Romance: Love Left Behind - A Mystery Romance: (Romance, Mystery, Mystery Romance, Romantic Suspense) (2 page)

She spun around him, grabbing his hand and pulling him into the action.  The grin on her face was contagious and Ben found his own lips stretching into a smile.

“Now Ben Brindell,” Starla whispered, leaning forward, “I must say that I’m having the most wonderful time with you.”

His fingers wound around hers and he gently tugged her closer so that they were swaying together to the rhythm of the song.  He took a deep breath, her scent perfuming his nose – jasmine, maybe lavender – and replied, “You’ve made me the happiest guy in here, babe.”

The melody in the air switched from a snazzy dance beat to a slow song and the happy couple was swept away, enveloped in each other, happier to be on that dance floor than they would have been anywhere else in the world.

Ben couldn’t believe that he was nearly graduated, nearly out of school, out of the middle of nowhere in New Jersey.  Growing up, he had always liked living in warm North Carolina, but for some reason, felt like he was bigger than New Jersey.  He felt like he deserved more than New Jersey.  Now, he couldn’t believe that his life was going in the exact route he’d wanted it to.  He had the girl, the dream, the college.  It was his time, goddamn it, and he was going to seize every moment.

Underneath the stars, the moons and the streamers, as a gentle melody pushed the lovers together, Ben kissed Starla once again.

Their houses were only about a mile from the school so, once the prom ended and the students filtered lazily into the parking lot, the couple decided to walk home.  They could always come back in the morning to retrieve Ben’s car.

Starla kicked off her heels and held them in her hands, and Ben lifted her onto his back.  He ran, channeling Usain Bolt, picking up speed as he went along.  Wind whipped through his hair, through Starla’s, ruining her perfect coif, but she didn’t care at all.  They laughed so loudly and so freely that it felt as if nothing in the world could ruin their joy.  Nostalgia at its finest, they thought, feeling like children once again.

As they neared their homes, Ben slowed himself.  He kneeled down so that Starla could climb off his back and walk herself the rest of the way.  She bypassed the gravelly street, preferring to step over the well-manicured lawns of their neighbors.  The two high school students had already decided not to drink that night.  They had the opportunity, of course – Danny MacAvoy was having a giant kegger at his house to celebrate their prom night, their upcoming graduation – but it was decided that the night would be better spent watching the stars from the backyard.

“Do you need me to get you anything?” Ben asked as they walked towards the white paint-flecked fence leading into his backyard.  “A blanket or something so you don’t ruin your dress?”

Starla shrugged.  “I’m fine.  I just want to sit.  Plus,” she added nonchalantly, “I’m sure we could always wash the dress.  One good night is worth that cost, I think.”

“I think so too.”

“Good.”

The gate gave a minor creak when they pushed it open, but nothing loud enough to wake Ben’s parents, already asleep inside.  It was early midnight, and the entire neighborhood basked in silence and the freeing emptiness of the night time.

The couple chose a spot midway through the backyard.  Ben laid his coat jacket on the ground and sat on it, feeling the damp moistness of the earth soak through regardless.  Next to him, Starla had planted herself firmly on an extremely bushy area of grass, but the slight grimace on her face gave way to the realization that her behind was just as wet and soggy as Ben’s. 

He reached out, slid his arm around her shoulders, and pulled her in towards him.  She turned her face and their lips met, softly at first, then stronger, hungrier, needier.  He used his tongue to push her mouth open, sinking himself into her depths.  Her tongue responded and together they danced and twirled like their owners had at prom just hours before.  A low moan escaped from Ben; he pushed his mouth harder onto Starla’s, then his body, until he lay on top of her, pressing her into the ground.

She wrapped her legs around him, her plum dress rising, her pale thighs shining white in the moonlight.  Their kiss continued, growing more and more fierce.  Ben wanted her so badly, wanted her in a way that he had never wanted anything else.  It was love and lust and everything in between.

But then Starla’s legs dropped and she turned her head, murmuring, “I can’t, Ben.  Not right now.  Not like this.”

And he remembered.  She wanted to wait, wanted it to be special.  He wanted to wait with her, for her.  She was worth it, his Starla.  She was worth every moment of his life.

