Rock Me Slowly (27 page)

Where ever he has been he obviously feels the need to have a wash after it. He must have been with someone else. How fucking dare he? I am suddenly overcome with an untameable rage that is threatening to overwhelm me if I don’t take action.

I force my way into the bathroom to come face to face with a naked Josh and I can feel the tears threatening their way to the surface. The sight of his beautiful body is almost my undoing. The memories of us in here are so strong that I almost lose the fight in me. I can’t, this needs to be said.

“You need to pull yourself together, mate. So much for your protestations of never cheating and always being there for me. Well, you have blown all that to hell haven’t you, you son of a bitch. I wanted you, really wanted you but you had to go and ruin it all by sleeping with the nearest skank that was in spitting distance. You ruined everything that we could have had. You ruined any chance of a normal relationship with me. You ruined something so perfect, something I was willing to take the biggest chance of my life on. I want to hate you but I just can’t!” I breathe deeply in an attempt to calm my frayed nerves.

“What the hell are you talking about Sophie? Like I said the other night I never slept with her. Christ, I didn’t even want to kiss her let alone fuck her. You have a nerve coming in here and standing on a fucking pedestal. You slept with my band mate, with my friend, with my brother. You knew how things stood between Mickey and I but yet you jumped into bed as soon as things got a little rough!” Josh bellows through the hurt in his eyes.

“I slept with Mickey?! Look I really don’t know where the hell you got that idea. I lay in my bed crying my damn eyes out after Mickey told me that you fucked that cheap groupie up against the men’s room wall. Yeah, so very classy Josh.” I kick the cabinet door in frustration. How can he still be maintaining that I slept with Mickey? I wouldn’t, I never. I know I never.

“Well Soph, you didn’t exactly cry over me for long did you? What was it? Did Mickey offer you a shoulder to cry on, he felt sorry for you and you though why the hell not I’ll sleep with him. If you think he cares a shit about you then you are even more stupid than I thought.” That stung.

“You bastard. How dare you! Unlike you I’m not that shallow and self-conscious to just fall into bed with the next available man. I respect myself too much, unlike you. Come on how many have you had since our break up? Fifty? A hundred? Lost count? I should of known you would revert back to form, huh?” The tears are now falling down my cheeks. I am unable to hold them back as our words become more and more heated.

“Sophie I haven’t jumped into bed with anyone. I don’t need to. You on the other hand didn’t have that much self-respect when it came to Mickey did you? I really thought you were different. How wrong a guy can be.” Josh faces away from me and looks to the opposite wall and runs his hands through his spiked hair. I know he is hurting but he is trying to hide it. Why can’t he just give me some honesty! Urgh men!

“Josh I’m not a slut. I don’t need to prove my worth or my so called talent and fame by jumping into bed with anyone. I am a strong and capable woman and I can manage perfectly well on my own. The thing that is killing me here though is the fact that I love you. I think I loved you the moment I walked onto this bus. There was just something about you, something I knew that would tear me open and leave me bleeding for all to see. I was right, I have been torn open and no matter what you did with that girl it doesn’t stop me from loving you dammit!” Plain and simple, he is the only one for me.

“Oh god… Soph me too. Why didn’t you tell me this? I knew you were attracted to me but I didn’t know that it was love. I’m a man, it takes me a little longer to work these things out. What I don’t get is, if you love me why did you sleep with Mickey? That doesn’t make sense even to me.” God, does this man just not get it at all?

“I didn’t sleep with him Josh, I swear. I could never do it to you.” How many more times do I have to say this before he finally believes me.

Before Josh has a chance to answer me we are interrupted by a knock on the bathroom door. Josh eyes the door with pure contempt. “Go away. We are busy in case you hadn’t heard!” Josh shouts towards the door but the knocking doesn’t stop,

“Let me in Josh. We need to talk. All three of us.” Mickey shouts back. Oh holy Mary. Can tonight get any more heated? If Josh lets Mickey in here all hell will break loose. There will be only one way that either Josh or Mickey will be leaving this bathroom and that will be via stretcher. Josh hates Mickey for telling me about that woman apparently sleeping with him and Mickey hates Josh for taking his sisters virginity.

