ROAR (36 page)

“Sold! I’ll get my shoes and be back in a flash.”

After the two were ready, he motioned her to precede him out the door and followed. They spent a few minutes stretching their leg muscles—and groaning at how tight they’d already become.

When she would have strolled away after their warm-ups, he halted her with a hand on her arm. “As you walk, crook your elbows and fist your hands. Pump them back and forth in rhythm with your stride.”

When they took off, he went over a mental list of what he wanted to pick up when they were in town tomorrow. Some light weights for one. Nothing expensive, because they’d probably leave them behind rather than add to the weight of their checked bags.

His longer legs made the pace more difficult for her, but he didn’t go easy, either. She managed to keep up. She may lack stature, but had an abundance of determination and motivation.

Watching her breasts bounce to each step caused him to note that a sports bra might be a good addition to their shopping trip tomorrow as well. Or not. He cast sidelong glances her way, constantly pulled back to those mounds.

His inappropriate thoughts made him happy the sun had gone down and his hard-on wasn’t evident to her. He hoped not, at least.

“I think we should head back before it’s too dark.” He had a flashlight app on his phone, but didn’t have to use it until they reached the driveway to the house. He was satisfied she’d gotten off to a great start today.

Back at the house, they showered and returned to the common area where they turned on the stereo and flopped onto the couch.

“I had an awesome day, Kristoffer. Thanks for everything.”

He sat and motioned her to stretch out and rest her head in his lap. Pamela’s hair was still damp from the shower as he ran his fingers through it, but he smiled as she moaned the way she often did during their couch time back home.

Keeping her eyes closed, she said, “That feels heavenly.”

“I wasn’t sure how I was going to handle this week, but you’ve made today better than I could have imagined.”

She smiled. “Your turn tomorrow. What’s on tap?” she asked.

“You’ll see.”

She quirked an eyebrow, but didn’t ask for details. She trusted him, he supposed, even though she had no idea where he intended to take her. He enjoyed surprising her.

Kristoffer grinned like a kid in a candy store. He’d just come up with an idea and couldn’t wait to see if he could make it happen.

O
n Sunday, Kristoffer took her shopping. Her dad always indulged her stepmother Monica on such trips, but he actually seemed to enjoy it. Okay, most of what they shopped for was in athletic stores—three- and five-pound weights, better running shoes, and even a couple of sports bras.

At a clothing store, he asked if she’d packed a swimsuit, which she had, and now she wondered where they planned to swim. They were rather far from the beach, although he might be looking ahead to Carmel. While the water would be cold, the beach made up for it.

But after dropping everything off at the house in the afternoon, he suggested she grab her suit and a towel, and within half an hour, they were swimming laps side by side in an Olympic-sized pool at the local country club. He must have signed them up for short-term memberships.

After only three laps, though, she could barely move her arms.

“You go on without me,” she said as she hoisted herself onto the edge of the pool and sat. Watching him swim freestyle two more lengths of the pool, she marveled at his athletic physique. She’d never thought he’d be flabby, but for a man who worked at a desk all day, he had muscles on his torso and legs in all the right places.

He had nice tight buns, too.

I can look as long as I don’t touch, right?

He ended his last lap beside her right knee and rested his elbows on the edge before smiling up at her. “Tomorrow, no excuses. I want you to give me five.”

“If that’s Roar speaking, then okay. Otherwise…”

“Don’t be a brat. You don’t have to make world-record time, but we won’t leave the pool until you finish. By the way, I’m impressed with your breaststroke.”

With any other man, she’d have thought he was flirting, but with Kristoffer, she took his words at face value. “I was on the swim team in high school.”

“We’ll have to make use of the pool at my condo when we get back from California.”

“You’re on.”

Knowing he still wanted to hang out with her made her happy.

In one fluid motion, he dragged himself out of the water—splashing her, probably intentionally, and sat on the ledge a moment. “Let’s go.” He stood and reached for her hand, pulling her to her feet. “I have something special planned for tonight.”

How had she ever thought she didn’t like surprises? She couldn’t wait to see what he had in mind.

