Rock My Heart (24 page)

Damira had been hired by
Entertainment Now
, a popular entertainment show on the Celeb INK cable channel, shortly after her successful documentary on the band’s tour had premiered and we allowed the show and
Society Magazine
to be our only press coverage as far as media attention went.

As I stood at the altar with Kaz and we said words promising forever to one another, I honestly meant them and I knew he did too. This would not be an easy marriage by any stretch of the imagination just like it hadn’t been an easy relationship. We were likely to endure the same knock-down, drag-out fights as we’d had when we were merely boyfriend and girlfriend. However, we were two strong and passionate personalities that clashed because we knew we had to risk everything otherwise, we risked nothing at all.

I would never not love this man and even when I hated him and didn’t want to see his face, I still loved him to the core of my very being. I loved him so much it made my heart hurt to think about all the extreme emotions that could pass between us. I loved him with every fiber of my being and I knew why.

Kaz had his demons. We both did but his were much darker than mine and I knew it had nothing to do with him trusting me why he hadn’t told me about them yet. He was scared I would put all the weight of my family name behind him to protect him from his demons and I would. I would risk everything except our family to protect him from his. Dizzy, the Lucifer’s Saints MC club and the rest could go to hell as far as I was concerned. They would never own him or ever have a piece of him again because he was mine and I would dredge through the gates of Hell to keep it that way. No price was too high and there was nothing I was not willing to pay to keep my family intact.

I was a dangerous bitch and the sad part about the situation was none of them would ever see me coming.

They saw my blonde hair, blue eyes, and angelic features and assumed I was easy to manipulate, pliable, and stupid. At one time I was that young girl, obsessed with shopping and designer labels with an empty head and a killer bod but no more.

Like my body had changed with pregnancy, my mind had matured over the length of the tour and that stupid girl was no longer in the building. A stronger, more powerful woman had emerged and anyone who dared to fuck with my son or my husband would have me to contend with me first, and the end wouldn’t be pretty.

I could play dirty with the best of them and it was best if Kaz didn’t know any of this because it would be too much of a shock.

It was as simple as that.

The same way it was a good idea for me to be shocked by his past when he finally told me even though I knew it all. My grandfather was crafty and my mother was just as intelligent. There was no way they would allow me to marry a man I didn’t know anything about and they’d laid everything out on the table before me.

There were six binders of information, more than ten thousand pages worth of evidence including his sealed birth certificate, photographs documenting his time in the club, what he’d done, what crimes he’d committed and how much money he’d sent to Dizzy Cox over the years. I knew about the year in high school he spent in Birch Tree and all the time he was part of the MC.

Desmond “Dizzy” Cox had sold out his own son to my grandfather for a mere five million dollars, pocket change to a man who was worth well into the double-digit billions but he wanted me to have all the information on the man I was about to marry.

I still remembered our conversation.

“You know why there is a reason the upper class don’t mix with the lower class, sweetheart. We are so much alike, sometimes, it becomes too much to bear. Perhaps this man, despite being the father of your child and worth almost half a billion dollars himself, is not the person for you. He is still a product of his childhood and he’s torn because he doesn’t fit in either social circle. He’s not white trash yet he’s not part of the elite either and he knows it. He’s never found his place in life and someone who doesn’t know where they came from can’t have any idea where they are going. Do you understand what I am trying to say?”

I’d faced my grandfather and smiled, almost coyly. “Yes, I understand you, Grandpapa…but I am in love with this man and I think I can ground him. He
will
find his place and I will make sure he is settled and comfortable. He will eventually adapt. He has to because…he can’t go back to the MC again. As much as that lifestyle should be part of who he is, he wasn’t built for it and he’d either end up dead or in prison. Give me some time with him…you’ll see.”

My grandfather smiled but unlike mine, his never reached his icy blue eyes. “I will give you five years. Until then, there will be an iron-clad prenuptial agreement placed on your assets. When your mother and I are gone, you will become a billionaire and I can’t allow that kind of fortune getting into the wrong hands…especially the criminal element from whence your future-husband comes from on his father’s side. I will pay off the debt to free him of this…motorcycle club. I can’t have any nefarious activities attached to my future son-in-law. If you have not secured his place and taken the restlessness out of him then I will require you two to divorce…and it will
not
be negotiable.”

My grandfather never minced words, especially when he spoke to me in Norwegian. I had no choice but to comply and since then, I’d read about what Kaz had done and understood why he thought it would scare me. He’d grown up in a world filled with violence, mayhem and complete anarchy while on idyllic summer vacations at Dizzy’s compound. Soon, the violence became too much and it began to seep into him.

