Room at the Edge (28 page)

“I thought you’d still be in bed. It’s only nine.”

After everything that’d happened since Liam had woken him, it felt more like noon. “If you thought I was still in bed, why did you— Never mind. What do you want? And make it quick.”

Her breath caught on a sob. “Ryan wants to slow things down. He says I’m distracting him from studying and we shouldn’t see so much of each other.”

“Oh,” Austin said blankly, but Ryan probably had a point. April always assumed that in a list of priorities, she came first, but that wouldn’t go over well with the only boyfriend she’d had who actually had ambitions and goals. Ryan might like April, even love her, but from the little she’d told Austin, the guy seemed dedicated to the idea of being a pediatrician and committed to getting his degree. That would knock April down a few places on the list. “Okay.”

“Okay? It’s not okay! I can’t handle being here without him; I just can’t. Seeing him with someone else—God, I’d want to punch her—”

“Huh? Punch who? You said he wanted to concentrate on studying. That’s not the same as having a new girlfriend.”

“How stupid are you? Of course it is! What else could it mean? And he said it was for my good too. Said I wasn’t focusing and I needed some self-discipline.” She made an indescribable sound of disgust. “Jerk.”

Austin lay on the bed on his stomach, making the most of the break from kneeling. “If he’s a jerk, you’re better off without him.”

“I love him,” April said. “I wouldn’t expect you to understand that. You and Jay are just so boring, so…married. No sparks. Everything simple. I’m not like that. You know I’m not.”

Austin rolled his eyes. He was talking to his sister while wearing a huge butt plug. Oh yeah. His life was really bland and boring.

“I want to stay here and get good grades—I do. I can hear you thinking I’m lying, but I’m not. I just can’t do it without him. Knowing he’s on my side keeps me sane. I need him.”

Sighing, Austin tried to sound understanding and sympathetic. “He didn’t say he’s breaking up with you, did he?”

“No.” April sniffled.

“He said he needs to focus on studying more. Not that he wants to see other girls or whatever.”

“But that’s what he means!” April wailed. “It has to be. That’s just what you say when you don’t want to hurt someone’s feelings.”

“Austin,” Liam said from the doorway, and Austin rolled quickly off the bed and down onto the floor, wondering how badly he’d just fucked up. Liam had told him to answer the phone, not to make himself comfortable. “Is this an emergency?” It was obvious he knew it wasn’t.

“No,” Austin said, barely choking back the word
Sir.

“Then I’d like you to wrap up the conversation as soon as possible and hang up.” Liam stood there, waiting.

“—isn’t it?” April was saying.

“What?” Austin said. “Look, I have to go.”

“That’s not Jay.” April sounded scandalized. “Did you guys break up? Is that why you don’t care about my relationship?”

“Believe it or not, your life isn’t foremost on my mind,” Austin said, knowing he was being mean but unable to stop himself. “No, Jay and I didn’t break up. That’s Liam, our landlord. Mom told you we’d moved into an apartment in his basement, didn’t she?”

“She told me you were moving, but she didn’t say whose house it was. Him! Why move in with him? He’s rude and old, and he doesn’t like me.”

Indignation sharpened his voice. Liam had paid her fine and gotten her out of a cell; the least she could do was remember that. Blowing the better relationship they’d had going since she left, he snapped, “Yeah, well, you’re rude, immature, and ungrateful, and I don’t like you a lot of the time either.”

“Austin!”

“I have to go.” He hung up before she could protest, silenced the phone, and turned toward Liam with his hands on his thighs. “I’m sorry, Sir.”

Liam ran his hand over his dark hair, managing to leave it tidier than before. Austin had seen Liam after sex, sweating, flushed, but he’d still looked in control in some indefinable way. It was impossible to picture him in creased or grubby clothing, or with hair that needed washing or combing. Liam always looked ready to step onto the front cover of a magazine. “So am I, but it wasn’t your fault. Who was it?”

“April. Her boyfriend wants to cool things off, and she’s freaking out.” Austin was miserable and uncomfortable and pretty sure he was doing a terrible job hiding both things. “I really am sorry. I wish I’d remembered to turn the phone off. Or to charge it yesterday. Anything.”

“Stop apologizing. There’s no need.” Liam seemed to mean it. “It’s fine. We have time.”

“Do we?” He wanted to apologize again, but Liam had told him not to. He needed reassurance.