“Look Mick I don’t want to be anywhere near you right now. I can’t even breathe the same air as you!”

“Look Josh just let me in. You don’t know everything, there’s things I haven’t told you yet. Just let me in and we can all talk about it. I really don’t want to tell you everything with a door in the way. Do you?” Mickey is sounding sincere and I personally would love to hear what he has to say about the whole thing.

“Fine get your ass in here now. I can’t wait to hear what kind of bullshit that pours out of your mouth this time.” Josh stands with his arms crossed as Mickey walks into the bathroom and shuts the door behind him. Mickey edges closer to Josh and I.

“I haven’t been completely truthful with either of you.” Oh crap. What now?

If this dick thinks he can mess with me some more he is in for a big shock. There is nothing more he can do to me that will hurt as much as him sleeping with Sophie. That’s a line that friends don’t cross and he has gone and done it. There is no going back from that, no way.

“Look, when you slept with Jasmine I couldn’t bear what you had done to her and what you made her become. Seeing her so hurt and broken nearly killed me. She was my sister man, I love her. The way she turned to alcohol and drugs nearly killed her and I hated having to sit back and watch her falling deeper and deeper into that life was awful. God she even broke into houses to steal so that she had money for her fixes. I hated it!” Mickey can’t look either of us in the eye. What the hell is he getting at?

“Look, I totally know I screwed up there. I regret it, I even went to see Jasmine so that I could apologise and show her how sorry I was and that if I could turn the clock back I would have done things different. I needed her to know that.”

“Wait you went to see Jasmine? Is that where you have been the last couple of days?” Sophie asks inquisitively.

“Yes Sophie I have been visiting Jasmine to make amends with her. I couldn’t leave things the way they were. As soon as I knew she was Mickey’s sister I knew I had to reach out to her. I was a dick last year. I wanted to prove to her and you that I was no longer that person. It seems it hasn’t made a bit of difference to you and Mickey.” This conversation is starting to frustrate me. I hate going over the same ground over and over. Sophie smiles at the knowledge. Pity it’s too late to sort things out between us.

“Josh I never slept with Sophie. I wanted you to believe that I did, but honestly I didn’t. I heard Sophie crying herself to sleep so I waited until she was asleep and I slipped into her bed and just lay with her. Sophie didn’t actually know I was in bed with her though. I wanted you to hurt like I have been the past year. The look on your face told me everything I needed to know. You were hurt, in fact I would say you were dying inside. That’s exactly how I felt. You felt betrayed by us both, that is exactly what I felt!” Mickey raises his voice what seems like a complete octave. I can’t believe what I’m hearing. He lied about sleeping with my girl. He lied about it all! Damn him straight to hell. He has caused my girl so much suffering over the last couple of days and it has been all for nothing. I could kill him.

“How the hell could you do that to her? You sat and watched her cry her eyes out and you knew you could put a stop to it and yet you let her put herself through that heartache. I can’t believe how stupid you can be at times.” I shake my head at his selfishness.

“Oh, and Sophie I’m sorry I lied to you but Josh didn’t fuck that girl in the bathroom. I made it all up so that you would hate Josh and not want to be with him anymore. It’s not until I spoke to Jasmine that I realised that you two loved each other. Jasmine told me how much Josh had changed and I didn’t want to believe it. It made it so much easier to hate him if I thought he was still the same old Josh. An asshole. It worked for a while until Jasmine gave me a dressing down for the way I have behaved. That girl really is smarter than me. I’m sorry guys, please don’t let me stand in the way of love. I know what I did was wrong and I’m sorry. I want us all to get on again. I’m sorry.” Just as Mickey edges away so that he can leave us again Sophie runs to the toilet and starts to heave violently.

