Royal Bastard (28 page)

I
waited nervously
out on the deck, overlooking the calm sea as I tried to pull myself together and emulate the gentle in and out flow of the lapping waters. I’d stayed away for much of the day, giving April time to herself while I tried to not let last night get to me. I’d indulged in some kitesurfing lessons, believing that the strong winds and exercise would make me forget about her. It hadn’t fucking helped. In fact, it seemed to make it worse, and I’d lost my balance too many times to count, sending my ass into the salty brine over and over again.

It was almost laughable to think that I was actually nervous. She was just a chick, and not even my type, I tried to convince myself. I could handle a few more hours in her company.

The sound of the door opening caught my attention and I turned around, my heart constricting in my chest as I drank in the sight of her, clad in a long flowing gown that left her shoulders bare and hugged that magnificent rack of hers. Her hair was up with a few tendrils framing her face. She held my stare without giving anything away; an expression that any seasoned poker player would be envious of. “Are you ready?”

I forced a nod, walking toward her. Dressed like that I was going to have a hard time keeping my hands off her lush body or my lips off her soft skin, regardless of the decision I’d made to leave her be. “Showtime,” I said. I extended my hand and she took it without question, her heated skin colliding with mine. I gave it a squeeze and together we meandered down the wooden walkway, past the central buildings and onto the small dock, where a gleaming yacht was awaiting our arrival.

“Right this way,” the man on the gangway said, as I helped April on board. We followed the man into the belly of the ship, where a table for two had been set up, overlooking the water. “Mr. & Mrs. Haden, welcome aboard. We will sail out to a beautiful spot, and once there we will serve you your meal. Our chef has some delights he can’t wait for you to try.”

“That sounds fine,” I answered. He bowed, literally
bowed
at us before hurrying off. The staff were so polite, and I had to try and keep a straight face. I walked over to the table and grabbed the chilling champagne bottle, pouring two glasses of the bubbly before handing one to April. The engines rumbled beneath us and I gestured to the way we came. “Shall we go watch the sunset above deck?”

She nodded and followed me up top, the wind catching her hair as the boat puttered around the island, giving us the best view as the colors of the sunset cascaded and bathed the huts along its shore with dazzling lights.

Another attendant was waiting in the wings so I wrapped an arm around April’s waist, pulling her close as we sipped on our champagne; still needing to keep up the pretense. This felt so right but so wrong at the same time. I was just content with having her beside me, not even imagining how it would be to be standing here next to Crystal at this point. Well, we wouldn’t be standing right here. She would be fussing with her hair and complaining about the wind.

“Connor?” April bit her lip and took her eyes off the view, turning towards me.

“Yeah?” I asked, my hand tightening around my glass.

“What did you mean?”

“About what?”

“Why did you say you were scared of me? Why did you run?”

“Leave it be, April,” I warned. I’d been wrestling with that same question all day, getting nowhere except knowing that I bitterly regretted not kissing her again.

Persistent, she stood before me, attempting to get my attention, her cool eyes demanding answers. “What would you do if I kissed you now, will you run again?”

I laughed, thinking that the only place to run would be overboard. “You don’t want to kiss me,” I said as I looked into her eyes, restraint giving way as I did. I pulled her close, almost daring her to. If she did, I might be lost to a woman for the first time in my entire adult life.

She reached up and cupped my cheek, sliding to the back of my neck and encouraging me down to her lips. I didn’t need much encouragement following her words, though.

“I really do,” she said before her lips brushed over mine.

I
was drowning
. The sunset was beautiful and being in Connor’s arms seemed so right, so natural, and the next step was to have the most magnificent kiss to make this picture complete.

His words made my heart ache for him and I found that there was nothing else I would rather be doing than kissing Connor Haden. He groaned against my lips and I applied pressure to the back of his neck, deepening the kiss until he couldn’t resist any longer. With a growl he teased my lips until I opened my mouth, his tongue sweeping in and changing the entire feel of our kiss from innocent to scorching hot within seconds.

