Ruined (A Dark Alpha Billionaire Romance) (12 page)

Once we were back inside, Blake took my hand and led me up the stairs, and down a hallway that I hadn’t yet explored.

“Where are we going?” I asked, hurrying to keep up with his broad strides.

“I’m taking you to my room. It has been a struggle to keep my hands off you all day, Grace. I can’t help myself any longer.”

I felt my heart beating hard against my chest as we stopped in front of a large, wooden door. Blake pulled out a key from his pocket and deftly unlocked the bolt, pulling the great door open to reveal his bedroom.

I don’t know why I expected a simple male bedroom, similar to Daniel’s dorm in Mercy River, but the expansive suite took my breath away. The room was masculine, but light and airy. The large bed had silky silver sheets and a simple blue blanket, but the furnishings were all ornate and silver. I walked into the large room, looking around in awe. At the far end, the room opened onto a large balcony that overlooked the grounds of the Harrison Estate and let a cool breeze into the room. Over to the side, there was long metal bar, filled with fancy crystal decanters of what looked like very sophisticated liquors. On each side of the room, there were doors that led to adjoining rooms.

“This is incredible,” I breathed, admiring the beautiful artwork hanging on his wall.

“You are incredible. Grace, you are beautiful and you ignite something in me. I can’t help myself.” He strode towards me and put his hand to the side of my face, leaning it up so he could press my lips into a warm, passionate kiss.

I felt the newly familiar stir of excitement in my core as Blake pushed his body up tightly to me, his hard muscles pressing into my softer, more delicate body. I couldn’t stop the small moan of desire that passed my lips.

Blake’s strong hands slid down the sides of my body, to the inward curve of my waist. He gripped me tightly and then suddenly pulled me up into the air as if I weighed nothing.

I yelped then laughed as he carried me in his strong arms and plopped me onto the plush blanket covering his tall, king-sized bed. I reached my hand out for him, but Blake was already standing at the edge.

He reached forward and grabbed my ankles, gently but firmly pulling me towards him until my ass was at the edge of the bed and he was standing between my bent legs. My silky dress rode up around my waist, exposing the fancy black lace panties that I had put on earlier.

I smiled up at him, but he looked down at me with an expression filled with dark desire. I felt a tug in my core as he stared down at me as if I were a delicious piece of meat and he was a hungry lion. My core constricted and I felt the warm rush of wetness under my panties.

“I need to taste you, Grace,” his deep voice whispered hoarsely. His hand moved between my legs, deftly pulling aside the flimsy wet material that covered my little slit.

I realized what he meant and felt the room draw in closer as my wetness spread, dripping down my now exposed slit and covering my little pink lips. He wanted to taste me and I wanted to feel his mouth on me so badly.

He knelt down do his face was now level with my exposed pussy, and pressed his strong, clean-shaven face against my little mound. His strong, soft lips pressed against my sensitive, aroused clit, sending shivers of intense desire through my entire body.

I leaned back and closed my eyes as he gently licked my tiny nub, pressing his lips and tongue against my most sensitive area. As his mouth worked magic on my body, Blake Harrison brought his hand to my opening and felt the spreading wetness there.

“Fuck, you are so wet for me, Grace. I love feeling it, seeing how much you want me.” His fingers plunged deep into my slit, pressing into my core as he licked me voraciously.

My body squirmed and shook as my desire quickly climbed to new heights. He knew my body already, could play it like a violin. I was putty in his hands and I couldn’t control myself. I cried out as his fingers fucked me hard and his mouth drew circles of hot, sizzling pleasure around my throbbing clit.

In one massive explosion, my body burst with new energy as my orgasm rocked my core. I shook uncontrollably and cried out as my body fell into quivering waves of pleasure. The waves came on strong, then ebbed, until finally the last ones lapped at my fingers and toes and I lay in a shaky, breathy mess on Blake’s bed.

I pulled myself up onto my elbows and looked down to see Blake grinning at me from between my legs. His smile was so sweet, proud, and infections. I couldn’t help grinning back.

