Rough Terrain (Vista Falls #1) (8 page)

They ate in silence for a few minutes with him polishing off two pieces of pizza to her one.

“Have you started to do any digging yet?” she asked, reaching for her water. “You said something about hiring someone to help find him?”

“Yeah, but the lawyer I contacted said that if it was an open adoption, the adoption agency should be able to tell us something. Do you have any paperwork that might help? You know, from the adoption agency you dealt with—something with their name or phone number?”

“I do,” she said, jumping up. “It’s in my office. I’ll be right back.”

He appreciated that she was making this easy for him. When he’d come back to town, he wasn’t sure what to expect. There had been a lot of hostility between them when he left, mainly because they’d disagreed about the right course of action.

“Penny for your thoughts,” she said, standing in the doorway with a nondescript manila envelope pressed to her chest.

“I was just thinking it’s nice we can be friends after everything that went down between us.” When she didn’t respond, he added, “Assuming that’s what we are? Friends?”

“I think so.” She sat on the edge of the sofa, farther away than she’d been before. “I mean, I’d like to be friends.” She bit her lip, her eyes straying back to the photo. “Gabby has been amazing, but no one else really understands what it was like to give him up, to wonder all these years about what he’s like.”

“What does he look like?” Wes said, knowing he was speaking her thoughts. “Does he have any of your mannerisms or mine?”

“Is he an athlete like you or a writer like me?”

“Does he love the outdoors?” Wes cleared his throat. “Did his adoptive dad ever take him fishing or hunting? Is that something they like to do together?”

She surprised him by placing a hand on his knee. “Does he have a girlfriend?” She wrinkled her nose, making him laugh. “God, I’m not sure I could handle that. I still imagine him as a little boy, you know?”

“Yeah, me too.” Thinking about all of the important moments they’d missed out on killed Wes. But if they were lucky enough to get a second chance to be a part of his life, they had a lot of amazing moments to look forward to. Like high school and college graduations. Maybe a wedding and grandbabies.

She pulled her hand away, resting her elbows on her knees as she covered her face with her palms. “God, I just pray he doesn’t tell us to go to hell and he never wants to hear from us again.”

Wes inched closer, resting his hand on her back. “Babe, there’s a chance of that happening. We have to be prepared for that.” The endearment had slipped out before he had a chance to censor it.

Instead of reprimanding him, she leaned into him, taking the support he offered. “I’m just so glad you’re here to do this with me. I don’t think I could do it alone.”

He was dying to kiss her, but it wasn’t the right time. She was sad and vulnerable and scared, and he refused to take advantage of that. With any luck, their love for their son would be the bridge that brought them back together, but Wes didn’t want her to think, even for a second, that he was trying to use this horrible situation only to reconnect with her.

“I’m not sure I could either,” he said honestly, brushing his lips against her temple.

***

Wes was completely stunned when he got off the phone with the adoption agency the next day. He hadn’t been able to track down the adoptive parents via the records Sage gave him… and with good reason. His adoptive father had died, and the mother remarried and changed her name. Apparently the lady at the adoption agency knew that because the adoptive mother had called the agency to provide her new information… in case Nick’s birth parents ever sought him out.

After all these years, his son finally had a name. Nicholas.

He stared at the photo Sage had given him, which was now displayed prominently right beside his phone on his desk. He was still trying to decide whom he should call first: Nick’s adoptive mother or Sage, to fill her in on what he’d learned. He didn’t know if she would want to be a part of the phone conversation or not. They hadn’t discussed that last night.

“Knock, knock.”

Wes smiled when he saw his mother outside his door. If anyone could help him make sense of this, she could. He jumped up and walked around his desk before enveloping her in a huge hug. “How is it you always know when I need you?”

She smiled, patting his cheek. “You know that’s a mother’s job. Besides, I might be here on a bit of a fishing expedition. And I wouldn’t come without the right kind of bait.” She held up a paper bag, shaking it under his nose.