“It’s alright, babe.  I understand.”  He released her, and then rolled over so he was next to her.  His hand snaked down her side, grabbing hers.

“Over the summer, maybe,” she said.

His heart skipped a beat.  “You know that won’t work, Starla.”

“It could.”

“It can’t.  It won’t.”  Ben took a deep breath, and released it, shaking the air.  “I’m going to New York City for school, and I need to leave early so I can make sure I get a nice place to live.  I’ve already started apartment searching.  I’m leaving at the end of June at the very latest.”

Starla didn’t answer, just squeezed her fingers a little tighter against his.  The silence set back in and for a few minutes neither of them spoke.  They just stared at the sky, at the hundreds of thousands of stars glittering up above them.  The universe seemed so vast and they were so small, so Ben couldn’t figure out how, in this grandiose world, the girl next to him meant everything to him. 

“Come with me,” he said, already anticipating her answer.  It was a conversation that they had been through before, months ago when Ben received his acceptance letter to NYU.  He had brandished the letter in his hand as he had knocked excitedly on Starla’s front door, only to be met with a face of defeat.

“You know that’s not possible.”

“It is.  I want you to come with me, Star.  We can get a little apartment.  You can find some work and I’ll go to school.  We can be together.  You know how badly I want that, don’t you?  For us to be together?”  Ben let go of her hand so he could prop himself up on one arm.  He stared deep into those green eyes that he had fallen in love with and felt his heart jerk when he saw that they were full of pain.  “Please, Starla.  I want to give you everything you deserve.”

There was a slight stretching of skin as she withdrew her fingers from his.  She sat up, wrapping her arms around her slightly shivering frame.  “But Lisa,” she said simply, letting the rest of her sentence fall away into the dark. 

Lisa…now Ben knew that Starla would never leave that small town of Bellen, New Jersey as long as Lisa was still around.  She was Starla’s younger sister, only sixteen years old, and suffered from a condition known as Hutchinson-Guilford Progeria Syndrome.  Basically, Lisa’s body looked and acted like the body of an elderly woman.  She was stiff, couldn’t move easily.  Her skin was paper-thin and tore easily.  Worst of all, Lisa had heart disease.  She wasn’t going to live for a long time.

The two sisters had grown up as close friends despite the difference in appearance and lifestyle.  Starla had the privilege of participating in many activities that Lisa couldn’t do, which always weighed heavily on the older sister’s heart.  When her parents had lost their jobs and were forced to rely on government assistance, it was Starla who went out and found a full-time job.  Every day she balanced school, work, and care for her sister.  Sometimes, Ben was surprised to see Starla walking towards him with a smile on her face, confused about how this girl who had everything in the world going against her but was still happy.

That’s why he wanted to whisk her away to the big city – away from the long hours at the diner with ungrateful customers, away from Lisa and heart disease and the inevitable stench of death that always hung around their house, away from all of the pain and heartbreak that Starla had dealt with in that small town existence.  Ben wanted to show her bright lights and movie stars, wanted to hold her hand while they sat on the Ferris wheel in the Toys ‘R Us in Times Square.  He wanted to wake up every morning to that cute button nose and the soft sound of her snoring.

“Lisa will be fine with your parents,” he said half-heartedly, not really believing his own words.

A soft, wheedling sigh escaped from Starla’s lips.  “We can’t afford her medicine unless I’m working.”

“Do you just not want to go with me?  Is that what it is?”  His voice rose.  He was aware that he was becoming irrational and didn’t really care.  “Every time I ask you to come with me, you have an excuse.  I love you, Starla.  I want to spend the rest of my life with you.”

“Don’t make this about you.”

“It is about me!”

“No, it isn’t!  It isn’t about you!”  Starla’s vocal volume rose to match Ben’s, as she shouted, “There’s more to life than going to college and being rich, Ben!  My sister is dying and I want to spend as much time as I can with her.  I work so hard.”  Her voice caught in her throat for a minute.  She rarely got this angry, rarely felt the need to scream.  Tears welled up in her eyes and she wiped them away with the back of her hand, leaving a dark-brown streak of dirt across her cheek.  “I work so hard and it still isn’t enough.  Not for you, not for my parents.  So I’m going to stay here and support the only person who knows how hard I work, and that’s my sister.”