After they returned to their rental and were about to head to their separate rooms, he said, “In case you’re wondering, dress in business casual tonight.”

“Skirt okay?” She hadn’t attended a lot of business functions; at the hospital, she usually hid behind her white coat.

“Whatever is comfortable to sit and walk in. We’ll be making a number of stops tonight.”

Intrigued, she went to her room. After showering and applying makeup, she quickly donned a cerulean blue, gauzy skirt decorated with fine beadwork. Probably a little dressier than he’d suggested, but she felt like getting gussied up. Instead of a blouse, she wore a black short-sleeved cotton sweater free of adornments.

Before leaving the room, she retrieved the beaded purse that matched her skirt, both of which she’d purchased at a market in Kabul, handmade by one of the locals.

When she entered the common area between their bedrooms, he whistled his appreciation. “I might need to step up my game.” He wore black slacks and a polo shirt.

“Don’t be ridiculous. You look great. I just felt like wearing something fancier tonight.”

“If you’re ready,” he said, crooking his arm for her to place her hand there.

When he walked by the car keys without picking them up, she stopped. “Don’t forget the keys.”

But he nudged her to continue on. “We won’t be driving.”

“Oh? Do I need to change into walking shoes?”

“No.”

He opened the door, and she found a white stretch limo parked in the driveway. “What on earth?”

“Your chariot awaits, Sprite.”

She shifted her attention to Kristoffer, who beamed with pride, and perhaps because he’d succeeded in surprising her. “I’m floored. But what’s the occasion?”

“We have a number of wineries to hit tonight on our quest for the perfect home wine collections. But I don’t want either of us driving under the influence, so I hired a driver.”

In a luxury limo. “You always think of everything—and then some.”

He led her down the steps to where the uniformed chauffeur waited beside the limo’s open door to help her inside. She scooted across the white leather bench to just before where it curved around behind the privacy window. In front of her, an incredible feast had been laid out on the bar. Kristoffer took his seat beside her and reached forward to prepare her a plate of assorted small bites and finger sandwiches.

“I didn’t want to drink a lot of alcohol in transit and ruin our taste buds for the wine, so I opted for having our meal in stages while we ride from vineyard to vineyard.” He filled a water goblet with Perrier. “But because our first stop is the farthest away, we’ll have our main course now.”

“You sure know how to swell a girl’s head. I’ve never been in a limo before, stretch or otherwise.”

“Not even on senior prom night?”

“I didn’t go to either of my proms.” His arched brow and sidelong glance made her laugh. “Why the skepticism? I was a geeky nerd long before it was cool.”

“Well, clearly the boys at your high school were blind fools. Not only are you intelligent, but beautiful as well.”

“I may have to show you some of my high-school pics—braces and all.”

She waited to begin eating until he filled his own plate. The windows were tinted, but they’d ridden all over Sonoma Valley by either car or bike the last couple of days. She was content to look at Kristoffer and enjoy this meal beside him without needing to peek outside.

“Oh, I almost forgot.” He reached over to the bar and buffet area again, and soon the mellow strains of Miles Davis surrounded them. It took her only a few seconds to make out the tune as Davis’s unique rendition of “Time After Time.”

The song always made her sad, especially this version, but she wouldn’t let anything dampen her spirits tonight. “How long have you been planning this?”

He grinned. “Since last night. I went online and arranged it after we got back from our bike ride. I wanted to experience another first here with you.”

He hadn’t done this with Tori? She could barely contain her pleasure. “And I thought the light under your door meant you were working hard again.”

He shrugged. “I’m taking this vacation thing as seriously as I do my work.”

“You’re doing better than I expected. When’s the last time you were on a vacation?”

“Two and a half months before the accident.” He still told time in before and after that traumatic night. “Tori and I celebrated our seventeenth anniversary in Sonoma.”

Let him talk about her. Even if it kills you.

She placed her hand on his arm. “I know how much Tori means to you. I know her situation isn’t going to change for the better, but I admire that you’ve remained true to her all these years.”

