Rock Chick 04 Renegade (42 page)

Luke wasn’t just kickass. He was
kickass
.

“Stop,” Luke repeated the same word.

Ladies Man wasn’t feeling like being a smartass anymore. He looked scared shitless.

“Got me?” Luke asked.

“Yeah, yeah. Got you. Tel Marcus, nothin’ to worry about.

I’m out,” Ladies Man rasped because Luke’s hand was wrapped around his throat.

Luke dropped him.

Ladies Man’s legs buckled a bit when he landed but he pul ed himself together and his hands went to his neck.

Luke turned his head to me. I got the message loud and clear and we both walked out.

We were buckled in and on and the road before I found my voice. “That wasn’t fair. You hogged al the head crackin’.”

Luke was silent but I could tel he was amused.

“Next time I get to throw the guy across the booth,” I announced.

“Not tonight. We’re done.”

“Done?”

“Done.”

“That’s it?”

“Yep.”

“But we’ve only been out…” I looked at the dashboard clock, “an hour and a half.”

“Nothin’ more on tonight’s agenda, babe.”

Wel , that was disappointing.

“You should come on a ride-along on one of my nights out. It lasts longer and is a lot more fun.” I told him.

“I’l take you up on that.”

Whoops.

I’d said it to be snotty. I didn’t expect he’d agree. This meant another conversation with Vance.

Shit.

Luke again walked me to my door, took my keys, pushed in ahead of me and turned off my alarm. This time he didn’t head to the kitchen. I thought it best not to offer him a beer.

Then I asked what had been praying on my mind for the last twenty minutes. “Do you guys work for Marcus Sloan?”

“We’re on retainer,” Luke answered.

I closed my eyes. This was
not
good.

“Babe.”

I opened my eyes again. “He’s a drug dealer. He runs guns. He sel s flesh,” I whispered.

“He’s also Daisy’s husband,” Luke responded.

I felt like he’d punched me in the gut.

Daisy’s husband? Daisy was married to a drug dealer?

A flesh peddler? A gun runner?

“What?” My voice was so low even I wondered if I’d made any noise.

Super Dude Luke’s superpowers included super-hearing. “He isn’t a good guy but he’s a good al y.” I didn’t speak,
couldn’t
speak. I was trying to process. I was also trying to breathe. Both I was finding difficult.

“Daisy’s clean,” Luke told me.

“Does she know what he does?”

“I’m guessin’, yeah.”

“Then she can’t be clean.”

“She’s clean.”

“I think you and I may have different definitions of the word ‘clean’.”

Al of a sudden he advanced. Even knowing I was a head crackin’ mamma jamma I retreated. I was vulnerable. I liked Daisy. I liked her a lot. I wanted to be her friend but more, I wanted her to be mine. I’d suffered a blow from which I didn’t know if I could recover.

Somehow Luke got me up against a wal and he came in close. This wasn’t predatory-I’m-going-to-kiss-you close, this was pay-attention-to-me close.

“People do what people do to get by or get ahead or leave shit lives behind. But there are lots of things that define them. How they act, the way they treat people they care about. Daisy lives wel off dirty money. The minute she entered Indy’s life Lee investigated her and she’s had more bumps than most, enough for her to deserve to live wel .

She’s a good person and she isn’t involved in Marcus’s business. He’s got legitimate shit running alongside his other concerns. Both sides are lucrative. He used to work for whatever he got out of it. Now he works for her. There’s beauty in that and it isn’t for you to judge.”

“But –”

“Jules, it isn’t for you to judge.”

“I disagree.”

“You pul out of that gang you strike a blow to a good woman who’s taken to carin’ about you because you think you’re too good for her. What does that say about you?” What he said gave me pause. Pizza, footbal and facials gave me pause. Daisy taking Clarice shopping and hanging out with her at King’s gave me pause.

“Shit,” I whispered and my eyes slid to the side, away from Luke.

His hand came to my neck, thumb at my jaw and my eyes slid back.

