Rubbed Raw (18 page)

He sat up and started taking my clothes off. “I can fuck you, right?”

“Yeah,” I whispered as he pulled my shorts and panties off in one move.

Tommy got off the bed and grabbed a condom from on top of the dresser. “Be a good girl and lay on your belly.”

As if he controlled me, I did as told. Seconds later, he spread my legs open wide, and I felt his tongue in my pussy. He got it pretty far in, and I moaned. After he pulled it out, I felt so empty.

Then the bed moved, and he lay down on my body. “If I wasn’t so horny, I woulda ate you out for a while. Your pussy tastes so nice.” His cock was soon pushing into me slowly. “I love this position. You feel so damned tight.”

When he got all the way in, he sighed. Then he took one of my hands and gradually put it on the bed over my head. He did the same with the other one. Before I knew it, I couldn’t move anything but my legs. I didn’t feel fear, I trusted him.

He was pumping in and out of me hard and fast. After a short while, we both started to gasp and sigh. Then as he picked up the intensity, they turned into loud moans. I quickly came, clutching the bed sheet while I trembled.

“Babe… babe… I wanna… uh… Oh, damn, I love fucking you.” He exhaled into my ear. “I wanna fuck you in the ass. I bet it’s even better.”

I was already tense, and it got worse with his request. I had only agreed to try it once with a boyfriend in college. It was so painful, I screamed and wouldn’t let him touch me for days. I knew I had to say no, but I couldn’t talk. I just buried my head into the pillow waiting for the awful pain to start.

“Can I?”

I whimpered into the pillow with fear. Then he pulled out and pushed into my ass slightly. Holy shit, it was even worse than the first time. He pushed in some more, and I let out a shrill cry.

He withdrew quickly. “Oh God, I didn’t mean to hurt you like that.” He kissed my cheek. “Babe, you gotta relax for it not to hurt.”

Through tears, I replied, “Don’t do that, please!”

“I’m sorry.” He let me go and got up. “I’m gonna change the condom. Don’t move. I still need you.” I stayed in position, but jumped when he lay on me again. “Sshh, it’s OK. I’m gonna go back in your pussy. I promise.”

As soon as I was calm, his cock started to sink into me. Then he pinned me down, again, slowly. But, this time, I couldn’t move at all. I closed my eyes, trying to fight the fear. Then he pushed against my ass hard and circled his hips as he moaned next to my ear.

“Oh God!” I cried out and gripped him within me. I squeezed his fingers as much as I could while the spasms continued.

Tommy gasped. “Yeah, babe, gimme all you got… Ah, so amazing.” Then he pulled out most of the way and shoved back in quickly several times, increasing the force with each hit.

I started to moan and cry out, loudly, in constant ecstasy. Then I pushed my ass up as much as I could and screamed as even stronger spasms took over. “Tommy!” I called out as I held him tightly inside me.

He gasped. “Uh, Crystal… I fucking… love that… Oh yes!” His body tensed over mine, and he squeezed my hands. Then his cock started pulsating as he sighed with relief.

I started to feel fear again. “Tommy… let go… please.”

“Babe, what’s wrong?”

I started crying. “P-ple-e-a-se...”

“Oh shit!” He pulled out and got off me. “I fucking scared you didn’t I? I’m so sorry.” He helped me turn to him and hugged me as I shook. “I shoulda known not to hold you down. You OK?”

I sobbed into his chest for while as I clung to him. Brief flashes of my attack came to me. I felt my nails digging into his back, but he didn’t say anything about it. Then I realized I came while he had me immobile.
What did that mean?

“I’m sorry. I get aggressive sometimes. I didn’t mean to do this to you.” He ran his fingers through my hair then rubbed my back gently. “I won’t do it again. I promise.” He didn’t let me go until I had calmed down. Then he looked into my eyes. “Crystal, I didn’t mean to put you through that.”

“I know.” I sniffled. “It’s just…”

He put a finger on my lips. “I’m sorry. You’re upset you liked it, right? A lotta girls do. You’re normal. No matter what happened to you, it felt good. That’s all that matters.” He caressed the whole side of my face then got up on his elbow. “Come on. Let’s go for a walk on the beach.”

Exactly two weeks after Giovanni hit me, was the most difficult day. I missed Chad and Giovanni a lot, and I hated sleeping alone. The night before, I was lonely enough to crawl in bed with Tommy, before my pill took affect. That morning, I woke up in his arms. I had started to turn to him more and more for comfort. It always ended with sex.

