Ruby Parker Hits the Small Time (16 page)

But by twenty past one, he still hadn't arrived.

Even though I've been quite a lucky person, I'm not an optimistic one. I always think things are going to go wrong, so that when they don't it's a nice surprise. But all I'd been worried about today was having the right look on my face when Justin arrived. It never occurred to me that he wasn't going to arrive at all. It never occurred to me that, on my very first date, I'd get stood up—even if it wasn't, strictly speaking, a date.

It was a quarter till two when I fully realized what had happened. He wasn't coming. He wasn't delayed, he hadn't said another time, he didn't mean another day or even another place. He just wasn't coming.

I didn't know what to do. I hadn't prepared a face for being stood up. I stared at the tabletop, feeling frozen to the spot. The restaurant was busier now, and if I walked past all these people on my own, then they'd know I'd been stood up.

But then Cassie appeared with a huge smile on her face and I knew that he'd arrived. Justin had actually arrived!

“I hope he's worth the wait!” she said, and she stepped aside to reveal …

Danny.

“Danny!” I exclaimed. Just for a second I was disappointed, and then I realized I'd never been so glad to see anyone in my life. I could have flung my arms around his neck and kissed him—if only I'd known how to kiss a boy, that is. He sat down opposite me, his cheeks glowing.

“What are you doing here?” I looked around. The booth was completely secluded. There was no way he could have seen me from the street. He shifted a little in his seat. “You look really …nice,” he said. “Um, anyway, Justin just called me. He said he'd …” Danny looked at me. “He said something really important had come up and he didn't have your number, so he asked me to come by and apologize for him. He knew I lived nearby.” Danny dropped his gaze to the cutlery on the table. “He said he's really sorry, so …”

I beamed at him. Not only had he saved me from walking out of here on my own, but he'd brought me the news I'd wanted to hear: that Justin hadn't forgotten about me, but that he just couldn't come because of something really,
really
important. And he'd worried about me so much that he'd gone to the trouble of calling Danny and asking him to come and tell me in person. He really cared. I felt all glowy inside. Maybe he was chucking his stupid girlfriend right now.

I looked at my watch. “Oh, well, thanks for letting me know, Danny,” I said. “I'm not supposed to be at my dad's until three. I suppose I could go back home …” I thought about my mum and all her questions. Even if
I
knew that Justin technically hadn't stood me up, other people might not see it in quite the same way. I'd have to tell Nydia and Anne-Marie later, I supposed. They would be dying to know how it went. They'd be so disappointed that it was only Danny who'd turned up. Strangely, I wasn't that disappointed.

“Have you eaten?” Danny asked me tentatively. My stomach growled.

“Oh, God, no—I'm starving!” I laughed, and he smiled back at me.

“We could share a pizza if you like.” He dug into his pocket and clattered a five-pound note and some change onto the table. “I think I've got enough for half a pizza.”

I grinned at him.

“OK,” I said. “Why not?”

If I've learned one thing over the last few days it's that people aren't always how they seem. After talking to Anne-Marie, I realized she thought I was a vain cow who loved herself for being on the telly.
Me!
And all this time I'd thought she was a vain cow who loved herself for being thin and pretty.
Her!
And she didn't know that Nydia was a lovely, funny girl with a huge heart and the best imagination for ridiculous plans whom anyone could ever hope to meet. And until I really talked to Anne-Marie—and then Danny—I thought that everyone's parents were like Nydia's: two good friends who loved each other and would always be together. I didn't realize that Nydia's parents are actually really,
really
unusual.

Danny told me all about his parents' divorce and his two bedrooms in two houses, and the every-otherweekend he spends with his dad and his dad's new family.

“Isn't it weird though?” I asked him. “Isn't it horrible?” Danny shrugged and looked up at me through his thick, brown lashes. I'd never noticed them before. My tummy fluttered. It must have been the pizza giving me indigestion. I'd been so hungry that I'd eaten too quickly.

“Oh, well, yes, of course it was weird at first,” Danny told me. He had a nice voice, I noticed—sort of gentle and quiet. “But my little stepbrother is quite cool. We have a laugh. And Dad is different now. He used to be angry all the time. Now he's just …well, he's just Dad.”

I thought about the strain and tension that had stretched over our house for a long time now. Even with all the pain and change that had come with Dad leaving, at least the tension between him and Mum was gone. I thought I understood what Danny meant.

Danny gave me one of his sweet half-smiles. “It
will
be all right,” he said.

“Yes.” I sighed. “That's what everyone keeps saying.”

“That's because everyone is right,” he said. And when
he
said it, I believed it might be true.

We piled all our cash onto the table and even left Cassie a thirty-four–pence tip. And without me asking him to, Danny walked me to my dad's flat. I looked up at the second-floor window where Dad was waiting for me.

“It's funny,” I said to Danny. “I've walked past this place hundreds of times and I've never even looked at it. And now this is where my dad lives. This is where I'll be coming to see him. I'm going to get to know this place really well.”

I looked up at Danny, who was standing quite close to me. “But I guess it will be all right,” I said, remembering what he told me.

“It will,” he said. And just then, when he looked at me, I thought he was going to kiss me. I panicked, took a quick step back, and looked around as I felt my cheeks begin to burn.

“Um …so …anyway, thanks for coming!” I said. “To tell me about Justin, I mean,” I added quickly. “Um, so, I'd better go in now.”

Danny's face blazed with color. I couldn't decide if I'd imagined that moment or not. I didn't really have any experience with that kind of moment—at least not in real life.

“No problem,” he said miserably, looking at the pavement. “Ruby …?”

I backed away from him another couple of steps and looked at the door. My heart was racing.

“Yes?” I asked with a brittle smile. Danny looked up at me and then shook his head.

