Route 66 Reunions (47 page)

Linda looked away without saying anything for a moment. Finally she turned back to him. “If you talk to her, be careful. Coming here, learning of Jessica’s death, seeing you again, it’s all opened her emotions, leaving them raw. She’s just started getting her life together after losing so much. She doesn’t need any more pain.”

“I understand about pain and loss.” He looked around the farm and wished for his sister. But she’d never come back. She’d gone home to be with the Lord she loved so much. He had to move on and Amanda needed to also. Maybe he could help her. If only he could get close enough to talk to her.

He let his gaze settle on Linda. “I won’t bother her now, but will you give her a message for me? Will you tell her I need to apologize? I’d like to give her the opportunity to forgive me. Until I have her forgiveness, I doubt I’ll ever be able to forgive myself.”

Linda searched his face as if looking for the truth. She nodded and turned away. “I’ll tell her.”

As soon as Linda got in the car and closed the door, Amanda turned the key and the engine started. Chad stood where Linda had left him, watching while they backed out of the driveway.

“Well.” Linda let out a rush of air. “I’m glad the Kimbels decided to ride back with the Harrisons.”

Amanda watched Chad. “Why did you stop him?”

Linda turned toward Amanda. “To keep him from stopping you.”

Amanda glanced at Sarah’s mom and laughed. “Sarah always complained you were an overprotective mother. You know, I think she’s right.”

With a quick wave of her hand, Linda brushed the accusation away. “Oh what does she know? She’ll find out soon enough that motherhood isn’t all that easy.”

Amanda thought of her friend who had been going through the lovely morning sickness stage of pregnancy and giggled. “She’s probably getting a good idea of that already. To hear her talk, she’s been sleeping in the bathtub to make upchucking easier when she first wakes up. When I told her I only had light nausea with my pregnancy, I thought she was coming through the phone to California so she could choke me.”

Linda chuckled. “She was never sick with Trey. Funny how each pregnancy is different.”

Amanda nodded. She’d had one baby, and she’d never have another. That thought brought her back to Chad. What had he wanted to talk to her about? True, at the moment she’d wanted to get away from him, but now she wondered. Had he only wanted to thank her for helping? Probably.

“He gave me a message for you.” Linda’s comment brought a rush of air to Amanda’s lungs.

In a tight voice, she asked, “What did he say?”

“He said he wanted to apologize for your past. Then he said something I’m still trying to figure out. He said until you forgive him, he won’t be able to forgive himself.”

Amanda’s grip tightened on the steering wheel. She stopped at the highway, shrugged, and forced a smile. “I’m surprised he realizes he was in the wrong.”

“Evidently, he does.” Linda looked out the side window as Amanda moved the car forward. “Clear to the right. Oh I’m sorry. I always do that for David.”

“That’s fine.” Amanda kept a smile on her face. “I never object to another pair of eyes.”

She pulled out on the highway behind the pastor’s car. Rick Harrison’s truck followed them.

The next day Amanda sat in church listening to the report Pastor Mattson gave of their day spent on Chad’s farm.

“The Word of God says we are to love our neighbor as ourselves. If our homes had been damaged, our once manicured lawns strewn with trash, broken limbs, and parts of our barn, wouldn’t we welcome our neighbor’s help? Removing a large tree from the roof of a house is impossible for one man alone. Yesterday, with the expertise of our men, and by working together, we turned that monumental task into a congenial time of hard work mixed with fellowship. The women also did a tremendous job of cleaning up the yard.”

He seemed to look right at her when he said, “We’ve agreed to returnTuesday. There’s much work to be done before Mr. Randall can bring his orphaned niece home. The little girl, less than a year old, is in foster care now, and he desperately wants her with him. He feels she needs to be with family, and I sensed in talking to him, he needs her just as much, as she’s all the family he has left.”

All the family he has left
. The words rang in Amanda’s ears until she could hear nothing else. Chad had no family? No wife? No children? But he was married. What happened in his life that she knew nothing about? Her parents had never told her anything other than a passing mention that Chad and Jessica’s mother passed away. That was a couple of years ago. She searched her memory and could think of no other mention of Chad. Did her mom know anything else?

She stole a peek at her mother who seemed to be listening with nothing other than interest in her expression. What about Linda? Amanda turned slightly to look across the church where Linda and David Maddox sat. Linda caught her gaze and smiled before turning her attention back to the pastor.

All the family he has left
. The congregation stood as the liturgist read the scripture selection taken from Luke 10. Amanda followed in her Bible while he read the story of the Good Samaritan. She couldn’t stay focused on Pastor Mattson’s sermon, as his earlier statement wouldn’t leave her alone. If Chad had no family other than his niece…No, she wouldn’t entertain such thoughts. She’d almost married Chad once, but he’d proved his love was fleeting. He might be attracted to her. She couldn’t deny her attraction to him, but that’s all it was. Some strange chemical reaction that had already been and would again be the cause of disaster if she allowed it to. And she wouldn’t. Her life was starting to come together after five years of uncertainty. She had to forget Chad, and the best way was to stay away from him.

