Rock Hard: A Bad Boy Rock Star Romance (6 page)

6: Warm Fuzzies

I was buzzing. It was like I was really alive, and it was something that I only ever felt when I stepped out on stage for the first time and the lights came up illuminating a crowd of women all screaming for me.

Was it egotistical? Maybe, but you didn’t get into this business if you didn’t have a little bit of an ego. This wasn’t exactly the kind of career that was good for introverts.

“How you feeling man?” Blake asked.

I grinned as he held out his hand. I slapped my own into his as we went through a now familiar dance running through the maze of struts and supports under and behind the stage. The whole area was a dark labyrinth of exposed metal and hissing from hydraulics being put in place for various rises up through the stage, and through it all there was the high pitched roar of a crowd of women just beyond screaming at the top of their lungs as though that was somehow going to make us appear on stage sooner.

Oddly enough the semi-dangerous maze felt like home. I’d spent so much time down here in the past year, first when we were doing rehearsals and then in our first run of shows. Even though it was nearly pitch black down here aside from the occasional light hanging to mark the way it didn’t feel claustrophobic at all. Not that we spent enough time back here to feel claustrophobic anyways.

“I’m feeling fucking great!”

“Lots of women out there,” Blake said. “A target rich environment!

“Almost makes me wish I was still in the game!” Todd said as he came up behind us. He joked like that once in awhile when we were down here and he knew Lisa wasn’t around. Not that he’d ever follow through so much as he didn’t want to hurt her feelings.

I shook my head and laughed. “You don’t mean that and we both know it.”

He shrugged. “I suppose you’re right. The married life is pretty great so far. You should try it sometime!”

I winced and it must’ve been pretty damn obvious even in the faint light cast by the LED clamp lights the crew had set up at intervals under the stage. Todd’s usually infections grin turned to a frown.

“Hey man, I’m sorry,” he said. “I wasn’t thinking, really.”

I held up a hand to stop him, both because I should be over it by now even if I wasn’t and because now wasn’t the time to have a deep conversation with one of my bandmates about the Incident anyways. Not that I’d ever really had a conversation anyone other than Blake anyways.

“Don’t worry about it,” I said. “It’s ancient history.”

Yeah, it should’ve been ancient history, but the way I was feeling the pain was still pretty damn fresh even after all this time. I pushed down on that viciously just like I always did when those feelings came up. That was in the past. It was over. I wasn’t going to think about it.

Todd slapped me on the back. “Right. Ancient history. So you should seriously consider getting back in the saddle! Lord knows there’s plenty out there who’d be willing to saddle up and take you for a ride. Just listen to those screams!”

I grinned more because that’s what I felt like I was supposed to do than because of any happiness I was feeling. Yeah, there was a reason I’d been avoiding anything to do with the girls who gathered at these concerts, and I didn’t plan on that changing any time soon.

And yet.

Hadn’t I already broken that rule in a big way? I’d already been tempted by a pair of pretty blue eyes attached to a killer body tonight which made any thoughts about not approaching the fans seem hypocritical seeing as how I’d already approached a fan with my big head and inflated ego thinking I was going to give her the thrill of a lifetime.

Yeah, that had worked out so fucking well. I set out to give a fan the thrill of a lifetime and instead I end up getting the surprise of a lifetime from a girl who turned out to be anything but a fan.

Of course that was probably part of the reason why I found myself so drawn to her. Why I found myself still thinking about her as I was buried beneath the stage getting ready for our next number.

Mia was out there somewhere, though she probably wasn’t adding her voice to the throngs of screaming women. No, if my judge of her in the brief few captivating minutes we’d been talking was anything to go by she was probably standing with her arms crossed acting disinterested. I’d seen girls like her at concerts before, though they were rare. I certainly never thought I’d find myself mooning over a girl like that!

And yet that conversation had been so much fun. It felt so easy. It felt so natural. Sure it was a conversation where I was making fun of everything I’d built, everything my life had revolved around, over the past decade, but there was also some truth to what she said.

There were times I thought it was ridiculous we were even doing this tour even if we were making money hand over fist. I hadn’t believed that would be possible when our manager first floated the idea of getting the group back together, but I couldn’t argue with results.

I also couldn’t argue with how captivated I was with Mia. With the strange girl who hated Twenty Promises and had no idea who I was. With the girl who thought I was gay because why else would an unattached guy be going to a Twenty Promises concert?

Yeah, that had been fun. That had been nice talking to someone as Grant the man rather than Grant the “hot one” and lead singer of Twenty Promises. For a few minutes I was able to be myself, and she treated me like just another guy.

Was it a silly thing to go on? Was it a silly reason to be thinking about what our kids names would be? Sure, but I couldn’t deny that at the very least she’d caught my attention.

Of course there was one little problem. She was out there somewhere, and that meant that she probably realized who I was by now. There was no hiding it now. She’d no doubt seen the opening number where my face was plastered across every huge screen in the arena.

How would a girl who hated everything to do with Twenty Promises react to suddenly knowing the guy she was flirting with in the diner before the concert wasn’t a gay aficionado of the band, but instead was the lead singer? Something told me that for once in my life being the lead man for Twenty Promises was going to be liability in getting the girl rather than the major advantage it had been in the past.

Trying to get the girl? Was I really thinking like that? Particularly after the Incident and the promise I made to myself while I was dealing with the fallout?

