Rough Rider (21 page)

“Bed looks real comfortable.” He bounced lightly a couple of times. “Feels comfortable too. Seems a shame to waste it.”

Her brows scrunched together. “You saying you want to stay?”

“The room's ours for the night,” he replied, “but the choice is yours, Red.”

She chewed her lip. “I would like to stay, but I'd need to be home before Cody gets up for school.”

“OK with me, as long as you don't mind getting up at a hellacious hour to drive back.”

She smiled. “I don't mind as long as you're planning to join me in that bed.”

“I don't intend to sleep in the chair.”

“But you're still dressed,” she observed.

“Yeah,” he said. “I'm well aware of that.”

“You gonna undress?”

The idea had him feeling twitchy. “I'd rather not.”

“Time to cowboy up, Dirk. I'm not giving you a choice.”

“Why are you pushing it?” he asked.

“I told you your injuries don't bother me, but I know you don't believe me. I need you to know that I can handle it. This is about trust, Dirk. Now lie down.” She pushed him backward onto the bed.

He was uncomfortable as hell with the idea but still too dazed and spent to make much protest when Janice knelt and pried off his left boot. She then grabbed the heel of the right.

“No,” he said. “The right one stays on with the prosthesis.”

“Then how do I do this?” she asked.

“I take the jeans down first and then off with the leg.”

“Oh. Then you'll need to lift your hips,” she commanded, already tugging at his jeans.

Dirk sighed and then lay back, hands behind his head, staring up at the ceiling, grim-faced, letting her draw them down over his thighs to just above the knee—or where his knee used to be. He didn't want to see her expression when she got a good look at his stump. He shut his eyes, forcing himself to relax, but held his breath, acutely attuned to every movement and every sound. It was a major struggle to lie there, to just give himself up to her.

“How do I remove this?” Her hands stroked down his thigh to the top of the silicone sleeve that attached his prosthesis.

He reached down to roll the sleeve off his thigh, but she laid her hands over his.

“Please. Let me do it. Just tell me how it works.”

“The leg's held on by suction. Roll down the silicone sleeve and it'll detach.”

She did as he instructed, and the device came free. A moment later, his jeans were off and then his boxers followed. He released the air from his lungs on a long hiss, but was almost afraid to open his eyes. His chest was tight and his heartbeat pounded in his ears. Other than what little was still covered by his unbuttoned shirt, his entire scarred and mutilated body was now bared to her view. He'd never felt more exposed…or more vulnerable.

He sat up abruptly, tore off the shirt, and threw it at her. “Satisfied?” he growled. His gaze darted to her face, but rather than the disgust he'd expected and had prepared himself for, she was grinning back at him.

“Hardly,” she replied. “But I'm hoping you'll take care of that as soon as you've had enough time to recover. Maybe I can help you with that?” She cocked a brow.

Her suggestive look had his spent dick stirring instantly back to life.

“No need,” he replied. “C'mere.” He beckoned her closer, drew her down to him, and kissed her passionately. He cupped her ass in both hands. “Straddle me.”

She dropped the dress and climbed onto the bed. His erection reared up rock-hard between them as her knees sank into the mattress on either side of his hips. She pitched forward, raising up to mount him, but he stopped her. Although he wanted inside her something fierce, he held her back. “Not yet,” he said.

“What's wrong?” Her brown eyes widened in surprise.

“Nothing's wrong. I want you to touch yourself. I want to watch you get off.”

“Why?” Her brow wrinkled.

He knew he was pushing her comfort zone, but she'd already blasted clean through his.

“Because it excites the hell out of me, Red…because I asked you to. Does that make you uncomfortable?” He knew Grady had put her through a lot of shit. It made him wonder where her limits were. How far
she
trusted him.

It was a moment before she answered. “No, Dirk, it doesn't as long as this is just between you and me. No cameras. No videos.”

“No, Red. I'm not into that kinda shit,” he reassured her, breathing easier as the uncertainty passed from her eyes. “This is only about us. It's all just between you and me.”

* * *

Janice sensed that he was intentionally testing her, trying to make her feel as exposed and vulnerable as he felt, but she wasn't about to retreat. She'd told him before that it was gonna be all or nothing. If he wanted a show, she'd give him one.

