ROMAN (Lane Brothers Book 5) (57 page)

This day has been one of the best and worst of my life. Best because not only do I have this morning’s episode to keep me alert and on tenterhooks—God, just the memory gets me worked up—but Ben’s been a dream, the private all boys academy Lucian has gotten him into is absolutely fantastic, and the teachers are wonderful.

Now I just have to focus on doing everything the shrink talked to us about.

I say worst too because, while I’m all better after a dose of some vile concoction Lucian forced down my throat, I feel…out of place.

I’m not one of those woman who thinks that a poor girl can’t be with a rich guy, like she’s worth less or some shit, but I can say I am totally out of my element.

I have no job, and for a girl like me, who’s used to being run ragged, it’s hard to sit around all day without going crazy. Plus I’m scared blind that I’ll break something in this mausoleum, and from the looks of things it could cost more than all of my organs would bring on the black market.

“Love, what are you doing exactly?”

I squeak and almost bite my tongue off when that husky drawl reaches me. Trying, in vain, I hit the off button on the tablet he’s given me and stash the thing behind my back—classic guilty move—hoping like hell he didn’t see or hear what I’ve been watching.

Oh great, he’s home earlier than expected, and I still haven’t psyched myself up for whatever he has in store for me.

Don’t get me wrong: after this morning’s sample, I am so on board with sex with Lucian, but I have no idea what to do, and being me, I will definitely do something super embarrassing.

I need some time to think about things, and maybe, you know, Google some stuff. That’s what I’ve been doing while sitting on the stairs avoiding any breakage opportunities: trying to find the courage to surf the net for porn.

I’d decided to do that not less than ten minutes ago, and wouldn’t you know it, the man would catch me watching Z grade porn. Shit.

“Uh…research?”

That sexy grin of his splits his face, and I see the sparkle in his eye as he leans down, lips puckered as if offering me a kiss. Sap that I am, I lean in and close my eyes, wanting his lips on mine in a repeat of this morning’s claiming.

I should know by now, really I should.

He snatches the tablet from behind my back and hits the on button, gaping at me when the sounds of sex and slapping skin echo through the silence.

I don’t quite know what to do with myself as his eyes stretch before winging back to me with such a flabbergasted stare I blush harder and bite my lip guiltily.

“You’re watching porn?”

Hell.

“Uh…I can explain.”

The smarmy smirk is back as he shuts down the bloodcurdling screams coming from the tablet and looks at me, sucking on his lip—in an attempt not to laugh, I’m sure.

“Really? Please do.”

“I-I was…” Crap. “I was trying to figure out how sex works,” I hiss, rising shakily only to stand and fidget beneath his amused stare.

Bastard. Why couldn’t he just have left it alone?

“You don’t need to know a thing besides what I’m going to teach you,” he finally says, eyeing me up and down.

The heat in his eyes makes me blush again, this time with lust, as he focuses his gaze between my legs and sucks at his lip before meeting my eyes.

“You don’t need to look at this shite. All you have to do is ask, and I’ll tell you,” he drawls, coming so close his breath caresses my wet lips. “So ask.”

What!

“Uh, that’s okay. I’ll, uh…”

“No. You’re obviously nervous about this,” he insists, bringing my mortified face back to his. “Ask.”

“I can’t! For goodness’ sake, it’s not something you just…just talk about,” I splutter. “I really don’t know you well enough for that.”

Supercilious, since I’ve made up my mind to sleep with the guy and see where this takes us.

My words make him laugh, a great, booming sound that rattles my bones and holds me captive. I’ve heard that sound once before, so long ago I’d convinced myself it doesn’t really exist. But it does I see now, and I want that sound again almost more than my next breath.

“You’re missish, love, truly. I hadn’t thought to find the only prudish female populating this side of the bloody pond,” he chuckles, bussing my lips through his humor.

I am so not missish—is that even a word? —I’m just not a sex maniac like most girls I know. I prefer for things to be…oh, who am I kidding? I’m a damn virgin with not a damn clue as to what to do with a man like Lucian.

Where I’m soft, this man is hard as granite, and a ruthless dictator to boot. He’s world-wise and used to getting everything his heart desires, the reason that I’d convinced myself that surfing the porn-filled net was my only option, lest I disappoint him in some way.

I don’t know why, but for some ungodly reason the thought of being green and useless in the sack, of being less than what he expects, ties me up in knots.

Stupid, but who am I to know why my brain thinks this way? All I know is that soon, tonight, if that look in his eye is anything to go by, I’m going to be under him.

I know I won’t wake up pure tomorrow morning, and while that thrills me, I’m also terrified.

“Stop laughing at me, numbskull. I hate being laughed at,” I grit out between my teeth.

He chuckles again and takes my hand, leading me to the kitchen, where Maria has left a light lunch—late, since I told her I’m busy.

“Come eat, love. We’ll discuss this tonight after the lad’s in bed. Better yet, I think I’ll show you.”

I’m a ball of freaking nerves by the time dinner is done and I’ve had a shower. As I stand at the bathroom vanity, smoothing some million dollar cream into my face—seriously, the shit comes in a bottle that looks like it cost a fortune—cream that Lucian insists I use all over my body, I wonder what will happen if I beg off and stew on the whole sex thing just one more night.

