Roth (19 page)

If Marduke believes Hank can do it, then I can believe it
, too. Hank is tough and has the best motivation of all. If he doesn’t make it out of the forest alive, he’ll never have the chance to see Lisa again. That won’t be acceptable to him.

Besides, he made a promise to Kane, and he won’t easily break it. I’m rather in shock at what we
’ve just witnessed. After the long chase through the forest and constant fear of being burned alive, the events we’ve faced feel like they happened days ago already.

Kane and Hunter are dead. One murdered and one sacrificed himself to try
to save everyone back at the camps. I might have hated how Kane felt about Marduke and how he treated both of us, however I can’t fault his integrity. He was placed in a horrible position, having just lost his girlfriend because of Marduke’s people. What’s more, we’re all facing these awful creatures because of them. Even if Marduke’s father isn’t the reason behind this attack, we’re all not on Earth because of him.

Kane might have been a decent person on Earth, but what he saw and what was taken from him turned him into the angry, bitter man I
knew. I can’t continue to hate him in death because I can’t blame him for his prejudice against Marduke.

Unfortunately, if we make it out of here alive
, he won’t be the last person we have to face who hates Marduke on sight. If they find out who he truly is, humans will probably easily find themselves entering a blind rage around him.

Can I really despise someone who has every reason to be upset? We’ve all lost multiple people; all had our lives and homes stolen from us.
But humans can be full of honour and strength. We can sacrifice and be brave for the good of our own people. That is what Kane did. He knew he had life-threatening injuries and we were all likely going to be dead if those eggs hatched before we made it out of the forest. The others still in the camp only had one chance, which was for us to destroy the nest then and there. So he gave away any option or hope to try to make it out of there himself, even gave us some time to make a run for it before he started that fire.

I may have not liked Kane, but I can respect him. Hunter
, too. He came into the forest knowing our mission was not one we’d likely survive.

I feel proud to be human
, and thinking of how much strength we’ve all shown from this experience, I feel even more hope for Hank. He won’t give up, and he
will
make it out of this forest alive.

“Ready?” Marduke interrupts my inner speech and stares at me in concern. Who knows what type of expressions
I have just been making.

“Ready as I’ll ever be
. Let’s do this.” I give him a smile, trying to convey to him that I have hope now.

W
e take the last drink of water that we might have for a while since Marduke doesn’t have his backpack any longer, either, and we have no canisters to store any. Then we walk away from the river.

My feet squish in my shoes, my socks wet and uncomfortable feeling, but I relish the fresh feeling I have after our swim.
My clothing is already drying from the hot weather, and I know I will soon just be covered in sweat instead of being damp from the water, yet I keep moving forward.

I have a good feeling about what we’re going to find
. When Marduke quickens his pace, I don’t voice my body’s complaints. I just up with him.

If only I knew we weren’t going to get to the destination we intend
ed. Instead, we’re heading into trouble, every step we take only getting us closer to our doom.

If only
we had stayed at the river.

Chapter 16

Mattie

We’re beginning to jog when we hit our first problem. There are fallen leaves covering the ground, and unfortunately for Marduke, a small rock is hidden from his view. His foot lands on it unevenly and it twists his ankle so he rolls over it.

He grunts in pain, falling to the side and landing heavily on his other leg.

“Marduke?” I have taken a few steps passed him, my momentum driving me forward, but I know instantly that something is definitely wrong.

I race to his side and watch him try to stand up straight, but as soon as he puts any pressure on his foot
, he winces in pain. He ends up collapsing back to the ground.

“Is it your knee again?” I ask in concern, recalling the injury he suffered on Earth.

“My knee was fixed as soon as I was back with my own people. I only needed one injection to sort that out,” he says distractedly, his gaze staying on his foot.

“Really?” He only needed one injection to fix his knee? I can’t imagine if we had that ability for sports players back on Earth. I thought for sure
he would need a knee reconstruction. I assumed he must have had some sort of surgery on Oden, but really, I had sort of forgotten about his injury. “Is it your ankle?”

“Yes, but I’m fine.” He locks his jaw tight and attempts another step forward, but as soon as his foot
attempts to carry his weight, he crumbles under it.

“You’re not
!” I lift his pant leg up and see the swelling already beginning. I know if I take his shoe off right now it will balloon out from swelling. “Oh, shit,” I mutter.

“Just keep going on without me
,” he pleads.

“I can’t leave you here alone. You’ll starve to death, or worse
, one of those creatures will find you, or the fire.” My voice shakes, fear creeping up over me as it dawns on me Marduke is injured enough to cause us many problems.

“I can’t walk on this and you can’t carry me
,” he points out angrily.