Their anger rolled over them like clouds, dampening what had been such a wonderful night.  Above them, the glow of the stars seemed to dim, washing them in a deep blackness.  Starla closed her eyes, trying to eradicate them of any stray tears that might have slipped out.  She felt crying was a waste of time, a sign of weakness.  People could call her many things but weak was not one of them.

Next to her there was a shuffle on the grass, some movement, as Ben stood up and wiped debris off from his pants.  His dark purple tie was skewed off to one side.

“If you want to come with me,” he muttered, “you need to tell me now.  Otherwise, I’m walking away, Star.  If you say no, I’m going inside and that’s it.  You and I are done.  I’m leaving this town no matter what.”

“Don’t say that.”

“Starla, I’m dead serious.  You need to tell me right now that you’re coming with me or this relationship is over.”

Pain intensified in his gut when the girl in front of him stayed quiet, her head held in her hands.  She wouldn’t even look up at him.  Ben took a few deep breaths, trying to steady himself, trying to give her time to agree with him.  God, he was so in love that he thought she might actually do it.  He heard her hiccup softly as she tried to hold back her sadness, and then nothing.

Defeat.  It hurt like nothing he had felt before.  “Fine,” he said.  “Fine.”  He turned on his heel and opened the back door to the house.  With one final look back at the only girl he had ever loved, he shut the door on his first relationship and solidified his move into a greater life.

As the night turned cold and bitter, so did Starla.  For another hour she remained planted in the center of Ben’s backyard, unable to stop the tears.

2014 – Ben

The morning air quivered with the sounds of honking taxi cabs and screaming children unsuccessfully being soothed by their frazzled nannies.  The city never slept and neither did the inhabitants.  The area around Central Park was notorious for the morning noise as the tourists with their clicking cameras wandered around the sidewalks hoping to get a feel of what New York City was made up of.

It had been eight years since Ben had first moved to the city for college and he was finally acclimated to the city sounds.  At first, upon his arrival at NYU, they were jarring.  He didn’t understand how people could spend their nights accompanied by a near-constant stream of curse words and car horns.  Oftentimes he couldn’t sleep, tossing and turning in his bed, wondering why he had traded the near-silent streets of Bellen for the hustle and bustle of a city.

“It’s not for everybody,” his roommate, a striking African-American guy named Kyle, had told him one morning.  “Now me, I love this city.  But I grew up here.  I can’t even hear no noises outside anymore, tune ‘em out.  But you?”  With that, Kyle had chuckled.  “With you, you’re a small town type of guy.  Can’t stand the noise, the movement, the aggressiveness.  Everything in New York City is aggressive.  The people, the streets, the women.  Bet you can’t handle that.  You’re not used to it.  Probably have some sweet little chick back home, don’t ya?”

Ben, remembering Starla, had shrugged and said no.  He wanted to leave all the nonsense of his past behind and move forward.  He had finally escaped.  It was at that moment, talking to Kyle, that he promised himself he wasn’t going to be some sweet small-town guy that other New Yorkers and other students could take advantage of.  He wasn’t going to be like Starla Bluff, forever stuck in stagnation.  So he committed himself to finding parts of the city to love, to getting used to the noise, to being the Benjamin Brindell that he knew he could be.

Eight years later, he couldn’t believe that he had ever disliked the sounds of the city.  They were like the sweetest music to his ears now.  It was difficult to sleep without the white noise of footfall and screeching cars.  Every morning he made himself toast with butter and strawberry jam, sat at his kitchen table, and listened.  He was finally a big city man.

That morning, he had opened the fridge to take out the strawberry jam and realized there was none.  He made a mental note to run to the market later and grab some, lest his breakfast routine be ruined for more than one day.  Begrudgingly he decided to use grape jelly, a much less appealing option.  Ben didn’t even like grape jelly much; he found it cloyingly sweet.  It stuck to his palate all day, making him errantly smack his lips and run his tongue around the inside of his mouth.  He normally wouldn’t keep such a disgustingly processed food item in his refrigerator, but Mina liked it.  The old saying was
“Happy wife, happy life,”
but it should honestly have been changed to
“Happy female companion, happy life.”