Rose (4 page)

She looks confused for a moment when we arrive at my house, and I gently shake her awake. I help her from the car and place a hand around her waist to steady her as we walk slowly to the front door. We both blink when we enter the brightly lit foyer, adjusting to the glare after the dark interior of the car. I suck in a breath as I really look at her for the first time. “Christ!” I hiss. Clamping my jaw shut to keep from saying more, I lead her down the hallway and through my bedroom to the bathroom beyond. I pause before deciding that she’s in no condition to worry about modesty; not that she ever has with me in the past anyway.

Rose keeps her head down as I tug the top she’s wearing over her head and try not to feel like a complete pervert at my body’s reaction to her lacy, black bra.
Down boy, now’s not the time
. The problem is my cock has never been particularly good at listening to me in situations that involve a scantily clad female. Her eyes follow my hands, and I pray she doesn’t notice the slight tremble in them as I move next to her feet. She places a hand on my shoulder without being asked and lifts a leg while I remove one shoe and then we repeat the process until the other is off.

Then I attempt to carefully blank my mind as I reach for the button on her slacks and fumble to release it. When I lower the zipper next, it sounds so loud in the enclosed space I find myself flinching. “Holy shit,” I blurt out as she kicks her pants away from her ankles and stands before me in the matching black lace panties. I feel hot and cold all at once. Hell, I’m afraid for a moment I might actually pass out. I’m like a horny boy faced with his first nearly naked female body. Then I see her raw, bleeding knees and I feel like five kinds of bastard. I clear my throat, trying to keep my voice level as I ask, “Do you … um, want me to finish doing you?” Her eyes widen as she stares down at me. I wince as I realize my question may have been misconstrued. I begin to stutter out, “I—shit, not like sexually. I mean, not that I was thinking that, because that would make me an asshole. I’m talking about removing your clothes—getting you naked.” I slump forward, shutting my mouth before I can cram yet another foot into it.

“I know what you were trying to say, Max,” she says lightly. Then I feel something—hands in the damp strands of my hair, stroking me. I allow my head to rest against her stomach as she continues to soothe me. I wrap my arms loosely around her hips and run a hand up and down her thigh, caressing her smooth skin. I’m not certain how long we remain in that position, both giving and receiving comfort before it hits me. She must still be freezing. I abruptly jerk back, breaking the contact between us.

Getting to my feet, I say, “I’m sorry, honey, let’s get you in the shower.” I pull the door open and turn the dials. Within seconds, steam fills the bathroom. Going into my detached lawyer mode, I ask, “Do you need anything else?” She stares at me as if she wants to say something, but simply shakes her head. I pull a washcloth and towel from the cabinet and lay them near the sink before walking out and closing the door behind me. She is in the process of lowering her panties when I open the door to add, “I’ll be right out here.” Holy. Shit. There’s a tattoo of a rose with a stem of thorns on her shoulder. I can barely keep myself from reaching out to trace the outline with my fingertips—or better yet, my tongue. My heart is thumping loudly as I close the door and lean against the wall outside. And that ass. What I wouldn’t give to squeeze it in my hands.
You’re a sick bastard, Decker. She’s been through a trauma, and you’re ogling her.
Once again, my dick doesn’t give a damn that he’s being a bad boy. He knows what he likes, and right now, she’s standing in my shower with soap most likely running over her firm tits and between the crevice of ...
Fuck! Think of something else—like anything that doesn’t have to do with sex or vaginas.

I’ve almost talked some sense into the monster in my pants when Rose steps out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around her body—leaving a long expanse of thigh and the curve of her breasts visible above and below the terry cloth.
No, no, no!
In reality, I know that she asks, “Do you have any Band-Aids?” In my mind, it’s more like, “Do you have any condoms?”

“I—er, pardon?” I manage to get out, trying to keep my eyes focused above her head.

I hear the confusion as she repeats her request. “Band-Aids?”

“Oh yeah, sorry,” I mumble as I jump to action. “I’ll just get me some—I mean you, not me. I’m obviously not getting any—because I don’t need it, right?”
Dear God, just shut the fuck up. Dude, you’ve seen a naked woman before. What’s the problem? You’re making an ass of yourself. She’s going to call a taxi and run as far away as she can from you.

