Ruby Parker Hits the Small Time (14 page)

“Well, I'd rather be a manky old trout than …than …” I spluttered. It was no good. That witty one-liner simply wouldn't come out. Anne-Marie laughed in my face.

“Than what? Than beautiful? Than popular? Than have more than one useless friend? If you'd rather be
you,
then why are you here at all? Why do you need
me
?”

I opened my mouth and shut it again. I was so angry that I thought I was going to ignite with fury. But instead, when I heard myself speak, my voice was low and as cold as ice. I took a step nearer to Anne-Marie.

“I don't need you, Anne-Marie. And Nydia doesn't need you either.” I looked her up and down. “We're here because we thought you could help me with something I thought was important. But do you know what you've made me realize? Nothing is so important that I have to listen to you slag off my best friend.

Nydia is worth a thousand of you. She is a kind and generous person—a person who'd be your friend even after all the things you've said and done to her. She's a person who'd always be there for you if you needed her, and always listen to you even if most of the time you talked rubbish. But you just throw all that back in her face, time after time. I don't care if you tell the whole school about this; I don't care if everyone laughs at me for the rest of my life. I'd rather have Nydia as my friend than be in the same room with you for one second longer. You're just a nasty, spoiled, arrogant, heartless cow—so mean and spiteful that even your own family doesn't want to live with you. You don't know what real friendship is.” I picked up my bag. “Come
on
, Nydia, we're going.”

But Nydia didn't move. Instead she looked anxiously at Anne-Marie, whose evil-genius face had crumpled a bit. “Come
on
, Nydia!” I said. She was taking the wind out of my dramatic exit.

Nydia went over to Anne-Marie. “Are you OK?” she asked her.

My jaw dropped. “What do you mean is
she
OK? Come on, let's go!”

Nydia shook her head and I looked at Anne-Marie. I could see she was shaking, that her lips were pressed tightly together and her eyes were glittering with tears.

She was trying not to cry. But she was. I'd made Anne-Marie Chance cry but, strangely, instead of feeling triumphant about it, I felt rather uncomfortable and guilty.

Nydia put her hand on Anne-Marie's shoulder. “Ruby didn't mean any of that stuff she said, you know,” she told Anne-Marie gently.

“Uh, I did, actually,” I pointed out, but Nydia ignored me.

“She did,” Anne-Marie agreed, sniffling. “And she's right. My parents don't want to live with me.”

“I'm sure they do!” Nydia said hastily. “Is that why you're upset? Because of what Ruby said about your parents? Not all the other stuff?”

Anne-Marie lifted her chin defiantly. “That's all true too,” she said, “but I don't care.”

“Don't you?” Nydia asked. “It's just that it's hard to understand sometimes why you hate us so much.” Her brows furrowed and she continued softly. “What gives you the right to talk to us the way you do, call us names, make things up about us and get all your friends to ignore us? What have we ever done to you?”

Anne-Marie rubbed her eyes with the heels of her palms. “Go on, tell us,” Nydia said, “because I'd really like to know.”

Michael took a cautious step closer to Anne-Marie and Nydia. I think he could sense some serious girls' stuff approaching.

“So …should I go, then?” he asked awkwardly. “I mean, if you're going to do all this girly stuff? I'll just leave, shall I?”

Anne-Marie turned her face away from him. “Yes, just go, Michael,” she said. “Just go.” He sloped out of her room, winking at me as he left. He wouldn't win any awards for being a supportive boyfriend, that's for sure.

Anne-Marie looked at me and then Nydia. “It's you two,” she said. “You think you're so special—better than the rest of us.”

I nearly fell over with surprise.

“Pardon?” I asked sarcastically. “I think you'll find that's you.” Nydia shot me a look and I shrugged. “Well, it's true,” I mumbled.

“No,” Anne-Marie said, looking right at me. “It's
you
—especially you—the TV star. You swan around school like you own the place, like you're better than everybody else because you've already made it. And you're always going on and on about how many fan letters you have to answer each week or what you have to wear to an awards ceremony, and complaining because people stop you in the street and ask for your autograph! Poor little you. Boo hoo.” She sniffed and sat up a little straighter.