She leaned forward to kiss him, using her breasts and hips to tease him as she dragged her body slowly up his. Her mouth sought his hungrily, but she didn't prolong the kiss, instead withdrawing from it the moment he would have pulled her deeper in. Wordlessly, she brushed her fingers over his damp lips.

His blue gaze darkened in instant understanding. He caught her hand, drawing her fingers into his mouth one at a time, licking and sucking and then slowly releasing. He watched with a spine-tingling intensity as Janice cupped her breast with one hand, toying with her nipple as her other hand crept down her belly toward her nest of short curls.

“Oh yeah, just like that, sweetheart,” he murmured hoarsely. His pupils flared when she dipped into the wet folds of her cleft.

Feeling increasingly shy and embarrassed, she shut her eyes but continued to stroke and tease herself until her body quivered with the first tiny orgasmic tremors. Throbbing to feel him inside her, filling her, she rubbed her mons up and down his shaft.

He gripped her hips almost painfully tight. His hip bucked beneath her, but he still held back. “Don't stop.”

She squeezed her lids tighter, imagining him pumping into her. Her climax hit like a tsunami. She let loose a low moan, rocking her hips rhythmically as it washed over her in breathless waves. She opened her eyes to find him staring up at her with a ravenous look.

“Holy shit.” His voice was low and gravelly. “Do you have any idea how hot that was? How hot
you
are?” He pulled her down for a long, deep kiss that sent a series of aftershocks resonating through her.

“Please, Dirk. I need
you
,” she whispered urgently. She wrapped her hand around him, guiding him toward her aching core, dragging his shaft through her wetness. Holding him primed at her entrance, she slid her hips slowly forward and back, then circling and teasing until he emitted a long groan that made his body quake beneath her. But just when she thought he'd finally lose it, he usurped control from her.

The next thing she knew, she was trapped beneath him, his arms caging her head and his mouth devouring hers. They gasped in unison when he entered her in a single, breath-catching thrust.

She wrapped her legs tightly around his flanks, urging him deeper. “Please don't stop. Don't ever stop.”

* * *

Hours later, Dirk found himself once more staring at the ceiling. He couldn't remember the last time he felt so content…or so confused. In just a few short days, she'd turned him upside down and inside out.

Her head rested on his shoulder and his left arm had gone completely numb, but he didn't want to chance waking her. He glanced down to find her gazing up at him with a sleepy smile. “What are you thinking?”

“I'm trying not to,” he said. “Thinking seems a highly overrated activity compared to others.”

“Yeah, you might be right about that.” She chuckled and then rolled on top of him, plying soft kisses to his face. She then worked her way lower, trailing her fingers and mouth over the various scars on his body.

He winced under her touch.

“You don't like that?” she asked.

“It's still uncomfortable for me,” he admitted.

“I'm sorry, Dirk, but I'm afraid you're just gonna have to get used to my hands on your body.”

Janice had a habit of pushing him too hard and too fast, but she also held nothing back. For the past four years he'd believed he could never have a normal life again. Now he wondered if that was true. He'd also told himself he'd never find a woman who'd accept him without reservation, but by the looks of things, it seemed he might have been wrong about that too.

* * *

Morning came way too fast for Janice. The only saving grace was that they checked out early enough that she was spared the walk of shame she'd dreaded the night before. They drove home in a thought-filled silence broken only when they stopped for coffee at a drive-through. Had Dirk not held her hand on his thigh for almost the entire drive, she might have worried about his lack of conversation, but they both needed the quiet time to digest, and to adjust. Their night together had changed everything, had put their relationship on new ground. Now they both had to regain their footing.

The sun was only starting to crest the horizon when Dirk pulled up in front of the house. She was glad to see the lights were still off. Hopefully, she'd have time to sneak upstairs and change before her mother or Cody caught sight of her. Janice reached for the door, but Dirk pulled her back. “Guess this one's for good morning instead of good night.” His lips met hers in a slow and tender kiss. He released her with a smile. “Will I see you later?”

“I'm working at the Pioneer the next two days, but I'll be out on Sunday with Cody…that is, if the offer is still open.”

His brows drew together. “Why wouldn't it be?”

She replied with a nervous shrug. “Didn't know if you might need some time alone…after everything.”

His frown deepened. “You saying that for my benefit or yours, Red?”