We both run to her to make sure she is okay. I hold her hair back while she continues to vomit into the toilet bowl. I wonder why she is so sick? Maybe she picked up food poisoning from somewhere.

Eventually Sophie’s body finishes heaving and she looks exhausted. My poor baby. Even in the state she is in I love her deeply. I love her with everything I have. She’s amazing. I pat her forehead dry with a nearby towel.

Sophie’s jaw drops and her eyes go wide and I wonder what’s wrong now.

“What’s up baby? You okay?” She’s starting to scare me.

“Uh… Mickey would you mind giving us a few minutes please?” Mickey leaves at Sophie’s request. Now I am getting scared.

Sophie is in deep thought as I stare at her. “Come on Sophie speak to me. What’s wrong? I need to know.”

“Josh I need you to go and get me something out of the nearest chemist.”

“Anything baby. You sick? You need painkillers or something?” Sophie laughs at my question. Okay, so she’s a little delirious.

“No Josh I don’t need painkillers. I need a mother fucking pregnancy test!” What.The.Hell? I thought she was on birth control?

“Okay I’ll go, I’ll go. I’ll be right back okay. Just take it easy babe.” I rush out of the bathroom and run out of the bus for some fresh air before my brain explodes. I need to get to that chemist A.S.A.P before the shit hits the fan in that bathroom.

Dear mother of god what if I’m about to find out that I’m to become a father?

I manage to purchase a pregnancy test no problem and I’m now sitting in the bathroom with Sophie waiting on the test to either turn positive or negative. Strangely I’m very calm and at ease. The thought of becoming a father is not sending me running for the hills.

Sophie on the other hand is bouncing off the walls. She can’t stay still. I think she’s scared of the result. She doesn’t need to be scared, I will look after them both if that’s what it comes to. The thought of Sophie carrying my child excites me and I realise that it is something that I want. God, what a transformation from last year. This woman has done incredible things to me.

Suddenly Sophie snatches the test off the counter top and stares at the test for what seems to be hours though it’s probably only been seconds. I am on tender hooks here, I just wish she would hurry up and put me out of my misery.

“Come on Soph what does it say?” I’m dying to know, I really am.

“I’m pregnant Josh. I’m pregnant.” Sophie doesn’t even look at me. She just continues to stare at that stick. I need to put her mind at ease.

“Sophie I love you. We will make this work, for us and our baby. You are carrying our child and no matter what anyone says it was made out of love. We love each other and our baby will be loved too. It’s a lot sooner than anyone could of expected but to hell with it. We are unconventional and our baby is going to cherished.” I say happily.

Sophie stares at me as if I’m mad. Well, okay I might be but we are going to be parents and I can’t freaking wait! Sophie bursts into tears at my confession. God I love this woman of mine. “Oh Josh do you really think we can do this? I’m scared, really scared.”

“I know baby but we will survive together. We are a team now remember? I love you.” I kiss Sophie’s temple and she closes her eyes at the relief she is feeling.

“I love you too Josh.”

“Right babe lets go and tell the guys the news. They are going to be over the moon at having a Buried Alive love child. The very first one.” I smile at my beautiful woman reverentially.

We walk into the entertainment room where everyone has gathered. Mickey is in the corner of the room at the mini bar on his cell. We walk up to the guys and I put my arm round my woman’s shoulders. We are standing as a united front now. There is no stopping us.

“Guys, I want to announce that we are going to be parents. Sophie’s pregnant.” I say proudly. The guys exchange looks but I knew they would.

“Wow, congratulations dude. I’m happy for you really. This is such awesome news.” Blaine and I bump fists. We go around the rest of the group accepting their congratulations. I’m actually buzzing and Sophie seems to be warming up to the idea of us having a baby.

Mickey comes off the phone and looks very sullen as they walks over to us and hugs Sophie and he also gives me a man hug.

“What’s up Mick?” Zack asks obviously sensing the tension.

“That was my mom on the phone. My dad is back. I need to go home. She’s in trouble.

The End