“I love her. You do whatever you have to for the ones you love.”

How to say this without overstepping? “My heart breaks for you both, Kristoffer, but I worry that no one is seeing to
your
needs.”

“I don’t need anyone taking care of me.”

“It’s the human condition that we can’t survive without each other. Just remember I’m available anytime you ever want to reach out—for anything.”

An awkward silence stretched out between them. Kristoffer took her empty plate and set it and his own down on the seat beside him before turning back toward her. His somber face made her worry.

“I owe you a deep apology, Pamela.”

“You don’t owe me anything of the sort.”

“No, I wrongly invited you as a crutch to help me deal with the memories I knew would bombard me. But I didn’t tell you that’s why I wanted you to join me. Hell, when my counselor hears that I went on vacation to Sonoma—of all places—I bet he’ll lose his cool for the first time ever.”

“Please, you don’t have to explain—” His warm finger against her lips cut off her words and left her body tingling when he pulled his hand away.

“Yes, I do. Stop arguing with me.” He smiled, taking some of the sting out of his admonishment. “I think deep down I expected to feel closer to Tori by coming back to all the places we loved. But nothing’s gone as planned. The minute we arrived and walked into the house, I felt that familiar depression settling over me. By the way, this isn’t a place I ever stayed with Tori.”

A worry was lifted off her mind, because she
had
wondered since dinner that first night.

“Friday night at the restaurant, when we were shown to the table Tori and I… The thought of sitting there…” He glanced away. “I was almost sick to my stomach. Partly because I knew I could never share it with Tori ever again, but also because I saw how unfair I was being to you. Your exuberance for this vacation was snuffed out because I couldn’t get my head out of my past.”

She grinned, wanting to lighten the mood. “Nothing can curb my excitement. I will have fun regardless. Besides, we all have times when our heads are in the wrong place.” She wouldn’t dare say his had actually been up his ass, but from his self-deprecating grin, he knew she alluded to it.

“Then you steered us to the patio. Pamela, it was as if I was able to begin to put the past in perspective and open a door to new opportunities and memories to come. I’ve been training you to live in the moment, and I was doing anything but. Ever since that night, you’ve shown me Sonoma through your eyes and helped me create new memories—with you.”

He glanced at the floor. “Tori and I came here a lot, and I’m always going to hold on to those memories.” She reached out to squeeze his hand and bring him back to her, but when he met her gaze again, she saw he hadn’t really left. “I never set out to make this vacation intolerable for you. I don’t want to ruin tonight for you, either. I just needed to get all that off my chest and move forward.” He shrugged with an apologetic grin.

“I’m glad you did. Now, maybe you can fully relax and enjoy the rest of our vacation.”

He marveled at her taking his confession in stride without resentment. Such a forgiving and compassionate woman. He brushed a loose strand of hair behind her ear. “I haven’t felt this alive since the accident. You’ve gradually been shining a light into the dark corners of my soul. It’s one of the reasons I call you Sprite.” He grinned. “That and your pint-size body.”

She rolled her eyes, but was charmed that he credited her for making a difference in his life. “I wondered where that came from.”

He sobered again. “Bottom line—I was wrong. Can you forgive me?”

“As I said, nothing to forgive. You’re a grieving man who has been stranded between the living and the dead for a very long time.” She reached up to stroke his cheek. “Kristoffer, we’ll have to make this up as we go. Unlike a D/s relationship, there aren’t any protocols for building a close friendship between a man and a woman.”

“True, but we have a more serious issue to tackle.”

What else?
When he took her hand and squeezed it reassuringly, she only became more nervous.

“Pamela, I stopped seeing you as a mere friend a while ago, although I’ve fought against those feelings because I can’t offer you everything a woman deserves.” She started to interrupt, but he held up his hand. “Hear me out. Rick—my therapist—has been helping me to see that it’s not wrong for me to be attracted to you or to want to have something more than friendship with you.”

Her throat closed up, and she wouldn’t have been able to speak even if she had any words to say. She was so confused at the moment.