He kissed like he talked; blazing molten lava pouring into me and reigniting that low simmering fire that I’d tried to keep hidden for so long. I moaned and Connor broke the kiss, taking a few steps back as I literally trembled from the connection. Oh my god. It was as exactly as I thought. He exhaled hard before looking at me, a small grin on his handsome face. “I can’t apologize for that one.”

“You shouldn’t,” I said shakily.

Music suddenly filled the air and we both looked over to find the attendant grinning at us, motioning for us to come together and dance. I laughed as Connor plucked my glass out of my hand and set it next to his on the side before he wrapped his arms around my waist. I placed my hands on his shoulders and then laced them around his neck, giving him a grin. “They sure are pushy.”

“Well, it is our honeymoon after all, they want us to be happy,” he said softly, turning us in a slow circle. “And I can’t think of anyone else on this boat that I would rather dance with.”

“Connor, what on earth are we doing?” I knew he understood what I meant. What were we trying to prove by the teasing, the kissing? We weren’t a real couple, not by a long shot!

“We’re dancing,” he replied, ignoring my question. “We’re enjoying ourselves. Stop questioning it, April… I know I’ve stopped.”

He paused and dipped me down, holding me tight in his safe arms as the boat swayed and the music played. He was looking right at me, seeing me. And then again his lips had me.

Standing tall again, our kiss became feverous, my hands clawing at his shirt as his hands explored and slipped down and around my waist.

All of sudden his roaming hands were gone and he stepped back. I brought my fingers to my tender lips. He was going to do it again. He was going to run. Why was he so scared? But the fire in his eyes and the thick outline of his cock, visible in his pants, told me otherwise.

He grinned and turned away. “You,” he pointed to the member of staff standing partially in the shadows. “Leave us. Make sure we are not to be disturbed.”

The man nodded and was gone in a flash.

Just as quickly, Connor was taking me into his arms again, and this time there was no hesitation.

We were doing a different kind of dance now, our tongues performing an unmajestic choreograph while we clawed at each other. Connor gathered up the fabric of my dress and I felt the sizzle of his fingertips as they brushed against the soft skin of my thighs. I’d never been touched like this, not in public and certainly not when I knew there were other people within earshot, but nothing within me could make me tell him to stop. I wanted this. I wanted his hand to explore further, and I moaned when I got my wish.

His breath tickled my ear as he kissed up my neck, and I expelled an unstoppable moan while he simultaneously ran a hand over my panties.

“Oh, god, Connor…” He pulled the material away to the side and I jerked as I felt the first contact of his fingers upon me. His thick fingers slipped between my folds and I was ready for him to be inside me, to make me explode.

“I want to hear you moan my name again, April.”

Dazzled by the pulsing pleasure between my thighs, it took me a moment to realize what he’d said.
Again?

“Oh. My. God. You heard me? The other day?” I barely breathed as I held onto him, his fingers slipping against me but not inside yet. I didn’t know if I was appalled, embarrassed or turned on by him hearing me say his name while I made myself orgasm.

Definitely the latter.

“I didn’t just hear you, I saw you,” he replied with a devilish grin on his face. My eyes went wide. “I watched as you slipped your fingers inside your pussy and called out my name until you came…just like I’m going to do now.”

Before I could react, he speared me with one hard thrust, assaulting my channel as I hung onto his neck for dear life. I almost came apart right then.

“You like that don’t you? Having me inside you?”

I nodded and bit my lip, throwing my head back, and he drove his fingers inside me. He kissed my exposed neck, his tongue running wildly over my pressure point.

“Oh, god.”

“Say my name, April,” he demanded as everything around me started to blur.

“Don’t stop…”

“Say it!” he growled, his efforts doubling while my legs began to shake. I moved my hips, meeting his pounding thrusts, and I feared this was to be my undoing. He was going to ruin me.

“Connor, fuck. Connor!” I yelled into the sea breeze as I shattered into a billion pieces under the starry night sky.

* * *

W
e walked back
to the hut hand in hand, our bellies full on the best food I’d tasted in my entire life; the chef had been amazing. And he wasn’t the only one, Connor had a lot to answer for the smile upon my face too.

