Ruined (A Dark Alpha Billionaire Romance) (13 page)

“I’m sorry, what was that?” My mind felt scattered, but I didn’t want to be rude to the one person who could get me to my destination.

“I said that was a nice house back there. Do you live there?” His eyes met mine in the rearview mirror, and I was relieved to see simple curiosity there, rather than the greed of someone willing to jack up the bill for an apparently rich girl.

“Sort of. Well, I’m working there and living there for the time being. And I’m going to visit a family friend.” I realized I was rambling and on the defensive for no reason. The cab driver didn’t care who I was visiting, but I suddenly felt worried that Blake Harrison’s reach was far enough that I would be caught before I even had the chance to get through my investigation.

The driver nodded and went back to listening to his oldies radio station. I was grateful for the distraction, and let my eyes close as I let the music crowd out my increasingly negative thoughts. It was too late to start second guessing myself now.

The car was slowing. My eyes snapped opened as we pulled through a gate marked “Windy Hills Institution for the Mentally Ill.” I could feel my heart’s hard pounding against my ribcage. I had made it. I was really here, and maybe now I could get some clarity on what had happened to Blake Harrison.

“I guess this is it?” The driver’s voice was filled with unasked questions, but I just nodded and handed him the fare.

I walked through a large set of doors and stopped to survey the lobby. There was a counter right in front of me, which seemed like the most promising place to start. A large woman sat at her desk behind a glass panel, smacking her gum and playing with her phone. I stood at the glass for a few minutes, but she ignored me and continued to furiously tap her phone’s screen. I cleared my throat loudly, hoping to get her attention.

“Yes?” she asked indignantly as she put her phone down and looked up at me for the first time.

“Um, I’m here to visit someone,” I explained, suddenly worried that my plan might not even work. What if they refused to let me see her? What if they immediately called Blake Harrison?

“Yeah ok, give me the name.” She popped another piece of gum in her mouth and turned to the shelf of files beside her.

“Lily Dover, my sister.” I replied confidently, hoping she wouldn’t question me any further.

“Alright, it says here that she is over in C Wing. So just follow those signs there and I’ll call ahead to have them bring her to the visiting area.” The woman turned away from me and I quickly walked to where she had pointed before she could think to question me any further.

The signs to C Wing were easy to follow, and after only a few turns I arrived at a locked door with a glass window marked “C Wing.” I pressed the buzzer next to the door and waiter as a nurse hurried over and opened the door.

“You are here to see Lily?” She asked as she held the door slightly ajar.

“Yes, that’s me.” I quickly concocted a story in my head about how I was her much younger sister who had been living out of the country for the past two years, but the nurse didn’t seem interested in investigating further. She pushed the door open and I walked into what looked like a drab living room.

I saw a bony woman with dull, wild brown hair huddled in a chair at the far end of the room. It took me a moment to realize that it was the same woman from the photos with Blake. Somehow that beautiful woman, who had looked so happy and filled with life, had transformed into the sad creature in front of me.

“Lily?” I asked gently, reaching my hand out to touch her slender arm. The skin felt so cold and fragile, but she turned to look at me.

I couldn’t stop myself from flinching when I saw her face. Her cheeks looked sunken and hollow, but her eyes were the most frightening. They looked like dark pools with no bottom, rimmed by red, with dark blue circles underneath that stood out against her pale skin.

“Who are you?” her voice was soft, almost child-like. I felt a strange mix of fear and pity as she stared into my face with those large, sad eyes.

“I’m a friend of your husband, Blake Harrison,” I responded in a shaky voice. “I came here to see you because I want to understand him better. Can you help me?”

Her face changed into a cruel smile that resembled a sneer as she looked me up and down. “Did he send you?” Her voice was mocking as she twisted her dried out hair in her fingers and looked me over.

“No, he doesn’t know I’m here. As I told you, I want to know him better.”

“He’s the devil you know.”  She leaned in and whispered to me, her eyes darting around the room. “I saw the evil and I had to kill it. I had to. I was only following God’s will. He talked to me, you know? God told me to kill them so the devil couldn’t touch them.”

Her face crumpled into sadness and she stopped speaking. She wrapped her arms tightly around her body and started to hum a quiet tune while rocking back and forth in her chair.

I took a step back, unsure if I should say something else, but it was clear that Lily was lost in her own world now and wouldn’t be any further help to me.

I murmured my thanks to the nurse by the door and quickly slipped out and hurried down the hallway in a haze. A cloud of confusion, fear, and sadness blocked my rational thoughts and a visual loop of Lily’s sneering face played over and over in my mind, like a trailer for some trashy horror movie.

I needed fresh air. I almost tumbled out the front door and onto the sidewalk. The air was crisp and cool, the perfect autumn afternoon. After a few deep breaths, I was finally able to get control of myself and sit down to process my bizarre encounter.