“Not bad,” I said to him sweetly, trying to keep a straight face.

“Only not bad, huh?” he asked with a laugh. “Well, I guess I’ll have to try even harder next time.”

“Don’t!” I protested, as I pulled myself to my feet next to him. “I might die from pleasure.”

“Well, we wouldn’t want that,” Blake agreed. “I guess I’ll keep my tongue to myself from now on.”

“No!” I cried out. “I would die from that too! I like your tongue. Very much. Very, very much.” I slid down to the floor next to him and placed my hand between his legs, feeling his hard bulge pressing against the fabric of his pants. “Almost as much as I like this.”

Blake groaned as I rubbed the bulge that was growing bigger and harder with each gentle touch of my fingers. I wanted to make him feel that same explosive pleasure that he made me feel. And some part of me, a part I hadn’t even known existed before now, wanted to have that complete power over him as well.

I pulled down the zipper that trapped his hard cock, looking up at him seductively and letting the strap of my dress fall down my shoulder so a peek of my black lacey bra showed through, framing my soft, white cleavage.

I saw the way his face tensed, and desire lit up his sharp green eyes. His eyes fell down the curve of my breast and he groaned, closing his eyes as I reached down to touch his newly freed cock. It was even bigger than I remembered, long and thick, with a small bead of liquid at the tip.

I lowered my head down, pressing my lips against the tip, and tentatively licking the tiny drop. It tasted salty, like sex and masculinity. I wanted more of him. I wanted to taste every bit of him. I pressed my lips down, pushing his shaft deep into my mouth.

Blake groaned a deep, raspy sound as he reached out and gripped a handful of my long hair. He gripped it tightly as I sucked on him, then gently pushed it behind my ear.

“I want to watch,” he whispered. “I love seeing your soft pink lips against my cock.”

I flipped my hair over my shoulder, then gripped the thick base of his shaft, holding it firmly while I sucked hard on his tip. I licked the soft, smooth skin, tasting the delicious, masculine flavor of Blake’s hard cock.

He groaned and reached out, pushing my dress down further so my whole, black-lace covered breast was visible. His hand shook as he gently caressed the soft skin, carefully massaging my breast as it spilled out of its lacey cage.

I pushed him in deeper, harder, sucking his cock as I pressed it into my throat. I could feel Blake becoming frenzied, his breathing fast and shallow as I sucked him hard.

“Fuck, I’m going to cum now, Grace.” He groaned and I felt his cock tightening. “You can pull it out if you don’t want to taste it.”

But I wanted it. I wanted to taste all of Blake Harrison. I wanted to suck the cum right out of his cock. I felt him tighten in my mouth and then release, shooting spurts of hot liquid down my throat. I swallowed, tasting the creamy, delicious flavor of Blake’s seed. I pulled back, releasing his cock as it shot out the final spurts of creamy liquid, covering my lips and breasts with the final dribbles.

We both crumpled to the ground, satisfied and exhausted. I turned to look at Blake, who was finally catching his breath, and grinned mischievously as I wiped his cum off my face.

“I think I need a shower. Would you like to join me?”  I asked sweetly.

“That’s an excellent plan,” Blake replied, standing up and then reaching down to help me to my feet.

I yawned as we walked over to his marble bathroom and he turned on the shower, which fell in a waterfall from the ceiling. I looked up at it, impressed by the beauty of the design.

“Are you tired?” Blake asked, helping me into the steaming water after I shimmied out of the dress and lingerie. “You can go back to your room whenever you like.”

“Oh no, I’m alright.” I lathered my body with soap, sneaking glances at his strong, muscular body as he pulled off his clothes and walked into the shower next to me. “I’ll wait until you are tired so we can snuggle up before sleeping.”

Blake froze, every muscle in his body tensing as he turned away from me. “Grace, you can’t stay here tonight. You need to sleep in your own room.”