He didn’t even have to ask what was inside—his favorite homemade chocolate chip pecan cookies. He laughed as he dug into the bag then popped one of the small cookies in his mouth, moaning with appreciation as he closed his eyes. “God, these are good.”

He offered her one, which she declined, before he set the bag on his desk and headed for the coffeemaker set up in the small kitchenette in the corner of his office.

“You want one?” he asked, raising a mug.

“No, thanks, honey.” She watched him carefully. “So I was helping out at the church this morning when Vera Banks told me an interesting bit of news.”

“Oh yeah, what’s that?”

“Well, I don’t know if you know this, but she’s Sage’s neighbor now. She lives right across the street. When her husband died, she wanted to downsize. That big old house with all that acreage was just too much for her to handle on her own and—”

“Mom, I think I know where you’re going with this.” As much as Wes loved his mother, the only thing he didn’t love about being back home was her well-meaning meddling.

“Vera said she thought it was your truck parked at Sage’s house for hours last night. Is that true?”

Since Wes knew he would eventually have to tell his mother about their plans and he could have used some advice right about now, he decided to distract her from the matter of him and Sage with the one thing that would set her on a different course—her grandson. “Here,” he said, passing her the frame. “Sage gave this to me last night.”

Tears filled her blue eyes before she clasped her hand over her mouth. “Oh my God, this is…?” She sank into one of the guest chairs.

“Nick.” Wes smiled, his chest swelling with pride, though he knew he had no reason to be proud of the boy. He didn’t even know him. “That’s the name his adoptive parents gave him.”

“Um, honey…” She set the frame back on the desk. “I know I should have told you about this sooner, but I wasn’t sure you wanted to talk about it. Sage wrote a book about the adoption and—”

“I know.” He pulled the book out of his desk drawer, holding it up before sitting back in his chair. “Read it cover to cover.”

“Me too. Several times, in fact.”

They shared a long look. It was all he needed to remind him that he and Sage weren’t the only people who had suffered when they gave their son up for adoption. His parents hadn’t wanted him to do it. They’d even offered to help him raise the baby, but that wasn’t an option Sage’s parents were willing to consider. As far as they were concerned, there was only one choice—adoption.

“I was so heartbroken for Sage when I read that book.” Her jaw clenched as she straightened her silver-framed glasses. “The way her parents pressured her into—”

“I know.” Wes didn’t want to go there again. If he did, he was afraid he’d drive across town and let her parents have it. Something he probably should have done years ago. “But that’s ancient history, right?”

“She was young,” she said gently. “You were both so young, honey. I know you don’t agree with the decision she made and you resented being pressured into going along with it, but you have to know how much she regrets it.”

“You and Sage have talked about the adoption?” Wes didn’t know why he was so stunned to hear that, only that he’d never imagined Sage having the courage to broach the subject with his mother.

“You know she goes to my church, right?”

“No, I didn’t know that.”

“Well, she does. Anyways, when she wrote the book, it circulated at the church, of course. It helped a lot of families who’d been touched by adoption. The reverend even asked her to speak about it.” She smiled. “She was wonderful. I was so proud of her.”

“Really?” He didn’t know how to feel about the fact that his mother’s relationship with Sage had continued, even grown stronger, though she’d never said anything to him about his ex. “I’m sorry I missed that.”

“You need to forgive, son.”

“I’ve already forgiven Sage. I know she was just doing what she thought was best for all of us.”

“I’m talking about her parents. I know you think they’re the reason you weren’t able to raise your son, and you may be right. But it’s not healthy to carry around all that hate and resentment.”

Wes had never even entertained the idea of forgiving the Brevilles. Not that he thought they wanted his forgiveness. He was certain they couldn’t care less how he felt about them. “I have more important things on my mind than them right now.” He held up the slip of paper that contained the name of the woman who could provide a direct line to the missing part of his life.

“What’s that?” she asked, frowning.

“The name and number of Nick’s adoptive mom.”

“Oh, wow.” Her eyes widened. “You’re going to reach out to her? Does Sage know?”

“She knows. That’s the reason I was at her place last night, to discuss it.”