“I don't have any regrets if that's what you're asking.”

“Yeah. It is what I was asking.”

“None, Dirk, but I don't know where this puts us.”

“I don't either,” he replied. “One step at a time, remember?”

“Yeah.” She gave a nervous laugh. “But last night seems like a Neil Armstrong kind of step.”

“It was at that.” He grinned. “Noon Sunday then?”

“Yeah. I'll be there.” Their eyes met briefly and then Janice let herself out.

By Sunday, Dirk was almost aching to see Janice. It'd only been two days since they'd spent the night together, not that they'd done much sleeping. Now by comparison, his own bed seemed cold and way too empty. He was growing in the certainty that he wanted her with him every night—but Janice came complete with a kid.

He hadn't even considered
that
aspect of a potential relationship…until now. Was he really prepared to take on a ready-made family? A month ago, he would have said no friggin' way, but now? A lot of things had changed in the short time since Janice walked into his life.

He was leading Red Man out of the corral toward the hitching post when her old red Dodge pulled into the yard. Almost before she'd cut the ignition, a redheaded kid in a cowboy hat bound out of the truck.

“Cody Garrison!” Janice jumped out behind him. “You get yourself back here!”

“He's all right,” Dirk said, unable to suppress a chuckle at the kid's exuberance.

“I'm afraid he's been like this for hours,” Janice apologized. “He's near bursting with excitement and pestered me almost incessantly about coming out here since the minute he woke up this morning.”

“Hey, Cody.” Dirk stepped toward the boy and extended his hand. “'Member me?”

“Not exactly…well, maybe…I think I saw your picture with my daddy.” Cody stepped back and scrunched his face. “But you look real different from the pictures I seen. What happened to your face?”

“Cody!” Janice gasped. “Oh my God, Dirk, I'm so sorry!”

Dirk shrugged it off. “Kids tend to speak their minds. There's nothing wrong in that. It was an explosion that burnt my face,” he answered Cody. “Same one that took my leg.”

Cody's eyes grew impossibly wide. “What do you mean? You got a fake leg?”

“Yup,” Dirk said and lifted his jeans just over his boot top.

“Cool!” Cody exclaimed. “Does it come off?”

“Cody,” Janice cried again, her face and neck coloring.

“Yeah, I take it on and off,” Dirk answered. “It's got microprocessors and batteries that need to recharge every night—kinda like Iron Man's suit.”

“Can I see it when you take it off?”

“I s'pose sometime,” Dirk replied noncommittally.

“My daddy was a bull rider,” Cody announced, puffing his chest proudly.

“Your daddy was a
world
champion
bull rider,” Dirk corrected.

“Were you a bull rider, too?”

“I was once,” Dirk said.

“I want to ride bulls.”

“Do you now?”

“Yeah. Can you teach me?” Cody asked.

Dirk looked to Janice who shook her head. “I never knew he had the least interest in it. He's never said anything about it to me until now. Never.”

“Maybe he was waiting for the right time and place to speak up about it. I s'pose I could teach you,” Dirk answered Cody, “but let's start with the horse for now. You'll find they're a lot more cooperative than bulls. C'mon. Red Man's been waiting on you. Janice, why don't you go in and visit with my mother? Cody and I will join you when dinner's ready.”

“But—” Janice protested.

“No buts,” Dirk said. “This is guy time. No females allowed.”

“Yeah.” Cody beamed and repeated, “Guy time. Sorry, Mom.”

Janice still hesitated.

“Go,” Dirk commanded. “Cody and I need to get acquainted. 'Sides, he's gonna take instruction a lot better if you're not here. Give us an hour or so, then come back out to watch him ride.”

“All right,” she huffed.

Dirk watched her trudge off toward the house.

His curiosity about the prosthetic apparently satisfied, Cody asked him, “Can I meet your Leopard dogs too?”

“Sure, when we're done with Red Man here. Your mom says you've been riding with a friend?”

“Yup. A horse named Slug. He's old and don't go very fast.”

“Red Man's getting up in age too, but he's still got enough piss and vinegar to go when you ask him to.”

“How old is he?” Cody asked.

“He was born when I was about your age, so I guess that makes him about twenty-three now. I had one that looked just like him before that, a sorrel named Buckshot. C'mon. We're done jawing. Let's go into the barn and I'll show you how to get this horse saddled up.”

