Rough Rider (13 page)

“Janice Lee Combes! You aren't actually going out dressed like
that
, are you?”

“It's Garrison, Mama. I don't know why you refuse to say it. It's only been my name for the past ten years.”

“You know I never liked that boy. Now that he's gone, you should change it back.”

“Don't be ridiculous,” Janice hissed. “And please don't talk like that in front of Cody.”

“Like what?” Cody asked.

“Nothing,” Janice replied with a sigh. She was back home for good now, Grady was gone, and Cody was growing up just fine, in spite of her occasional clashes with his doting grandmother about his father.

“You didn't answer my question either,” her mother persisted. “You aren't wearing
that
to work, are you?”

“She always dresses up in funny clothes for work, Grandma,” Cody said.

“This is not your conversation, Cody. Now eat your peas.”

Cody scowled at his plate. “I hate peas.”

“But you like Gram's chocolate cake, right?”

“Yeah.”

“No peas means no cake. I mean it.” Janice directed the threatening look first to Cody and then to her mother. “You've got to stop spoiling him.”

“It's my right as a grandma to spoil my only grandbaby. You still didn't explain why you're dressed like that.”

“Look, Mama, it's real simple. I'm working in a bar. Most of the patrons are men. Men like to look.” Janice made a small adjustment to her cleavage but wasn't about to go change. She was already running late. Besides, a small show of flesh meant much bigger tips.

“Well, it ain't decent.” Her mother huffed. “And I thought you were
looking
for ranch work.”

“I was and I still am, but no one's hiring hands right now and we've got bills to pay. Look, Mama, I don't have time to talk about this right now. I'm gonna be late. Be a good boy for Grams, Cody, and I'll see you in the morning.” She kissed the top of his head and grabbed her purse off the kitchen counter but then hesitated at the door, feeling a surge of guilt. Between the moving and her job search, she hadn't spent much time with her son. “Cody?”

“What, Mama?”

“I was thinking maybe we can do something special together this weekend? I know some great spots to go fishing. Would you like that?”

“Dunno.” He shrugged. “Never been fishing. I got invited to a friend's house. Can I go?”

“Who's the friend?” she asked.

“His name's Caleb Croft. They have horses. I've never ridden a horse either.”

Janice bit her lip, searching her memory. “I don't know any Crofts. Do you, Mama?”

“I do. They moved to town a few years back. Seem like nice enough folks. I think she's a teacher.”

“Librarian,” Cody corrected. “Caleb's mama works at the school.”

“Oh?” Janice said. “Then I s'pose it'll be all right, but I'll still want to meet them first. Call and ask Caleb when I can bring you out there. I gotta run now, sweetie. Bye, Mama,” Janice flung over her shoulder as she headed out the door.

Arriving at work twenty minutes later, Janice made a face in the mirror as she applied a shade of lipstick she never would have considered ten years ago. It seemed ironic, even laughable, how nothing in town had changed, while nothing about her would ever be the same.

In all truth, the last place Janice wanted to be was back in Twin Bridges, Montana, with her tail between her legs like some beaten-down dog. But that's exactly what she felt like—as desperate as a starving bitch with whelps to feed. Returning home was not what she'd planned, but as always, Janice did what Janice needed to do. Her family depended on it. They'd always depended on her and she'd never let them down. Not once.

The truth was the
only
person Janice had ever disappointed in her entire life was herself. Yes, she'd certainly let herself down—or better said—she'd let herself be beaten down. It should have made her happy to come back and make a new start, but she felt like a stranger in her hometown. She'd never been more terrified. Or more alone.

She reminded herself that all that mattered now was making a decent life for Cody, even if that meant aping a Hooters girl. Although they barely skated above the poverty line, at least they had a roof over their heads in a place where Cody could do all the things boys were meant to do—like ride horses and learn to hunt and fish. Hiking her breasts a little higher in her push-up bra, she left the ladies' room to clock in for her evening shift.

