Rough Terrain (Vista Falls #1) (11 page)

“I thought I was once. He asked me to marry him, but I couldn’t say yes. That’s when I knew it wasn’t love. I was with him because it was easy, convenient. He was a great guy, a good friend, but he wasn’t the love of my life, you know?”

“Yeah, I do know.” He knew all about looking for and never finding the person who could make him forget his first love. “You’re not supposed to find the love of your life at fifteen, are you? I mean, that’s just crazy, right?” He chuckled, suddenly uneasy about broaching that topic. He didn’t know if time had dulled her feelings for him. Back then, she’d told him she would never love anyone else. But that was a lifetime ago. They’d both grown up, changed.

“It happens.” She licked her lips. “I’m sure we wouldn’t be the first ones.”

At least he wasn’t alone in believing what they’d had was special.

“You ever catch yourself wondering what our life would have been like now if we’d kept Nick and raised him ourselves?”

“Of course I have.” She sighed as she looked at the stars. “We’d be the parents of a teen. From everything I’ve heard, that’s not easy.”

“Maybe we’d have had more kids. You think?”

“Probably.” She smiled. “Assuming one of us didn’t run away or try to kill the other inside the first year.”

Wes laughed, thinking about some of the intense fights they’d had when they’d been stubborn, opinionated teens themselves. “We were way too young for the kind of love we found. Just think about it. Nick’s about the same age now that we were when we met. I don’t even know the kid, yet I know I wouldn’t want him to get tangled up in anything that intense right now.”

“You’re right.” She leaned forward, reaching for her mug before sitting back with her hands curled around it. “Maybe if we’d met in college instead, we would have been more mature, better prepared for what happened.”

“My mother told me that I need to forgive your parents.” He knew this would be a sore subject, but he was sick and tired of running from the truth. “I’d never even considered that a possibility until now.”

“What happened to change your mind?” she asked, watching him over the rim of her cup.

“I put myself in your old man’s place. I haven’t even raised Nick, so it’s crazy to say that I love and want to protect him, but I do. I wouldn’t want him to meet the love of his life now, and I sure as hell wouldn’t want him to get her pregnant. So maybe seeing things from a dad’s perspective helps me to understand the way yours was feeling when he pressured you into following through with the adoption.”

She released a long, slow breath as he lit the candle that was supposed to help keep the bugs at bay. “He said that I had dreams, and he was right. Since I was a little girl, I’d always loved books. You know school was my thing. I’d always thrived in academics. I couldn’t wait to go to college and study classic literature and…” She shook her head. “And my father reminded me that if I had the baby, my life would revolve around him. And you. He said I’d eventually wind up hating my life and resenting the two people I loved most. He said he didn’t want that for me.”

“Do you believe that he was being as selfless as he claimed, only thinking about what was best for you?”

“Not really. I wanted to be a writer, and he wanted me to get a business degree. I think he always hoped that I’d come back here and run the dealership since my brother made it clear he wanted no part of it.”

“Have you ever thought about selling it?”

“That’s the plan,” she admitted. “I told my parents I’d run it and do my best to make it profitable so that at least we’d have a prayer of attracting a buyer. But you know how it is in a small town like this. People either don’t have the money or don’t want the stress of trying to keep a small business afloat, especially during tumultuous economic times.”

“So you’ll have to go on running it indefinitely if you don’t get a buyer?” Wes hated the idea of her trading in her dreams for someone else’s. It didn’t seem fair.

“It’s not like I have a choice. My father’s medical bills and rehab after the stroke weren’t cheap. The cost to maintain that house they live in, not to mention their vacation properties, and paying my brother’s tuition is a lot. Someone has to make sure there’s enough to cover it all.”

“The burden shouldn’t fall on your shoulders. It’s not right.”

“It’ll be easier when my brother’s finished school. Maybe if we haven’t sold the business by then, I’ll at least be able to hire an assistant manager and cut back on my hours so I can write some more. Anyway, enough about me,” she said, shaking her head. “Have you thought about our meeting with Nick, how we’ll handle his questions?”