I felt the hot tears spring to my eyes before I could stop them. I hoped the water disguised them, but I turned away from him anyway. He spoke to me like I was a child, trying to climb into her parents’ bed after a nightmare. Why wouldn’t he let me stay?

Instead of pressing him further, I rinsed myself off in silence, waiting for him to give me some type of explanation. The explanation never came. I stepped out of the shower and looked back at Blake. He exited and grabbed two of the soft grey towels hanging on the towel warmer next to the shower.

I bit my lip, wanting to say something, but too afraid that I would only make things worse. Blake’s face was impassive, but I could never predict the swing in his emotions and I didn’t want to upset him right now.

“Here, let me help you.” His face was soft as he gently toweled me off, paying careful attention to my back and shoulders.

I couldn’t help a small smile at his earnest attempt, but I still felt a constricting in my heart as I pulled my clothes back on and watched Blake wrap his own towel around his waist. I wanted to yell at him, to cry, to run my hands over his hard abs. I was so confused and I couldn’t sort out any of it.

“Goodnight, Blake,” I mumbled, walking towards the bedroom door.

He reached out and grabbed my hand in his, pulling me back around to face him. He stared straight into my eyes with those deep green pools, his eyes trying to tell me something that I couldn’t understand. “Goodnight, Grace.” He pressed his lips against mine in a soft, sweet kiss, before letting go.

I walked back to my room in a daze, trying to get a grip on what I was feeling. My emotions swirled and roiled inside of me. It felt like there was a piece of the puzzle missing and once I found it, everything would fall into place. 

There was something about Blake Harrison that I didn’t understand, and I needed to understand  all of him. He was the most interesting, handsome, sexual, intelligent, and generous man I had ever met. He was also the most emotional, cold, closed off, angry, enigmatic man I had ever met. I needed to break through those barriers so I could reach him on a deeper level.

As I walked into my room and closed the door behind me, I decided that my next project would be Blake Harrison. I would investigate him, research him, and figure out what I was missing so I could finally understand my lover.

First, I needed to sleep. I slipped into my pajamas and crawled into my soft bed with a renewed sense of purpose. Tomorrow, I would find the key to unlocking Blake Harrison.

Chapter 8.

“What’s wrong dear?” Jane’s wrinkles settled into a concerned expression as she watched me push around my oatmeal.

I briefly considered lying and telling her that everything was fine, but I had always been a terrible liar and knew she would see right through my fake smile. I was pretty sure that Jane knew more than she was letting on about Blake’s demons, and maybe I could convince her to tell me something that would help me in my search.

“I want to understand him,” I said quietly, being careful with my words because I wasn’t sure how much she knew about the extent of my relationship with our employer and how much I should reveal. “I know he is struggling with something and it hurts him, but he won’t let me in so I can’t do anything to help him.” I let out a small sigh and put down my spoon, looking up into Jane’s kind, weathered face for an answer to my millions of questions.

Jane looked at me carefully, weighing something in her mind as she slowly folded a pile of cloth napkins that were piled on the table. She didn’t say a word for a few agonizing minutes as she smoothed down the cloth and lined up the corner of the napkin in her usual, meticulous manner. Just as I was about to give up hope that she would help me, Jane put down the cloth and reached out to touch my hand. Her skin felt so soft and powdery, her pores so tiny and delicate, that I couldn’t help but wonder just how old she was and why she was working for Blake Harrison.

“My dear, Blake Harrison has many secrets that aren’t mine to tell, and he spent a great deal of effort and money to keep them hidden from the media. But if you want to understand him better, I suggest you start by doing research on Lily Dover.” Jane picked up her pile of folded napkins and started humming a quiet little song while she organized them into smaller piles.

I wanted to thank her for the tip, but I got the distinct feeling that the conversation was over. Jane stared intently at her work while I quickly finished my breakfast and hurried to drop my dishes on the counter so I could get to work.