He wasn’t looking at me like he was swinging toward disappointed. Now his eyes were warm with approval and something else.

“Now that you worked that out, somethin’ else you should know,” he said.

Uh-oh.

“Luke –”

“Vance is a friend, has been for awhile. I like him. I respect him. He’s good at what he does and I know he has my back. He knows I have his.”

This, I thought, was good.

“I get the barest, fuckin’ inkling he’s fuckin’ you around, I’m there.”

This, I thought, was not good.

“I’m in love with him,” I blurted.

Now why did I say that? I hadn’t even told Vance that. I wasn’t even
going
to tel Vance that. Not until he told me. I wasn’t going to be out on the limb like Jet was with Eddie for months or for forever, worried about painting bathrooms for months or for forever, worried about painting bathrooms purple or… whatever.

No way.

“I know you are,” Luke said.

My eyes nearly bugged out of my head.

What?

Oh my God.

“How do you know?” I whispered.

“A woman like you, a woman who
looks
like you, doesn’t save herself for twenty-six fuckin’ years then gives it to a guy she’s known a couple of days because she feels in the mood for an adventure.”

This was true.

Shit.

This meant Duke was right. Men
did
know a lot more about the way a woman’s mind works than we wanted them to know.

I decided this was not a good thing especial y if Vance had figured out the same thing.

I was fucked.

I decided not to think about it at al , ever or at least not until tomorrow.

“Nearly twenty-seven,” I said in an attempt to be amusing and steer us away from a tense subject.

One side of his mouth went up in a grin. I thought that I’d succeeded. I was wrong.

“With Vance or without, you always got me.” I felt that weight hit my chest, tears heavy there and I sucked in breath to control them.

“Thank you,” I whispered because I didn’t know what else to say, “you too. You, um, always got me too.” He shook his head, touched his finger to my nose then he was gone.

I stared at the door that he’d closed behind him.

Wow.

* * * * *

Boo was not used to car rides and told me he didn’t like them overly much. Indeed, he described his displeasure at length. Then he asked if this was an unheard of nocturnal visit to his most hated person in the world, the vet. When I assured him we were going to see Vance, not the vet, he sat on my thigh and dug his claws into my flesh to hold on and started purring.

Crazy fucking cat.

We parked close to the cabin door next to Vance’s Harley. With my bag and purse over my shoulder, Boo’s litter box in my hand and Boo tucked under my other arm, we made our awkward way to the cabin. The curtains were open, the windows were lit and the light coming into the surrounding darkness seemed warm and welcoming.

I opened the door and dropped Boo who immediately began to explore. I put his litter box in the corner.

Vance wasn’t in the room but the buffalo-shaded floor lamp was lit and the cabin was warm, far warmer than the last time I was there.

It was nearly midnight and I figured Vance was asleep. I was wrong.

He walked down the hal , feet bare, stil wearing his clothes. He stopped at the entry into the living room and leaned a shoulder against it. His hair was not pul ed back.

He looked relaxed, at ease, at home and
hot
.

“Hey,” I said.

“Hey,” he said.

“Meow,” Boo said.

“I brought Boo,” I explained unnecessarily. “I hope that’s al right. He doesn’t like the way Nick serves his breakfast.” Vance grinned but didn’t say anything. I decided to take this as an al clear for the uninvited feline houseguest.

“Learn anything?” Vance asked.

“I learned that Luke hogs al the action,” I replied.

Vance’s grin turned to a smile.

I was standing by the dining room table and it seemed that Vance was far away.

I felt weird. I’d never had a sleepover at my boyfriend’s (or whatever) house. I mean, I did have a sleepover but that was a break-up/make-up session that included a rousing fight,

unbelievable

sex

and

a

heartbreaking

misunderstanding. I hoped this wasn’t going to be the same (though the unbelievable sex wouldn’t be unwelcome).

I needed him to make a move but he seemed happy where he was.

Hmm.

“I’m going to take a bubble bath,” I announced.

The vibe changed, his tractor beam flipped on and I felt my body lean towards him.