* * *

It was a slow night, even for a Thursday, when Wade Knowlton walked into the bar. The sight of him took her aback. She'd heard he'd had some trouble with booze following what folks called “the Rachel tragedy.” Janice had still been traveling the bull circuit when it had all happened, but she'd heard plenty of gossip about it. Their world was small—especially when the news concerned the Knowlton brothers. If only Rachel hadn't played them against each other, everything might have turned out differently. Given time and perspective, the whole situation was nothing short of heartbreaking.

Janice hoped Wade's appearance in the bar didn't mean he'd fallen back into old habits. God knew she was familiar enough with that vicious cycle. But contrary to her fears, Wade seemed perfectly at ease with the world, walking in with a grin and a pretty brunette that Janice didn't recognize.

He tipped his hat to the bartender, and then to several waitresses who lit up at the sight of him. Wade had that effect on lots of women. He was a damned good-looking man and a charmer to boot, but he'd never compared to Dirk in Janice's book.

Until now, she hadn't seen either of the Knowlton brothers. She wanted desperately to see Dirk again, but in the weeks since she'd been home, she hadn't yet worked up enough nerve to take the initiative. She was too uncertain of her reception. He'd been through so much and she feared her appearance would only resurrect bad memories. So she'd waited, banking her hopes that
he
would come to
her
, but so far those hopes hadn't paid off.

Janice's pulse sped up when Wade settled at a table in her section. Here was her chance at last, but she found her courage faltering. “Buck up, Janice. Who knows when you'll get another chance,” she mumbled to herself.

Armed with a bright smile, she approached their table. “Hey, Wade. Been a long time.”

He stared blankly for a few seconds, then recognition dawned. “Janice Combes? I'll be damned. I didn't know you were back in town.”

His reaction didn't surprise her. She hardly recognized herself anymore—either inside or out. Janice Combes had left Montana as a tall and gangly girl but the brown eyes that gazed back at her in the mirror were darkly shadowed from years of sleepless nights. She felt so much older than her barely thirty years. She also felt suddenly self-conscious.

“I never thought I'd set foot back here either, but I had nowhere else to go with my kid and all.” She always hated having to explain, but the subject inevitably came up along with all the awkward questions.

“I was sorry to hear about what happened to Grady.” Wade shook his head with a sympathetic look. “What a gruesome way to go.”

It
was
gruesome. The stuff of nightmares, but Janice didn't care to rehash all the sordid details. The papers and the
Cowboy
Sports
News
had already done that…and then some. The worst part of it was when her son discovered videos of it on YouTube. Cody would probably carry the scars his entire life. It was part of the reason she hadn't come home sooner. She hadn't wanted him to have to deal with the questions or the looks of pity. So they'd stayed in Vegas.

Although the anonymity of the city had been her shield, it was no place to raise a kid—especially a boy without a father—so they'd eventually packed up and come home to Montana. Maybe three years wasn't long enough for the scandal to die altogether, but at least now it was all old news.

“He knew as well as anyone that it was bound to happen sooner or later. With the bulls, it's never a question of
if
you're gonna get hurt—it's just when and how bad. Least he didn't suffer much. He never regained consciousness.” She shrugged, hoping Wade wouldn't ask any more about it, and that he'd interpret her terse response as stoicism rather than coldheartedness. After all this time, it was still hard to deal with, but at least she was free.

“I'm glad Dirk gave up rodeo, though the way it turned out for him, maybe joining the marines wasn't the best choice either,” Wade said.

“I haven't seen him around. How's he doing?” Janice asked in what she hoped was an offhand manner.

Wade shrugged. “As well as can be expected, I guess, but he hardly leaves the ranch.”

She wondered if he'd become some kind of recluse, but that seemed so out of character, she could hardly wrap her mind around it.

“You know about his injuries, don't you?”

“Yeah, I heard.” When she'd first learned about it, her heart had bled for him.