He’d lied…his half-brother had raped him once, not multiple times and Kaz had beaten Randall so badly, he ended up in the hospital. His step-father had covered up the incident up but the damage had been done. Randall and Kaz no longer communicated with one another at all and after the incident, he’d been sent to live with his real father in Northern Nevada permanently.

I knew why Kaz had lied but I planned to rectify the situation shortly after we were married because I would not have the foundation of our life, our relationship or our marriage based upon omissions and half-truths. He would soon see the girl he’d met ceased to exist and in her place, a powerful woman intent on becoming a carbon copy of her grandfather, her mother…and her
real
father. A person of importance who would contribute good to the world if only to try to eradicate so much of the hate that festered in our society and in our hearts.

Charity started first in the home and that is where I intended to begin my ambitious journey.

Kaz and I looked at each other with an extreme intensity that no one could change. It was as if we were the only two people left in the world when the minister finally said, “I pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride, sir.”

When he placed his arms around me and dipped me low, everyone shouted and clapped but it wasn’t until his mouth touched mine that the fireworks went off in my head. The world, a stark yet dreary black and white turned into Technicolor and everything became so clear. It was like I was a person suffering from horrible vision before and now, I could see 20/20.

Kaz and I were married and although our marriage license, certificate and the press would scream “Mrs. Gillian”, I was now officially a Cox.

This is what scared my grandfather the most. I belonged to that bastard’s family and what a family it was. It made the
Jerry Springer
show seem horribly ordinary and the goings on in that family were the stories of nightmares, not dreams.

Unfortunately for my poor grandfather, I wouldn’t have preferred it any other way because I was willing to carry any last name to be with Kasper for the rest of my life.

Chapter Twenty-Two

The Wedding Night

KAZ COULDN’T BELIEVE how great the reception turned out, especially when you mixed rock stars with high society figures who were worth so much money, they depended on their personal financial advisors,
Fortune Magazine
and
Forbes
to keep them up to date with their net worth.

However, the rock stars in question were well behaved and he didn’t feel bad about not telling Jaden what had happened to Faith because for the first time, it seemed like he and Talia were talking to one another and that made him happy.

He’d hoped his marriage to Syd would make his brother realize what he was missing and perhaps he’d want the same for himself.

It was true, Faith and Jaden had quite the history but he and Talia had a child and no matter how much history existed, the presence of an innocent being born from two people severed everything.

Kaz had history with Keren too, much longer than he’d ever had history with Damira but when she told him she was pregnant, it didn’t matter. His relationship with Keren had been severed for good and he was ready to move forward with Damira.

Not that their wedding had been this elegant and understated because he simply hadn’t had the money he possessed now, nor was Damira like Sydney. Her family was much worse off than his because as much as his father liked to play the pauper, the man was swimming in illegal cash from gun running, drugs and crooked deals.

He’d not thought much about his father until he was dancing with Sydney to “Wild Horses” by the Rolling Stones when his phone buzzed in his pocket.

She smiled at him before she leaned in and whispered in his ear, “Is that your cell phone or are you just happy to see me?”

Kaz laughed out loud. “Both,” he replied as he took out his phone and looked at the number.

It was Dizzy and the motherfuckin’ bastard had the nerve to call him on his wedding day.

“I have to take this.” He tried to pull away but Syd’s grip was strong and unyielding.

“You can take that call right here. You might want to listen to what your father has to say.”

He looked into her eyes and they were calm, clear and pure blue with only gray striations circling within her irises near the pupils.

Kaz answered the phone and said, “Hello?”

“I hope I didn’t interrupt you and that beautiful bride of yours but…I forgot to tell you something. On purpose of course.”

“What’s that, Dad?” he questioned in a cold voice.

“Sydney knows everything about you. So, all that true confessions crap you planned like you were on some sad episode of a soap opera doesn’t have to happen. Her grandfather paid me five million dollars for the information. And he also paid me enough to sever your ties with the club. You need to get rid of the LS tattoo ASAP. I would suggest having something tattooed over it but it truly is your choice. Either way, I see you with LS ink the next time we meet and you’re dead.”

The phone call ended and Kaz stuck the phone in his pocket.

Sydney placed her head on his shoulders and they danced in sync with one another perfectly.

“You don’t have to say a word because I understand why you didn’t tell me. Just know that I will protect you and you’ll never have to worry about the club again. You’re married to a Landvik and we keep our promises…always.”

Kaz breathed a sigh of relief.

The weight that had been lifted off his shoulder was phenomenal. He didn’t have to confess his dirty little secrets because she was aware of every one and still had married him. That was true love if he’d ever known it and truth be told, he hadn’t, not until Sydney came along.

“I love you so much,” he whispered into her ear.

“I know you do because I love you just as much as you love me.”