“Yes, I promise you. I’m not in the habit of lying to make you feel better.” Liam tugged Austin to his feet and wrapped both arms around him, and Austin sighed and leaned in, grateful for Liam’s warmth

Jay appeared in the doorway, still naked. “Sir? Is everything okay?”

“I think so,” Liam said slowly, and Austin nodded at both of them.

“It was April,” he told Jay.

“Let me guess—she’s in crisis mode because she did something stupid, and she wants you to bail her out.”

Austin shrugged. “More like she wanted me to listen to her whine for a couple of hours. Then call her boyfriend and whip him into shape.”

“Sounds like a job for Liam.” Jay grinned.

“No, thank you,” Liam said, but he was almost smiling too. “I’ve done more than my fair share of dealing with her already, I think.”

“You have,” Austin agreed. “You’re officially off the hook.” He stretched and winced as his ass twinged painfully. “What now?”

“The first thing we do is get that plug out of you and some food into both of you,” Liam said decisively, like he’d read Austin’s mind. Maybe he had. “It’s Saturday, and we’re not going to spoil it by fretting. Come on, then. Let’s go.”

As he moved to obey, Austin hoped Liam knew what he was talking about.

Chapter Fifteen

It had been more than a week since Austin had seen his mom when he pulled into her driveway the next morning. He’d called her a couple of times and only gotten the answering machine, which wasn’t normal—usually she picked up if she was home, and usually she was home in the evening. Jay had suggested that maybe she’d found a boyfriend and was heavily into dating him, which made Austin feel vaguely ill. He’d ended that conversation by throwing the couch cushion at Jay’s head.

Going into the house, he called her name and heard her answer from the family room, sounding startled. She was on the couch, a talk show host babbling from the TV, a cup of coffee in her hand.

“Hey, you.” Austin bent over to give her a kiss. “Where is everyone?”

“Oh, they’re out,” she said with a vague flap of her hand. “Most Sundays I’m on my own these days.”

“I’m sorry,” Austin began, taking a seat beside her, but she shook her head.

“I’m glad the boys have found someone to be with, and April will be back soon.”

“Like she was ever around much on weekends,” Austin said with a snort. “She called me yesterday, all worked up over her boyfriend.”

“She called me too,” Sarah said slowly. “Austin, she sounded really upset.”

“Did she?” Austin wasn’t really interested. April’s boyfriends came and went. He’d hoped Ryan would stick around, especially since he seemed to be a good influence, but if he’d seen the less sunny side of April and decided to run, Austin couldn’t blame the guy. “Ryan’s probably just stressed about finals or something. They’ll work it out.”

“She was upset about you,” Sarah told him. She set her coffee down and turned to face him fully, meeting his gaze for the first time since he’d walked in. “Austin, you’ve always said I could ask you anything. We…we’ve been close. No secrets between us.”

That wasn’t something anyone could hear from a parent without apprehension crawling up their spine. Austin braced himself, trying to focus on the fact that he was in his midtwenties, and no matter what he’d done, he couldn’t be grounded for it. “Uh, I guess.”

Her lips set in a firm line, her back straight, Sarah Fisher facing a problem head-on, the way she always did. “She thinks you’ve split up with Jay, and I…well, I can see why she’d think that.”

“Huh?” Relief made him laugh, though he promised himself a long talk with April, with no holding back, because she was his baby sister. “Mom! That’s never gonna happen. Ever. I love Jay, and he loves me. I can’t imagine my life without him. Trust me, everything’s fine between us.”

The look she gave him was grieved, not accusing, but it cut through him like a cold wind. “Then why did I see you kissing that man at your party? I’d had too much to drink, yes, but I know what I saw, and I haven’t been able to put it out of my head.” Her eyes filled with tears, her face flushing. “You kissed him, Austin,” she repeated. “Why would you do such a thing?”

“I what?” Austin shifted a little bit away from her, leaning against the arm of the couch. “I have no idea what you’re talking about. Kissed who?” She had to mean Liam, but how could she have seen him kiss Liam?

“Your ‘landlord.’” Sarah made air quotes around the word. She might be upset, but that didn’t mean she wasn’t capable of being sharp. “Except that’s not who he really is, is it? He’s your new boyfriend. I don’t know why you went to so much effort to hide it, unless it’s because you were ashamed. Which you shouldn’t be, honey. It’s not your fault. I’m just so confused, and Jay always seemed so nice…”

Austin felt like his mother was talking in circles, and he was the one getting spun around, dizzier and more disoriented by the second. “Jay is nice,” he protested; that was one thing he knew for sure.