I mean, surely he can’t expect me to just fall into bed with him after only two days of re-acquaintance?

“Ashley, get your little behind out here, love! You’re only scaring yourself needlessly,” I hear through the closed and bolted door.

Uh oh, looks like he really does expect me to just get back up and ride. I giggle at my own wording and take a deep breath, looking down at the pale pink silk nightie.

The thing is tiny, reaching just below my ass cheeks, and is so sheer I can’t call it a covering—more of a tease than anything else. My nipples and pubic hair are totally on show in the thing, and if I look back I bet my ass crack is showing too.

When I’ve dawdled about as long as I can, I unlock the door and peek out, keeping my body behind the door as fresh embarrassment flames through me.

“This thing is goddamned indecent,” I squeak, keeping my eyes squarely on his face and not the tented sheet that covers his reclining form.

“Come out of there and let me see.”

“No.”

“Ashley.”

The tone has me inching out from behind my haven, and I walk forward like a death row inmate doing the green mile, all reluctance and ignorant terror.

So what. Geez, none of you have seen what Lucian has packing under that sheet, and just from the size of that thing I’m doubting I’ll be alive tomorrow.

“Stop glaring at me! You’re making me more nervous!”

“Then stop slinking around like I’m going to kill you.”

“Aren’t you? Jesus, that thing is huge!”

His laughter makes my insides tremor, and I find myself giggling along, relaxing under the playful wink he throws my way. Seriously, the guy is all hard—pun intended—but somewhere inside there the boy I’d loved still lurks around. I just know it.

My amusement dies when he loses the sheet and rises, prowling my way like a big, predatory cat. Everything about him is perfection, from the rippling muscles under his skin down to the tattoos painted along the left side of his body from hip to somewhere over his shoulder.

I can’t make it out with the way he’s moving, but from where I’m standing that thing must have been inked in by a very talented artist.

“Come here, love. Give us a kiss,” he growls, pulling me in with a hand at my nape and one at my hip.

The position is hard to maintain with the way I have to lean up on the very tips of my toes, even though he’s bent over at the waist, but maintain it I do, just for the pleasure of feeling his soft lips ghost over mine, followed by his tongue.

He licks at me lazily, taking his time to fully savor my mouth before pinching my jaw open between his thumb and forefinger to gain deeper access.

This is no branding or lazy tasting now. What I feel when he shoves deep is a simulation of what he wants to do when our bodies join. He goes in deep and hard, slow and soft, taking every inch before drawing back to press a smooching kiss to my lips.

By this time I’m almost drunk with lust and pulsing between my legs, wet and aching and rubbing my thighs together for a little relief. How one kiss can have that much power is frightening, but he gives me no time to pull back, just sweeps me up and gently lowers me to the bed.

“I’ve waited so long for this, love.”

Not really, I think, with a derisive snort that makes him quirk his brow. We’ve been together two days.

“I’m going to undress you now. Shh, relax, love, just let me see you,” he murmurs, gliding his hands beneath the silk and pushing it up so slowly I’m panting by the time he’s done.

No woman is capable of total unselfconsciousness, not when it’s the first time revealing herself to a man, but I manage to lock my quivering muscles and lie still, letting him undress me before he sits back on his haunches to look down at me.

His face goes hard and intense when he spreads me, kneeling between my legs and looking down at my most intimate place. I squirm beneath his regard, turned on beyond measure when he smiles slowly and flicks a glance up at me from beneath his lashes.

“Do not move, no matter what I do. Understand? I need to get you ready, love.”

I nod, expecting more kisses and maybe some nipple action. He smiles again and directs me to close my eyes, waiting till I obey before making his move.

What he does shocks and thrills me at once, and I bow up, pushing closer when his heated mouth settles directly over my sex and starts licking and sucking.

He works me over till I’m writhing and pulling at his hair, so lost and desperate that I’m begging, pleading with him to do something, anything to help me.

And still he keeps going, not stopping till I’ve peaked twice more before lunging up my body and kissing me fiercely.

I’m so lost I hardly notice when he lines his steely length with my opening and starts pressing in. The pleasure of it is utterly entrancing and sweet, till he meets the barrier signaling my innocence high inside.

I tense with the twinge of pain, locking up and scooting back to escape the pressure.

“Shh, love, relax. It’ll be over soon,” he whispers, stealing my mouth with a deep, drugging kiss.

When I relax and melt into the moment he makes his move, thrusting hard and filling me in one stroke. I cry out, but he doesn’t stop, withdrawing and thrusting back in till I feel the pain recede beneath a rip tide of renewed pleasure.

Soon I’m pushing back, seeking that ultimate pleasure as much as he is, using my instinct to move with him.

“Oh, love, that feels…”

He swivels his hips, hitting me right where I need him to and sending me crashing into climax, my body going wild beneath his. With a grunt and three more desperate thrusts he joins me, filling me with heat and a sense of euphoria unlike any I’ve ever known.

“Oh God, oh God, oh God!”

