldn’t
wait
for him
to paw at me for real.

“Cassidy Eleanor
Dennis.” I felt Carter’s hand on my waist and looked up at him.

“What?” I
whispered.

“You’re a great
mom. There isn’t a person in the world who would argue that point. And I know
Payton and Dani enough to know that they would make sure Maverick’s safe and
happy, regardless of if it’s for a minute or a year, so that text was a
courtesy text. Not a ‘get down here right now’ text. Hawk would have said
something different if it was.”

“You think so?”

“I know so. They
may be loose with their opinion of me, but you, they love.”

“I think they
like you just fine, but yeah, they like me better, which is why I was warned.”

“Figured.” He
smiled and leaned down to kiss me quickly. “Now, let’s go find Maverick.”

I nodded and
followed him downstairs.

W
E ARRIVED IN the common room to find
Maverick playing pool with Hawk, Booker, and Lily. “Mom!” he called. “I’m
winning.”

“Wow, kiddo,
that’s awesome.” I grinned and made my way to him. I cocked my head and asked
Hawk and Booker, “You’re not turning my kid into a shark are you?”

Hawk chuckled
and Booker shrugged.

“I can’t be a
shark, Mom,” Maverick said. “I’m a human, but did you know that sharks have to
keep swimming or they die?”

“I think I heard
that somewhere.”

His eyes went to
Carter, as though just noticing him, and they widened before tugging on my
hand. I leaned down and he whispered in my ear (loudly), “That looks like Uncle
Carter.”

“That’s because
it is.” I smiled and straightened. “Maverick, meet Carter.”

Carter hunkered
down beside him, which was good, since he was four times the size of Mav. “Hey,
buddy. Your mom’s told me so much about you.”

Maverick stuck
his hand out and shook Carter’s hand, just the way I’d taught him, and I had an
immediate moment of pride in my son.

“I’ve seen your
pictures and my middle name is Carter,” Maverick said. “Are you really a
pilot?”

“I was. I don’t
get to do it as much as I’d like to anymore, but yes, I still fly.”

“That’s okay,”
Maverick said. “Mom doesn’t dance as much as she’d like to anymore, except when
she’s dancing with Kevin, but sometimes she dances in our living room. Maybe
you could do that too.”

I bit back a
giggle at my son, the encourager, trying to help Carter find a way to do what
he loved.

“It’s your turn,
Maverick,” Lily said. Her little voice incredibly sweet and adorable. I
wondered if I should talk to Payton about a marriage contract.

“Thanks, Lily,”
he said, and chalked his cue like a professional.

Carter stood
close to me, his front touching my back as we watched Maverick try to maneuver
a stick taller than him on a table he could barely reach.

“Who’s Kevin?”
he whispered.

“A friend.”

“A dancer.”

I smiled as
Maverick set up his shot. “Yeah. We take a ballet class together a couple of
times a month.”

I felt Carter
relax. “So, he’s gay.”

I snorted. “Not
even close.”

Carter’s body
locked again, but before he could say anything further we heard a femine voice
call, “Ace?”

He and I turned
as one to see the woman he’d been making out with earlier standing next to one
of the sofas.

“Yeah, Lis?” he
said, his voice somewhat irritated.

“Can we talk?”
she asked.

“Be nice,” I
whispered, and turned back to the pool game.

“Yeah,” he said,
and walked away.

* * *

Ace didn’t want to talk to Lisa. He
wanted to stay and watch the game with Cassidy, but he supposed he owed Lisa
some kind of explanation.

Following her
down the hall and into one of the meeting rooms, he closed the door behind them
and leaned against it. “What’s up?”

“What do you
mean, ‘what’s up’?” she snapped. “You fucked me last night and we had plans
today and you fuckin’ blew me off.”

Ace frowned.
“We’re not exclusive, Lisa.”

“I know we’re
not exclusive, Ace, but I changed my plans to be here today, and you know it.
You better fuckin’ explain why you took off and left me without a word, and I
swear to God, if it’s about that tiny little bitch out there, you and I are
gonna have a problem.”

Ace saw red as
he shoved Lisa gently but firmly up against the wall, his hand on her chest.
“You ever fuckin’ call her a bitch again, Lisa, you are gonna have a fuckin’
bigger problem than me blowin’ you off.”

She scowled up
at him. “Fuck you, Ace.”

“No. Never
again, Lis. Why don’t you go ahead and fuck off.” He lowered his hand and
walked out the door.

“This isn’t
over, asshole,” Lisa yelled as Ace made his way back to Cassidy.

It was for him,
but he refused to waste anymore time… or breath on the whore down the hall. He
arrived in the common room to find Cassidy leaning over the pool table, her
perfect little ass on display for everyone, and he felt irritation rear its
head.

He noticed
Train, one of the young recruits eyeing her and headed to him immediately.
“Look away, Train, or I will fuckin’ remove your eyes from their sockets.”

“Sorry, Ace,” he
grumbled, and walked out of the room.

The recruit
taken care of, Ace turned back to Cassidy, only to find Mack, one of his
brothers, leaning over her showing her how to make a shot. Mack typically ran
with Booker, but when he wasn’t, he was usually somewhere with a woman… or two.
Man whore would have been a far softer description of the young attorney, and
Ace didn’t want him anywhere near his woman.

“Mack,” Ace
ground out.

“Ace.” Mack
grinned, but didn’t look at him or remove himself from Cassidy. Instead, he ran
his hand over her arm and repositioned it. “Like this, babe. It’ll put less
spin on the ball and you’ll be able to get it in the pocket.”

Cassidy pulled
her arm back and shot the cue forward, the clack of the white ball hitting a
solid, and then her little squeal of victory as the solid slid into the pocket.
Ace went hard at the sound.