“He's changed a lot from what he was before.”

“I'd expect as much.” Janice knew she should leave the couple alone now, but she was almost desperate for more news about Dirk. She bit the bullet and asked, “He seein' anyone?”

“Dirk?” Wade shook his head. “Not to my knowledge.”

“Think he'd mind if I dropped by?”

“Don't know,” Wade replied. “But I think he could use some old friends—as long as you aren't put off by his surly, badass behavior.”

Janice almost laughed. “You're kidding, right? I'm not thin-skinned. Could never afford to be. You don't know what it's like to be a woman working the chutes with all those bulls and rough riders.” She'd spent the better part of a decade in the rodeos and bull-riding circuits, even though it now seemed like another person's life. “For the record, I can give every bit as good as I get.”

“Forgive me, Nikki,” Wade addressed the brunette who had been eyeing Janice with open curiosity. “This is—”

“Janice,” she supplied smoothly, extending her hand. “I grew up here and just recently moved back.”

“Nikki Powell from Atlanta.” The brunette briefly shook her hand.

“Welcome to Montana. First time?” Janice asked.

“Yes, and likely my last. Wade's helping me with some personal business. My father passed away.”

“Oh,” Janice replied, feeling awkward. “My condolences.”

“We just came from the mortuary,” Wade explained. “I thought she could use a drink.”

Janice forced another smile. “Then you came to the right place. What'll you have?”

“The usual for me. The bartender knows.” Wade looked to Nikki. “Sorry, I don't know your poison.”

“I'll take a shot of Patrón.”

“Salt and lime?” Janice asked.

“Of course,” Nikki said. “What?” she answered Wade's querying look. “You thought I'd order some girlie umbrella drink?”

“Yeah, it was pretty much what I expected over straight tequila.”

“This seemed like a tequila occasion,” Nikki replied.

“You are full of surprises.” Wade chuckled as Janice hustled away to fill their order.

“A shot of Patrón and the usual for Wade, whatever that is,” Janice told Moe, the bartender.

She was surprised when he went in the back and returned with a bottle of nonalcoholic beer. “I keep a case for him,” Moe said. “He's the only one around here who drinks this stuff.”

Janice returned within minutes with a foamy mug for Wade and a shot glass sporting a paper umbrella that she set in front of Nikki with a wink for Wade.

“I suppose this is a joke?” Nikki said, plucking out the umbrella.

Wade laughed, a low, warm rumble that ceased the second Nikki licked the back of her hand to apply the salt. She took the shot, in a single choking swallow, made a face, and then bit into the lime.

At first Janice also chuckled, but then a wave of fierce envy followed. They were hardly able to tear their eyes from each other. Was it so very long since she'd experienced that kind of attraction? It had been almost three years since she'd been with anyone. Yearning pierced her like a physical pain—not just for sex, but for intimacy.

She wondered if Wade would think to mention her to Dirk. Probably not. His mind was preoccupied with other things—pretty little brunette kinda things—and it looked like his interest was more than reciprocated. Judging by the way Wade later flung his money on the table and half carried her out the door, Nikki had certainly lit his fuse. By the looks of things, Wade was finally moving on. She was glad of it. At least one of them was getting their life back together. It gave her hope that maybe after three years of licking her wounds, she might be able to do the same.

Hours later when her shift ended, Janice was still thinking about Dirk. He continued to linger in her mind during the thirty minute drive home. Although she'd tried to move on, her heart had never belonged to anyone but Dirk Knowlton. She'd come back to Montana and so had he, but they were both damaged and broken. It was heartrending how many mistakes they'd both made, but the past couldn't be changed. The present was what counted. The here and now.

Dirk, by all accounts, was a shattered man. The question she intended to answer was whether his pieces could ever be put back together again.

Flying K Ranch, Montana

“Goddamnit!” Dirk hoisted the saddle onto his horse's back with a curse. “And double damn Wade!”