I walk toward the closet in the hallway where I keep my first-aid kit. She follows behind me, making my skin tingle. “Is everything all right?” she asks hesitantly.

Giving her an embarrassed laugh, I grab the plastic kit in one hand and clasp her fingers in the other, leading her to my kitchen. I pull out a chair from the table and she sinks down onto it. Too late, I realize I should have gotten her a T-shirt or something else to wear.
You’ve got this. Just imagine she’s someone else. Maybe Lia. No, that’s not gonna work. You don’t need to picture your friend’s wife in only a towel. That’s all kinds of wrong.

I grab another chair and sit in front of her. I take an antiseptic wipe from the case and begin carefully going over her scrapes with it. Her hands and knees by far got the worst of it, and she hisses as I touch them. I find myself blowing on the injured flesh, trying to ease the burn. I’m sweating profusely by the time I’m finished, and it has nothing to do with the temperature in the house. Since the first time she touched me, every time Rose Madden was near, I’ve gone up in flames—and today is no exception. I want her so badly my teeth ache. Something about her soft, fragile look now has me in disarray. Vulnerable is not a word I would ever have used to describe her, but that’s exactly what she is tonight. As much as this new side of her entrances me, I can’t help but miss the devilish twinkle in her green eyes and the sassy pickup lines she uses so effortlessly. I find myself determined to do whatever it takes to get those things back. She’s not the kind of woman who was meant to look so defeated. The way I feel right now, I’ll fight whatever battle or war needs to be fought to save her. “What happened?” I ask softly as I begin bandaging one of her knees.”

She’s silent for so long I don’t think she’s going to answer me when she finally says, “I’m going to work with Lia.”

I nod my head. “Yeah, she told me that. Sounds like an amazing opportunity for both of you.”

“It is,” Rose agrees, but her voice is flat and lifeless. “I told my parents about it earlier this evening when my father demanded I move back home now that I’m finished with school.”

“And how did that go?” I prompt when she doesn’t continue.

Glancing up, I see her pull a shaky hand through her hair before a bitter laugh escapes her. She looks down the length of her body and then back at me before raising a brow and saying, “Not too well, I’d say. At first, we argued, and then my father abruptly backed down. That should have been my first clue that something was wrong. But foolish me thought that he actually respected me for being independent and was proud. That warm, fuzzy feeling lasted until I got to my apartment and the manager told me that my father had terminated my lease since it was in his name. He’d literally moved me out in an hour. Then I left the building only to find that my car was no longer where I parked it. I couldn’t fathom that it had been taken so I circled the area, thinking I’d forgotten what space it was in.”

By this point, I’ve given up all pretense of doing anything other than staring at her in horror. Surely, there must be some mistake. What kind of man would do that to his daughter? “Honey, have you spoken with him? Maybe—”

She holds up her hand, stopping my flow of words. “He sent me a text while I was looking for my car and told me that he’d done it all. Said since I was now self-supporting that he’d taken the liberty of removing all of the things from my life that were a burden. He also mentioned that my cell phone would be shut off within the hour and my checking account had been closed. So essentially, he took everything from me in just an evening. The sad thing about it is that I sat under his roof and played fucking bridge with my mother and her friends while he was pulling the strings that would make his daughter homeless.” She stops, closes her eyes briefly, and then inhales a deep breath. It’s as if the utter cruelty of her father’s actions are truly hitting her. She shakes a little and I so desperately want to hold her. Before I can, she continues. “He kissed me on the head like he was proud of me, all the while he was sticking a knife in my back and laughing his ass off.”

“Oh baby,” I choke out, “I’m so sorry that he did something like that to you.” I hear my words and know they’re completely inadequate. Hell, I’m in too much shock to formulate flowery speeches at this point. I point at her knee and ask, “How did this happen?”

In a small voice, sounding so very much like a child, she says, “I didn’t know where to go. I was going to call Lia but remembered she is out of town with Lucian. I was wet and cold, so I just started walking. The rain was really coming down, and I saw a store with an awning, so I ran for it. I wasn’t looking where I was going, though, and tripped on the sidewalk. I went down pretty hard.”