“Not if he was hurting you,” Sarah said. She reached over and took Austin’s hand, and Austin let her. “I just wish you’d told me, instead of pretending you and Jay were moving together. Where is he living now? I went over to your old place last night, and there are new people living there. Or is Jay living in that basement apartment alone, and you’re living upstairs with Liam? But why would you do that, if Jay was being so abusive?”

“Oh my God.” Austin pulled his hand away from hers and ran both of his through his hair. “You do realize you sound like a crazy person?”

Sarah’s eyes narrowed in anger. “I’ll remind you you’re talking to your mother, young man. Just because you weren’t able to keep your little secret hidden—”

Austin laughed; he couldn’t help it. His little secret was still hidden as far as he could tell, and likely to stay that way if this was the kind of story his mom cooked up in her head based on a few bruises and a kiss he was pretty sure she’d imagined. “Mom, you were really drunk the night of our housewarming party. I think you’re confused.”

“I’m not confused,” Sarah said. “I pushed open the door to your bedroom to say good-bye before I left, and you were in there with Liam. You were kissing Liam.”

Shit.

Austin was left floundering. He couldn’t tell his mom the whole truth—it wasn’t only his decision to make—and he didn’t want to. His sex life wasn’t any of her business, and he didn’t feel a shred of guilt about including Liam in his relationship with Jay. They might’ve had issues to work through and adjustments to make, but becoming a threesome had given Jay and him the balance they needed, and Liam had gone from frustrated and unfulfilled to happy. They’d all benefited.

That said, he could see now why she was upset, and he knew it was rooted in concern for him, so he couldn’t be too annoyed with her. All the truth, no, but should he share part of it? Maybe.

God, he wished he could discuss this with the other two first, but if he tried to leave or text, Sarah would think he was being coerced or something. Jay abusive? Jay?

He kept his voice level, projecting calm. “Mom, listen. Yes, you saw me kissing Liam. And if you’d put your head around the door a minute earlier, you’d have seen Jay there with us, and he was getting kissed too, by both of us. It was what we wanted in the moment, and yes, it was risky, but sometimes you just can’t help yourself.”

“Well, I don’t understand how you can cheapen yourself like that.”

“How I can what?”

Sarah’s cheeks were stained brightly now, an angry color rising. “When people, stupid, bigoted people, told me gay men were promiscuous, I used to point at you and Jay. Tell them you were as happy and faithful as any couple I knew. Now you tell me you’re both happy sleeping around with anyone who takes your fancy? And Liam! You told me he’d been married.” She pressed her hands to her face. “I flirted with him at your party.” Her hands dropped to her lap, lying limply before she twisted them together as if she were trying to wash them clean. “I flirted with him,” she repeated in a whisper. “You must have laughed at me. The silly woman who can’t tell when a man’s gay. When he’s involved with my son.”

“Mom—” Desperate to erase the shocked misery and shame in her eyes, Austin took her hands, more to still that restless movement than to comfort her, but she snatched them away.

“Don’t touch me!” She shook her head, her expression so closed off that she was barely recognizable to him. “I’m so disappointed with you, Austin. So ashamed that you and Jay would risk what you have for some sleazy one-night stand with a man old enough to be your father.”

“It wasn’t a one-night stand,” Austin shot back immediately, but that wasn’t the point. He really needed to focus on the stuff she needed to know, not the stuff she didn’t, although the line was becoming increasingly difficult to see. “Mom…I didn’t lie to you about Liam. He was married, to a woman, and as far as he knew he was straight until he met me and Jay. It’s been hard for him to—”

“I don’t want to hear it! I can’t believe this. He’s old enough to be your father, Austin. That’s sick. He’s just using you. I don’t know why; I’m sure he could date some nice woman his own age and get remarried if he’s lonely. There’s no need for him to prey on children.”

Austin found himself standing up, his voice raised. “Do you hear yourself? Jay and I aren’t kids. We’re practically middle-aged! And more than mature enough to make our own decisions about our love lives. Liam isn’t ‘preying’ on anyone. I know you’re my mother, but that doesn’t mean I’m a child!”