ROCKED BY THE WAVES (16 page)

«I need to be alone», he said. Then he left.

I stood still. He was angry. What shall I do? I feared he would break up with me because of that letter.

I decided to fetch him. He was standing in the stable, hia back against the wall.

«Sam? Are you angry? You know I didn’t encourage him...»

He pretended not to hear me.

«What’s wrong, Sam? Are you going to leave me?»

He turned to me.

«Are you insane?», he said in a cold voice.

«Do you want me to go back to London?»

He came to me.

«You are not going anywhere without me. I don’t want you to!», he said pushing me against the wall.

He looked like a beast. He was not my sweet and loving Sam, not at all.

«What do you want me to do, Sam?», I said breathlessly.

«You break it up with Keir, or I’ll do it».

«How can I do such a thing?»

He kicked the wall with his fist, just a few centimetres from my head.

«Claire. I mean it».

I stood still. I was scared and shocked.

«What do you want to do, then?»

I could barely whisper.

«I’m sure you already know it».

I did. I knew he was perfectly able to kill Keir. And I was scared.

He was not my Sam.

He took my hand and pushed me in a corner. He shut the door and I stood still. He looked at me. He then pushed me over the flour bags and lifted my skirt.

«Sam, stop it».

He was on top of me. He opened his trousers.

«Sam! Stop it!»

He approached my face and whispered in my hear: «You are mine and no one else’s».

He kissed me as I tried to stop him.

I tried to speak to him.

«Sam, no. Not like this. Not in here. I married you! Remember? You have to respect me».

He kissed my forehead.

«I respect you, but you needed to know».

«Know what? That you can be mean?»

«That I’do anything for you. Anything».

«So scaring me looked like a good idea to you?»

«Not good, but it worked».

«That’s ridiculous. I can’t write to him, I don’t have his address! What shall I do, talk to his family?»

«You could try to write to the army. Do something!»

We both took a deep breath. He helped me stand up.

«The kids must have woken up, let’s go».

«Why did you want to be alone?», I asked as we got out of the stable.

«I needed to think».

«About what?»

«I needed to calm down and see what I was really ready to do for you».

«You failed to do the first. So what are you ready to do?»

«Do you really want to know?»

I didn’t. I remained silent.

«Right», he said.

«Sam, do you really think that I neglect you?»

He didn’t answer.

«I love you, but you must understand me. Be kind to me».

I hugged me.

«I’m sorry if I scared you. Yes, sometimes I do feel you neglect me. But we have two kids, then... I’m sorry».

He caressed my hair.

«Don’t act like that twice».

«I won’t», he smiled.

He had overreacted, but I loved him. How could I live without him? On the day after, I wrote a letter to Keir.

Prince Edward Island, June the 10th, 1895

Dear Keir,

I am writing to you to tell you that your feelings for me are not appreciated. I don’t love you and I would like it if you stopped writing to me.

I don’t want you to put yourself in danger and I am sorry for you. I just hope you find a good girl who loves you with whom you might have a family. Because I already have mine.

We are not secret lovers, we never were. I love my husband and I have two kids.

I made my choice and I am happy about iy. I won’t leave my family. So, please, don’t keep on acting like that.

All the best,

Claire Campbell

«Yeah, I like that», said Sam. «Sounds effective».

«Would that be effective on you?»

«No, but I truly love you».

«All right. Let’s just hope it works on him».

I smiled at him. And he took the letter. He went to send it at once.

The days flew by. It was sunny and hot. Spring had blossomed in and the grass was incredibly green. Fruit was delicious. I loved the flowers and the sight of our garden.

Moon was back.

She had brought a bunch of friends with her and they spent their days fishing.

It was the end of June, when we heard the news.

Rhona had got a message that was to be delivered at once. It was from her husband. I read it and shouted: «Sam! Sam!». He came to me, followed by Eddy.

«What’s up, my dear?»

I was so happy I couldn’t stop jumping and smiling.

«Renny and Robert are coming!»

He looked at me.

«But... is it safe? It’s great news, but...»

I had not realised that, but I was sure Renny had been careful enough not to let Alex find out anything.

«It’s a business trip. Officially, I mean. Mr Price is retiring, so Renny needs to go over the papers and settle things down... Sounds convincing, right?»

