Rock Your Heart Out (Sinful Serenade #3) (25 page)

"Sure."

"He likes you a lot," Pete says.

"How can you tell?" I ask.

"He didn't offer to kill Kyle."

I laugh. "You have a good sense of humor about things."

"Didn't have much of a choice growing up." He turns his back to me. "I'd offer to talk to Drew but we've never really seen eye to eye about anything."

"That's okay. Just keep this a secret until I figure out how to tell him," I say.

"As much as I like to fuck with Tom, I'd never betray his trust." Pete nods.

Tom is on the other side of the plane. On a love seat. I go to him, slide my hands around his shoulders and press my lips into his neck.

"He'll be okay," I say.

Tom nods. "Wish he wasn't taking after me, getting into fights. My mom is gonna kill me."

"I want to hear more about her."

"I'm not sure I want to talk right now."

"Then hold me for five minutes. Please."

A small groan escapes his lips.

Ah, it's the magic word. I whisper in his ears. "Please."

"You keep saying that and I'm gonna get hard."

"That isn't a problem for me."

"You know Pete likes to watch. Or at least to listen."

I shrug. "So let him listen."

"Damn. You really are naughty." He brings his body behind mine. "Never held anybody this much."

"Is it bad?"

"No." His voice is a whisper. "Different."

My eyes flutter closed. It's late. It would be easy to fall asleep in Tom's arms. It would be just as easy to give in to the lust building between my legs, kick off my panties, and pull him on top of me. But I can still feel the uneasiness in his body. He needs somebody. He might not realize it, but he does.

I won't let myself believe he needs me. Not yet. Not even if I already need him.

"Are you going to see your Mom while we're in Los Angeles?" I ask.

"Yeah. Day after tomorrow. She lives in Tustin. It's about an hour drive from our place in Hollywood. I wanted to go straight there but she's really insistent about us not giving up anything for her. Even Kara's graduation party. All due respect to Kara—she's a sweet girl—but Ophelia's a lot more important to me." His voice wavers. "Of course, in her infinite stubbornness she told me she'll be out all day, with her ex. The one who hates me. Supposedly, she'd prefer me not being there anyway."

"Do you believe her?"

"Yeah. She'll do anything to get her way. But it's not out of malice. She always knows what we need."

"Sounds like you."

"I learned a lot from her." He nods. "Should have seen us fighting over me dropping out of school. Wasn't like I planned it. Just didn't take her getting sick too well. She was the first person who thought I was something other than a piece of shit."

There's something about his voice, a vulnerability. I squeeze his hand, offering whatever comfort I can.

He's quiet for a minute. When he breaks the silence, his voice wavers. Like he's not sure if he should share his secret. "My dad was never in the picture. My biological mom was a drug addict who let her boyfriend beat me when he came down from his high. A teacher picked up on it when I was eleven, then the state stepped in. Must have been in four or five foster homes before Ophelia. All the families were the same. Thought I was some no good punk. I was. Got into fights with the other kids, hit people, got suspended. Only thing I didn't do was drugs."

I turn to face him. There's an ocean of pain in his eyes. It sinks into my skin, as real as my own. I never want him to hurt again. That's impossible, I know, but I need to be there the next time he hurts, to ease his pain however I can.

I wrap my arms around Tom. It must do something to comfort him because his posture relaxes. He leans into my touch.

"Ophelia was the first person who saw past that. The only person. I didn't know how I could ever live in a world that didn't include her. I went on some stupid drinking and fighting tear to convince myself I'd be fine without her."

"What happened?"

"Didn't work. I held it together at home but I was a wreck the rest of the time. Would say I was going to school but I'd go to this practice space instead and I'd play until I was too tired to feel anything." He rubs his cheek against mine. "When she found out, she refused to let me take her to the hospital for her treatments until I got back in school. Refused to update me on how she was doing. Threatened to write specific instructions into her will to ban me from the funeral. She's always had a dark sense of humor."

"She didn't want to be a burden to you."

He nods. "Only time in my life I ever compromised was getting my GED to please her." He pulls me closer. "If the cancer's back, that's it. They don't have a way to treat it."