I glanced back at Jane one more time, but she didn’t look in my direction, so I rushed back up the stairs and down the hallway, to where I had left my laptop in my room. When I opened the door, I found that all the bags and boxes of clothing that Blake had purchased for me were now neatly arranged in the corner of my room, along with a few new boxes as well. I couldn’t help a small smile at his thoughtfulness and generosity. Blake was a strange, tortured soul, but he was also a kind and thoughtful man. And now I had a lead to help me in my quest to understand my tortured, mercurial lover.

I grabbed my laptop and headed off to the library, hoping that Blake wouldn’t summon me for any projects until I had the chance to do my research. I sat down in my usual spot at the long wooden table and took a deep breath. Part of me felt guilty for trying to dig into Blake’s past when he clearly did not want me to know his secrets. But I wanted to understand him and to help him. I needed to know why he remained so closed off from me, while still being such a kind, generous lover. I felt I had a right to know why my lover was the way he was.

I pulled up the internet and quickly typed “Lily Dover” into the search bar. A few pages of hits came up. I looked over them, my eyes settling on the third result.

Blake Harrison, the up-and-coming founder of Harrison Media, weds longtime sweetheart Lily Dover.

I looked over the article from a small, local Connecticut newspaper, which detailed their intimate wedding at a country club. The article was dated almost twenty years ago, when Blake was just starting Harrison Media and before he became a billionaire.

I clicked through the related articles, which detailed Blake and Lily Harrison’s appearances at various media and charity events and parties over the next few years as Harrison Media blossomed into an international success. None of those articles helped explain Blake’s demons or what happened with Lily, so I returned to the search results.

The first page of results contained mostly information about other people, or Lily’s accomplishments as an artist before she met Blake Harrison. I gathered from glancing over them that Lily was a talented sculptor and architect, but something had happened to halt her burgeoning career.

I was frustrated that I was no closer to figuring out what had happened, when I suddenly had a thought. I searched “Lily Dover divorce and/or tragedy” and then sorted the results by date. The first result was a redacted court document. I clicked on it, hoping I could make sense of the dense language.

My eyes scanned over the first few pages until they landed on a sentence that sent a shiver through my body that chilled me to my core, despite the warm autumn air that filled the library.

The petitioner [name redacted] asks the court to seal the records regarding Lily Dover’s mental breakdown and murder of their two young children, as he is a prominent member of society and wishes to avoid media attention. He is not immediately seeking a divorce and will agree to pay all costs for her institutionalization, so long as he remains out of the public record.

I read over it again, the chill seeping deeper into my bones as I finally understood what demons haunted Blake Harrison. His wife didn’t die, nor did she divorce him. She had killed their two young children in a fit of madness and left Blake to pick up the pieces of his shattered life. My heart ached for him, as I thought of the happy life he must have had with Lily, the smiling brunette from the photos, and their two young children, and how horrible it must have been when he realized she had betrayed him in the most awful way, by killing their own children.

What would make a woman kill her own children? I couldn’t understand. I wanted to ask Jane, but she had made it clear that she was not willing to give me any further information. I stared bleakly at my computer screen, trying to decide my next move. Could I hide my newfound knowledge from Blake? Should I? I felt more lost than I had since escaping Mercy River and I had no idea what to do.

I clicked on my email, suddenly missing the people I had always turned to when I needed help. I had been carefully avoiding my old email account, not ready to explain my decisions, and my new life, to my friends and family back in Mercy River. Now, I suddenly felt a huge void where they had been. I needed someone to turn to, to help me decide what to do with this horrible information that I had found.

I clicked on my inbox and saw the page filled with emails. There was one from my parents, simply asking me to come home and promising to help me redeem my soul. I immediately clicked that email shut, feeling the old, familiar pounding in my heart whenever my parents scolded me. I no longer wanted to let them make me feel small and worthless. They wouldn’t understand, and they wouldn’t help me.

I scanned the page, seeing dozens of emails from Daniel. My finger hovered over my keyboard and I felt a swell of confused emotions. Daniel had always been the person I had turned to when I had questions of faith or needed advice, but he was part of the past that had repressed me. I couldn’t ask my ex-boyfriend for help with what to do with my new lover.

