“Thomas I didn’t expect a present from you, do I need to remind you that we’re just friends.” Even telling him this he seemed to not hear me. Before I reached to open the box, he took my right wrist to his lips and kissed my hand gently and then he twisted on my cuff bracelet. I took my hand down and opened the box and there was a diamond tennis bracelet, clearly made up of too many carats. I was stunned. I wasn’t going to take it.
“Are you crazy, this is way too much?”
As he took it out of the box he shared, “I’m crazy in love you with you, let’s get this cuff off your wrist and put this beautiful bracelet on.” He continued, “I’m so sorry I didn’t realize what I had with you and screwed it up. I will not take you for granted anymore; I will spend every day making it up to you.”
My eyes started to tear and Thomas reached up and dabbed the corners of my eyes catching the moist droplets, but my tears weren’t what he thought. I couldn’t stay here, just the touch of him twisting my cuff was like a tug to my heart. I had not been able to get Rand’s explanation of “G” yet, and needed to find out what was happening there before I could ever walk away from him. I needed to hold Rand and figure out what had made things awkward recently.
I needed to get out of here, out of my old condo, my old life. I couldn’t breathe. I felt suffocated; Thomas looked at me like I was having a panic attack. He got up to go to the bathroom to get me a wet wash cloth and when he returned I had fled. He called my cell phone moments later; I could not take his call. I got in my car and sank in the seat and closed my eyes and took a huge breath, I felt so much better. Follow your heart I told myself in my head. I opened my eyes and was looking down at the shimmering heart on the cuff bracelet, and I was going to have that lead me back toward the person whose heart had given this to me. As I drove from the parking lot to Rand’s my phone rang several times, all from Thomas that I let go to voice mail. I silenced my phone.
I parked at Rand’s and there were several cars here already. The gathering was already under way since I was late. But a ride and visit to the city and then a drive back out of the city took time. Rand was sitting on his porch when I arrived and stood as he saw me approach. He came toward me immediately. As I rose out of the car, he picked me up and twirled me around in the snow. I was afraid we were going to tumble and be making snow angels on the ground. When he stopped his twirling he began to kiss me and muttered, “Merry Christmas Madison.”
He didn’t have to tell me how happy he was to see me. His enthusiastic greeting said it all. “I’m so happy to be here,” I said softly. After several minutes, he was able to pull himself away and we headed into the house.
I stopped to take in the lovely decorations on the porch itself; there were lighted pathway topiary trees and a giant wreath that hung on the front door again from a velvet ribbon. Inside a sleigh was in the foyer with presents and bottles for guests. I stared to count the decorated trees and from the three at the barn to the two more in the foyer alone, my count was up to five lavishly decorated trees.
“Rand this is amazing, I fell like I’m at the North Pole.”
“You’re amazing Madison, come here.” Before I could even remove my coat, he was pulling me upstairs. He pushed past some of his guests which were mostly neighbors and close friends. He promised to introduce me a bit later. When we reached the second floor, he took me down the hallway to his bedroom. “Madison, close your eyes.”
I wondered if he was going to take me there and now upstairs while all the guests remained below us. My thighs trembled and my heart rate increased. I felt the exciting tingle in my lower body just as I did a few days ago with Rand behind the holiday tree. The tree then hid us from the band while friends were just above in the loft. I kept my eyes closed with anticipation. He led me slowly and carefully forward, pulling my hand lightly. He stopped me and turned me toward the direction he wanted and said, “Merry Christmas Madison, you can open your eyes.”
As I opened my eyes I first glanced to him and looked puzzled and then he pointed. I looked forward. Hung on his wall in front of me was a painting “Embrace” by the same artist that we liked from South Beach. The other artist’s painting was in my bedroom “Separation.” This painting was beautiful. It brought the two images of the lovers in the first painting together and it was huge, covering a large portion of his wall. He already had it professionally hung and a light that illuminated the placard that read, “Embrace.”
“Rand, it’s beautiful, I love it.” With that Rand took me into his arms, touching his lips to mine.