“I can try to
.” I attempt to look optimistic, however he sees straight through me.

“Even if you can carry me, which I doubt you could, I would slow you down too much.”

“We’ve been running all day, Marduke. The first sun set a while ago and the second one is on its way down. We must be getting closer to the edge now, and we’re due for a break. If I keep walking us through the night, then we won’t be farther behind,” I try to reason, my feet aching with my offer of helping Marduke through the night. I wouldn’t be surprised if my shoes are covered in blood from all my broken blisters.

“You need rest, Mattie, and it will exhaust you too much to carry me.” He shakes his head sadly.

“Just put your arm over me and you can hop,” I beg, already grabbing his arm, encouraging him to place it around my shoulders.

He pushes away from me instead. “Please, you must leave me. You have to save yourself and our baby.”

“I can’t do this without you. I’ve already lost too much; I can’t lose you, too.” Panic begins to set in because I realise I can’t argue my way out of this, not to save Marduke.

“I don’t want this for you and our baby. You shouldn’t have to die like this or at all. Not here, not now.”

I collapse to my knees besides him, my chin falling to rest on my chest. “What type of person would I be if I just left you here to die alone?”

He reaches out and takes hold of my chin, forcing me to look up into his eyes. “You’d be a smart person who values their life and is willing to grant me my dying wish.”

“You’re not dying; you have a sprained ankle. At worst, it’s broken,” I snap, angry not only at our situation, but because Marduke won’t let me help him.

“I’m going to die in here
, Mattie. You don’t have to,” he pleads.

“So if our situations were reversed, you’d leave me to die alone?” I ask, hoping to trick him into agreeing with me. I can do this; I can talk him out of this.

“I would if I held our child in my hands. I wouldn’t condemn our baby to the same death when I could save it.”

I begin crying because I know he has a point. I hate that he has a point. I despise him for making me
understand that I’m the one in the wrong. “I don’t think I can leave you here, Marduke.”

“I know, but you have to. You need to get to Oden
. Do whatever you have to do to get there and find your sister. You still have people out there; you don’t have to be alone in this.”

“But I need you
. I can’t lose you, too.”

“I’m sorry
. I hate that I’m letting you down, letting our baby down. Please promise me you’ll leave and you’ll never give up. You’re the bravest, strongest person I’ve ever met. You can do anything you set your mind to, Mattie.”

“Stop it
! I won’t be able to leave you if you keep saying nice things like that,” I cry.

“Okay, how about this. Get away from me and don’t come back
,” he growls, but that makes me feel even worse than him saying the nice things. I throw myself into his arms, crying as I feel like my heart is being pulled out of my chest and someone is stomping on it.

He holds me to him
while I pray for a miracle.

“Can’t we just call it a night and see if you’re any better tomorrow?”

“I won’t get better that quickly, and there is still light, you should keep moving while you can,” he says, sounding reluctant. His grip around me doesn’t loosen and neither does mine from him.

“But I haven’t said everything I need to say to you.”

“Then say it to me now.”

“It’ll take me hours to say it all, maybe even days or weeks.” I wonder if he’ll let me talk to him for long enough for him to feel better.

“Then summarize it.”

“No
,” I state, knowing I sound difficult and upset.

“Mattie,”
he sighs, and I feel his breath hitting my neck. “What I was trying to say earlier, I meant every word. I don’t regret a thing, and I know I’m a better person for having known you. You mean everything to me, and knowing that you carry our child fills me with so much joy. You have taught me what love is, and I love you and this baby with all my heart.” He moves his hand between us, resting it over my stomach and the vest. He can’t possibly feel anything, I haven’t even gotten a pregnancy belly yet, however his gesture brings tears to my eyes.

“Please don’t make me do this,” I beg, not knowing if I’ll have the strength to walk away from him.

“I trust you and know you’ll do everything to protect our child. Even if it means you have to do something hard, something that you don’t want to. I know you’ll do everything to keep our baby safe.”

“Don’t do that
. Don’t make me feel guilty for not wanting to leave you.” My arms feel locked around him now; my legs wrapped around his middle to keep me against him. Even if I could be persuaded to leave him, I’m not sure I have enough control over my body to actually move away.

“You’re wasting time
, Mattie. Please—”

“When you came here looking for me, what was your plan? Where were we going to go?” I interrupt.

“I don’t know.”

“Were we just going to fly around? What about those people you had with you
; were they going to come with us?”

“They were with me to help you. If you were pregnant, they were going to help you through it, keep you healthy and help deliver the baby
,” he explains.

“And what should we call our baby? Do you have any ideas?” I lean against his chest, feeling his strong heartbeat under my ear.