Yet there was something that felt different about this girl. There was something about her that gave me warm fuzzies deep inside, as ridiculous as that sounded. It was the only way I could think to describe a feeling that was so different from the pure lust I’d felt towards girls on past tours. Pure lust I’d acted on repeatedly in numerous cities all across the country which set the stage for the damned Incident.

No, I had to get to know this girl. I was going to have to track her down and get her attention in a major way before she had a chance to leave the arena and write me off as a chance meeting that was never going to go anywhere because of who I was, though given my reputation I could understand why a girl would want to avoid getting entangled because of who I was.

Then again she didn’t know any of that if she really didn’t follow the band. Unless her friend told her about it.

I shook my head. I was overthinking all of this, and that was a weird feeling too. I hadn’t been this in my head about trying to get a girl since middle school, and that had been a long fucking time ago.

I needed to impress this girl. I needed to get her attention. Luckily I was sort of in a unique position to do just that considering I was in the middle of an arena about to step back out on stage for another number. Already I could hear the opening strains blasting through the stage as the guys started, and any moment now the hydraulic platform I was on would hiss and I’d pop up out of the floor onto the stage and start singing.

I listened and figured I had just enough time for a quick text message. I was suddenly really glad I’d grabbed her number. I dashed off a text and was slipping my phone back into my pocket just as I heard a familiar hiss that meant it was showtime.

In more ways than one. I felt the familiar rush and the clenching in my stomach I got every time I went out onstage, but this time it was accompanied by something else. A burning yearning deep in the pit of my stomach because she was out there, somewhere.

And I was going to find her and dazzle her with a little bit of star power!

7: Getting Textual

The strains of one of the slower songs started up and the lights came on illuminating three of the guys in the band, but no Grant. I hated that I knew it was one of those songs where the singing didn't come in until about thirty or forty seconds in. Kayla had forced me to listen to their stuff often enough that I knew that much.

I felt a buzzing in my pocket that made me jump. I reached back and pulled my phone out, wondering who could possibly be texting me. It's not like I had many friends in the city, everyone I would talk to knew what I was out doing, and nobody from work would be getting in touch with me. My work life wasn't that crazy.

So I was more curious than anything when I pulled out my phone. Then my heart stopped when I saw who it was from. Grant. Texting me from wherever he was hiding.

"Enjoying the concert so far?"

I was sure to shield my screen while I texted. It was a ridiculous thought, but his number was on display for anyone who might look at my phone. I suddenly realized that I was in the middle of a concert surrounded by women who would probably very literally kill for the opportunity to get at that phone number. I suddenly felt like an exposed target, as ridiculous as that sounded. Even if someone looked at my phone that message was innocuous enough that they'd have no idea what was really going on.

Still, better safe than sorry. So I kept my phone good and covered as I sent out a response.

"It's okay so far, if you're into Twenty Promises. Not really my thing."

"That's too bad," he responded. "I've heard they're a pretty cool band."

"I guess it all depends on your perspective," I sent back.

"So have there been any surprises?"

I looked up at the stage. They were still going through the opening of that song. It felt like our conversation had been going on for an eternity, but it truly had only been a few seconds. Then a giant light flashed on the stage and Grant was out there singing his heart out. And I found myself swaying to the song just a little bit. I found my mouth opening slightly as I stared at him, as I looked on the big monitor. Damn, he really was hot!

I turned back to my phone and dashed off a quick response.

"There might've been a surprise or two."

This time there was no immediate response. Which, of course, made sense. He was up on stage singing, and of course he wouldn't whip his phone out in the middle of a number. It also made me feel sort of reassured that he was wasn't able to respond while he was singing.

There was a part of me that had wondered if I was just imagining things. If maybe I'd just run into a guy that bore a striking resemblance to Grant the lead singer and happened to have the same name. Only if he wasn't texting back immediately while rock star Grant was up there on stage that meant there was a good chance they were one and the same. Either that or it was wishful thinking on my part, they weren't one and the same, and there was some guy out in the crowd somewhere who was having one hell of a fun time getting my hopes up and dashing them.

I hoped that wasn't the case, and I wanted to kick myself for hoping that wasn't the case. That was coming dangerously close to territory where I was starting to moon over the lead singer of Twenty Promises. That was the last thing I wanted to do. I definitely was not that kind of girl!

I looked over to Kayla who was staring at the stage in ecstasy, swaying back and forth with her hands in the air. Then her face lit up and I looked up. Damn. Grant was doing the walk around thing again. I ducked down just in time. It was a good thing I'd noticed the squee on Kayla's face. If that really was him out there on stage and sending me texts while he was backstage then the last thing I wanted was for him to see where I was sitting.

I looked up and once more I was met with the hypnotic sight of his ass as he made his way down the stage in impossibly tight pants. Damn. The guy must work out, because he looked absolutely delicious. Okay, so maybe I could admit that he looked a little delicious and still hold onto my credibility as a person who was definitely not a fan of the group. Because objectively he was damn hot!

Grant swung back around on the catwalk and it seemed like his gaze was a laser that set the hormones aflame in every woman he looked at. Every woman but me, that is. Whenever he glanced in my direction I looked away in terror, afraid he would recognize my face. Afraid he would be drawn by me looking away when every other girl in the arena was staring straight at him screaming his name at the top of their lungs to the point that the sound of women screaming was almost louder than the sound of the music blasting across the arena.

Once again he passed by and once again he didn't seem to recognize me. I breathed a sigh of relief as the lights went down and the music launched into an instrumental bit. Another song that had a long opener. I felt a buzz in my back pocket.