Rock Notes (Book One of the Heartbeat Series) (29 page)

“Well I tried so many times to get closer to you and get you alone while you were writing for the band, but there were too many times your ex-husband Thomas returned and I wasn’t sure where you were heading. He was at the concert all the way in Austin, Texas, then at the hospital when your father passed away; he was again at your house for your birthday. I actually met Thomas, it was at your home at your birthday party, I had flown in with Raeford, a last minute red eye flight decision, to surprise you for your birthday and Raeford to see Jillian for the night and I came to your house, not expecting a party to be going on. Raeford and I separated when we landed as he went to see Jillian and I went to buy you as many roses as I could find in short notice and at that late evening hour.”

“Rand all I thought of on my birthday was the wish that I would see you when Raeford told me you returned with him.”

“Madison, all I wanted was to see you, I wanted to hold you so badly and Thomas answered your door and said he was throwing you a private birthday party. I could see he did not want me to cross the threshold and he even came out to the front step to talk to me. He made it crystal clear I was not welcome, he then asked me what I was to you; I told him my true feelings about you, I told him I was totally in love with you.”

“You told Thomas you loved me?”

“Yes and he didn’t take it well, Thomas said that I would hurt you and leave you, funny coming from the man that did just that. I knew then I would never leave you, I would find a way to you. I handed him all the different bouquets of roses, there was no note to any of them, as I intended to be speaking from my heart what I would have written on a card, and Thomas took the flowers and went back to your party and closed the door to me.”

“Rand I thought he had those flowers delivered to me, I never knew.”

“Well I will continue to bring you many more now that you’re mine.”

“I am yours, all yours.”

“Madison I also tried to get to see you on Thanksgiving Day, despite Maxwell getting ill and having to take him to the doctor, once he was out of the woods health wise, we flew in on the next flight we could get and I did get to your house and it was late and as I walked up the edge of your driveway to surprise you and feel that Thanksgiving warmth of you in my arms after such a long time away, I saw you and Thomas, you were pulling him into a tight embrace and into your front door. I stayed outside to see you both walk past your front window enjoying a glass of wine near your fireplace; again this time it was clearly not my place to intrude. I felt I let you down.”

“But, I never knew you were there,” I let out a shocked gasp. I was still was reeling from all that Rand was saying. Rand reached down and cupped my chin and said, “Madison, I have always felt something so deep for you, beyond the scope of love. I was so glad to see you the day after Thanksgiving; at least we got that time together. You had forgotten your scarf and it smelled like you. For days I would hold that scarf to my nose, inhaling your scent, closing my eyes and imagining that you were close. The scent faded but I still managed to get the feel that you were with me almost every day.”

“Now I know what you meant when you said you could smell me. I was wondering about that.”

“I know that many times that we were apart you assumed I was having sex with fans. I am sure you watched some of the video feeds from our travels that would surely imply that. Madison, I swear on my sister Ashley that I have never been intimate with another girl since I met you. The nights I never returned until dawn I was writing music, all about you, or thinking and dreaming only of you. Last night making love for the first time to you blew my mind, and as you told me you loved me and crossed my heart with your fingers, I knew your feelings were true. My heart began to feel again.”

“I thought you were sleeping, that’s why I confessed my love.”

“I heard your words and felt your gentle touch, the letters that spell love were simply not enough of a commitment for me to say back to you.”

“I had to leave, I had to find Russ back at my house, knowing he would be there from last night’s party. My New Year’s resolution was to give you a permanent proposal tattoo for all that you have given back to my heart. I thought I had no love left to give, and I don’t care who has been in your heart before, but you have given me so much more love than I could ever ask for. My heart aches for you. Madison will you please become Mrs. Madison Rand please marry me and stay with me…forever, always be in my front row, hell jump on my stage and stay with me by my side forever?”

I finally sobbed and caught my breath, nodding yes to Rand as I continued to shake. I was found and Rand had truly become my rock, my solstice, my world. I had written so many love notes for him with the hopes of this possibility of Rand and me falling in love. I was so complete and my love overflowing with the hopes and dreams now for our future together. He then began to climb up over me as I laid back on the bed. I think laying there on my bed on the fluffy white comforter, I had gone to heaven and as he came close to kiss me and I felt the heat between us.

I was left completely breathless. I let him take me over, he entered me. He filled me and completed me, and I realized he found love again, and we found love again in one another. It was much more powerful this time around. I rested my head on his upper body next to his cross tattoo and closed my eyes mentally thanking whatever force had brought us together, and I felt each and every heartbeat that played from within his chest.