“That’s it, love, come for me!” he yells, pumping into me to prolong my flight.

It’s only as I’m coming down from that incredible high, sprawled boneless over his heaving chest, that I feel the fear I’ve been keeping at bay since he’d kissed me so possessively this morning.

I couldn’t say why that kiss had dogged me all day, not being as innocent and naïve as I was, but I know the reason now, and it scares the bejesus outta me.

It’s quite possible that I could fall for him again. In fact, I don’t doubt that it’s more than likely.

I just don’t know how to stop it.

“Why so quiet, love?”

It’s early morning, around maybe three, I’d guess, and I’m spent and befuddled from hours of nonstop loving. Lucian is…a sexual fiend, is the only apt description.

After our initial round of bliss he’d lowered me into a steaming bath filled with salts and washed me tenderly, paying particular care to my sore thighs and between.

He’d soothed my ragged nerves and cared for me so gently I’d been hard pressed not to blurt out my emotional turmoil or run screaming for dear life.

Love, the whole concept of needing another person…that badly scares me. I know what it is to love and lose. I’ve felt it too many times not to. Too many times to ‘go gently into that dark night’.

Now, as we lie wrapped around each other, just enjoying the cool breeze coming through the open windows, I feel vulnerable and a little pissed that he can get to me so easily.

I want to be detached and aloof. No, apart from whatever it is he’s trying to do, but dammit, my stupid feelings have always been so easily roused. I’m scared, annoyed, and uncertain.

If Mom were alive she would tell me to be honest and ‘use my words’, thanks to her obsession with Dr Phil, so instead of feigning sleep or diverting his nosiness I push myself up and meet his eyes, staring the dragon head on.

“Don’t take this the wrong way, Lucian Jasper, but if you make me fall in love with you and break my heart, I think I might risk prison just for the pleasure of murdering your hot ass.”

There, tough and honest all at once.

Dr Phil would probably tell me to use my words more constructively or some such shit, but I’m no wall flower, and I refuse to beat around the bush.

I grew up in Chicago public school; I can’t hold my tongue for shit, so the good doctors of head scoping can kiss it!

I feel him jerk beneath me before a huge grin splits his face. Arrogant ass.

“Are you saying you love me, my sweet?” he purrs in that sexy accent, pulling me further up his chest to get my face into his.

“No,” I mutter, scowling at his smug face. “What I’m saying is that if you keep up with your sweetness and this whole sex machine thing you’ve got going, especially if you keep being so nice to my brother, there’s a good chance I could be dumb enough to fall for you. So don’t do it if you’re intending to hurt me.”

His chest shakes the whole time he’s kissing my smart mouth—his words, not mine—and I finally relent and soften, kissing him back with a sweetness I can’t hold back.

This melding is softer than the wild passion before, his wordless promise to take care with my feelings and mine to tell him that I’m a soft ass sap with less brains than a grapefruit.

Stupid sex. Mom was right; it does turn your mind to oatmeal.

***

Luc

I lay awake till dawn, my lovely little baby sound asleep where she’s sprawled on my chest, leaving a wet pool of drool where her mouth hangs open over my left nipple.

I find I don’t mind, not in the least when she shifts, rubbing her bountiful breasts over my ribs, and wiggles her sex against my hip.

What she’d said has given me hope that my plans for total ownership over her will work beyond my wildest imaginings. If that were all, though, I would even now be sleeping, because yes, after that sex marathon I am beyond exhausted.

The problem is, though, that I’m feeling…I can’t say what this emotion is, but its bloody well got me unsettled and tied up in knots. I want Ashley to love me, have been working my plans in that direction since the day I decided to find her again.

So then why does the thought of what I have planned leave me feeling so filled with dread? I know myself; once I’ve plotted a course and set things into action, I will stay it till the very end.

For the first time since I ruined my father and his bitch wife I feel the need to stop and reassess things, something I haven’t done since—

No, I won’t think of that dreadful day, lest I lose the quiet joy I feel now that I’ve got her securely trapped and in my bed. Doubt still niggles at my mind, though. What if she leaves me when—

“Luc?”

I tense and look down into her sleepy eyes and realize she’s woken from the involuntary tensing of my arms. I’m squeezing the poor girl to death.

“Sorry, love, I didn’t mean to wake you. Go back to sleep.”

She smiles and then reddens when she notices the wet patch on my chest, wiping apologetically at my skin. The graze of her fingers over my nipple perks us both up, and I roll her to her back with a laugh, fitting our bottom halves together with a smirk.

“You still tired?”

I don’t give her a chance to answer but seal our mouths and push deep, feeling her heat wrap around me. The connection calms me immediately, chasing the shadows away and leaving me feeling like I’ve gained a lot more than I’ve bargained for.

“Oh, that feels so good,” she whispers, canting her hips to pull me closer and deeper into her warmth. “How can it feel so good?”

“It’s meant to be.”

I say it for effect, because I know that women eat that bollocks up for breakfast and that it will bring her so much closer to that point of no return.

I just hope the love I have every intention of nurturing in her will be enough to save me if she ever discovers my true intentions.