After our
dance
, Connor had excused himself for a moment then we’d dined together, each hardly knowing what to say. Fumbling over our words the entire night, we were like awkward teenagers. Eventually we’d both relaxed, our conversation meandering on to our favorite things, and we hadn’t dared bring up what we’d just done on the top deck of the yacht.

He’d finger fucked me and had wanted to take it much further, and shit, I almost let him. But somehow, I’d clawed onto the tiny flicker of self-restraint remaining and pushed him away. If I’d let him bend me over the railing and savagely fuck me, I feared I was about to become another one of his conquests. A notch of his well-worn and marked bedpost. And I would not let myself fall into that sordid abyss.

As we ate, trying desperately to be polite, I’d found out that the guy next to me enjoyed a box of doughnuts in the off season, action flicks, and secretly enjoyed dancing, which after tonight’s antics I wasn’t surprised by. He was also an only child, his parents were divorced—which was a topic he skirted over fast—and did not like water chestnuts. It was all normal things, making it easy to see beyond the famous football star; deep down he was just a regular guy.

This side of him put me on edge, had my belly swirling with apprehension. Connor Haden the superstar quarterback was out of my league, untouchable, but the man walking beside me, easy-going, down to earth Connor, was everything I ever dreamed of wanting.

Thinking past the fact that he’d rocked my world, caused me to have a sensational orgasm that would be fucking hard to top, I knew I was starting to fall for him hard. I should bow out now, cut my losses before I got hurt, I thought. But a part of me—a very large part—wanted to see where this went. I wanted to run to the hut, stripping naked as I went and have him take me on the honeymoon bed. I wanted to ignore all of the warning signs, the walls I had built to protect myself from ever getting hurt again and throw all of that out of the window.

“Do you want to go have a drink?” Connor asked as he stopped suddenly, the main outcropping of buildings on our right. But I could see our hut was just around the next bend. “You know, extend this night a little longer?”

“Why don’t we have a drink back at the hut? I was thinking of having an early night,” I said hoping he’d take the hint to perhaps join me, pick up where we left off.

“Oh, well, if you’re tired we can have a drink another night,” he said. I tried to explain that I wasn’t tired, that it was just an excuse to go back to the hut, but he pulled me close and pressed a kiss to my forehead, then quickly stepped back as if I’d burned him. “Sleep tight, April.”

I nodded, bewildered as he turned and started to move away. “Thank you for a wonderful evening Connor. I’ll never forget it,” I called after him.

“Me neither,” he said softly, tucking his hands in his pockets. “Goodnight, April.”

“Goodnight,” I replied before turning toward the hut full of remorse. What had I done wrong? Had it all meant nothing?

T
he bar was
cool and quiet as I entered and walked up to the counter, my thoughts on the beautiful woman I had foolishly left for the night. But she was clear, she wanted an early night, didn’t want to join me for a nightcap. I wanted to do this all differently now that I’d started, let myself slip on the yacht. She deserved the best and I wasn’t going to rush it by taking her to bed… I knew if I’d gone back to that hut with her that was exactly what was going to happen.

The bartender gave me a friendly nod. “Two for one Piña Coladas?”

“Nah,” I replied, frowning. “I’ll take a whiskey, on the rocks.” He nodded and moved to fill my order, leaving me to brood in silence, the sound of inoffensive jazz music filling the air.

“I can’t believe you didn’t take the two for one special.”

I looked to my left, pleased that she’d decided to join me, but instead of seeing the curvy wild-haired woman I longed to lay eyes upon again, a tall blonde with a pale complexion and scrutinizing blue eyes stood in her place. She held one of those fruity drinks topped with a cocktail umbrella and sported a guileful smile. She was the type of woman I would usually have given more than a healthy onceover, but that was before the brown-eyed beauty who currently occupied my thoughts had come into my life. Hell, April was firmly nestled under my skin. “I’m not much for sweet stuff.”

She grinned, licked her ruby red lips and propped herself against the bar, twirling her straw around in her drink and never taking her eyes off me. “No sweets, huh? I don’t know if I believe that or not.”