* * *

Janice couldn't help feeling a little hurt when Dirk summarily dismissed her, but she knew he had a point. Cody would have been far too distracted had she hung around. Still, she couldn't help being anxious because Dirk hadn't been around many kids. He'd surprised her with the patient way he'd handled Cody's questions though. She reassured herself that they'd seemed to hit it off just fine.

“Hey, Janice.” Donna Knowlton greeted her with a smile. “Come on in. I just made a pot of coffee.”

Janice followed Donna to the kitchen where she sat at the breakfast bar while Donna poured out two cups. “Where's your son and your mama?” Donna asked.

“Cody's outside getting acquainted with Dirk and Red Man. Mama's still feeling under the weather.”

“I'm sorry to hear that.” Donna's brows met with a look of concern. “Is she OK?”

“I honestly don't know.” Janice shook her head and stirred her coffee. “She says it's just her arthritis, but we're gonna talk when I get back. I think keeping the place up is way too much for her. Besides that, the old house needs repairs we can't afford. I know she'd considered moving up to Helena before Cody and I came home. She has a widowed cousin who has a nice place in one of those high-end retirement communities. She invited Mama to move in, but I think she's stayed here for Cody and me. Now I feel guilty about it. I thought things would work out for all of us once I got here, but it's been a lot harder than I expected.”

“Times are tough for a lotta folks,” Donna replied sympathetically. “We were considering selling our place as well, but it looks like Dirk might finally be able to turn things around
if
I can only keep Wade and Justin out of his way.”

“So you believe in Dirk's new breeding program?”

“I do, but Wade wants nothing to do with ranching anymore, and my husband's too set in his ways to give Dirk the free rein he needs to make a go of it. With any luck, Justin and I will be wintering in Arizona this year, which will give Dirk a free hand to do things exactly as he sees fit without Justin's well-meaning interference. He'll need help though. He can't run the place by himself.” She gave Janice a thoughtful look. “How's it working out between the two of you?”

Janice diverted her gaze into her cup. Her relationship with Dirk wasn't exactly a secret from his family, but she wasn't ready to talk about it, especially with his mother. “I don't know. Has
he
said anything about it?”

“No.” Donna laughed. “He wouldn't, but I have eyes in my head. You've been good for him, Janice. I can't tell you how different he's been. I even caught him whistling once. If that isn't proof of a Knowlton man in love, I don't know what is. Justin only whistles after…well…” She gave a slow sly smile. “Let's just say, only when he's particularly…content.” Donna winked.

Janice flushed from her neck to her hairline. “I'm just taking this one day at a time.”

“Smart girl.” Donna nodded.

Janice drained her coffee cup and glanced out the window. “I'm a bit anxious about how it's going with Dirk and Cody.”

“Then why don't we go out and see?” Donna suggested. “I need to call Justin in to clean up for dinner anyway. He always loses track of time when he's tinkering in the workshop.”

“But I promised Dirk I'd stay away for an hour,” Janice said. “He thinks Cody won't listen as well if I'm there. He's probably right.”

“Well that doesn't mean we can't watch them unobserved for a few minutes,” Donna said. “Come and sit on the back porch with me. We might not be able to hear everything, but we can see the corrals just fine from there.”

“If you're sure we won't get caught.”

“I'm sure. I kept tabs on my boys for years unnoticed. They didn't get away with half the things they thought they would.”

Cody was already on the horse, sitting solid as a rock and trotting circles around Dirk who looked on with an expression of approval. The sight of them together filled Janice with emotions she couldn't even name.

At Dirk's nod, Cody nudged the horse into an easy lope.

“Will you look at that!” Janice declared, but Donna didn't answer. She glanced at the other woman to find her leaning heavily on the porch rail. Her face had visibly paled.

“Are you OK, Donna?” Janice asked.

“No, Janice. I don't think I am,” Donna murmured in reply. “Please excuse me. I need to go inside for a moment.”

“Should I get Dirk? Or Mr. Knowlton?” Janice asked in growing alarm.

“No. I'll be fine. I—I just need a minute.”

Janice had never seen Donna Knowlton so discomposed. As soon as Donna left her, Janice descended the porch steps, heading toward the corral in rapid, ground-eating strides.