“I think of you every time I look at it.” He passionately kissed me, and after a moment I opened up for him. I reveled in the moment as our tongues danced together. When he set me down, I had to speak.
“Rand, it’s lovely. I didn’t know there was another painting in the collection.” He was smiling glad that I truly liked it. I then had to finish conveying my thoughts to him. “Rand I’m sorry I came here late today, I wasn’t going to come.”
“Wait, did you just say you weren’t coming?”
“Yes, I felt like I was being dishonest to you because I read a message you received when you played at the 2
nd
Street Coffee Café. You’re definitely keeping something from me.”
“Madison I asked you to trust me, can you do that?”
I completely ignored his question and kept right on speaking. “I drank so much that night at your show because of that message and then I saw some of the other messages.”
“Do you think I am keeping something from you that will hurt you, would I ever hurt you?”
“I don’t know what you’re hiding, but I really need to know, Rand who is “G”?”
Again, there was a long pause before he spoke, “Madison I should talk to you about her,” he pulled me to sit on the bed. My head started to reel and I felt this wasn’t going to be good, but I needed to hear this. Rand was about to speak when he heard Maxwell calling for him from downstairs. Maxwell also sent a message to his phone that he had returned from picking up very important guests and for Rand to come down to greet them, right now. I stood behind Rand as he started down the hall to the stairs as I was about to dart off into the bathroom to cry. I was so frustrated at not finishing our conversation.
He stopped and turned to me and smiled, “I promise I will never hurt you and we’ll continue this conversation later, but please trust me.” I was a big girl so I sucked it up and followed behind him and wondered what he would have just told me had we not been interrupted. I figured before the night ended I would know.
As we reached the bottom of the stairs, Rand went ahead and I heard him say, “Welcome!” I heard a female voice lightly speaking telling Rand that she was so thankful to him for getting her here. I came around him to see who was here and froze. Rand looked at me, then to his guests then back to me, and I hadn’t even blinked yet then he looked back to his guests. Rand broke the stunned stares. “Madison, this is “G”, you know Grace, your mother.”
I stood and tears filled my eyes, I didn’t know what to do. Should I hug her? Run upstairs and pitch a fit for him not telling me and throwing me to her here and now? I thought “G” was a girlfriend, so many things raced in my head. Before me now standing was an older vision of myself. I never thought it was my mother he was getting messages from. I noticed that my Uncle Jake was holding on to her, standing at her side and keeping her steady as she looked so nervous and just as stunned as I did. Rand walked to me and held me up as well.
He whispered in my ear, “Madison I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner. I didn’t mean to have you not trust me. I wanted to surprise you. I found her after your father died while I was in Galveston and looked them up. I went and met them with Maxwell. I told her your father passed away and I kept in touch with her hoping she would accept my plane tickets and visit you on Christmas.”
“I can’t believe you did all this,” I quietly said to him.
“Well, Maxwell and I made all the arrangements for getting them from the airport to a hotel stay the past few nights. You can thank Maxwell he brought them here today, so I could stay to see you first.”
I glanced at Maxwell and mouthed thank you.
“Madison, I know you’ve missed her and I wanted to help you be reunited.” He was done whispering and lightly kissed my cheek. I was shaking. I was so scared to do the wrong thing. I turned and hugged him and cried and didn’t want to take my arms off him. I asked if I could talk to him for a moment.
We walked down the side hall toward the sunroom. I noticed that there were yet two more decorated holiday trees in the sunroom bringing my silent count to seven. I told him I was frightened. I didn’t know how to act, that there is no book written to tell you how to handle something like this. He told me he would be right there with me and not leave my side. He wiped my face and then kissed it all over to clean up any remaining wetness and said for me to go say hello to my mother. I held his hand so tightly. I walked with him step by step.
I hugged my mother with my other arm since I never let Rand’s hand loose. I then held my Uncle Jake gently too. My mother started to cry. I told her in between my sobs, “Mom we need not relive the past and who did what wrong or right, I’m so grateful to have you standing here at this moment.”
“Madison, you are lovely, I never thought I would see the day with us together again.”