“There are things about me you wouldn’t believe,” I forced out, an easy grin on my face. Instinctively, without even realizing that I was doing, I looked at her hand and saw she was lacking a ring.

I knew my own situation was blurring the lines a little, but what was a single person doing in a place like this? Officially, there was nothing between April and me, though I had found myself thinking how much I would like for there to be. She excited me, both physically and mentally. She also scared the hell out of me.

We were the only two people in the bar, not counting the staff, and the woman moved closer, clearly eyeing me up. She was, upon second glance, gorgeous and giving off all the right signals, and I knew if I played my cards right she could be mine in an instant.

“So, are you here alone, vacationing on the island?”

She almost purred, her finger tracing up along my forearm, looking like the cat who’d caught the canary. “Why, I’m looking for you, of course.”

* * *

I stared at the darkened ceiling for the thousandth time that evening. My yearning body was refusing to shut down, my mind whirling, and I couldn’t drift off to sleep. One ear was trained on the door waiting to hear Connor come back, so I knew he was okay and not lying passed out somewhere. The other was listening to the sound of thunder that had suddenly popped out of nowhere, echoing my turbulent state. The wind was starting to really pick up outside; clawing at the outside walls of the hut, the waves slapping against the deck.

What if he wasn’t able to find his way back? What if the storm got too bad and he accidently walked out to sea and drowned? A thousand horrible thoughts ran through my mind over the course of the last thirty minutes.

With a frustrated sigh, I threw back the covers and slipped the dress I’d worn earlier back on, leaving my hair down around my shoulders as I found my sandals. My mind was made up, I was going to at least see if he was okay and not passed out at the bar. Surely he wouldn’t be. I didn’t want to invade his privacy knowing he seemed to want to be alone, but I also didn’t want something bad to happen to him either.

Not bothering with a jacket, I walked out and shut the door firmly behind me, the wind nipping at my skirt. Was it safe to be in these little huts outstretched over the water during a storm like this? What if there was a tsunami or something? My thoughts darkening, I hurried over to the bar and kept my eyes peeled for him in case he was wandering about outside.

The thunder boomed closer as I entered the bar, and I stopped in my tracks. The rumble dissipated and laughter replaced the sound; male laughter.

Connor was standing very close to a tall woman. She had on heels to die for and her dress was made for the modelesque body she was doing her best to show off to him. She was mere inches away from him, her hand upon his upper chest, and if she leaned forward she would be in striking distance of his lips. Lips that I’d had the pleasure of kissing.

My heart urged me to walk forward to interrupt them, but my legs wouldn’t move. So I stayed, watching them in the shadows. He was looking down at her, and a flare of jealousy hit me right in the gut as I realized he must’ve been checking out her boobs. With a Cheshire grin upon her face she talked with confidence, her eyes shining in the light. My heart sank as I watched them carry on, knowing that I should have expected this.

Hadn’t he jumped from his fiancée to me? Did I really think I was any different than all of the other girls in his life? They didn’t call him a playboy for nothing.

An unexpected rush of tears hit me and I forced them back. I had no hold on him, he had no hold on me. So why was I so upset to begin with? So what if we’d shared a few kisses, and gotten a little hot and heavy earlier? It really didn’t amount to anything, right? He hadn’t want to join me back at the hut… and he’d moved on pretty damn quick.

In my heart, I knew I was lying to myself. Some of those walls had been brought down by the man in front of me, hoping that maybe I’d found one of those rare moments in life that you sometimes got a second chance in. Apparently not. I’d opened up my heart and allowed it to get stomped on by a man I knew was trouble.

Connor happened to look over at the door, and I watched as recognition dawned across his face. He backed away from the woman.
Yeah, too late asshole, I already saw you!
Connor took a step in my direction and I spun on my heels. I was too fragile, too upset over him to allow him to even talk to me at that moment. I fled the bar, darting out into the driving rain, and everything that was previously a landmark was suddenly hard to see. I didn’t care, I just knew I couldn’t stay there.

“You are such an idiot,” I muttered to myself as I moved quickly into the battering storm swirling around me. I had started to trust again, started to believe in love again, and this was where it got me. When was I going to learn?