I wasn’t sure what I had been expecting when I came here: maybe I thought Lily would still be that woman from the photos and could explain everything to me, but the reality of her transformation had hit me smack in the face. The woman that Blake Harrison had loved and married had lost her mind, and had turned into a monster that killed her own children.

Pity welled in my heart and I felt the warm drip of tears down my cheeks. I felt for this once happy and beautiful woman, so lost in her insanity that she had become a completely different person, capable of such horrifying, evil acts.

My heart stung even more deeply for Blake. The impenetrable wall behind which he hid his emotions, his mood swings, his sadness, his demons, they all made sense to me now. He had opened his heart and loved someone, and then he had to watch her deteriorate, lose her mind, and ultimately betray him in the deepest way. It was a tragedy too large for any human to bear.

I kicked at the pavement, unable to contain my own emotions either. Blake had been so kind and generous to me, but I now knew that he was wounded profoundly, into the depths of his soul. Would he ever be able to open up and love me after having his heart torn out so violently?

I had to talk to him. I had to know. I wiped at my eyes and took a deep breath. I couldn’t wait any longer. I reached into my purse and pulled out my cellphone to call a taxi.

Chapter 9.

The wind tore through the treetops, leaves poured down in twirling brown and orange cascades as the taxi pulled into the Harrison Estate. The weather wasn’t helping my growing fear and the lump in my throat that grew as I approached Blake. I wasn’t sure what his reaction would be when I told him that I knew his secret, but I was sure it would not be good.

“Here is fine,” I told the driver as we pulled up to the side door. I didn’t want to be use the front entrance and have Marshall or Jane question me before I had the chance to talk to Blake.

The mansion was eerily quiet for the middle of the afternoon. Maybe I was just imagining it, but it felt ominous. I shivered and pulled my cardigan closer around me as I slipped through the hallways and made my way to Blake’s office.

The gentle yellow light streamed in from under Blake’s office door. There was no turning back now. I had to talk to him. I steeled myself, straightening out my cardigan and skirt, and squared my shoulders before knocking firmly on the polished wood.

“Come in,” Blake’s familiar deep voice called from inside. Despite my fear, the sound of his voice warmed my core and sent tingles up my spine. I would never tire of hearing it.

I pushed the heavy door and peeked my head inside. Blake was sitting at his desk in front of piles of paper, but he stood up and grinned at me as soon as he saw me.

“Hey, you.” He straightened his perfectly tailored charcoal grey suit jacket as I walked in.

“Have you had a relaxing morning?” he continued. “I thought you could use a break.”

His face looked so eager and cheerful in that moment. I felt an overwhelming temptation to pretend I still didn’t know his secret. We could just pretend that everything was fine for another day. But the memory of Blake’s tortured screams at night, and Lily’s deadened eyes reminded me that I couldn’t pretend that nothing was wrong.

“Well, my morning wasn’t exactly relaxing. Actually, that’s why I came to see you. I need to talk to you about something.” I twisted a piece of my long, dark hair in my fingers, trying to find the right words.

“Have a seat, Grace.” His voice sounded concerned. “Is something wrong? Just let me know and I’ll fix it.” He looked so strong and authoritative that I almost believed he could fix anything. How could this Blake Harrison be the same man who crumpled at the mention of his past?

“It isn’t that simple,” I whispered, my voice catching in my throat. “I know about Lily and what she did. I know why you hurt so badly.” I looked up to see his clear green eyes staring back at me.

Blake’s face turned white, but his features settled into his emotionless mask. I had expected to see sadness or rage. The lack of emotion scared me even more. “What did you do?” His voice was a low, quiet whisper that sent shivers up my body.

“I did research. And then I went to see her.” I couldn’t look at him as I spoke, so I looked down and my hands and rushed through my words as quickly as possible. “Now I understand why you try to keep me out, why you hurt so badly. You loved her and she hurt you. You had to watch everyone you loved get destroyed. I’m so sorry. I’m sorry about your wife and I’m sorry about your children. I’m so sorry Blake.” My voice wavered and I could feel the hot tears trailing down my cheeks as I spoke.

I looked up at Blake’s face, not knowing what to expect from him anymore. His face was still emotionless, but I could see him clasping his hands so tightly his knuckles were turning white.

“You had no right.” His voice was strangled. His steady, calm façade was crumbling and I didn’t know what to do.

“I know.” I looked up into his face, searching for the real Blake Harrison behind his steely mask. “I’m sorry Blake.” I felt myself choking on my words, and I reached up at Blake, wanting to touch him, to make him understand. “I just needed to understand you, understand why you shut me out. I wanted to know how to help you.”

Blake’s cold mask slipped and I saw the sadness in the corners of his eyes. He hesitated and I could see the emotions fighting inside him. I twisted my hair tightly in my fingers, waiting to see what Blake would decide.

“I understand that this has all been difficult for you. I didn’t want to tell you the truth. I’m a damaged man, Grace. You are so young, and sweet, and pure. You shouldn’t stay here with me. I’ll destroy you. I’ll ruin you.” Blake’s face had crumpled into despair and it hurt my heart to look at him.

