Romance: Rockstar Romance: Rock My World (A Bad Boy Rock Star and a College Girl Romance) (Contemporary New Adult Second Chance Romance) (43 page)

When he thought about Ruthie, Joe was filled with a warm and overwhelming love. He adored his sweet daughter as much as he had his wife and wanted to see her smile again. But he was incapable of consoling her when he wasn’t able to console himself. And how would a three year old be able to wrestle with the incredible devastation of losing a mother without some help from an adult?

So with the deepest regret, Joe had let his brother, Alexander and sister-in-law, Catherine, take Ruthie to their farm until he could get his head back on straight.

This decision had left him mourning both his wife and the daughter he loved so much. It seemed they were both gone from him, even though Ruthie was still there.

His mind whirled with emotion and he stopped his horse, sliding
from the saddle
to land softly on the ground below. He tied the reins to a tree branch, not that he thought Sally would try to run off. She had been with him for five years and never went anywhere without him. He could walk around the land for miles and she would stay by his side or behind him, waiting for him to get on her back.

He plopped on the grass below him and looked down over the field as it sloped downward. He could throw himself over one of the ravines.

The thought made him shake his head. “
Not a chance
,” he murmured, picking up a rock and tossing it down the hill to see how far it would go. “
Ruthie
.” He was definitely reconsidering his decision to let Ruthie go to Alex and Catherine’s. But in order to get her back, he had to get his mind straight again. He didn’t think he wanted to listen to what Catherine would say if he asked for Ruthie back without having some kind of recovery and future in mind. And right now, all he could think of was day to day survival. Even after all these months.

He sighed. “I gotta do something about this,” he said in a low voice. Sally let her head down next to him and nudged him with her nose. He patted her head and smiled at her. “I’m just talking to myself, girl. You don’t want me alone and sad forever, either, do you? Big girl. What would I do without you?”

He rubbed her nose and under her chin. “I know, girl. I gotta do something. I gotta pull myself together here.”

Sally snorted playfully and he felt like she understood and was agreeing.

“Yeah, yeah.”

He breathed in deeply and let it out slowly. “Okay, girl. I will. I’m gonna make things better now. I’m gonna get my head on and think right. I gotta think about Ruthie. I gotta think about my horses. I gotta think about…” He got to his feet and wrapped one arm over his saddle. “I gotta think about me.”

He turned her in the direction they had originally come from, toward his ranch house. He would go visit his older brother and ask for advice. Alex was working at the grain mill in town. Joe wanted to talk with him while he was at work, so that Catherine wouldn’t be around. She was highly critical of him, had always been that way. He didn’t need any more criticism. Her berating is what had caused him to let Ruthie go over there in the first place. Catherine had made him sound completely incompetent in caring for a three year old girl. But Ruthie had been there almost a month and it was time to get her back.

No matter how he felt, his daughter was more important and it had been long enough.

As he approached the mill, he could see his older brother standing outside the building, holding a large cup, which he frequently took a drink from as he listened to another man speak. They were involved in what looked like a serious discussion to Joe, until Alex threw his head back and laughed heartily, slapping his friend on the arm with his free hand. They both laughed more.

Joe smiled as he got closer.
Alex looked up and lifted one hand.

“Joe! What are you doing in town, brother? It’s good to see you.” He glanced at the man he’d been talking to. “That’s my brother, you know him, don’t you?”

The man nodded. “Yeah, we’ve met many times, Alex. You know that.”

They both laughed again.

Joe came to a stop in front of them and slid down from the saddle, throwing the reins over a nearby hitching post. “Matt.” He nodded at the other man.

“Joe!”

They shook hands.

Joe looked up at his brother, who was much larger than he was. Alex was built strong, big and tough, with muscles bulging from all over his body. Joe was happy with what he had and didn’t desire to be as muscular as his brother. In all honesty, he wasn’t sure how Alex had gone from a slender young man to a bulky muscular man in the ages between 21 and 31.

“Alex, wondering if you wouldn’t mind taking a minute for me?”

Alex’s smile wavered and the look in his eyes told Joe he knew the talk would be a serious one.

“Of course, brother, of course.”

“I’ll let you guys discuss.” Matt backed up. “I’ll see you inside, Alex.”

“If you want to stay, Matt, I could use as many wise ideas as possible.”

Matt looked surprised. “Well…okay, if you really want me to stay. Let’s sit over on those benches though. Too hot to keep standing here.”

They moved to the benches, which were placed so that they all faced each other in a circle.

Alex held out the big cup to Joe. “You want a gulp of water, Joe? You look hot.”

“Yeah, thanks, I appreciate that.”

He took the cup and did, indeed, take a large gulp of the cool water. He was impressed that it was as cool as it was. “Thanks.” He said. His brother nodded.

“So I’m thinking it’s about time to pull myself together.” Alex said. “I’m not sitting well with this life I’m leading. I gotta do something to make a change. I don’t want to be miserable another day of my life and I want my little girl back. I need suggestions. What you guys think I should do?”

Matt lowered his eyes and looked at the ground intently. Alex continued looking at his brother and there was a bit of uncomfortable silence as Joe wondered what they were going to say, how they would respond.

Matt looked up at Alex, waiting to see what Joe’s actual brother would say before giving his own response. Alex finally spoke up, blinking at his brother.

“I think you need to be with your baby girl, Joey. But how do you feel? I mean, you really lose a lot there and you were having a hard time. You been hitting the bottle much lately?”

Joe shook his head. “No, I quit the drink right after you…after Ruthie went to stay with your family. I didn’t like slopping around like a pig in a mud pen. I wanna put it back together. But I really can’t reckon how I’m gonna do that.”