“Mama, I loped the horse,” Cody exclaimed. “Mr. Dirk says I'll earn my spurs in no time.”

“That's wonderful, Cody! I'm so proud of you,” Janice declared, then slanted an anxious gaze to Dirk. “I'm worried about your mother. She seems to have taken ill all of a sudden. She got real pale and quiet. Does she have any heart problems or anything like that?”

“Not that I'm aware of. Shit! Where is she?” Dirk demanded.

“In the house. I think maybe you should go and check on her. I'll take care of Cody and Red Man.”

Dirk looked like he wanted to vault over the panels but then thought twice. “Go get my father, would you?” He was out the gate and jogging toward the house before she could even reply.

* * *

“Mama! Where the hell are you?” Dirk opened the door with a bellow.

She was slowly descending the stairs, her hand tightly gripping the banister and her face unusually pale. He bounded up the stairs as fast as his C-Leg would allow. “Are you OK?”

“I am now. I've just had a bit of a shock is all.”

“What do you mean? What kind of shock?”

“I need to sit down, Dirk…and so do you.”

He led her to the sofa and lowered himself beside her. “Damn it all, Mama. Tell me what's wrong.”

“Take a look at this.” She produced a Polaroid photo. It was Dirk as a kid in hat and boots smiling at the camera from atop his favorite horse, Buckshot.

“It's me and Buckshot. What of it?”

“Can't you
see
it?” she demanded.

“See what?”

“My God! The resemblance can't be denied. That boy out there is the spitting image of you!”

“Impossible. You're seeing things, Mama.” His chest constricted even as he spoke the denial.

“How old is Cody?” she demanded.

“He'll be ten soon. In March I think,” Dirk choked out his answer while counting months backward.
Holy
fuck. It couldn't be!

“Were you and Janice ever… Did you and she…”

He could barely hear her anymore over the roar in his ears. He shoved the photo into his pocket, pushed off the sofa, and banged out the door. He was halfway across the yard when he met his father and Janice hurrying toward the house.

“She's fine,” he answered his father's look of alarm.

“Thank you, Jesus!” Justin exhaled.

Dirk dug his keys out of his pocket and headed toward his truck. He didn't even trust himself to
look
at Janice.

She trailed after him. “Where are you going?”

“Not now, Red.” He kept walking.

“Please!” She latched onto his arm. “You've got to tell me what's wrong?”

He shook her off, snatched the Polaroid out of his shirt pocket, and shoved it in her face.

“I don't understand.” Janice frowned at the picture, her forehead wrinkling. “It looks just like my son, but how could you have a picture of Cody?”

“That ain't Cody.”

“Then who…” She looked up at him with brown eyes growing fearfully wide. “Oh my God. It can't be…”

“You got some major explaining to do, Red, but I can't trust myself to hear it right now.”

“Let go, Dirk,” she whispered. “You're hurting me.”

He released the arm he hadn't realized he'd taken hold of. “That so?” he hissed. “Well, I can barely fucking breathe.”

* * *

Dirk headed straight to the Stockman, the only watering hole in Twin Bridges, settling into a corner and ordering a bottle of Pendleton. He'd knocked back several shots of the whiskey and was already halfway to shit-faced when his brother walked in. “What the hell are you doing here?” Dirk sneered over his glass.

Wade straddled a chair with a shrug. “They say misery likes company, and since you're one miserable sonofabitch, here I am.”

“Thought you went back to Bozeman,” Dirk remarked after a time.

A pretty waitress in a low-cut top came to take Wade's drink order. “Nothing for me, thanks.” He waved her away and then pushed back his hat. “I did for a few days, but I've got a court date in Virginia City tomorrow, so when Mama called to say she was making a brisket, I drove down a day early. As it turns out, most of Sunday dinner went to those ugly dogs of yours. Seems no one but them had much appetite.”

Dirk threw back another shot. “You see Janice?”

“Briefly,” Wade replied. “She left almost the minute I got there. Can't say I blame her. She was pretty distraught.”

“
She
was distraught?” Dirk gave a derisive snort. “I just found out she had my kid and never even told me! How could she lie about something like that…to me…to Grady. I still can't fucking believe this!” Dirk shook his head.