He thought about that for a while.

«So why is Robert here?»

«They are travelling on a cargo. Robert always comes with Renny, when they do. And you’ll get the chance to meet them!»

«Will we have to tell them we’re married?»

«I don’t think Renny will be shocked. And he already might have thought of that».

Sam seemed more relaxed.

«So... let’s get ready! Rhona will help us».

We headed home.

«What about Edward? Will we tell them...»

«If they ask, yes. But they won’t care».

«Nobody will take my son from me».

I caressed his cheek. «Nobody will want to».

We got in. Rhona was making dinner. She was with Peigi and Logan. They were talking about their kids and they didn’t notice us getting in.

«Good afternoon, ladies», said Sam.

They all jumped.

«Good afternoon, Laird», they replied.

«We have good news...», Sam said.

They all looked at my belly.

«No, not yet. We are waiting for two guests... they are very important to us. My brother in law, Claire’s brother, and a very good friend of ours».

They stared at us. Guests from England. It must have been a shock to them.

When we were left alone, Sam asked me: «Would you want a third child?»

«Only if it’s a girl».

He was happy.

«We must exercise...»

«We must».

Scottish loved big families. They all had three or four children. Their society relied on clans, which actually meant «children».

Sam was an only child, but he still wanted a big family. He loved children and I loved them too.

«Why don’t we send Rhona home?»

He was willing to make love.

«She is going home. But we should feed the kids and put them to bed».

He shook his head.

«Right».

When we were finally alone, we made love passionately. It was beyond our bodies. It was something more, than couldn’t be helped. We were both overcome by feelings and love. We were one body and one soul. It was an endless circle of energy that knew no ending. We were sweating and panting, but we very happy. We made love again and again.

Marcus woke up and so did Edward, so we stood up and our plans came to an end, after all.

When we woke up, we were hugging.

«I’ll take care of Eddy», Sam said.

I stood up, even if I was sleepy.

«I’ll breastfeed Marcus and go back to bed».

When we went back to bed, Sam took me in his arms and put me on top of him. He caressed my back and my hair.

«Sleep tight», he said.

MELTING POT

It was mid-July, when Renny and Robert came to Nova Scotia. I was in the garden with Moon and we were playing with the kids. I was running and laughing like a child myself. Moon was watering our plants and Sam was teaching Edward how to ride.

The child was on his pony and he was looking at Sam with his big eyes. He seemed to be happy.

I looked at the hills and saw two horses approaching. My heart stopped at once.

I had to admit to myself, that I had been very worried about them. I still was, at least partly, because they had gotten into our «secret land», and it was a risk, of course. They were charming. One of them was dark-haired and blue-eyed, the other one was blond and had green eyes. They were elegantly dressed. They had not changed a bit.

I run to them, and so they did. Everyone was straing at us. Renny got off his horse and run to me. I hugged him, while he kissed my hair.

«Oh, I missed you, Claire», he whispered. I was crying.

«Sam, it is so nice meeting you again».

«The pleasure’s all mine».

«And who’s this little boy?»

«Your nephew, Edward. You’ll meet Marcus soon. He’s sleeping and he is our second born». Renny jumped. I was still his little sister and he didn’t expect such a double surprise.

«Where’s Robert?»

He was stading a few metres from us.

«Here I am».

I hugged him.

We headed home and I hugged Renny. Sam was making friends with Robert: they were talking about the journey to get to Nova Scotia.

«This is a paradise, Claire. I can’t wait to tell dad».

«I can’t wait to meet him. Will he come soon? Is he well?»

«He is well, yes. He wants to retire and leave everything to me. I don’t know if I can manage our business on my own, though».

Our dad was a good business man. He was good at decision making and at negotiating. But my brother was good too.

«Of course you can, you silly one», I said.

«If he retires, he ‘ll come visit very soon».

«I can’t wait».

I approached Moon and said Renny: «This is Moon, my best friend».

Renny looked surprised. He had never met a Mi’kmaw in his life. He greeted her.

I looked at him and smiled.

«You don’t need to be formal, with her», I said.

«But she’s a lady, I mean...»