They finished their dance and all the time, he couldn’t wait to get her home. He desperately needed to make love to her once and for all.

KAZ SLOWLY UNDRESSED his bride and it was only because her wedding dress was so gorgeous, he almost hated he had to remove it from her body.

Almost.

He needed to be with he so badly, they kissed one another and it was all tongues and hungry mouths pressed against one another as he removed his suit, layer by layer until he was as nude as Syd.

His kisses led down to the base of her neck as he squeezed her breasts softly and played with her nipples, his index and thumb softly squeezing until he got an eyeful of breast milk.

Syd laughed out loud. “Yeah, I should have warned you not to squeeze too hard.”

“Let’s just say I’m well aware of it now.” He sat up and grabbed a Kleenex to clean his face before he deposited the tissues in the trash.

Now that he knew her breasts were ultra-sensitive, he kissed lightly before his tongue flicked over her nipple. She moaned out loud before he switched sides and lightly licked the other nipple with enough pressure to give her pleasure but not too much to cause her milk to start flowing.

“Oh the kinky games we could play,” he sung in her ear before she grabbed his face with both hands and her open mouth sought out his again with a generous tongue.

“Yes, but not tonight,” she replied after their kiss ended.

Kaz was a bit taken aback when she flipped them over until she was on top and she kissed down his body. She sucked his nipples, which was quite a turn on, and led her tongue all the way to his belly button although his cock, hard as a rock, was in the way. He was so turned on at that moment, it lay flat against his stomach like a soldier at attention.

Syd gripped his manhood and licked the head before her mouth in all of its wet, moist sweetness surrounded him and slowly allowed inch by ever loving inch to sink into her until the head of his dick danced past her tonsils.

She slid him out and did it again and he knew if she continued to tease him like this while her hands massaged his balls in between careful fingers running up and down his perineum, he was going to come violently in her mouth.

When she pulled him out a third time, he grabbed her by the shoulders and pulled her up. She rested on top of his body except for a raging hard-on between the two of them.

Kaz flipped them over and he spread her legs where paradise awaited him in the form of a Brazilian waxed pussy made for his lips, tongue, and cock. He spread her open and tackled her swollen clit with a hungry tongue as he slid two fingers inside of her. She was turned on but not dripping wet and they both knew why. He slid his fingers out of her, liberally coated them with his saliva and pushed into her again until he felt that spongy, soft tissue that was her G-spot.

Syd’s legs spread wider as his mouth assaulted her clit, suckling on the swollen nub in between licking her hard and her hips bucked involuntarily to the feeling of pleasure. An orgasm gently flowed over her and with that orgasm came a burst of moist pleasure that coated his fingers, still buried inside her, liberally.

He crawled back up her body but she was far from done with her power play. She flipped them over again. All this flipping had him scared they were going to eventually hit the floor in a tangle of naked limbs, desperate in their anticipation to have one another.

She grabbed his cock and guided it inside of her and Kaz was met with tight, hot, moistness, the closest he would ever get to heaven. Her strokes were languid and paced at just the right speed because as she rode him like a cowgirl at the local rodeo, he loved the way her vaginal muscles clenched his dick and then eased up.

Kaz could spend forever buried inside the beautiful woman who was now his wife but the torture she caused with that beautiful cunt of hers was enough to drive him over the edge.

He flipped them again, the opposite way this time, and as he continued his quest and hers all the way to a well-needed release, he sped up the pace just a bit, sinking himself deep as possible inside her before he would pull out a little and then slowly thrust into her again and again.

Syd wrapped her arms around his neck and their mouths found one another’s again, their tongues melding to one another, tasting each other and themselves and he continued his rhythmic pace inside her and she squeezed her vaginal muscles tighter against him, making the pressure interminably and extremely pleasurable while his orgasm became that much more imminent.

They made love with all the frantic urgency of two beings coming together after spending months apart. There was no denying the love they felt for one another and it showed in every arch, kiss and caress.

Kaz felt Syd as her muscles clinched involuntarily and the shudder she gave him as she moaned out loud; it was enough to cause his own orgasm and he came inside her with such furious intensity, it felt like heaven and he knew he was finally home.

Afterwards, they laid in bed together and held hands.

Kaz could never remember a time he felt so completed and he knew it was because he finally was with a woman who knew every part of him. It was a scary feeling to be so exposed but at the same time, he wouldn’t have had it any other way.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

Syd looked in his direction. “Would it have made a difference?” Her smooth silky hands touched his face and felt so reassuring yet granted him the peace of mind he’d never known could exist between two people. “I love you and now that I know who you truly are, I love you even more. You have faced some horrific situations and you’re still around to tell the tale. Not many rockers get out of this life alive, especially legends like you. Just consider yourself one of the lucky ones.”