Rocked Under (14 page)

I disappeared out of both their sights as soon as I could. I went to the ladies and locked myself in a stall again because of Scott.

I hated seeing Scott like that. I was torn — conflicted. Frustration burned within me that I couldn't be with Ad without feeling bad about Scott's feelings. But why did I feel like that anyway? Scott and I, well, I didn't know what we were but I did what we were not. He had said all that to me weeks ago but he never stopped bringing girls back and he never hid it neott from me.
 

Why should I care? I had had enough crap for twenty-four hours. I just wanted to feel free for a while. I was conscious that I was becoming increasingly aware of trying to please Scott when I should be concentrating on Ad. 

I sighed as I emerged from the stall and walked out. I went straight to the bar and ordered two drinks for myself which I downed straight away.

My brain was fried and I didn't want to think anymore tonight. I knew that drinking wasn't the best thing I could do but I didn't care. I had spent most of my life hiding behind a ridiculous façade but that was in the past. This was the new me.
Screw it!
The remainder of our time at Macy's was spent drinking and jumping around the dance floor while trying to hide from Scott's view.

Soundz was as crowded as I knew it would be on a Saturday night. We hung around the bar until a table became free and then we pounced on it. I had been clamped to Ad's side for most of the night so far and I intended to keep it that way. I avoided Scott's dark gaze when I could.

A while later I was dancing with Ash and Meg when I spotted Scott in a corner making out heavily with a girl with a tiny skirt on and knee-high boots. I felt my face crease as I watched his hands roam over her, down past her ass to her thigh. From there, his hand slid up her skirt and stroked her right there in front of everyone.
 

I ground my jaw and my blood boiled, the booze I had consumed fuelling the anger. I hated him at that moment. I hadn't admitted anything to Scott but he kind of had to me. I wanted to get back at him so much. 

I seized Ad as he came up to me and planted my mouth straight onto his. Ad pulled away in surprise. I smiled up at him and grabbed his hands to put them on my butt. He squeezed and angry desire started to heat my skin. I turned my back to him and reached my hands up to gather my hair to drape over one shoulder as I moved my butt into his hips.
 

The
thump thump
of music was deep and I ground myself against him with the rhythm. Ad put his hands on my belly and slipped them under my top to move them up to just beneath my breasts. I leaned my head back and put my hands over his as we moved. His head came down to my exposed neck, he kissed up my neck. I raised my arms and looped them around him to keep him there.
 

I opened my eyes then and saw Scott watching me. A jolt went through me at the violence blazing in his eyes. His eyes travelled down me and then back up to my face. I bit my lip, sharp desire penetrated my fuzzy head. I closed my eyes, shutting him out. I turned in Ad's arms then and drove my hands through his hair and pulled him fully into me to sate what was happening to my body.
 

Ad rubbed his hips against mine and deepened our kiss.  

"Come with me," Ad spoke near my ear and led me away from the dance-floor. 

Feeling slightly dazed, I almost tripped on the way. Ad led me past the restrooms down to the end of the corridor and leaned against the wall with me in his arms.

"This is better," he said before he came to me again and I put my all into it. I kissed him deeply, desperately even, but it wasn't Ad's eyes looking at me, stoking the fire in me when I closed my eyes.
 

I seethed, I didn't want to see Scott. I. Wanted. Ad. Scott was out there with someone else and he would never change. A leopard doesn't change its spots and Scott would never be with one woman. I was furious at myself for wanting him so much. I was weak, my body was weak but I knew my mind would never give in to it.

Ad put his hands underneath my butt and pressed me into him. His erection rubbed against me.

"Ad, I want…" 

"I know, babe, me too," he rasped. He turned us around so my back was against the wall.

I ran my fingers through his hair as he kissed my neck. He brought his mouth back to mine.

"Get away from her," came an angry voice.

I opened my dazed eyes and looked straight into Scott's furious ones.

"What the fuck, man?" Ad slurred as he turned.

Scott crossed his arms and stood tall, not sparing me a glance. "You're wasted, Ad, go and cool down." 

"I don't need to cool down." Ad crossed his arms too and they eyeballed each other.

Ad sounded very drunk now that the haze had cleared a bit and he was swaying to the side.

Scott stepped closer to Ad, menace in his stare. "You better. You're not laying another fuckin' hand on her tonight, Adam."
 

What the hell did he think he was doing? I saw him with a girl not ten minutes ago and now he was behaving like a jealous boyfriend?

Before Ad could say anything I spoke, "Scott, what're you doing?"

He didn't take his eyes from Adam. "Stay out of this, Emma."

"You're not her family and you sure as shit ain't her man, so–"

Scott fisted Ad's shirt and pulled him in to his chest.

"Scott, stop!" I shouted before he floored Ad.

"Go, now." He growled through clenched teeth.

Ad's brows rose and then darkened again angrily. Scott let him go and Ad stalked away without even looking at me.

Great!

Scott was looking at me like he hated me. Well, I didn't care. It was okay for him and not for me? 

"What're you doing?"re ott was l I asked.

"Stopping you from doing something you’ll regret," he growled.

“I wouldn't have regretted it," I said, wanting to taunt him.

He came forward so fast that I shrank back. He grabbed my wrist, "You wanna be fucked up against a wall in a nightclub your first time?" he snarled.

I felt ashamed then and tears sprang to my eyes. I pushed them back and stood my ground, "Let me go," I tried to yank my arm free but he wouldn't budge, he was right in my face, eyes blazing at me, breathing heavily.

I laughed cruelly. "You're just mad because you can't have me," my drunken tongue was working without my brains influence.