“It has been so long Mom.” It was a giant step that she and my uncle came all this way for me, and a greater step that Rand had put this all together for me. I felt sad that I had doubted him thinking the worst. My heart hurt. I had hoped that someday perhaps Rand would feel this ache too. It was a good hurt, perhaps one day his father Paul would return or find a way to him.
“Madison, I love you so much,” my mother said as she again hugged me and I still had not released Rand’s hand. I think he had lost blood to it from my hold as it felt chilled.
This day could not have gotten any better, we all hugged and cried and ate and drank and it was truly a family holiday. Maxwell was very kind to have helped Rand with all this and he enjoyed conversation with my Uncle Jake a lot. They both liked discussing music. My mother and I shared moments of conversation, first about how long it has been since we have seen one another. We then focused on the present. A lot of our talk was about Rand.
“Madison he is so gorgeous and so kind, he has my approval, and I so happy you have found someone.”
“Mom, he is great on the eyes, but I’m really unsure what we are to one another, but I’m hopeful.”
Rand left us alone to reconnect for quite awhile. When the day turned into the evening, I slipped out to my car to retrieve Rand’s gift. I brought it in to share with him while I left my mother and uncle talking with Maxwell and other guests that Rand invited. I took his hand in mine and lead him to the living room and where there were, yes, three more decorated trees all different sizes each with so many colorful decorations and hanging musical note ornaments. Truly at this point I had lost count of the many trees that he had professionally decorated, but the holiday decorations were so beautifully orchestrated.
We sat of the sofa near the fireplace and surrounded with this fresh cut tree line view. I handed him a gift box. I spoke as I was dazzled by his blue eyes.
“Rand I didn’t know what to get you for the holiday, but then I stumbled upon this and I knew it was meant for you. I cross my heart that I have so enjoyed every moment since we’ve met.” I leaned in and took hold of his face and pulled him in to kiss his lips tenderly.
Rand opened the box and looked so happy; there was a cuff bracelet like mine but this one had a cross that shimmered and picked up all the light from the Christmas trees. It was mesmerizing. He hadn’t worn the cuff for Ashley on his wrist since I learned of her story. In fact, that cuff was now on the memorabilia wall in his corner. So he removed the cuff from the box and let me fasten it tightly to his wrist, and I kissed it when I was done. He pulled me closer and we kissed, staying in that embrace for some time without any mistletoe near us.
We joined the others and Rand had one more holiday surprise up his sleeve. He announced, “Thank you all for coming today. I hope you’re having fun. I would now like to play a tune I’ve been working on. It’s called
Our Holiday.
And Rand began to play–
I could live all my holidays
If I could spend them along with you.
Every breath of this lifetime,
Is another moment I wait to come true.
As you are a beloved gift for me
I’ll wrap you delicately in shades of love,
I’ll tie us with a thick bow of wonder
For us each to thank our maker above.
Because every holiday is nothing without you,
Every moment everyday is celebration in my heart
Cheerfulness surrounds me as I reach a touch of you,
Every moment everyday keeps building from the start.
I was the one, who saw you just below my stage,
Something unspoken was captured deep in your look.
I never knew what could be ahead of us.
But I am certain of the passionate path we took.
Here it is now the whitening of wintertime,
Let us make our festival together,
Savor my gift of my words and song.
Please stay wrapped within our holiday of forever.
Because every holiday is nothing without you,
Every moment everyday is celebration in my heart
Cheerfulness surrounds me as I reach a touch of you,
Every moment everyday keeps building from our start.
Everyday is a holiday as long as you are near.
Everyday is my holiday as long as you are near.
He sang this with so much emotion. We were hanging on at the end of the song wanting more. He lifted his head several times while playing his guitar and caught my eyes and sang. I was so teary that I wasn’t sure if I could ever cry this much in a day again. I realized that I had become his inspiration behind this song and he felt something very deep for me. I was now going to need something to drink. I think I’d dehydrated myself from all of the crying. When he finished everyone clapped loudly and went up to him with a warm hug. I cannot believe watching all this love overflowing in this house today that I almost didn’t come here.