“Oh.” Her slim shoulders slumped slightly, beneath her thin, hand-knit gray cardigan. “I thought maybe you two were seeing each other again.”

“We’re not.” Not that he didn’t wish they were. “But we have decided we’d like to meet our son. Together.”

She clasped her hands, looking elated once again. “Oh, Wes. That is so wonderful!”

“I hope it will be.”

“You’re worried that he won’t be receptive?” She pursed her lips. “I guess I can understand that. After all, he has no way of knowing the circumstances or how much we all love him and wish he were a part of our lives.”

The last thing Wes wanted was to give his mother false hope. She’d already been hurt enough. “Mom, listen, I know you want grandchildren, but you have to understand that Nick has a family of his own. He may never want to be a part of ours, and we have to accept that.”

“I know.” She faked a smile, shaking her head. “We have to deal the hand we’re dealt, right? But I still think it’s wonderful that you and Sage have decided to reach out to him. That must have been a difficult decision for both of you.”

“Not for me.” Wes felt as if he’d been counting down the days until he could make this happen. “I’ve wanted to do this for a really long time.”

“So why didn’t you?”

Trying to make her see it from his perspective wouldn’t be easy, but he wanted to try. “For a long time, I had nothing to offer him.”

“You had your love to give him. Don’t you know by now that’s the only thing that matters?”

Love had been more than enough in his family because his parents had been there for their children from day one… until his father died. He sure wished the old man were around now to meet his only grandson for the very first time.

“I wanted him to be proud of me.” Wes knew it may not have made sense to anyone else, but he didn’t want to come to his son as a broken and confused kid still trying to find his way. By the time he met Nick, he’d wanted to be a mature man who’d repented for his mistakes, made a good life for himself, and could offer his son some help and guidance, assuming he wanted it.

“How could he not be proud of you?” She gestured around his office. “Just look at what you and Colt have accomplished. It’s nothing short of a miracle, if you ask me.”

Wes chuckled. There was nothing miraculous about it. They’d busted their asses, working eighty-hour weeks and sleeping on the couches in their office when they were too tired to drive home.

“I appreciate that, Mom. But it’s not just about the business, though I am proud of that. When I met him for the first time, I wanted to be able to tell him about the life I’d lived and feel like…” He’d imagined their first conversation a hundred times, but he had no way of knowing if it would go down the way he hoped it would, and that scared him. “I don’t know, like I’d accomplished something, I guess. Like I had something to offer him, some wisdom.” He met her smile with one of his own. “That’s one of the things I remember most about my talks with Dad when I was Nick’s age. He always seemed to have all the answers.”

She laughed, fluffing her silver hair. “I’m glad you think so, but I can assure you that wasn’t the case. Since you were the oldest, I think Dad practiced on you. He often told me he hoped he didn’t screw you kids up too bad. He hated that he wasn’t able to get an education. He felt he wasn’t smart enough to be able to teach you everything you needed to know.”

Wes’s heart ached when his thought of his father thinking, even for a second, that he hadn’t been enough for his family. He’d been more than enough, with or without some stupid piece of paper to deem him worthy. “If education was so important to Dad, why’d he let me drop out of college to start this business with Colt?”

“Because he knew it was your dream. How could he stand in the way of that?”

Wes picked up another photo on his desk, one that meant almost as much to him as the picture of his son. It was the last one taken of their entire family before his father died, and in it, the old man was beaming simply because they’d all managed to make it home for Christmas. “I don’t think I would have had the courage to pursue this if he hadn’t told me the best life lessons were found in your failures. That took some of the pressure off me. I figured the worst thing that could happen was we’d fail.”

“But you didn’t fail,” she said, reaching across the desk to squeeze his hand. “You’ve exceeded your wildest expectations, I’m sure.”

“Believe me, we failed plenty, but we figured it out,” he said, thinking about the early days when they’d almost had to file for bankruptcy because they couldn’t pay their suppliers. After a beat of silence, he voiced his real fear. “But I can’t afford to fail with Nick, Mom. That would kill me. I may only get one shot with him. What if I blow it?”