“We’ll be honest with him,” Wes said, thinking that was the only option. “We’ll offer to answer any questions he has. Tell him we don’t expect anything from him but would like to be there for him any way we can.” He studied Sage while she nodded slowly. “What’s wrong? You don’t agree?”

“No, I do. I was just thinking about how I would feel in his position, the questions I’d want to ask.”

“I’m sure he’s as curious about us as we are about him.”

“Do you think he’ll ever want to come here to see us—you know, see where we live, where we grew up? Maybe even meet our families, his family?” She rubbed her forehead. “I probably shouldn’t say that, should I? He has his own family. It could be dangerous to start thinking of him as part of our family—”

“He is a part of us,” Wes said, inching his iron chair closer to hers. “He always will be.” He rested his elbow on the table and curled his warm hand around her cheek when she leaned in to meet him. “And it’s okay to be scared. I am. And I’m sure he is too.”

He was dying to kiss her, but once he crossed that line, he couldn’t claim they were just friends trying to see each other through an emotional minefield. They’d have acknowledged a romantic interest that would introduce a whole new set of complications he didn’t think either of them needed or wanted. Especially now, when they were on the verge of reuniting with their son.

“You know what I’m thinking about right now?” she whispered, her eyes traveling over his face.

“Tell me.”

“I’m wondering why you haven’t kissed me.”

He drew a shaky breath, half chuckling as he struggled to find an answer that would make sense. “Believe me, it’s not that I don’t want to.”

“But…?”

“Do we really want to complicate things right now?” he asked, rubbing his thumb over her cheek. “Shouldn’t our focus be on Nick and trying to establish a relationship with him?”

“Yeah, you’re right.” She pushed her chair back, clearing her throat. “I’m just going to get these things inside before the bugs start swarming. Excuse me.”

He knew she was embarrassed by what she perceived as his rejection, so he gave her the space she needed as he wondered whether he’d just made a huge mistake.

***

Wes hadn’t heard from Sage since their dinner at her house, so he sent her a text to let her know he’d pick her up from her place around five so they could drive to Brock together. She’d texted back to let him know she’d see him then. No emoji. No indication of what she was thinking or feeling, whether she was scared or nervous, having any second thoughts or regrets. It was driving him crazy.

“Hey, man,” Colt said, strolling into his office. “I need to get the hell out of here for a while. How ‘bout we go out on the water for a few hours, see if the fish are biting?”

Wes knew his friend had probably made the suggestion for his benefit, knowing that he was counting down the hours until he met Nick. He had a ton of work beckoning, but his concentration was shot to hell. “Yeah, that sounds good.”

“I put some gear in my truck, so we’re good to go,” Colt said as they walked through the front door of their single-story factory on their way to the parking lot.

“You were pretty sure I’d say yes, huh?” Wes asked. He stopped at his truck to grab his polarized sunglasses and a baseball cap. Since they never dressed up for work, they were always ready for an outdoor adventure.

“No, I just needed to get out on the water myself. I was hoping you’d want to tag along.”

Wes waited until they were in Colt’s truck, heading toward the lake, before he asked, “What’s up? You rarely bug out in the middle of a workday.”

“I’m not gonna lay my problems on you. Not today.” Colt turned the radio up before slipping on his sunglasses.

“I wish you would,” Wes said, turning the air conditioning off and opening his window. “You’d be doing me a favor, getting me out of my own head for a bit.”

Colt sighed before cracking his window and breathing deeply, obviously enjoying the healing effects of the sunshine and fresh air as much as Wes was. “The old man asked to see me. He must have been having a lucid moment the last time my mother went to see him. Sounds like he’s running out of time. I just don’t know if I should go, you know? What purpose would it serve, seeing him again when he probably won’t even know who I am when I get there?”

Wes would have given anything for one last conversation with his father, especially now, but he couldn’t compare his situation with Colt’s. His old man had been his best friend; Colt’s had been his worst nightmare. Wes wasn’t sure he’d ever be able to forgive the way Colt’s father had treated his best friend.

“What could it hurt?” When Colt shrugged, Wes asked, “Could the old bastard honestly do any more harm than he already has? You may get a few things off your chest. Even if he doesn’t know what the hell you’re talking about, you’ll know. Maybe it’ll make you feel better.”