I swallow around the huge lump in my throat and quickly finish patching her up. I see a shiver go through her small frame and extend a hand to her. “Let’s go find you something to wear and get you into bed. Um—the spare bed,” I add quickly, wondering why I can’t keep my foot out of my mouth tonight. Her unexpected presence has me so rattled I’m making a fool out of myself.

She takes my hand and stands beside me before giving me a look filled with sadness. “Trust me, I know you don’t want me anywhere near
YOUR
bed. You’ve made that more than clear in the past.”

Congratulations, Max, you’re an asshole.
Even though I hadn’t meant my words the way she’d taken them, I still feel like shit. I’d simply been attempting to reassure her that she was safe with me. I hadn’t wanted her to think she had to sleep with me. In my rush to tell her exactly that, I’d made a mess once again and only ended up hurting her. “Rose, that’s wasn’t what I meant—”

“It’s fine—really. I appreciate all that you’ve done, believe me. So if you could show me where to sleep, that would be great. I’m exhausted.” She yawns as if to prove her point, although she’s careful not to make eye contact.

One thing is becoming clear to me during tonight: She’s more upset about what happened—or didn’t happen—between us than I’d realized. Other than a few glimpses I’d convinced myself I didn’t actually see, she’s been very blasé about our encounters. At times, I’ve thought she might care for me, but I’ve never been able to get a true lock on where she was in her head. She used our sexual attraction as both a distraction and a way to keep an emotional distance between us. And I’d been more than happy to let her because I was no more ready to commit to a real relationship than she was—or so I’d thought. But where had the hurt in her eyes come from?
This is exactly why you didn’t want to get involved.
I’d been devastated by love before and damned if I ever wanted to repeat it. Rose had complicated written all over her, and it fucking scared me to death. She also drew me in like a moth to a flame and that was even more terrifying. I didn’t want to be with her—but I couldn’t stay away. Where did that leave us? Eventually, you either made a decision or life made it for you as it had tonight. She shakes my hand, and I realize I’ve been standing here in the spare bedroom staring off into space.
Real smooth, Decker.
“Um … I was going to—?” My last word comes out as a question because I have no idea if I missed something.

“Get me a shirt?” she says slowly, no doubt thinking I’ve lost it.

While I zone out, she’s still in a wet towel after being up all night. Perfect.
“Sorry,” I mumble before jogging back to my room and pulling a Carolina Panthers T-shirt from one of my drawers. I give it a quick sniff before taking it back to her. I have no idea why guys always check to make sure their laundry doesn’t smell. Probably a leftover habit from my college days when I’d wear clothes several times before taking the time to launder them. The smell test was a necessity back then. “Here you go,” I say as I hold it out to her. She mumbles her thanks, and then shifts awkwardly. “I’ll, um, just be down the hall. You should have everything that you need in the bathroom. If you don’t, just let me know.”

“All right.” She gives a brief smile. “Thanks.”

And with that, I’m out of reasons to stay. If things were different, or maybe if we’d had some type of closure to our flirtation, we possibly wouldn’t both appear so uncomfortable right now. After the evening she’s had, I wish I were free to sleep with her and offer her the comfort she must surely need. Instead, we’re acting as if we’re little more than strangers. She’s had her hand on my cock and I’ve had my fingers inside her, with my tongue down her throat. But you’d never know it now. If one of us made the first move, then the other might relax enough to reciprocate. It’s clear, though, from her earlier comment that she won’t be doing that. She feels rejected by me. She called me to help her, but it’s like she still thinks she is a burden. Her eyes, when she told what her father had done, were so defeated. Hurt. Pained. Does she really fear I’d hurt her? That I’d turn her away?

Before I can do something that I might regret, she takes the decision from my hands and walks toward the bathroom, shutting the door softly behind her. I sigh, before leaving to make sure the house is locked up. I’m grateful tomorrow is Saturday and I have nowhere to be. I generally work from my home office for a few hours, but I am free to sleep late. I hope that Rose is able to relax enough to as well.