“Ohmigod, it
worked,” she said. “Thanks, Mack.”

“Anytime, babe.”

“Fuck off,
Mack,” Ace hissed.

“Carter!”
Cassidy snapped. “Language.”

“Yeah,
Carter
,
there are kids around. What’s your problem?” Mack glanced at Ace with a shit-eating
grin on his face, still touching Cassidy.

Ace faced his
brother, his back to the kids and mouthed “fuck off” again before inserting
himself between Cassidy and Mack, shoving the man out of the way. Mack’s
response was to laugh, although, he did put distance between them.

Ace wrapped an
arm possessively around Cassidy’s waist and pulled her close, only to have her
worm her way out of his hold and step closer to Maverick. She sent him a look
that spoke volumes, though, and Ace frowned at her. He picked up that she
didn’t want public displays of affection around her son, at least not yet, but
that didn’t mean Ace had to like it.

He crossed his
arms over his chest and watched as Hawk helped Lily make a shot, even though it
was boys against girls. Lily stared up at her dad with hero worship in her eyes
and Ace hoped he’d have that one day. He wanted nothing more than to have kids
with Cassidy… he just had to figure out how to make it happen sooner than
later.

A few minutes
later, once the girls had “won” the game, Cassidy declared it was time to get
Maverick home and into bed.

“Aw, Mom, Lily
and I were going to play Super Smash Bros.”

“I’m sure Mrs.
James and I can figure out a time for you and Lily to have a play date. Maybe
at our place,” Cassidy countered. “So, you can play another day.”

“But we don’t
have Super Smash Bros,” Maverick whined.

“But
we
do,”
Payton interjected. “You can come over anytime and play.”

“Can I, Mom?” he
begged.

Cassidy nodded.
“I will set something up with Mrs. James, okay?”

Maverick let out
a fist pump and grinned. “Awesome!”

“Did you leave
anything in the playroom?” Cassidy asked.

“Oh, my DS,” he
said.

“I’ll help you
find it,” Lily offered, and the two made a run for the playroom.

Ace watched them
go and then smiled down at Cassidy. “Brings back a few memories, huh?”

She nodded and
turned away, but not before he caught the sheen of tears in her eyes. He slid
his hand to her neck and gave her a gentle squeeze, kissing her temple.

“I guess we
should exchange phone numbers,” she murmured, and pulled her phone from her
pocket, effectively pulling away from him.

Ace took her
phone, entered his info, then texted himself. He was handing her phone back
just as Maverick and Lily returned, portable gaming console in hand.

“Found it,”
Maverick declared.

“Good job.”
Cassidy took a few minutes to say her goodbyes and then Ace walked them to
Cassidy’s car.

“Get yourself
buckled, Mav,” she instructed. “I’m going to talk to Carter for a minute.”

“Okay, Mom,” he
said, and climbed into the car.

“What’s your
week like?” Ace asked.

“I work full
time, so I’m usually home by six after I pick Mav up from daycare.”

“You don’t work
tomorrow, right?” He was having a difficult time not touching her, but he
understood her need to go slow with Maverick around.

She smiled. “No,
I make it a point not to work on Sundays.”

“We’re gonna do
something, then.”

“We are, are
we?”

He nodded. “And
Monday, and Tuesday, and Wednesday… getting the picture?”

Cassidy giggled.
“Yes, I’m getting the picture, but I have a busy week, so I can’t promise we’ll
see each other every day.”

“Yeah, you can.”

“Carter, I can’t
just drop everything in my life because you decree we will spend every waking
moment together. I dance on Mondays, Mav has karate on Tuesday nights, then
swimming on Thursday nights. Not to mention, by the time I’ve worked a full
day, picked him up from daycare, cooked dinner, bathed, and put him to bed, I’m
usually collapsing into bed myself. Maybe we can just plan the weekend after
next.”

“Hell, no. I’m
not waiting that long, Cass.”

“Well, I’m
driving down to my parents on Friday night, so I don’t know when else we’ll
manage it.”

“Fuck!” Ace
snapped.

Cassidy growled
in frustration. “Five-year-old kid right there, buddy.”

He squeezed the
bridge of his nose.

“I should go,” she
said.

“Baby, wait.”
Ace slid his hand to her neck. “Tomorrow, we’ll sit down and figure it all
out.”

“What if I have
plans tomorrow?”

“Then you need
to change them.”

“Ohmigod,
Carter, you are an idiot.”

He grinned,
leaning down to kiss her. She pushed at his chest, but he wouldn’t budge. They
were close enough to the car that even if Maverick cared about anything other
than his video game, he’d only see Ace’s side. He broke the kiss and stroked
her cheek. “I’m bringin’ you breakfast.”

“You don’t even
know where I live.”

He chuckled.
“What does Mav like to eat?”

“He’s a
five-year-old boy. What did you like to eat when you were five?”

“Anything with
sugar.”

“Well, there you
go. Nothing’s changed.”

“I’ll be at your
place at seven,” he said.

“If you are, I will
maim you.”

“Nine, then.”

Cassidy threw
her hands in the air. “Fine. Come at nine, but as soon as you get there, you
can watch Maverick while I go back to bed.”

Ace dropped his
head back and laughed. “Okay, baby. Whatever you want.”

“I really should
go, Carter. I hate driving this late.”

“Want me to
drive you?”

“No, it’s okay.”
She smiled up at him. “I need a little time to process.”

Ace stroked her
cheek and kissed her quickly. “Text me when you’re inside and safe.”

“I’ll try.”

“Do.”

She rolled her
eyes. “Still bossy.”

“Still
stubborn,” he retorted.

Cassidy sighed.
“I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Ace nodded and
watched her climb into her car and drive away.