“Oh, nothing. It doesn't matter. I'll see you on the set.” He turned and, shoving his hands deep into his pockets, quickly walked away.

I stood outside the front door and waited for a long time until my heart slowed down and I could breathe again. I didn't understand the heart-thundering, fizzy dizziness. It couldn't have been Danny who made me feel like that. It must have been nerves about seeing Dad in his new place. And indigestion. Nerves and indigestion, that was it.

I looked down the street and saw Danny disappear around the corner. It couldn't be because of Danny since it was Justin who I was in love with, after all.

At last I rang the doorbell to Dad's flat, and, after a few seconds, I went in. I walked into the place where he now lived without me.

It was all right at Dad's place in the end. For the first few minutes none of it seemed real. And, anyway, half of me was still standing on the pavement outside, wondering if Danny really
had
been about to kiss me—and wondering what would have happened if I hadn't taken that quick step back.

Dad sat me down on a worn-out beige sofa and went into the small kitchen that led off the living room.

“Fancy a juice?” he called out to me.

“Yeah, OK,” I said. I looked around. It was a small room with a big bay window wreathed in gray, decaying net curtains that made the room seem darker than it was. It was strange to see Dad's jacket laid across the back of an unfamiliar chair and his shoes kicked under someone else's fold-down table.

“So what do you think?” Dad asked, gesturing around the room.

I looked up at him.

“I don't know,” I said honestly. “I suppose it will be OK once you've cleaned it and taken down those curtains.”

Dad sat down next to me and looked at me closely.

“It's OK, Dad,” I told him. “I'm not going to cry or anything.”

He sort of smiled and handed me a glass of weak orange squash. I looked at it; I hadn't drunk orange squash since I was about eight years old. But I suppose it was never Dad who got me drinks; it was always Mum. Why would he even know? At least now he'd start to learn more things about me—small things he never knew before, like the fact that I only drink
fresh
juice.

“I've missed you,” Dad said.

“Have you?” I replied quickly. “I thought you would have been too busy with your girlfriend.” I didn't mean to be cruel; it just came out before I could stop it.

Dad sighed. “She's not my girlfriend, Ruby. Sally's just …a friend.”

I shrugged and chewed my lip. It was weird to be in a strange room, not knowing what to say to my own dad.

“How's Everest?” Dad asked me. “Still eating us out of house and home?” I smiled because only that morning Everest had jumped on the kitchen counter and taken two slices of toast straight out of the toaster. He must be the only cat in the world who loves to hunt bread. That's probably because he's lazy and can't be bothered to chase anything that might actually move.

“Yeah, he is,” I said without elaborating. After all, it wasn't “us” Everest was eating out of house and home. It was just me and Mum now.

There was another long moment of silence.

“I heard this great joke this morning. Shall I tell it to you?” Dad asked me hopefully. I looked at him.

“No,” I said. His face fell. “No, Dad, it's not that I don't want to hear it, but it's just that …well, don't you think it's pointless pretending that all this is fine and normal? It's going to take a long time for me to get my head around this. I
think
I'm beginning to realize that it will be OK in the end, that one day all this will make sense to me and be normal. But it won't happen just like that. I won't just feel better over a glass of orange squash and some bad jokes. There are all these things going through my head, around and around in circles. If we pretend everything's all right, it never will be. We need to talk about it, Dad.”

Dad leaned his forehead against mine and put his arm around my shoulder. “You're right, Ruby,” he said.

“I'm not sure when it was you got so wise, but you're right.”

He hugged me close to him and, for the first time since the night he told me he was going, he felt like my dad again.

“And, Dad?” I told him. “I've missed you too.”

Ruby Parker

Dear Naomi,

I'm so sorry it's taken me this long to write back to
you. When I first got your letter it felt a bit strange
because you were right—I do know what you're going
through, but not because of what's happened to Angel
on the show. It's because my mum and dad are splitting
up too.

It hurts, doesn't it? I know it has hurt me very
much. But even though I still wish I could make
things go back to the way they were before, I know
that I can't. I'm still sad about it—and scared and
angry—but at least now I know how things are going
to be.

It must be very difficult for you. It sounds like
your mum and dad are really angry at each other
and they're putting you in the middle of it. I don't
think that either one of them really knows how much
this is affecting you or your brother. If they did, I'm
sure they would stop and try to work things out. It
sounds like they don't really think this is happening to
you too. You could try to talk to them and explain
how you feel, but if they are too angry and too hurt
to listen, then find another adult to talk to—someone
who will speak to them for you. But most of all,
remember that everything that is happening is happening
to you, not because of you. It will be all right
one day, Naomi. I don't know when, but I know that
it will be.

Please write to me again and let me know how
you are.

Ruby x

Chapter Nineteen

C
laire was finishing off my hair by running a pair of straighteners through it.

“Nervous?” she asked my reflection in the mirror. I thought about it. In about twenty minutes, my lips—Ruby Parker's—would be meeting the lips of Justin de Souza.

“No,” I said, and strangely it was true.

Claire smiled and shook her head as if she didn't believe me. “They really think a lot of you here, you know. Don't be nervous: If you can survive Brett, you can survive a kiss scene, believe me.”

I frowned at her reflection in the mirror.

“I don't think you should be rude about Brett, Claire,” I said. “I know you both have your differences, but …well, she's done a lot for me.”

Claire set down the straighteners and crossed her arms.

“You really must be an angel, the way you look up to Brett. And after everything she's done to you!” She gave a little shrug. “And, anyway, she doesn't pay my wages anymore. You may have noticed that I'm not exclusively her makeup designer now, which is why I'm doing you today. I resigned and told Liz I'd work on the show only on the condition that I don't have to work with that miserable old cow.”