“I don't!” I protested, looking at Nydia and wondering exactly why we hadn't made our exit when we should have, right after my brilliant speech. “I mean, I sometimes talk about it to Nydia because, well, it really
can
be hard sometimes. I don't do it to show off. I don't do it like that!” I looked at Nydia. “Do I?”

She pursed her lips and looked at the ceiling for a second. “Sometimes, you might come across a bit like that—even if you don't mean to.” She added on the last bit hurriedly. “I think it's sort of a defense mechanism.”

“Nydia, I don't!” I glanced at Anne-Marie, who was looking decidedly self-righteous.

“Look,” Nydia said. “All I'm saying, Ruby, is that in a room full of people who'd give their right arm to be doing what you're doing, moaning because people ask you for your autograph could
possibly
be considered to be a bit …stuck-up.” Then she gave me a huge grin as if she had just said something completely different.

“You're supposed to be on
my
side,” I said, feeling hurt and confused. “I just stood up for you. Big time!”

“I know,” Nydia said, crossing the room to where I stood. “And that was really cool. It meant a lot to me, Ruby. It's just—wouldn't it be better at school if we could get along with everyone else? I'm tired of being treated like I'm nothing. I just thought that maybe …” Nydia shrugged and trailed off.

“OK,” I said. “OK, maybe I do come across like that. But what about you, Anne-Marie? What about all the horrible things you've said to me and to Nydia? We don't deserve any of that.” I gestured around at her huge bedroom. “I mean, look at all this! You've got everything anyone could want. You don't even have to try to get what you want; your daddy will just give it to you. You've got
everything
.”

Anne-Marie shook her head and dropped her chin, mumbling something under her breath.

“Pardon?” I asked impatiently.

“No, I haven't,” Anne-Marie said a little louder. “I haven't got everything anyone could want. I've a big house and lots of things, that's true. But I've got all this
instead
of the things you have. You were right about my parents. Do you know the last time I saw my mum? February—for forty-two minutes in the Heathrow first-class lounge, in between one flight coming and one going. She gave me a bottle of Ralph Lauren perfume for my birthday. My birthday isn't until August, but I won't be seeing her before then, apparently.”

Nydia and I looked at each other. That was pretty harsh.

“And my dad is always in LA. I mean, he's supposed to come back and see me once a month—and he does come back to England—but he's always out wheeling and dealing and seeing all his contacts and working. I see him for about half an hour a day while he's here, if I'm lucky, and even then he's usually on the phone. My parents don't even see each other. And my brother—well, he's old enough to be able to get out, and he does. That just leaves me and Pilar alone in this house. And Pilar's great, but it's not the same as having a mum to talk to.”

I thought about the way I used to tell my mum everything and I almost felt sorry for Anne-Marie. It was strange seeing her like this—one minute being her good old evil self, the next looking and acting like, well, a normal girl.

“But I thought you said you liked it,” I asked the normal-girl version, cautiously. “You said you could do what you want.”

Anne-Marie sighed. “It's no fun being able to do what you want when there's no one around to tell you not to,” she said.

Nydia sat next to her on the bed. “I'm sorry,” Nydia said. “That must be hard. I don't know what I'd do without my mum and dad.”

I sighed. I supposed I knew deep down that Mum and Dad
did
love me, even if it looked like they really weren't going to be together anymore. At least I knew if I needed one or both of them, they'd be there for me. If what she said was true, Anne-Marie didn't have that.

“I'm sorry too,” I said hesitantly. “Parents are a nightmare, aren't they? Nydia thinks hers are too lovey-dovey and mine are splitting up.”

Anne-Marie looked at me. “Oh, I didn't know, Ruby. That must be tough,” she said with concern. I covered my surprise.

“It's all right,” I said. “But, anyway, having stupid parents doesn't make it OK for you to pick on us, does it? It's not a good reason. I've got stupid parents and you don't see me going around making you cry …” I looked at Anne-Marie's tearstained face. “Much. I mean, which Anne-Marie is the real Anne-Marie? The one who goes parading around school like the Queen of Sheba? Or you, like you are now? Nice. Ish.”