His brother had ridden out late yesterday afternoon after strays and still hadn't come back. He had a half-dozen animals missing and Wade was too busy screwing around with his new girlfriend to care—as if there wasn't already enough bad blood between him and his brother already. Had Wade not taken the girl with him, Dirk might even have been worried, but now he'd bet the whole friggin' ranch they were holed up in the cabin doing what he could only fantasize about.

The only reason he'd sent Wade after the cattle was his own difficulty riding. He used the ATV most of the time for cattle work, but there were a number of strays on the mountain and some of the cow paths were too treacherous and narrow to chance it with the ATV. He rarely rode a horse unless he had to. He couldn't do it like he used to, so he didn't want to do it at all.

Unfortunately, there were still a few occasions where riding was unavoidable. It was the only reason he kept horses at all. It wasn't just the mounting and dismounting that made it difficult, but the chance of a hang-up was a constant danger. Riding with a prosthetic leg was a royal pain in the ass. He supposed his stubborn pride was an even bigger pain in the ass, but that's just how it was.

If the missing cattle wasn't already enough to fire him up, Allie Evans had just shown up with another offer on the ranch. He'd thought the issue of selling out was laid to rest a week ago, but here was Allie back again. She might have Wade in her pocket, but she was wasting her breath if she thought to change Dirk's mind. He had a legacy to protect and he swore he'd do so with his very last breath. It wasn't just a matter of guilt on his part, it was a matter of honor.

The Flying K was all he had left.

He'd screwed up his life so many times and in so many ways that all he wanted was the opportunity to start over. Just one stinking chance to see if he could finally get it right—whatever-the-hell “it” was.

He was damned tired of just scraping by and barely surviving. Hell no, he wanted the Flying K to thrive again as it once had, as he knew it still could. While his neighbors continued to complain about the low prices they were getting for their Angus and Herefords, Dirk had researched everything he could get his hands on about Japanese Wagyu and what it would take to raise a herd. His ideas meant taking chances and facing mockery, but he didn't give a rat's ass what others thought. Montana ranching methods were steeped in old tradition but it was time to break out of the box or perish.

He knew he could turn things around but a new breeding program didn't happen overnight. It took time. Not weeks or months but
years
. It was also risky, but he knew in his gut it would pay off in the long run—if only his damned brother would have a little faith. But instead of supporting Dirk's ideas, he'd teamed up with Ms. Allison Fuck-Me-Pumps Evans to sell the place out from under him. Allison's unexpected arrival had also forced him to deal with his handicap head-on, which pissed him off even more.

Copenhagen shifted uneasily. They were decades-old trail partners and the horse was sensitive to Dirk's every mood. While only a few years ago he could have effortlessly vaulted onto the back of the most skittish and ill-mannered horse, now he only picked the veterans out of the paddock, the old-timers with patience—like Red Man and Copenhagen.

“S'all right, boy.” He soothed the animal and adjusted the saddle. Then, cursing his brother all the while, he swung himself up, positioning his prosthesis carefully in the custom-designed stirrup. He resented the hell out of having to drop everything to go up the mountain after Wade, but being honest, rage about Allie's appearance wasn't all that motivated him. He was equally eaten-up with envy. Wade had found himself a new woman and looked to be moving forward with his life, while everything Dirk was working for was slowly turning to shit.

* * *

It was Sunday. Three full days since Wade and Nikki had walked into the Pioneer—and three long and sleepless nights that Janice had waited for her silent phone to ring. Although she hadn't given Wade her number, Dirk would surely know how to find her if he was inclined to. Maybe he wasn't inclined? She quickly canned that thought, instead favoring the possibility that Wade had simply forgotten to mention her.

For weeks she'd struggled to come up with any plausible excuse just to “happen by” the Knowlton place, but so far nothing had come to her—neither had Dirk. Although the idea terrified her to the core, she was growing more convinced that she'd have to just cowgirl up and take the bull by the horns.
Bull?
The thought stopped her in her tracks.