“I hadn’t thought about it.”

“How did your parents come up with your name?”

“I’m named after my great-great-great-grandfather. We all have family names. It is an honour to take on their name. If you do something to dishonour our family, then the name stops with you.”

“So
, you’d want to call our baby something from your family?” I hold in my look of displeasure at the thought of doing that. If that is what Marduke wants, I will suck it up.

“No, that wouldn’t feel right. Our baby should have a fresh start and no expectations on their shoulders.”

I sigh in relief. “What name do you like?”

“Mattie, you really should
—”

“Please, just answer me. I need to have this conversation with you.” I grip his damp hoodie in my hands and squeeze it tightly, needing to relieve my frustration in some way.

He is silent for a few moments, and I fear that I have caused him to close up on me, but then I hear the rumble against his chest as he begins to speak.

“I like the name Rilour. It means freedom. I’d like our baby to be free.”

“Rilour,” I murmur the word, trying to get the foreign feel of it around my tongue.

“It was just a thought.
I would love any name you choose for our baby. As long as it is healthy and happy, I’ll always be happy.”

“Rilour… Riley for short? That works for a boy or a girl.” I repeat the name Riley in my mind a few more times and unlock one of my arms, placing my hand over Marduke’s
, which is still resting over my stomach. “Riley…” I breathe the name now, and it feels right.

“Yes, Riley
,” Marduke repeats, and it makes me feel happy and sad at the same time.

“And what do you think our life would have been like? Do you think
you would have been happy with just me and Riley?”

“
You would both have made me the happiest man alive. But I would have wanted to make more babies with you, many more.”

I am
torn between feeling horrified about the idea of
many more babies
and thrilled that we could have had a big family together.

“I’d have liked that with you. I’ve never been in love before, and I don’t think I’ll ever be in love again. You’re it for me
, Marduke. And you can trust me; I will take care of Riley, and I’ll make sure every day that I remind our baby of their brave, strong and amazing father. The man who stole my heart without me realising it, refused to give it back, and took the best care of it. My hero who saved my life on many occasions and made me feel happier and more alive than I’ve ever felt before.” My voice cracks and I take deep breaths, trying to calm down.

“Thank you,” Marduke whispers, his voice sounding hoarse. He removes his hand from my stomach and hugs me to him again, pulling away only enough so he can kiss away my tears, making his way to my waiting mouth where he consumes me.
His kiss speaks volumes to me. It is a kiss of love, of contentment, and sadly, one that is telling me goodbye.

“I love you
, Marduke.”

“I love you, too.”

Moving away from him is definitely the hardest thing I have ever had to do. That black hole I felt inside me when I first arrived on Roth—the one that started to heal when I was with Marduke—grows large and present again. However, it’s a darkness I can’t afford to slip into if I am supposed to be a good mother to Riley.

I crouch down and pick up piles of leaves, moving it over his legs
. I push him down, covering his chest, too. He knows what I’m doing, knows that I’m trying to hide him in case any creatures move past here. I’m sure not if it’ll be enough, and unfortunately, he won’t be able to run or fight back easily if he needs to. There is nothing I can do to protect him from a fire, though.

“Good bye and good luck, Marduke
,” I whisper to him, not sure if he can hear my words.

With him finally covered from view, tears pool down my face, my nose blocks and my throat tightens. I don’t turn back to look at him as I walk away. I won’t be strong enough to keep moving if I see him upset.

I pay attention to my surroundings, knowing I can’t exactly keep my promise to him. The air is still clear here and it’s possible the fire won’t make it this far out. If that is the case, then I could make it back to camp, find Hank and we could send people in here to get him. I just have to be quick and know where I am.

I
stomp my feet down heavily, hoping to leave a trail of destruction along the ground. I pull at twigs and tear my nails over the tree trunks covered in a green moss, leaving lines in the trunks and dirt and foliage under my nails.

I begin to jog, knowing Marduke will starve or die of dehydration if I don’t make it back in time. I’m not even going to consider if he runs into a creature or fire.

I haven’t moved far at all when I find something strange.

A twisted piece of metal. I stop to glance at it, knowing it’s out of place here. Up ahead
, I spot another piece of metal, and as I move closer to that piece, I find more scattered about.

A few more steps in
, and I discover a tube, which looks exactly like the kind Marduke and I were in when we crash landed back onto Roth.

When I move through the trees and find the area familiar, I know
I have reached where we crashed. If Marduke had been planning to treat me on that spaceship, then it means he had medical supplies. So if I can find any of them, maybe I can heal him, or at least help him so he can leave with me.