At the end of the service, Amanda followed her parents to the door where the pastor stood shaking hands. He held hers with both of his and gave her a wide smile. “Amanda, I want you to know how thankful we are to have you back here with us.”

“Thank you, Pastor.”

He released her hand. “I don’t think I’ve ever worked as hard as I did yesterday, but I wouldn’t have missed it. I know you understand, and I imagine you’re looking forward to Tuesday as much as I am.”

“Yes.” Not because she’d be on Chad’s farm. She couldn’t do that, but she did look forward to each new day.

He nodded as if she’d agreed. “It’ll be worth it all to get that baby back with her uncle, won’t it? She’s lost her mom and dad. Just doesn’t seem right for her to be kept from a loving uncle, too.”

Each sentence the pastor uttered became a tiny prod, poking and urging her to admit she cared about Chad, that she’d be there Tuesday to help. Her heart went out to the baby she’d never met. What if her baby had lived and she’d died along with Jeff? She’d have wanted Karen or Brad to take her and raise her as their own. A baby belonged with family who would love and want her as much as Chad seemed to. Even single, Chad would be a good father to his niece. Amanda believed that.

After a noisy dinner with her brother’s family in attendance, Amanda washed the dishes. Brad came into the kitchen for another slice of their mother’s chocolate cake. He took a plate and fork from the dish drainer.

“Hey, I just washed that.” She was wasting her breath but tried anyway.

He grinned and cut a big slice of cake. “Good, you’ll know how to do it again when I’m done. They say practice makes perfect.”

“I’m not going to stand here and wash dishes all afternoon so you can stuff your face.” She grabbed another plate and fork and cut her own slice. “Instead, I’ll join you. How come your two hooligans aren’t in here grabbing more cake, too?”

“Oh, Dad’s got them looking through his stamp collection. They’re about as quiet as I’ve ever seen them, so I took advantage of it.” He grinned. “Mom and Esther went upstairs to look at some fabric for a quilt or something, so they can’t say anything if I eat up the cake.”

Amanda laughed. “You won’t eat it all. Together we won’t even eat it all. It’s too rich. When Mom makes chocolate cake, she makes it really chocolate.”

“Yeah. So how’s life treating you now?” Brad’s question caught her by surprise.

“Fine. I’m looking forward to my first teaching job.” She sighed. “I do need a summer job though. I’d like to get a place of my own. Living here makes me feel seventeen again.”

He grinned. “That doesn’t sound so bad.”

She smiled until he said, “I heard you’ve been helping clean up Chad Randall’s place after those tornadoes.”

“I went yesterday, but I didn’t know who owned the farm until I was already there.”

A gleam she couldn’t decipher entered his eyes. “So, I heard he’s single now. You are, too.”

She stuck her fork in her half-eaten cake and glared at her brother. “That’s exactly right, and I plan to stay that way. I’m not sure what you’re getting at, but I have no plans of going within ten miles of Chad Randall again if I can help it. So take your matchmaking someplace else.”

As if he hadn’t heard her outburst, he asked, “Did you even stop to consider that he might’ve been innocent all those years ago?”

“Innocent? Ha!” The anger and hurt rushed through her as if she’d just that moment found Chad and Susan together. “I saw him and—oh forget it.” She stood and set her plate to the side. “There’s no point in discussing this. It’s past and needs to stay there right along with Chad Randall. I won’t be helping Tuesday. That’s all there is to it.”

Before her brother could say something else she didn’t want to hear, she walked from the room and ran upstairs. Voices came from her mother’s sewing room. She slipped past the open door and breathed easier when neither her mother nor her sister-in-law called out to her. They both loved to sew and probably had their heads together over a stack of material. Tiptoeing the rest of the way, she went into her room and closed the door.

She sprawled across her bed facedown and rested her head on her bent arm. The temper she’d displayed toward her brother had already ebbed away. She hadn’t been angry with Brad. Her anger was caused by her conflicting emotions. Feelings stirred by seeing Chad after so many years.

He looked good. His dark hair was still thick and wavy. His face as strong and handsome as ever, only the added creases in the corners of his eyes when he smiled made him even more appealing. She sighed. He’d been so alive and wonderful when he spoke to her and smiled as if she meant something to him. But she didn’t. Oh, maybe a little, but not enough. Never enough.

She jumped from the bed and pulled her cell phone from her purse then plopped back down and found her sister’s name in contacts. While the phone rang, she lay back and stared at the ceiling.

“Hello?”

“Karen, are you coming to Mom and Dad’s this evening?”

“Of course. I haven’t seen my little sister since she moved home. How’s that going, by the way?”

Amanda suppressed a sigh. “Fine, but I’d like to get my own place ASAP. That isn’t why I called though. I need to return a rental car. If you’re coming here anyway, could you meet me at the Springfield airport and let me ride back home with you?”

“Sure, that’s not a problem. What time?”

After they’d made arrangements, Amanda grabbed her purse and went downstairs to tell her parents what she was doing. Brad followed her to the car and held the door while she got in. “Hey, I’m sorry for what I said in the kitchen.”