I was sitting in the kitchen, eating a sandwich and trying to think of a way to fix the situation. I felt like I was caught in the middle of a whirlwind with Chad on one side, Giovanni another, and Tommy yet another.

Then suddenly a melody came into my head. I jumped up and ran into the living room. “Tommy, you got an acoustic?”

Dominic and Dean were on the sectional with acoustic guitars in their hands, and Tommy was on the other side. Jon was on the floor tapping the coffee table. I had forgotten they were writing a song for a movie.

Tommy stood up and put his bass down. “I got another one in my closet. You got an idea for a song, don’t you?”

“Yeah,” I admitted.

He smiled as he looked down at me. “You guys gotta find a way. Music’s in your blood, babe.”

I followed him to his room and soon had a guitar in hand. “Thanks, hey, can I borrow a pen and some paper?”

I next followed him to the office across from his room, and he handed me a pen, pencil, a notepad and blank music sheets. “Can I hear it when you’re done?”

“I can’t sing, you know.”

“I don’t care. Just wanna know what’s in your head today. You been moping around since you woke up. If the guys weren’t here, I would’ve fucked you just to make you smile.”

I sighed. “We both got work to do. Later. I’ll sleep in your bed again, if you want.”

“Yeah, that was cool.” He winked at me. “You know after you crashed, I fucked you twice. You didn’t move, but felt so damned good.”

“Tommy, we gotta get it done by Monday night,” Jon shouted.

I smiled. “You better get back to work. Dean looks antsy. Don’t want him to leave again.”

“He better not. He promised he’d stay till eight.” Tommy put a hand on the middle of my back and led me back to the living room.

I heard guitar music then Dean singing. Tommy quickly grabbed his bass and began playing also. I watched them for a few minutes then went on to the kitchen. For a minute, I debated switching to the dining room because it was quieter, but Tommy kept the room closed up. He only used it for parties.

After putting down the writing materials, I took another bite of my sandwich and a sip of iced tea. Then I grabbed the pencil and wrote down,
I’m caught in the middle of a whirlwind. Feel like I’m being torn apart bit by bit. Is there any way out of this hell I created? Or am I destined to forever put up with all this shit?

I reread it and smiled. That was exactly how I felt. I closed my eyes and let the melody I heard before come back to me. As soon as it did, I started to play it quietly, as I hummed the words. It fit perfectly. I ate and drank a little more, knowing I was going to forget otherwise. Then I wrote down the notes on the top music sheet.

Soon, I got another idea. I quickly wrote down,
I can’t live with you. I can’t live without you.
I looked at it, frowned and crossed it out. It was a cliché.

I sat there for at least two hours, writing phrases down, discarding some and keeping others. I was so wrapped up in my own world; I didn’t hear the guys at all. I smiled at myself when my song was complete. I played it through one more time, softly singing the words to myself. I imagined a punk-like beat to it, and the chorus sung louder than the rest.

“Wow, you miss them.” I glanced up. Dominic was next to the refrigerator. “I didn’t mean to listen in, but it sounds great. You got more done than we did.” He sat across from me. “I heard they’re trying to work on smoothing things out. Phil and Sam seem to have become friends. So I hear stuff.”

I looked at the guitar. “I’m still not sure how we can do this. I see why Giovanni’s jealous,
and
why Chad is, but they need to accept the way things are.”

“You need to change, too,” he told me. “I know Chad’s your best friend, but you gotta draw a line. No guy could handle how you react when he touches you. You have this look of desire in your eyes, and he looks at you the same way. Did you guys used to date?”

I sighed. “No. It’s more complicated than that, but I guess you’re right. I need to pull back from him and find a way to stay there.”

“Dom, come on,” Dean whined. “It’s Saturday. I wanna get this done so I can go hunting.”

I looked up at Dominic, “Hunting?”

“He means get a chick. He’s just weird. By the way, this place never looked better. How’d you get him to keep it this neat?”

“Nagging mostly.” I smiled at Dominic then we walked to the living room. “Tommy, I’m gonna lay down.”

“You OK?”

“Just a really hard day,” I went to my room and crawled into bed. I hoped a nap would help me sort out the thoughts running wild in my head.

Later that night, Tommy and I were alone watching a movie, when the doorbell rang. He got up, and after a few minutes was back next to me. He draped an arm around my shoulders. “Chris, Phil and Vince are coming up.”

I moved over, letting his arm fall. I knew him well enough to see he was horny. He could always tell if I was too, so I needed to hide the fact that between him and the movie I was full of desire.