Sam came to us. «My dear fellow, you’ll get used to that. We’re not in London, here».

Renny smiled and Robert introduced himself to Moon. We had Renny and Robert meet Rhona, who was clearly stuck at my brother’s resemblance with me.

«I’m so happy to meet you, Sir. Your sister was so excited at the very thought of your arrival».

«And this is Robert, Rhona».

She looked at him. He belonged to the upper-class, that showed.

We introduced everyone, but Marcus woke up so I had to go feed him.

When I was back, I found them in the living room. They were drinking cognac and laughing. Edward was with Sam. I was holding Marcus and Renny looked at him. He knew at once, I was sure of that, that Marcus and Eddy weren’t both Sam’s.

«So, you’re drinking cognac!», I said.

«Well, Renny brought it... for me», Sam said.

«They’ll want to freshen up, let’s show them their rooms».

«You’ve become quite a Scottish, Claire!», laughed Renny.

«It’s Sam’s fault».

Sam kissed me.

«I’ll get changed and then I’ll play with my nephews», Renny said.

I took them to their rooms.  One of them was a double room with a kitchen, a living room and a bathroom. The other one was a single room, but it was not far from the other. The stable was just around the corner, in case they wanted to go for a ride on their own. I kissed Renny, then went to sit under the porch with Sam.

«Happiness suits you».

I hugged him.

«Did you like them?»

He kissed me. «Your brother looks like you. I bet he is good-hearted. Robert is very kind and well educated. I like them both and I think they make a great couple».

«Just like us!»

«Yes».

«They are your age, you know? They have been together since they were eighteen. They met at a party and fell in love. They have known each other for a long time, though».

«Just like us».

Sam hugged me.

«Claire, will you ask them about... him?»

I took a deep breath and stood still. «Guess I’ll have to».

«Do you still care about him?», he was trying to keep his cool. But he failed.

I was stuck. «Do you think I’d be here, if I did?»

I wanted him to be reassured, but I knew the task was hard. We had run away from Alex, but he was still my former husband. We were hiding and using fake names. We were always careful.

«I don’t care how he is doing nor if he sleeps with half the girls in London. I have you and we both have our kids».

«Suppose he finds you someday».

I could see he was really preoccupied.

«I’d tell him I want a divorce». It was not the answer he was expecting, I could tell that. He jumped and clearly focused on the thought of a divorce. It was something really hard to face.

«I won’t let him have you, Claire».

«I won’t let him have me, Sam. I feel like I could die, if I were to spend some time trapped in his house».

«It won’t happen. I’ll take care of everything».

It was a hot night, but Sam’s heart was as cold as ice.

«Didn’t you promise me something?», I asked and looked at him. I wanted him to focus on something else and I knew just the thing...

«I did. I would, actually. But we have guests», he replied.

«Don’t you dare find an excuse!»

He laughed.

«We’ll talk about that later», I said as he kissed me. We were lost in our kiss, when we heard someone coughing.

«So... only two kids? I’m surprised...», laughed Renny.

«They won’t be two for long».

«I had sort of a feeling, yeah. Oh, anyway, we love the rooms. Thank you».

I was happy to see that Sam and Renny got on very well.

«So... where are my nephews?», he said lowering and catching Edward’s attention.

«I’m uncle Renny, and this is uncle Robert».

Eddy looked at Sam.

«Yes, Eddy. Renny and Robert».

Eddy caressed Renny’s face.

«Enny!», he cried as he laughed. Sam was very proud of his son.

«Very good, Eddy. And this is...»

«Obe!»

We all laughed. We didn’t want him to be shy with his uncles. He started chattering, something as «gggh», «cooo».

Edward loved having all the attention for himself. When we went inside to have dinner, Edward was with Robert, who seemed to be particularly keen on him. He played with Renny a good deal and never stopped throughout the whole night.

The days flew by. Renny and Robert would stay for a month and we had many things to show them.

The farm kept us all very busy and the island was the perfect place to enjoy nature and peace. We took them to the beach, to the village, to the lake and in the woods.

We had them meet Moon’s friends.