"That must be terrifying."

"Yeah."

"Can I come with you?" I ask. "When you see her?"

"I appreciate the thought, kid, but it's not a good idea."

"Why not?" I bite my lip. "I care about you. I want to be there for you."

Tom shakes his head. He pushes off the couch and plops in a seat by himself. "I'm gonna try and get some sleep."

He pulls a blanket to his chest and reclines his seat.

And that's it.

End of conversation.

A
fter the flight lands, we take a cab to Tom and Pete's place in Hollywood. It's a huge house, the kind that belongs on an episode of
Cribs
. The main room has a tall ceiling and a curving staircase straight out of
Sunset Boulevard
. There's a big backyard in the back, complete with a shining blue pool.

It's Southern California celebrity perfection.

Pete excuses himself to his room. Tom sits me on the couch and presses his lips into my neck.

It's as soft and sweet as it was yesterday but it feels different. Fuller and emptier at once.

"I'll make coffee." He steps backwards. "We have an hour before we have to leave. You can take the shower down here or the one in my room."

"You have a shower in your room?"

Tom smiles smugly. "I got the master bedroom."

"How did you pull that off?"

He shrugs nonchalantly. There's no pain in his eyes. Is he hiding it from me or from himself? I try to convince myself that he's feeling better because of my epic comforting skills, but the suggestion falls flat. His mom might be dying. That kind of pain doesn't go away because of a hug and a nice night of sleep.

I find the downstairs bathroom and take a long, hot shower. I'm not ready to face the onslaught of feelings that come with being in the same room as Tom so I take my sweet, sweet time changing into my party dress and doing my makeup.

I'm almost finished when there's a soft knock on the door.

"Why do I feel like you're avoiding me?" Tom asks.

"Just getting ready."

"You want coffee? We have almond milk."

"Okay."

"It's already waiting on the counter." He taps the door. "There's plenty of snacks in the fridge if you're hungry. Our housekeeper makes sure the kitchen is full of food whenever we'll be home."

I press my fingers into the door at the places he's tapping, so the thick plaster is between is. "No. I'm not hungry."

“Is there something exciting in the bathroom or are you ready to admit you’ve avoiding me?”

I don't know what to say here. I unlock the door and step into the main room.

Tom is all cleaned up in slacks and a button down shirt. Damn, does he look good cleaned up. Just as sexy as he does in his usual tattooed bad boy jeans and t-shirt.

Tom's eyes scan my body. "You look fucking hot."

"Thanks."

His gaze goes to my chest. "Tell me you're not wearing panties either."

"Either?"

"You're not wearing a bra."

"How do you know?"

"Your nipples are hard."

"It's cold."

"It's almost eighty degrees outside and the windows are open." He gives me a thorough once-over. "Don't tell me. It will be even harder not to touch you in front of Drew." Tom shakes his head. "Never thought I'd be this disappointed to go to a party."

"You really like having sex with me."

"Fuck, yes." Tom pulls me into the kitchen and hands me a cup of coffee. "Why does that sound accusatory?"

"It's not."

He looks at me carefully. "You want eggs?"

I nod.

"Well, you'll have to wait until we can pick something up. I can't cook for shit."

I laugh. "You're a tease."

"Thank you."

I take a long sip of my coffee. It's good—dark, nutty, creamy, and sweet at once—but that doesn't make this easier. "Why don't you want me to come with you to see your mom?"

Tom runs a hand through his hair. He doesn't say anything. There's all this pain in his eyes. Confusion too. "Need some time to think."

"About what?"

"Can't exactly explain it."

"I don't want to add to your frustration," I say. "I'm sure there's a lot on your mind, with your mom. I don't want to make that harder for you."

"You don't, kid."

I stare back into his eyes. They're earnest. But then why doesn't he want me there? I take a deep breath. My lack of sleep isn't helping me find clarity in the situation. "We can talk about this, about what it is, after you see your mom."

He looks at me for a while. "If you're sure that's what you want."

I'm already loving the idea. I don't want to add to
my
frustration either. I want a fun night with Tom in Los Angeles. I want everything to feel easy and effortless again.

