Rock'n Tapestries (14 page)

What
a lovely experience. The boat was beautiful. Dinner was rosemary chicken served
with Quinta do Minho vinho verde wine.  Tage filled my goblet then held his own
up over the table.

“To
new beginnings with the beautiful woman seated across from me.”  I clinked his
glass, blushing like mad.

When
we finished eating, Tage took me by the hand and we went up onto the upper deck
of the boat.  The sun was just a sliver of orange across the river,
highlighting the silver ripples of the water as we chugged along with the
lights of Pittsburgh passing us by on both sides.

I
leaned against the railing and inhaled deeply as a slight wind ruffled my
hair.  Tage stood beside me, his hand light against the small of my back.  The
breeze carried his scent to me.  He was throwing off the most intriguing male
vibe.  I stood close to him and tried to absorb it. It was a comforting ”she’s
with me, and I’ll never let anything happen to her” confidence.  Not overtly
sexual, yet very definitely primal.

“The
lights are beautiful, aren’t they?” I smiled up at him.

He
nodded and turned his chiseled, Viking face into the breeze.  “They are, but
not nearly as beautiful as you are tonight.”

“Stop!”
I bumped him and laughed. “You’re embarrassing me.”

He
took my hand again and gave it another kiss as he gazed at me, his eyes
smoldering with promise.  “What is it that you want from life?”

Oh,
that was a stumper.  I really didn’t know. 

“I
have no idea.  You’d think I’d have myself headed in a direction by now, but...
I know being a waitress at Tapestries isn’t a forever job. I just can’t picture
myself doing anything else. Guess I don’t really have a plan.” I looked up at
him.  “How about you?”

“I
want to own my own bar and restaurant someday.” He turned his head to look at
me.  “I want to share my life with the woman I love.  I want to have children
to spoil.”

I
wanted those things too.  I’d wasted so much time on Asher...

I
could tell this conversation was heading down the road to something more
serious, and I was okay with it. “Let’s go back down to the dining room so we
can talk,” I said in his ear. The wind had picked up outside, and I could
barely hear him. 

He
nodded and turned me toward the stairs.

It
turned out that Tage Sorenson was the grandson of a western Pennsylvania steel
magnate. When the steel industry collapsed, the family poured their money into
a small brewery in Butler, Pennsylvania, turning the business around and making
most of them millionaires.  Tage seemed embarrassed when he mentioned that he
had a large trust fund he could tap into if needed.

“I
think that would be awesome,” I said.  “I had to save every dime to pay off my
car just to get an apartment. It must be nice not to have financial worries.”

“Yes,
you would think that, but I want to do something for myself.  I want to build a
business with my bare hands the way my grandfather did.  I could’ve worked at
the brewery, but I know I wouldn’t have been satisfied there. It wasn’t
mine
,
and I don’t want to ride my family’s coattails. That’s why I sent my resume to
Tapestries. I intend to start small and finish large.”  He sighed.  “Does that
sound strange?”

“Not
at all.” I dropped my chin into my hand and smiled at him. “I think that’s a
wonderful attitude to have.”

He
grasped my hand across the table, catching my gaze for a few seconds before he
dropped it again.  “Chelsea...”

“Yes?”

“I
have never met anyone who makes me shiver inside the way you do.  I swear to
God, I feel you here.” He placed a fist over his heart. “Will you...can we...?”
He laughed nervously. “Can we make this relationship exclusive?”

I
thought I understood what he was trying to say, but I leaned forward and asked,
“I don’t quite get what you’re asking.”

He
shook his head. “I don’t want to date anyone else. I want you and me...I want
us to go to the next level.  I hope you feel the same way I do.” His eyes
glistened in the candlelight, those blue orbs so full of hope that I got all
choked up.  Men have such a hard time putting their feelings into words, and he
was doing the best he could.

I
inhaled and looked away.  He held my right hand in both of his, separating my
fingers, gently squeezing. I could see he was nervous, afraid I’d say no.

“There
isn’t anyone else, is there? If there is, I’ll understand. I just thought we—“

“There
isn’t anyone else.  You know that.” I’d told him about Asher one night while we
were cleaning up at closing time, only I’d left out the part about us sleeping
together.  He knew exactly how I’d once felt about the guitarist for the Dirty
Turtles.

He
lifted his gaze up to mine. I wanted to dive into those blue eyes.  It was
right.
He
was right. My heart pounded with an emotion I couldn’t name,
but I knew one thing for sure: the past was gone.  I was moving on tonight.