Their culture was very different from ours. Women were incredibly important in their society. They were the keepers of life. Men were supposed to protect women and support them; it was not shameful, to have children with several men. Women could choose the man they liked and marry him. They stayed together until they didn’t get on anymore. It was a different kind of marriage. I was getting used to that and thought that it was much wiser than ours.

I was aware of the fact that I had a deep link with Alex. I had a son, his son. I was reminded of that almost everyday. I thought of Alex less and less but still, I thought of him from time to time. We had been married for a short time but meeting Renny and Robert again had reminded me of my old life. I was a different Claire now, but I lived in a world of lies: a fake name, two husbands... I was happy, though. I had designed the life I loved. We just needed to be careful.

I wanted to ask Renny a few questions, actually. I got the chance to ask them to Robert, in the end. Renny and Sam were out, so I was home with Robert. Rhona was dealing with the kitchen and I was taking care of the kids. I would need to check on the mill in the afternoon and then I would meet Moon.

It was breakfast time, so I was still planning my day.

When I saw Robert approaching, I was stuck.

«Good morning, Claire!»

«Good morning, Robert!»

He was holding some drawings.

«I want to show you something, Claire».

He was a very talented architect. I was sure he would show me something interesting.

«You know, I like this place a lot. But I have some ideas that might improve it... it’s for the kids, you know. See... what about this?»

He showed me a few ideas.

«I just love them! I love them», I smiled.

Then I took a deep breath and asked him: «May I ask you something?»

He shook his head.

«What happened, when I left?»

He turned pale. He seemed to think about it carefully.

«Why are you asking me?»

«I trust you and I know you won’t hide anything from me».

He took a deep breath and seemed to think about it.

«He went crazy for six months. He used to go to visit your father twice or three times a day. They had several fights, because he kept telling Renny and your father that they were hiding the truth from him. Now they don’t see each other anymore, but I know he is still looking for you and keeping an eye on both Renny and your father. Just don’t worry, Claire. We have been very careful. He is not a fool, though. He has friends and he will find out, even here. Just make sure you’ll be ready when this happens».

I was pale.

«I talked about this with Renny and he doesn’t like Alexander, not a bit. But he loves Sam. Now you have your own family and you must protect it...»

My heart was beating fast. I was scared. Eddy came to me and I jumped as I heard him throwing a toy on the floor.

«Here, Claire. Drink some water. Are you okay?»

«Hasn’t he got a new girlfriend?», I whispered.

«You mean someone who lasts more than a week? No. Furthermore, he wants you. You, Claire».

I had always known that, but I had kind of hoped time had changed things.

What shall I do? Shall I talk to Sam? I should, yes.

I waited for us to be on our own after dinner. He was in bed and I was tiding up the room. The kids were sleepng. Sam was looking at me and I took a deep breath. He knew something was wrong. I sat on the bed.

«I spoke with Robert today. I asked him...»

I was very tense.

«I am terrified, Sam. I had hoped he would get over this, but he didn’t».

I started crying. Sam seemed calm and loving. He hugged me.

«I will take care of that, Claire. Just don’t worry. I will, I promise».

Why was he so calm?

«How can you be like this? So calm...»

«I already knew. I had asked Renny and Robert».

I was stuck.

«But...»

«We talked about that. And I have to say I don’t like this...»

«This?»

«I’m still jealous, Claire».

«I hope you’re joking...»

«I am not. But now first we need to take care of the kids. And of you».

I hugged him.

«I love you, Sam».

«What if he came here? Would you came back to him?»

«Never».

«Suppose he wants to take Edward with him».

«You won’t allow that».

He kissed my neck.

«Sam, I have something for you... a surprise!»

He looked at me.

«I’ve had this for a week».

«Claire...», he laughed. Then he suddenly understand.

I was pregnant.

We kissed and hugged until Marcus woke up. When we fell asleep, we hugged.

On the morning after, we announced everyone the news and they all seemed very pleased with that.

I was happy and loved.

When Renny and Robert went for a walk, Sam and I were left on our own.

«I love you more and more», he said.

When we heard of the accident, we were shocked. It was Rhona who told us. She came to me and I could see she was upset.

«Madame, Sharlott Muir, the youngest daughter of Ian Muir! She was supposed to marry Donald Scott, a young and talented architect. They were supposed to go to Europe...»