“I don't know,” Anne-Marie finally said after a long pause. She looked up at Nydia. “Everyone—all the girls, I mean—expects me to be a certain way. Everyone expects me to be funny and the leader. You two—you're just easy targets, that's all. And, well, you make it easy. Especially you, Nydia. You never fight back. You're too nice.”

Nydia's eyes widened. “You hate me because I'm too
nice
?” she asked in disbelief. “Not because I'm fat, or black, or don't live in a big house like yours. You hate me because I'm nice?” Nydia shook her head. “I don't understand. Why would anybody hate someone because they're nice? Are you saying that if I was cruel and a bully like you and your friends that you'd like me? Is that what you're saying?”

Anne-Marie shifted uncomfortably on the bed. “I …no …I don't know, OK? Sometimes you can sort of forget a person has feelings. You sort of forget they're real, and being mean becomes a habit.” Anne-Marie bit her lip and held out a hand for Nydia to shake. “I'm sorry, Nydia. I really am. I hear myself sometimes and I think, what a nasty cow! And then I realize that it's
me
talking. I don't know how I got to be like that, but I'm sorry. I really am.” Then Anne-Marie looked up at me.

“And I'm sorry for what I've done to you too, Ruby. I suppose that …” She looked down. “I suppose I was jealous of everything you've got. I suppose that's the real reason I haven't been nice to you. You've got this incredible role and all that fame—everything that I want. But you say you don't know which is the real me? Well, I didn't know the real you, until tonight. I still don't, really.”

I plumped down onto the bed and the three of us sat side by side, looking at our feet.

“I'm sorry too,” I said after a while, “for calling you all those names. I suppose I don't really know you properly either.”

Anne-Marie nodded. “It's like we haven't been going to school together at all!”

We all looked at our feet for a moment longer.

“So what now?” Nydia asked.

“Well, I don't know about you two,” I said, “but I think we should call off the kissing practice.”

Nydia and Anne-Marie chuckled.

“Michael's run a mile anyway,” Nydia said. “You must have scared him off, Ruby!”

“It doesn't take much to scare him,” Anne-Marie said ruefully. “He's not exactly romantic-hero material. I'm thinking of chucking him anyway. He's nice-looking and everything, but he checks out his reflection more than me.”

We all chuckled again.

“Um, I think we should tell you,” Nydia said, “as we're making a clean start. We made up the bit about getting you an interview for the show. That was a total lie.”

I rolled my eyes. I'm sure we could have left that detail out and it wouldn't have mattered.

“Yeah?” Anne-Marie didn't seem too surprised. “Oh well. I didn't really think you had any influence in casting, Ruby. And I was going to tell everyone about your kissing practice at school anyway.”

I thought about being offended, then decided I couldn't be bothered.

“We're idiots, aren't we?” I said. “A bunch of stupid girls behaving like morons.”

“Yeah,” Nydia said.

“We are,” Anne-Marie agreed. Then she paused as if considering something. “I know,” she said finally. “Let's send out for pizza and watch DVDs instead.”

“Good plan,” Nydia and I said together.

Anne-Marie smiled. “Hanging out with two losers—I'm never going to live this down!”

Chapter Seventeen

A
nd from then on, everything started changing. Remember that down escalator that I kept trying to run up, which never got me anywhere? Well, after that night at Anne-Marie's house it changed direction. It started going up and up faster and faster—and even if I wanted to, I couldn't get off.

There was nothing I could do to change my life back to the way it had always been, and there was nothing I could do to stop it from changing—or to stop
me
from changing either. There was no way that Mum and Dad were going to fall back in love with each other, even if they both still loved me; I was slowly beginning to see that. And funnily enough, it was because of Anne-Marie. When she talked about her parents, I could see that my dad
did
love me, even if he couldn't stay when I asked him. I was still angry with him—still angry that he couldn't just stay at home and keep things the way they used to be—but I knew he loved me and that I was lucky. Because when the anger and the hurt had died down, he would still love me. I was luckier than Anne-Marie and I was luckier than Naomi, whose letter I still hadn't answered. Neither one of them knew that they were loved like I did.