“I’d
be very proud to call you my boyfriend, Tage.  Exclusive it is.”

He
blew out a breath, one I knew he’d been holding, and came around to my side of
the table.  Before I could blink, I had a beautiful sterling silver necklace
draped around my neck.  Two silver charms dangled just above my cleavage:  one
a cursive C for Chelsea, the other a squared-off T for Tage.

He
pulled me to my feet and kissed me softly on the lips. “I am the happiest man
in Pittsburgh tonight.”

The
next two months were pure bliss. Tage was just what I needed, a balm for my
wounded soul. I couldn’t get over what a gentleman he was.  I saw the inside of
the finest restaurants in western Pennsylvania. He opened doors for me, left me
the sweetest love notes, and bought me flowers every day.  I was stupefied. So this
was what a
real
adult relationship felt like. 

For
the first time in a long time, I felt loved.

Tage
was such a gentleman that he was reluctant to sleep with me. He didn’t want me
to feel pressured in any way. I’m telling you, when they made this man, they
threw away the mold. He was also afraid of getting me pregnant. It was
frustrating. I loved him so much and wanted to be intimate with him, but I
understood and even appreciated that he valued me that way.   I asked him if
he’d feel better if I were on the pill. He said yes with a relieved look on his
face.

 I
immediately made an appointment with my gynecologist to get birth control
pills. Now that I was older, it just seemed like a safer alternative to condoms
and pulling out.

The
nurses drew blood.  Dr. Sherwin gave me a routine pelvic exam then left the
room.   I sat on the tissue paper in my little blue gown for what seemed like
hours, shivering in the small cold room, before she came back.

She
walked in with my chart and threw it on the table in the corner. Then she
shoved both hands into her doctors’ coat and gave me a strange, slanted look.

“Chelsea,
is there any chance you could be pregnant?”

I
held my breath.  My mouth hung open as I stared at her.  “Why?”

She
sighed and threw open my chart with two fingers.  “Because you are. About three
months’ worth of pregnant, given your hCG levels.”

Jesus
Fucking Christ on toast!

I
shook my head; the blood roared in my ears.  “No. No. I can’t be. I
can’t
be.”

Dr.
Sherwin smiled sympathetically. “I’m sure the test isn’t wrong.”

Please,
not now. Not now, when I’m so in love with Tage and we could have a life
together.  Don’t do this to me.

I
shook my head again and stared up at her, horrified.  “You don’t understand. 
The guy I’m seeing is not the… baby’s father. I haven’t slept with Tage yet.
That’s why I’m here today.  To get birth control pills.”

She
frowned, sat down on the stool beside me, and took my hand. “Do you want me to
look into some counseling?  You have options...”

As
terrible as this situation was, what she was suggesting was even more
horrifying.  Don’t get me wrong—I’m strongly pro-choice. It’s none of my
business what another woman does with her body, but I had a baby growing inside
me
. An abortion was out of the question.

Tears
filled my eyes. “No. I can’t do that.”

She
nodded and pressed her lips together.  “Okay. Will the baby’s father stand by
you?”

 “No. 
He told me he didn’t want to see me anymore.  God, it was only once, and he
pulled out.  He pulled out, Dr. Sherwin.  Doesn’t that mean...?” I searched her
face for some sign that she might be wrong about this, but I knew better.

“I
know a guy thinks he has a handle on it, but sometimes they don’t get out in
time, and some seminal fluid is deposited against the cervix. All it takes is
one sperm,” she said gently as she patted my hand.  “Didn’t you think something
was up when you missed a period?”

Yes,
I should’ve known there was an issue when I missed the
second
period,
but I chalked it all up to stress.  That thing with Scott had been horrific
then I had to deal with the whole debacle of Asher. I had been one giant
exposed nerve for several months.

“But
I don’t feel any different!  I haven’t been sick, no sore boobs, nothing!” 

“Every
woman is different, Chelsea. Every pregnancy is different.  You should be glad
you’re not sick.”

Everything
that had seemed good and happy and right in my life was now on hold. Tage and I
could go no further in our relationship now.  What man in his right mind would
date someone who was pregnant with another man’s baby?

I
dropped my face into my hands and fought tears.  I had fucked everything—
everything
—up
royally.  I’d made an impetuous choice over three months before, and now I was
going to lose someone who meant the world to me. 

Dr.
Sherwin patted my knee and got to her feet. “You have a lot of things to think
about.  I’m going to go ahead and get you on the schedule for prenatal care
appointments. If you need anything, Chelsea—even if it’s only to talk—please
don’t hesitate to call me.”