Authors: Alexa Blair
Chapter 12: Officer Anderson
It turned out that we could get married, Zack and I. I hadn’t been sure whether we could or not. But we really could. As soon as I found out—thirty minutes into my first LGBT meeting in Minneapolis—I knelt on the carpet and proposed to him, right there on the spot. Zack cried. This time, I wasn’t turned on by him. I was in awe of him. He accepted who he was so easily, when I had struggled so much with it. I could have married a woman if I’d wanted. I could have married more than one person if I’d wanted—and if I didn’t mind living in Utah.
I chose him. He was the only one for me. Both my body and my brain told me so. He excited me like no one else could. Just having him in the room was enough for me. He made everything seem better. Just having him there was enough. It was more than enough. He was my everything. I did not hesitate in asking him to marry me. I trusted my instincts, just like I always did whenever I had to evaluate a recruit trying to make it as a SEAL. That same something that made me think he had a lot of potential also made me think he had a bright, positive future, no matter what he chose to do. He was someone that I wanted to spend the rest of my life around.
So, I’ll tell you straight out. I never had sex with a man before I had it with Zack. There were plenty of women up and down the activism trail who wanted to go to bed with me. I never refused any of them. I enjoyed being with them. It just wasn’t anything like being with Zack. He put the rest of them to shame. The way his hands lightly touched my hips, the way his thighs rubbed against my own, his soft, wet mouth—all of that, and so much more, combined to make him irresistible.
It didn’t take us long before we joined in a Minneapolis pride parade. I decided to bring out my old dress uniform from the Navy. I put all my medals on it. I shined up my shoes, and ironed out all the creases from my clothes. I practiced my salute in front of a mirror to make sure that I still remembered how to do it correctly. Zack watched me from behind. He leaned in to kiss my neck. Then he murmured something into my ear. Something about having to wash the towels that we put down on the bed whenever we became especially interested in one another.
I grinned. Feeling that happy was odd. I had never felt that way in the Navy. I had just gone through the motions day after day. I hadn’t even realized how drab my life had been until someone colorful came into it. We were both invited to sit on top of a float. Someone decided to crown us both kings. Zack went to the event wearing a skirt. He had not bothered to shave his face or his legs. I found that I didn’t care. I loved him just as he was.
I found out that we made the news on account of my uniform. There was this whole big discussion about how gay people should be treated in the military. It was all over the papers, and all over every television station. It’s not something I cared to pay much attention to. If a man—or woman—acts decently, he’ll be treated decently. If he acts decent and is treated indecently, he ought to go somewhere else. That’s all there is to it.
I don’t know that I even had fifteen minutes of fame. It seemed shorter than that to me. The picture of me and Zack kissing on top of that float soon disappeared from media circulation. Since he had an apartment and I didn’t, I moved in with him. I kept designing web pages and kept waiting for clients to pay me on time. It hasn’t happened yet. Zack started studying for the bar exam. He intends to be an advocate for disadvantaged LGBT people who get caught up in the system.
We just can’t decide whether we’re going to have a kid or not. I tell him that we can’t afford one. He says that he wants to a raise a child. There are plenty of children who need adopting. That’s certainly true, but if he was to look at how many times I came close to losing everything I owned on account of payments being delayed, he might think twice about it. He just wants a kid so badly that he’s willing to do anything for it. I suppose I can’t blame him for that.
Here’s one more unbelievable thing to tell in this story of unbelievable things. I got the letter just the other day from the Navy’s Judge Advocate General Office from the Washington Naval Yard. It turns out that someone had petitioned the Navy on my behalf to have my case reviewed. The letter informed me that my discharge might be reversed.
I laughed and laughed when I read that. If they’d told me during my court-martial that I could stay in the Navy, I would have said yes. But now that I have a husband I love and a job I’m good at, which pays well? I’m going to turn it down. I’m going to tell them not to bother on my behalf.
I’m happy just as I am. That’s the truth of it.
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