How ironic that bulls would be her link to him. Dirk was a rancher said to be branching out into a new breed of beef cattle. How hard would it be to go out there and strike up some talk about his bulls? Maybe even ask about a job? She was a bit of an expert in that arena, after all.

She sank her teeth into her lip and looked at her watch. If she drove out to the Flying K now, she could visit an hour or two with the Knowltons and still be back in time for supper. Even if she was a bit late, Mama would surely watch over Cody until her return.

She'd taken him to Caleb's house early this morning to ride horses. It'd been years since he'd been on one, but he was too young at the time even to remember it. They'd once kept a number of ranch horses for moving cattle, but the stock had been sold off long ago to pay medical bills and the bulk of the property had soon followed. Little good it had done. The cancer had not only eaten her father alive—it had taken his entire life savings. After the bills were paid only the old farmhouse and five acres remained of the original two-section homestead. Things had gone south real fast after that.

She'd realized too late that she was only an insurance policy to Grady. He'd married her in hopes of getting the ranch, but no one had counted on the bill collectors getting it instead. The ranch sale marked the beginning of the end of their marriage, or maybe better said, it was the nail in the coffin. At one time she was desperate to save her sinking marriage, even though she'd been bailing buckets out of it almost from the start. She'd wed Grady for all the wrong reasons but had hoped to make it work anyway. On that account she was also wrong.

Horribly. Horribly. Wrong.

She hadn't loved Grady. He hadn't loved her either. Nevertheless, she'd somehow managed to keep it together for Cody's sake. In the end, there was no saving it and no saving
him.
Now Grady was gone, but she couldn't shed any more tears. She'd wasted too many while he lived.

But the nightmare was finally over. She was safe from all the dirty secrets she'd struggled to keep hidden from the world. Now free of all that, she longed for a second chance to see what might have been. She'd lived too damned many years with what-ifs not to see this thing through once and for all. There was so damned much history and hurt to overcome, but she wasn't about to live out the rest of her life with added regrets.

That's right, Janice. Now or never. Just do it before you lose your nerve.

With her pulse racing, Janice shed her ratty sweats and pulled on her best ass-hugging Wranglers. Maybe she wasn't the lanky cowgirl she'd once been, but a lot of men preferred curves on a woman. Today, however, she was unable to decide whether she should emphasize or downplay. She didn't want to send the wrong message.

In the end, she settled for something in between, donning a fitted Western blouse in a turquoise shade that suited her well. She always tried to stick to blues and greens. She had Rachel Carson to thank for that. After dressing, Janice dug into the back of her closet for her only pair of dress boots—the worn pair of Old Gringos she'd spent eight hundred dollars on at Cheyenne Frontier Days a decade ago. She had Rachel to thank for that purchase too.

The boots represented the biggest act of self-indulgence in Janice's entire life, and one she'd never repeat. Although wearing them always invoked bittersweet memories, she'd never been able to bring herself to throw them away. Instead, she'd resoled them three times. Although they'd both seen some hard times, like the boots, Janice had held together all these years—even if sometimes by a thread.

* * *

Two hours later and halfway up the mountain, Dirk was still seeing red. Arriving at the spike camp and finding Wade's horses picketed outside had him ready to rip his brother a new one. Dirk tethered Copenhagen and approached the cabin, forcing himself to count slowly to ten but only making it as far as eight before he slammed his fist into the door. He didn't wait for an answer. The single knock was as much courtesy as his brother was going to get.

He shoved the door open with a thud, his blood pressure skyrocketing as he took in the scene—scattered clothing, two bodies huddled together in a single sleeping bag. It was exactly as he'd thought. He braced himself in the doorway with a glower while the startled couple disengaged and scrambled for their clothes. “Just fucking great, Wade. You told me you were going to bring down the strays. Instead, I come all the way up here to find you two knocking boots!”