I finish my coffee and set the cup on the end table. "Positive."

He presses his lips to my neck. "If I see you frowning, I'm going to use every tool at my disposal to get a different expression on your face."

"Like..."

He runs his hands over my chest. "This." Then down my sides and along the hem of my skirt. "This." He pulls me closer so his erection is pressed against my crotch. "This."

"This?" I press my lips into his.

"No. Like this." He slides his hand around the back of my neck and pulls me into a long, deep kiss.

I see fireworks. Even as I pull back and open my eyes.

"Oh," I breathe.

There are footsteps upstairs.

"We don't have twenty minutes," Pete says. "Either make it a quickie or find another ride to Kara's."

I laugh.

Tom shakes his head, but he untangles our bodies.

***

T
he party is in full swing when we arrive. Kara practically bounces over to us. Hard to tell what her legs are doing under her royal blue dress. She always looks picture perfect, but today she's especially glowing and glamorous.

"I can't believe it, but I actually missed you two." Kara smiles.

She pulls Tom into a hug before he can escape. He grimaces. Slowly, he accepts the hug. Pete doesn't take it much better.

Kara turns to me. "How are you doing, Willow?"

"Good. Except for the jet lag," I say.

She takes a long look at me. "Hmm. Yes. I bet it was the flight keeping you up late." Her gaze goes to Tom. "Not anything else."

Tom shrugs
who me
?

Kara nods
yes, you
. She shakes her head in a teasing way.

"Congrats on your degree," Pete says. "We got you something—"

Tom cuts in, handing her a blue gift bag stuffed with yellow paper. "You'll like it."

"Aw, thanks guys. It's even in my school colors." Her expression fills with affection. "You didn't have to do that."

"We did." Tom winks. "Drew can thank us later."

Kara blushes. "Oh, lord. Tell me it's not inappropriate."

Tom feigns innocence.

Kara peeks inside the bag. Her cheeks turn red. She pulls the gift from the bag, showing off a naughty teacher lingerie set.

"Don't worry. We got Meg one too. Had to special order a doctor outfit. It's all naughty nurses." Tom folds his arms with outraged. "Can you believe the sexism?"

Kara throws him some serious side eye. She points to a table stocked with food and drinks. "Be a gentleman for once in your life, Tom, and pour my girl Willow a drink."

Tom stays put.

Kara puts her arms on her hips. "Go." She nods to Pete. "You too."

The boys do as they are told. Tom motions for me to follow. I take my time filling a plate with snacks. There's a lot of food here. Fruit, veggies, chips, cakes and cookies, a platter of sushi. I fill up on avocado rolls and watermelon.

Tom's hand brushes against mine. It sends a jolt of electricity straight to my core. My body wakes up with all kinds of demands about where and how it wants him.

"You want a drink?" He holds up a bottle of tequila. "There's only tequila, but the way Kara and Meg moan over their grapefruit and tequilas, you'd think that was the drink called a screaming orgasm."

"No, I'm okay."

"You sure?"

I nod.

He sets the bottle down. "Then I'll hold off."

"You don't have to stay sober for me."

"I know." He runs his fingertips over my lower back as he leans in to whisper. "I have better uses for my mouth."

Oh my.

"Guessing I can't talk you into sneaking upstairs." His fingers brush my ass, over my dress. "You're not wearing panties, are you?"

"I'm not."

He lets out the most delicious groan.

My mind fills with all sorts of beautiful ideas. How is it I'm tempted to sneak upstairs? I shouldn't be this willing to bend to my body's demands. Not when there's so much at stake.

But damn do I want Tom pressed against me, those delicious groans of his filling my ears as he comes.

Fuck, it's hot in here. Black was a poor choice. Even if this dress is the sexiest thing I own. Even if it's what I was wearing that night when Tom and I had sex and the world finally made sense again.

My cheeks flush. But not from Tom's words or his proximity. No. There's this strange feeling in my stomach. Someone is watching. I scan the room. Sure enough, Kara has her eyes on us. She's talking to an older woman in a suit—must be her mom—but she's looking at us.

She raises a brow.

I shrug, denying whatever it is she's accusing me of.