“Babe,” he whispered as he slid closer. “Would you let them watch me fuck you?”

I glared at him. “No.”

“Then can I take you in the bedroom after the movie?”

I sighed, “Yeah.”

Soon, the guys were in the room and all gave me a hug. Then Phil and Vince sat near Tommy. “Where’s Sam?” He asked. “I heard you guys’re inseparable lately.”

Phil put a hand through his short, light brown hair. “He had a date.”

Chris sat on my other side. “How you doing?” he asked as he lifted my chin. “Chad and Giovanni are taking it really hard. And you can’t tell me this is easy.”

I looked away from him, trying to hide my broken heart. “I’ll be fine.” A lone tear rolled down my cheek as I thought about how much I missed them both.

“Don’t lie to me.” He wiped the tear away and made me look at him. “You left the band and both of them. Don’t tell me it’s all good. Why won’t you talk to them?”

I pulled away as more tears fell. “They can’t get along, so I can’t be around them. Maybe if they start talking again...”

Tommy suddenly took me into his arms. “Babe, they will. Give them time.”

I clung to Tommy’s shirt and bawled into it. I felt Chris’ hand on my back. Then I saw Phil crouch down at my feet as he rubbed my bare thighs, just below my shorts.

“Hey, we’re all here for you,” Phil quietly told me. “I’ll get you a drink. You know that usually helps you.”

Phil was quickly in front of me holding a full juice glass. I stopped crying and was just sad. “I don’t need it anymore.”

“Yes, you do. Drink it.”

I took the cup and looked at it. The liquid was clear and smelled weird, but familiar. I looked up at him. “What is it?”

“I never tell you. Ain’t gonna start now,” he replied.

I took a deep breath and downed half of it. “Ew!” I winced and tried to give it back to him. He pushed it to my mouth. I frowned at him then drank the rest. “That was nasty.”

“It’s tequila.” Phil smiled. “It’ll make it all go away.”

I closed my eyes and leaned back into the couch. Then I groaned.
Alcohol and my meds again? How stupid was that?

I sat there for a good 15 minutes or so, just listening to the guys talk and feeling the alcohol affect my system more and more. All of them complained of not getting laid in a while. I wanted to smack Tommy for lying, but was glad he didn’t let on that I let him fuck me every day. Chris and Phil blamed their dry spell on the band breaking up. Vince was a bit shy with girls, so he didn’t say much about it.

When Tommy got up to change the DVD, Phil sat next to me. “You feel better now?”

I slowly turned to him. His face was inches from mine. “Yeah, I feel goo-ood.”

“So,” he moved a few stray hairs away from my face. “Can I kiss you?”

I blinked my eyes. “Uh…”

“Nothing stopping you now, is there?”

I met his eyes. “I guess not.”

Then his lips pressed against mine and my eyes closed. He pushed me back into the couch a bit and put a hand through my hair, while parting my lips with his tongue.
Damn, he kisses good!
Within seconds, he had me on my back and was on top of me.

“Phil, leave her alone,” Chris said from somewhere.

He didn’t stop. Instead, he slid his hand under my top and grabbed my breast. I moaned softly as he ground his hard cock against my crotch. His tongue caressed mine with each kiss. I wanted him so badly, I forgot about everyone in the room with us.

“I wanna see these,” he whispered as he popped open my bra. Then he lifted my blouse and soon sucked my right nipple into his mouth.

Next, I heard, “Damn!” It sounded like Vince.

“Phil, stop. She’s gotta be drunk.” I looked up, and Tommy was standing over us. “She would never do this in front of us if she wasn’t.”

Phil gazed into my eyes, and he covered my breast with his hand. “Are you drunk?”

“I might be,” I responded, slightly out of breath.

He sighed. “Is that why you’re letting me kiss you?”

“No.”

“See, Tommy.” Phil ran his fingertip over my hard nipple. “She wants me.”

I pushed him away and pulled my shirt down. “I didn’t say that.” I put my hands over my chest, embarrassed. “I just mean you’re a good kisser.”

“Fine,” Phil got up, his dick about to burst from his pants. “Now I need a drink and a blowjob.” Then he left the room.

By the time he came back with a beer for everyone, I was between Tommy and Chris again. I glanced at the television and saw Tommy had put on an action flick. My head felt heavy, so I leaned over, onto Chris’ arm. He quickly pulled me closer and let me lay on his chest, with his arm around me.