Final y he walked toward me, grabbed my bag off my shoulder and then walked away. I fol owed him to the bedroom. He dumped my bag on the bed and then he lay down, picked up his book and started reading.

Okay then, tractor beam malfunction.

I got my stuff, took a long bubble bath, lotioned up with cucumber melon and put on my new nightie, soft, pale lemon silk with an edge of peach lace that hit the tops of my thighs. I yanked on my new lacy, white hipsters. I’d bundled my hair in a lose knot with a ponytail holder at the top of my head. I left my bathroom stuff where it was, gathered up my clothes and went to the bedroom.

The house was dark but the light was on in the bedroom.

My bag was now on the floor, Vance was under the covers, Boo lying on his stomach, making himself at home.

Vance’s chest was bare and he was up on pil ows, reading, his fingers rubbing Boo’s neck.

When I entered Vance’s eyes cut to me. I rushed to my side of the bed trying not to look like I was rushing. I dumped my clothes, climbed in and confiscated Boo for a cuddle. Boo had been comfy and protested.

“Hush, Boo. Mommy wants a cuddle,” I told him.

“Meow.”

“Hush.”

I felt like an idiot talking to my cat, taking a bubble bath, having a boyfriend.

I was kind of flipping out.

This was normal stuff that normal girls do.

I’d never been normal. I’d always been kind of a freak.

And anyway, Vance was hot. I often forgot how hot he was, what with us arguing most of the time. He was just as beautiful lying in bed reading as he was kicking bad guy ass. Being reminded of that fact without him moving inside me or in a heated discussion with me made me feel…

unsure.

We’d not had many quiet, normal, mel ow times, hardly any. I found I couldn’t handle it.

“I can’t handle this,” I told Vance, letting Boo go. Boo hustled to the end of the bed, plopped down on his side and gave me a glare.

“What?” Vance asked.

“This,” I threw my arm out. Boo had given up the glare and started cleaning his face with his paw likely washing away cucumber melon lotion residue.

“You’re gonna have to explain, Princess.”

“I can’t explain.” And I couldn’t, at least not without sounding like a fool.

See, I’d never thought I’d have this in my life. I always thought I’d be alone. I was happy with that. I liked being alone, as long as Nick was next door and Boo felt talkative (which was al the time).

What if this worked for us? I got used to taking bubble baths in Vance’s cabin. Boo lying on the end of his bed like he’d lived there his whole kitty life. Vance crashing at my place and using my shower and making us dinner.

What if I eventual y had clothes here, doubled up on the toiletries, litter box and kitty bowls so I didn’t have to cart them back and forth?

What if Vance’s jeans hung in my closet and I had to shift my nightgowns so he could have space for his t-shirts?

What if I got used to that, what if I liked it then it was al swept away?

My cute pug was chewing on my fingers, baby-dog teething.

Did pugs go bad?

I started to breathe heavily and I realized I was close to hyperventilating.

Shit!

“For fuck’s sake,” Vance muttered. He’d been staring at me the whole time I was processing and obviously lost patience.

He put down his book and hauled me across the bed and into his arms, right on top of him.

Even though this was a loving gesture and the words he next spoke were in a tone that was both sweet and tender, a tone I’d never heard him use before and I liked it a lot, the actual words were not loving, sweet or tender.

“Girl, it’s a good thing you’re so fuckin’ beautiful or you’d be a serious pain in the ass.”

I rested my forearms on his chest and my head snapped up to look at him. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“I’m thinkin’ you didn’t get it. When you stil your body, you also got to stil your mind.”

“What if you can’t?”

“You can.”

“What if you can’t?”

“You can.”

I made a “huh” noise in the back of my throat.

Vance burst out laughing.

Wel then.

Whatever.

I slid off him but he kept an arm around my waist, holding me to his side. I held my body tense, deciding to hold a grudge even as I rested my cheek on his shoulder.

He picked up his book and continued reading.

I decided tomorrow I was going to break up with him and I started to enumerate the reasons for doing so in my mind.