Wade yanked on his jeans and tossed Nikki his shirt before stepping toward the door, blocking her from Dirk's view. “What the hell are you doing up here? I told you we'd bring them down, and we will.”

“I'm playing the messenger boy for Allison Evans, that's what. Seems she has a new offer on the table and
needs
you, Wade. She won't go into it with anyone else.”

“What's he talking about? Who's Allison Evans?” Nikki asked Wade.

“He hasn't a friggin' clue what he's blabbering about,” Wade replied. “Allison is my partner's daughter. She's the ranch broker I've been working with. This is business, Nikki. Plain and simple.”

“Plain and simple?” Dirk laughed outright. “Yeah, you just tell yourself that, little bro. Hell, it seems to me with such a fierce competition for that dick of yours, we should pin a blue ribbon on it.”

“Shut the hell up, Dirk!” Wade snapped. “And get out!”

“You done fucking then?”

Wade's expression darkened. “I'm warning you, one more word and my fist is going to get mighty familiar with your face.”

Dirk felt his body stiffen at the clear call to arms, but tamped down the explosion that was threatening to erupt. After considering how he would have reacted had the boot been on the other foot, he forced himself to back off. He then turned and stalked out.

He was already on his horse when Wade followed a few minutes later. At least he was saved the indignity of an audience as he struggled to mount up.

“What the fuck was that all about?” Wade demanded. “What possessed you to run your mouth off about Allie in front of her?”

Dirk shrugged. “Figured she'd be better off knowing now than getting ambushed back at the house. You should thank me. I saved you from having to deal with a big cat-scratching scene.”

“You think you saved me?” Wade threw a saddle on his horse. “You're a class-A asshole, you know that, Dirk?”

“Maybe, but I'm also right. What do you think will happen when Fuck-Me-Pumps—”

“Quit calling her that—”

“—gets an eyeful of Peaches?”

“It's not like that. I've never promised Allie anything and never expected anything in return.”

“Yeah, right,” Dirk scoffed. “Not even her daddy's law practice?”

“You really think I'd use her like that?”

“What I think is that you're kidding yourself if you think Allie don't have designs on
you
. And my money says she's gonna make that pretty damn clear the moment you ride up with Peaches in tow.”

“There's nothing serious between Allie and me. Our relationship has always been mostly business.”

“Business with benefits? Hell, if that's the deal you have going, where do I sign up?”

“Jackass.” Wade pulled himself onto his horse.

“Just calling your bullshit. She's not my type.”

“Yeah, I recall your type all right—other men's wives.”

Dirk's knuckles whitened around the reins. The reference to Rachel was a damn low blow. They'd avoided any talk of her for over three years. Wade's marriage had failed and she was gone. He knew the guilt ate at Wade, but it seemed easier for his brother to make accusations than to shoulder the blame for the death of his wife and unborn child. But Dirk had let it ride long enough. “It's time to pull your head out of your ass, brother. That's not how it was, and I think deep down you know it.”

“She never wanted me. She wanted you,” he accused.

“That doesn't mean anything happened. It ended between Rachel and me ten years ago.”

“If that's true, why did she turn to you instead of me?”

“You refused to make time for her, so she played us against each other just like she always did. It was her juvenile effort to get your attention.”

“Sure looked like more than that to me.” Wade spun around and spurred his horse up the mountain.

Dirk mumbled another curse. He'd said his piece. There was nothing more he could do to convince a brother who wanted to believe the worst.

They rode the next hour in an edgy silence, looking for any sign of the stray cattle but finding only dried-up dung piles. They followed the dung trail farther up the mountain until Wade's horse unexpectedly shied. “What the hell's wrong with you, Skoal?”

The wake of turkey buzzards, closely followed by the putrid assault of decaying flesh, provided the answer. Wade made to dismount but Dirk stalled him with his rifle raised. “I despise the ugly mothers.” Aiming into the cluster of birds, he fired to clear the view of the rotting carcass.