Epilogue – Starting Line

W
e have crossed the starting line into a relationship between Rand and me. So much has begun since I kissed “YES” to his permanent proposal. We spend a lot of time at his home although I still visit my townhome sometimes. My mother and uncle occupy it now since they have relocated back to Philly from Galveston, Texas. My
Rock Notes
has been picked up by a publishing house thanks to the persistence of one little charming young lady, Cecile. My
Love Notes
I still continue to create with each new memory we make. It is all the love that pours into my heart that keeps me inspired. Rand remains firm that he has not read any of them but will want to someday when I am ready to share them with him. His love travels through my blood and pumps into my heart, a constant invigorating feeling.

I never did have my awesome writing desk delivered to my home as I occupy that corner of writing space at the rehearsal studio in the barn often. I have my own tiny brick space on
The Wall,
where the band and Rand has let me gather some of my own memorabilia. Most of which are Post-it notes for future writing pieces attached there and I have added a photo of his naked back with his marriage proposal tattoo.

Rand, he has been so busy with song writing and will hopefully soon release his first solo album. Maxwell has been a great coach to him, but told him it will happen but all good things take time. It is titled “Simply Mad” named after me, Madison. His cover is being created and he wants it to contain my original column photograph. His song playlist that he has written all the songs to and may add more, I have only heard him play two thus far.

New Album, “
Simply Mad
”
for Madison

This is his song list:

• My Front Row

• Sweet Nervous One

• Secret Musical Note

• Simply Mad

• Empty Heart

• Always Interrupted

• Embrace Us

• Our Holiday

• Cross Your Heart

• Permanent Proposal

At the concert Thomas and I attended in Austin, Texas he had tearfully sang to me
Empty Heart.
And on the joyous holiday we all shared and the loving reunion of my mother and uncle with me he unveiled his song
Our Holiday.
I have peeked at his lyrics and new songs for the album. Here is one where it all started:

My Front Row

I feel you in the crowd,

Or am I just imagining?

Oh, I need you right now,

Or am, I just wishing?

I know where you have been,

I want to keep you near.

I am blessed you are my front row,

But without your love I fear.

You don’t know where I’ve been

You can’t see what’s ahead

You don’t know how I feel

You just look where you’re lead.

I’m so glad that you came

I have needed to understand you

You’re the vision from my front row

And I don’t know what to do.

You don’t know where I’ve been

You can’t see what’s ahead

You don’t know how I feel

You just look where you’re lead
.

I want to find a hopeful place

Where I can lay you down

I want to be with you always

So amazed my heart’s been found.

You don’t know where I’ve been

You can’t see what’s ahead

You don’t know how I feel

You just look where you’re lead.

So, look at me,

Please, look to me,

From the front row,

I can see,

We will see,

What you don’t know.

Also here is another that warms me –

Embrace Us

Take hold of me in your arms

There is no place else for us to go.

Let’s move against one another

Hold tight and move nice and slow.

Embrace Me

And you will look no more

Embrace Me

And you will taste for more

Embrace Us, Embrace Us

Feel the passion in the air

Breathe in the love we have found.

Feel our heated energy ignite

Cling to strengthen our hold that we are bound.

Embrace Me

And you will look no more

Embrace Me

And you will taste for more

Embrace Us, Embrace Us

So hold tight, so pull me in,

No release, we are suddenly locked together.

This is right, so let’s begin,

Inhale, move in each others steps forever.

Embrace Me

And you will look no more

Embrace Me

And you will taste for more

Embrace Us

Embrace Us, Embrace Us

And finally I guess the song that started all his inspiration and that he was crazy in love with me as I am now with him –

Simply Mad – (For Madison)

I am Simply Mad

Without you.

I am Simply Mad

I turn to you.

As I break down,

You comfort me.

I cover my eyes,

You make me see.

Without you

I am Simply Mad.

I turn to you

When I am Simply Mad.

I am Crazy,

dancing in my head.

I am going crazy,

singing out your name.

I see you everywhere,

I hear your voice.

I see you everywhere,

I hear your voice.

I see you everywhere.

I am Simply Mad

Without you.

I am Simply Mad

I turn to you.

Without you

I become Simply Mad.

I run to you

When I am Simply Mad.

I see you everywhere,

I hear your voice.

I see you everywhere,

I hear your voice.

I see you everywhere.

Somewhere in our busy phases of creativity, Rand’s writing music and my writing about him. We both are going to need to carve out some real time because right now the most important thing is
I’ve got a wedding to plan!

Readers:

I want to thank you for purchasing
Rock Notes
. I loved writing this novel and hope you enjoyed reading it. Please feel free to reach out to me with a comment.