"Don't flatter yourself," he bit out harshly squeezing my wrist harder.

I gritted my teeth, "Really? You can't stand to see me with Ad! It eats away at you that I prefer Ad to you and the fact that–" I looked him up and down with a sneer, "–you're not good enough for me."

He dropped my hand instantly like I had burned him and he took a step back.
 

I felt pain tear through me as his face became like granite.
Shit!
I went towards him, "Scott, I didn't mean–"

"Yes, babe, you did," he cut me off and cupped my face. "All that's true but it doesn't stop you from wanting to fuck me," his eyes drifted down to my lips and back up to my eyes as he came closer. He stopped when his lips were millimetres from mine.
 

I closed my eyes and revelled in his closeness, his smell.

"Does it?" he whispered. He rubbed his lips ever so lightly from side to side against mine in a barely-there caress.

I knocked him back as hard as I could but my body wasn't working properly. "Fuck you, Scott. Go back to your tart because she can give you what you
really
want."

"And what's that?"

"A hard, cold fuck with no ties."
 

I heard his quick inhale. Then he turned his head and planted a soft kiss on my cheek before leaving me completely and walking away from me.

Chapter Fifteen

I woke up the next morning feeling groggy and sick. And then, I remembered last night and groaned into my pillow. Adam had totally left the club without telling me and it was all Scott's fault. After Scott had walked away, I went to find the others and got plastered. I didn't see Scott again and Meg said he'd grabbed himself a skank and had taken her back to his place. Oh yes, I got very drunk indeed.

I turned on my side and picked my phone up off the bedside cabinet. There was a message.

Adam: Hey beautiful, Im sorry. Call me when u read this. X

I rolled my eyes and turned onto my back. I would call Ad later. He showed a different side to him last night but then, he was very drunk too. My thoughts went back with a sober mind. I knew why Scott had walked away from me. I said something that I didn't mean and he had got me back for it. He had proven his point. I needed to make it better. Put it right. I felt awful for what I said.
Not good enough for me?
Why had I said that? I didn't think that at all. He just wasn't what I needed in a man, he would be so bad for me.

I remembered the look on his face when I said it. The hurt in his eyes as though he believed it. He had done me a favour by stopping Ad and me when he had. I had way too much to drink and I probably would've let Ad take me against the bloody wall like one of Scott's groupies. I debated calling him to apologise but he had hurt me too. I needed some time to think without seeing or talking to him. I needed a breather from the roller-coaster ride that we, well,
I
was on. He wanted one night, but one night would never be enough for me, not to mention that our friendship would be ruined. How could it not be ruined?

The next week slipped by with Scott and I not really talking. Okay, we said hello to each other and acknowledged each other but we didn't
talk
talk. I stayed away from Macy's and spent a lot of time with Ad after he apologised a hundred times first. When I saw Scott, I cringed inwardly and his stare was knowing. I wanted him. There was no denying it or making excuses for myself.
 

I walked into the cafeteria late at lunch on Friday. As soon as Ad spotted me walking towards them, they all went quiet. I stopped before sitting down and stared at them wondering what they had been talking about. I knew they were yapping about me that's for sure, Ash and Meg were smiling at me innocently but Ash had a slight flush on her cheeks which was a giveaway that she was hiding something from me. Newton was studying his phone rather intently and Ad was talking.

"Hey, babe, you okay?" he grinned as he pulled me onto his lap. 

I stole a glance at Scott. He was staring straight at me for the first time for a week. My heart started hammering as he held my gaze. Something was up, he hadn't looked at me like that all week, he had mostly ignored me.
 

He was angry about something, angry but there was something else there too — something less noticeable lurking behind the anger. 

His jaw tensed just before he stood and stalked away.

I watched him go and wondered what I had done wrong or maybe if something had upset him. The urge to go after him was so strong but I kept still.

"What's up with him?" I asked anyone.

"Who knows, who cares? Probably a girl or something," Ad nuzzled my neck and rubbed my thigh.

I knew that Ad and Scott didn't like each other but I didn't want to listen to Ad talk about him that way. hi

"You're going after
him
?"

"I won't be long." Ad was about to argue but I quickly walked out of the cafeteria and rounded the corner. Scott was gone. I looked out the window and spotted him. I ran out the door and after him. He was headed round the back of the building. Probably for some alone time.

"Scott!" I jogged after him, "Wait!"

He turned to look at me, "Go back inside," he growled as I reached him.

I reeled back slightly, not used to him talking to me like that, "I–I wanted to see if you're okay," I said, looking away feeling like a total idiot for caring.

"I'm just fuckin' great," he replied while he crossed his arms then sighed and shook his head. "Just go back inside, Emma,” he turned and walked away from me.

I frowned, I didn't want him to be like this with me, it hurt. The last week had been hard and I just wanted to take back what I had said.

I jogged after him again and grabbed his arm. "I'm sorry." I took a breath as he turned with a frown, "I'm sorry for what I said at Soundz. I didn't mean any of it, I was drunk and my mouth ran away with me. I know it probably doesn't matter to you that I'm sorry but I wanted to say it anyway. I'm not usually like that, I guess I was just angry and you were right anyway." I took another deep breath, "So, I'm sorry for what I said. Just, please don't be upset with me anymore."

He didn't said anything, he was still mad but a hunted look came into his eyes.

I frowned, "What's wrong?" 

He stepped forward and gently took my face in his hands. "Do you love him, Emma?” He whispered, his voice soft while he searched my face.

My heart was hammering. How did he do that? Be harsh and gentle at the same time? My body rejoiced in his hands touching me, my face warmed and flushed.