“You’re always gonna miss Annie.” Alex said. “But you gotta move on sometime. You been eyein’ any of the women in town? You thought about askin’ somebody to dinner or a ride through that gorgeous land of yours? What are you considering?”

“That’s the thing, Alex, I’m not considering. Don’t reckon there’s much to consider around here.”

“You ever thought,” Matt finally spoke up. “About gettin’ yourself a bride from the East through the post?”

“How am I gonna find a woman in the East? I don’t know anybody out there.”

Matt shook his head. “I heard about a bunch of brothers out in Nevada that placed ads in the newspaper last year and all four of ‘em got brides that way. You just send an ad to a random newspaper somewhere on the East Coast, you know like New York and Virginia and South Carolina. You could do that. You got the money to place an ad and you got the money to send telegraphs when somebody sends you back a response.”

“I don’t know, Matt.” Alex said, narrowing his eyes. “You think that’s really a good thing to do? No tellin’ what kind of woman Joey here would end up with.”

“I don’t see why you shouldn’t give it a try.” Matt shrugged. “Don’t you want a mother for Ruthie and a wife?”

Joe shook his head. “I gotta doubt that some woman from the East is gonna want to travel all the way over here for a horse rancher.”

“You got it wrong, friend.” Matt said, shaking his head. “I hear they’re jumping at the chance. Plus, those four brothers, they even fell in love with their brides. They were good decent women.”

“If you word it right, you could probably find a woman suitable, Joey.” Alex began to nod and his voice sounded positive and approving. He leaned forward and looked directly at Joe. “And when you’re settled in with her, you can get Ruthie back.”

Joe pressed his lips together. It sounded as though Alex had made up his mind that it was a good idea.

And he didn’t mind the thought of sharing his bed with a woman again.

****

Chapter Three

Liz pulled a letter from her bag and laid it on the table in front of them. “Now, listen to me before you say anything, okay, Minnie?”

Minnie looked at the letter and then back up at her friend, narrowing her eyes. “What did you do, Liz?” Her tone was only a little scared. She was more curious than anything. What was Liz being so sly about?

“I have been thinking about you and worrying about you and praying for you for a long time now, Minnie. You know I love you as my dear sister, don’t you?”

Minnie nodded without answering, her stomach becoming tight as she listened to her friend.

“I wouldn’t do anything I thought wasn’t in your best interests, would I?”

“No, I don’t think you would, Lizzie. You’re my very best friend.”

Liz nodded slowly, her eyes dropping to the letter under her fingertips. She made to slide it to Minnie and then stopped. She looked up at her friend.

“Minnie, about a month ago, I saw an ad for a woman to come
to the West
to be a bride for a man out there.”

Minnie’s heart stopped for just a moment. She knew where this was going.

“I don’t think I can…”

“Yes, I know.” Liz cut her off, nodding. She patted Minnie’s hand. “That’s why…that’s why I answered it for you.”

Minnie’s breath caught in her throat. Her eyes widened and she couldn’t figure out if she was angry, mortified, humiliated or happy and excited. “Liz!” She said her friend’s name breathlessly.

Liz looked concerned for a moment, subconsciously pulling the letter slightly closer to herself. “I…I really think you need new scenery, Mins. You need to get out of this town where all of your memories live and surround yourself with a whole new life.”

“What about Billy?”

“Well, I didn’t know how this man would respond if I told him you had a baby, so I didn’t mention it right away. I thought it would be better to get a letter back from him that was more personal and would let me know if I was good in sending a response to his ad. And I got a letter and I think you should read it. I think it might make you see things a little differently. Plus, you can respond if you want and if you don’t, I will send him a letter saying I have changed my mind…as you, of course.”

“Oh Liz.” Minnie found herself drawn to the letter in Liz’s fingers. She licked her lips and pressed them together, biting them softly at the same time.

Hesitantly, she put her hand toward the letter and slowly pulled it over the tabletop. She pulled in a breath and held it up to look at it. “You think I should read it.” She made it sound more like a statement than a question but Liz nodded.

“I really do. You need a change. You do, honey. You do. Read it. Please.”

Minnie finally pulled out the letter and unfolded it. She read a few lines and Liz smiled when she looked at her.

“Well?”

“Let me finish it.” Minnie mumbled. Liz was right. The man in Nevada said he was a horse rancher and that he had a lot of security to offer her. She didn’t know what Liz had told Joe Graham but she must have made her sound very sweet and lovely because the tone of Joe’s letter was extremely gracious and kind.

“What did you tell him about me?”

“I told him that you had dark hair, brown eyes, a slender figure and a bright mind. I told him you were intelligent and honest and trustworthy. Because you are those things.”

“You must have made me sound very high on myself.” Minnie frowned a little, thinking about her quick temper and her tendency to get annoyed with there were flying bugs in her house.

Liz just smiled. “Please keep reading. I didn’t make you sound high on yourself at all. Just keep reading.”

The rest of the letter described the nature that surrounded the ranch in Nevada. It was a page filled with the loveliest descriptions she could imagine in her mind. Liz was pleased with the reaction her friend was having. It looked like she might be considering it.

“He doesn’t mention whether Billy can come along or not.”

Liz shook her head. “I told you I didn’t mention him. You will need to approach that in your letter to tell him whether you want to come or not.”

“But if I mention it now, do you think he will be upset because he thought he was getting a woman with no children?”

Liz shook her head again. “No. Stop being negative Nelly. Just consider it tonight and pray on it and let me know in the morning what you decide. If you don’t want to, I want to write him a response. If you do, then you need to write a response to him. You will think about it tonight, won’t you?”