“You won’t destroy me. Nothing that happened was your fault.” I reached out and grabbed his hand in my own.

Blake squeezed my hand and pulled me up towards him. “You are too good, Grace. You deserve a fairytale, not being stuck in my messed up, twisted story. I’m already ruined.” He hugged me tightly, stroking my long hair.

“You deserve a fairytale too. I’m sorry your first one fell apart.” I looked up into his chiseled, angular face and pressed my lips to his. He kissed me back gently, his warm lips softly pressing against mine.

“I loved her once, you know,” he whispered. “She was a wild, beautiful, talented artist. She had mood swings, but overall, we were happy.”

I nodded, looking into his deep emerald eyes, which glistened with unshed tears as he spoke.

“And then her mood swings got worse and worse until she had turned into a different person. After she had our son, she just descended into madness. She would rant about salvation and the lord. I begged her to get help, but she refused. So I ignored the problem. I threw myself into work, building the Harrison Media empire while my wife withered away. When I came home, she would scream and tell me that I was the devil, that I was poisoning our children’s souls. So I rarely came home. And then one day, I came home and she was cov…”  He struggled to continue, a single tear finally making its way down his tortured face. “Covered in our children’s blood. I should have been there… I should have known what was happening and stopped it, but I wasn’t.”

Blake finally let go of his stone mask and his face twisted into complete sadness. I hugged him tightly as he shook, finally letting the emotions that he had kept locked away pour out as we held each other tightly.

“You couldn’t have known. What happened was a tragedy, but it was not your fault. You deserve happiness Blake.” I pulled back to look at him and he looked back at me with those intense green eyes.

“I love you, Grace.” He said the words so gently that I was worried I had imagined them. “I love you. I love you.” This time he said it more loudly as a smile spread over his face. The sadness disappeared from the corners of his eyes as he spoke.

“I love you too,” I whispered back, realizing for the first time that it was true. I had never really known what true, romantic, complicated, twisted love was before now, but this was what I had always been missing.

He pressed his lips hard against mine, pulling me up against his chest so tightly that I could feel his heart pounding. His hands wove through my hair, gripping it tightly and pulling my head back so I was looking up at him. His eyes flashed dark with passion that melted me to my core.

“Make love to me,” I moaned into his neck. “I want to feel you inside of me. Fuck me harder than you’ve ever fucked anyone.”

“Be careful what you wish for, Grace,” he whispered warningly.

“I don’t want to be careful,” I replied with an excited smile.

Blake gave me a look that made me wonder if I knew what I was in for, but before I could protest he pushed me hard against the wall. My back slammed against the wall, knocking the breath right out of me. I gasped, but Blake did not give me the time to catch my breath before he pushed his hand up my skirt, his fingers searching out the thin fabric covering my wet slit. He quickly pulled at it, ripping it open with the strength of his fingers.

“You are already so wet for me, my sweet little Grace,” he groaned as his fingers pressed against my slippery slit, already coated in my juices. “You’re all ready for me to fuck you.”

He reached down and grabbed the back of my thighs, pulling them up around his waist in one swift pull of his muscular arms. He yanked down the zipper of his pants and freed his erect cock from the confines of his silk boxers. His hard cock was poised at my tight entrance and with one quick thrust he burst inside of me, filling me up with his long, thick shaft.

I wrapped my legs tightly around him, pulling him even deeper inside of me. I wanted to be fucked senseless and I knew that Blake could do just that.

He pumped inside me, hard and fast, slamming me against the wall with each thrust of his hips. His cock pushed deep inside me, sending sparks into my core with each hard thrust.

I could feel my pleasure building fast. The lack of oxygen from being pushed so hard against the wall made me feel dizzy in a way that intensified my pleasure. I could only focus on the hard pounding of Blake’s cock inside me as he fucked me senseless. I heard myself screaming incoherently before I even realized what I was doing.

My body was shaking, exploding in an intense orgasm as Blake pulled his cock from inside me and sprayed his streams of warm, creamy cum over my thighs. I gripped him tightly, feeling the waves of pleasure shoot through me and gently subside as the last drops of cum fell from his cock.

In exquisite contrast to how violently he fucked me, Blake gently eased my body to the ground, with sweet and gentle care. I realized that I loved both sides of Blake Harrison. He might always be tortured and torn, he might always be inconsistent and confusing, but I loved every part of this contradictory, problematic man.

Chapter 10.

I pulled the blankets tighter around me. It was a cold and dreary Monday in November, but I had to get up soon because I had agreed to go into the city and meet with a potential client.

After the success of the Harrison Media launch party, several high profile executives had reached out to me about contracting my assistance with their own events. I had to turn down most of them because I was busy working for Blake, but my work had slowed down a bit recently and Blake had convinced me that I should branch out and see what I could accomplish.