I wanted to read his emails, to soak in his comforting words. Maybe he had begged for my forgiveness, told me he understood that I needed more from life than Mercy River could offer, promised to join me out in the world. As soon as my hopes rose, I knew they were false. I knew Daniel better than anyone, and he would never understand my need for a life outside of Mercy River and our small, stifling church. I knew what his emails would say. He would quote passages of scripture, tell me to come home and be his good and obedient wife, return to the fold. I couldn’t read those emails.

My eyes finally settled on the one email sent by best girl friend, Mary. She was always so much better at being obedient than me, helping me make the godly decisions, but she had been my friend despite my failings, despite questioning our faith and way of life, and she had always been there to support me. If there were anyone left for me to turn to, it would be Mary.

I quickly clicked her email, before I had the chance to look back at any of the other emails that might tempt me to take a quick peek.

Gracie,

I’m just writing to tell you that you are still in my heart and I miss you. In the past few months, I’ve come to understand what you have always tried to tell me. Mercy River isn’t the haven I always believed it to be. I met someone. He’s wild and crazy, and my parents completely disapprove. I think you would like him. I’m leaving with him, Gracie. I’m leaving Mercy River and I would never have had the courage to do it if you hadn’t left first. So thank you. I’m not sure where I’ll be, but email me and let me know how you have been and maybe we can figure out a way to meet up somewhere.

Your best friend forever,

Mary

I read over the email again, tears welling in my eyes. Mary had always been so good and obedient, and now she was finally free from that stifling prison of a town where we grew up. I was so happy for her. But I knew that it wasn’t right for me to turn to her now with my problem. She was busy forging her own new life, and I needed to figure out mine on my own.

I closed my laptop and blinked the tears from my eyes. I wanted to write back to my friend and congratulate her, but first I needed to make a decision about what to do with Blake Harrison’s secret. I couldn’t rely on anyone else to help me now.

Turning it over in my mind, I weighed the pros and cons of bringing it up with Blake. If I told him, he would probably be angry that I searched into his past, but I would at least be able to be honest with him. If I pretended I didn’t know, then we could go on as we had been, but the reason I had looked into his past in the first place was that I wasn’t fully satisfied with how we had been. I was used to keeping my own dark secrets, hidden from everyone in the world, but I didn’t want to lie to Blake. I couldn’t go back to being the scared, submissive girl who hides the dirty truth in order to make everyone else happy.

I knew what I had to do. I needed to be brave and take the risk of talking to him. I would have to deal with his reaction, whatever it would be. But first, I needed to delve further, to understand what had happened. I knew what to do, but I couldn’t help feeling a shiver of anxiety as I opened my laptop back up.

I pulled the long legal document back up and scanned through it until I found the financial details. As my eyes swept over the lines of financial details, I felt like I was still playing in a crazy world of wealth where I didn’t belong. Apparently Blake was paying thousands of dollars a day to keep his wife at a private mental institution in Connecticut. I did a search of the institution, Windy Hills, and found that it was only a twenty-minute drive from the Harrison Estate.

I glanced at the time. It was still late morning, and it didn’t seem like Blake was planning on giving me work to do today. I bit my lip, running over options in my head. I knew that I should probably take more time to carefully plan everything out, but I was afraid that if I had time to think, I would over rationalize, feel guilty, and then chicken out. I had to do it now.

I quickly searched for a local taxi company and made the call. Blake had told me that I could always use his driver, but I didn’t want this getting back to him until I had the chance to talk to him myself. Since Blake kept careful tabs on everyone, I was pretty sure the driver would be forced to tell his boss about where I was going.

By the time my taxi arrived, I was waiting anxiously by the gate, kicking the gravel as I started to second-guess my decision. My heart was thumping in my chest as I jumped in the back of the car and gave the old driver the address to Windy Hills Institution. I clutched my hands tightly in my lap, barely paying attention to the driver’s small talk as we drove off.