“I’ve just been trying hard to put all that shit behind me,” he said, curling his hand around the leather steering wheel. “What good would it do to start digging it up again?”

“He deserves to know how you feel. You should have the right to tell him. Don’t cheat yourself out of that.”

Colt turned into the gravel parking lot where a few other trucks with trailers were parked by the boat launch. Colt was parking his new Avalanche at the marina until he could buy or build a house on the water, so they grabbed their gear and trudged toward the dock.

They worked silently, loading the heavy tackle boxes, rods, and net just as they’d done thousands of times. This was their therapy. Whenever they were struggling with a problem, they’d head out on the water to work it out. Sometimes alone, sometimes together, depending on whether they needed to bend someone else’s ear.

Colt started the engine, and they coasted through the narrow channel where the boat traffic was heavier even midweek. He slowed and pressed a few buttons on the GPS, deciding on the right spots to target. Once they’d dropped anchor and set their bait, they started casting in opposite directions, enjoying the silence for a few minutes.

Finally Colt said, “You must be nervous as hell about tonight.”

“That’s an understatement.”

“How about Sage? How’s she handling it?”

“Honestly? I don’t know. I haven’t talked to her in a few days.”

“Something happen?” Colt asked, setting his rod in the rod holder before pulling a cold can of ginger ale from the cooler they’d brought. He handed one to Wes before peeling back the tab on his own.

“Call it a near kiss,” Wes said, rubbing his face after setting down his own rod.

“A near kiss?” Colt chuckled. “That’s a new one.”

“I should have kissed her. I wanted to. She wanted me to. But I didn’t.”

“Why the hell not?”

“Because things are complicated enough already. I just want to get through this meeting with Nick tonight before I add any more drama to the mix.”

“Then you do intend to kiss her?” Colt laughed when Wes rolled his eyes. “And we both know where that’ll lead. You two never could keep your hands off each other. Didn’t even matter who was around.”

“Shut up,” Wes muttered as he eyed the GPS to gauge the water’s depth and the position of the fish. “We’re not horny teenagers anymore. We’re not going to let things get out of hand. We know, better than most, what can happen when you don’t think things through.”

“So you’re just going to hold back with her because you’re scared? That doesn’t sound like you, man.”

It wasn’t his usual M.O., but he’d never been in a situation like this. He couldn’t afford to screw this up. For Sage’s sake, as well as Nick’s, he had to be responsible and think about what was best for them. “I want a relationship with my son. That’s why I came back here, remember? To spend more time with my family, and that includes Nick.”

“Yeah, but you can’t deny Sage was a big part of the reason you came back too.”

“Only because she’s the mother of my son,” Wes argued. “It’s not like I came back home because I thought we could pick up where we left off when we were kids.”

Wes cast his line, thinking about how different his life would have been if he’d stayed in Vista Falls and raised Nick with Sage. He wouldn’t have had his business, but he would have had a family. To him, that was worth a hell of a lot more than some big fat bank account.

“But do you think you could?” Colt asked, watching him and waiting for a response as his bait dangled just above the surface of the water. “Start things up again with Sage? You loved her, Wes. Like you’ve never loved anyone.”

Colt was the only person who could make a statement like that and know it to be true. He’d been with Wes through it all. Every one-night stand and disastrous first date. Every relationship with a clingy woman who was just looking for a ring. Even a pregnancy scare a few years back with a girl he’d only dated for a few weeks. But Wes could have said the same thing to Colt about Gabby. In the years that followed, he’d never loved anyone the way he loved her. He let his guard down with Gabby, something he rarely did even with his best friend.

“Everything feels more intense when you’re that age. You know that,” Wes said.

“So you’re saying it was just some teenage thing?” Colt snorted, casting his line back in the water. “That’s bullshit and you know it. We’ve both been around the block enough times to know the real thing when we see it.”

“I guess you’re right.” Wes sighed before taking a sip of his cold drink. “But I don’t know if Sage and I have a shot. She’s got a lot going on with the dealership—”